History Quotes / CharacterFilibuster

-->-- '''Firo''' to '''Victor''', ''LightNovel/{{Baccano}}''

->"And when ya think about it, isn't that exactly the ''point?!"''

->"...Parking?"

->"..and driving, and shopping, and eating, and working.. Somewhere, somehow, they all got chewed up and spit back out. They don't taste like living anymore. Don't you see what's it's like in this deranged, Waring blender of a world? Every day is an agonizing ordeal, like balancing a pot of scalding water on your head while people whip your legs and butt. Ah, you never forget your senior prom... You think I'm sick? Well, the only disease I've got is modern life, a shnug-busting gauntlet of inefficiency and misery that's one long parade of letdowns, put-downs, trickledowns, shutouts, freezeouts, sellouts, numbnuts, nickenputz and nimrods! All making every day as much fun as waxing a flaming Pontiac with your tongue! Where even if you ''do'' luck into the possibility of some fleeting pleasure, like say if some nymphomaniac telephone operators with the muscle control of Romanian mat-slappers agree to a little strip air-hockey, it'll be over before it starts, cuz some foul, leaking, feta-reeking cab-jockey slams his Checker up your hatchback and the cab is owned by some pinata-spanker from a Santeria cult in Jualculpa who starts shaking chicken bones at you and gives you a boil on your neck so big that all it needs is Michael Jordan's autograph to make it complete! And even with all this, ''with all this!'' I still drag my sorry butt off the Sealy every morning and stick my face in the reaping machine for one more day! ''Knowing'' when it's time to flash the cosmic card key at those pearly gates, I won't be in the coffin anyway, because some underhanded undertaker sold my heart, pancreas and other assorted good-and-plenty to that same Santeria cult! ''So does anybody really wonder why anybody is hanging onto sanity by the atoms on the tips of their fingernails, while life dirty-dances on their digits, and is it really any wonder THAT I SEEM DERANGED!?''

-->--'''''Series/ThePractice'''''

->I have a secret to tell
->From my electrical well
->It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
->So the room must listen to me
->Filibuster vigilantly
->My name is Blue Canary, one note, spelled L-I-T-E

->"Sheesh, don't rant 'till you run out of breath, dumbass. And ''twice?'' What are you, twelve?"

-->--Franklin D. Roosevelt

->'''Magnus the Red''': ...He uses this as a flimsy excuse as to why he's sexually repressed, this record taking its every chance to talk about every person's desire for THE SEX! Because Ian Watson is a FREE SPIRIT not bound by what makes a book 'good'; [[SnarkBait in the conventional sense]], [[AuthorAppeal only focusing on what he, himself, wants to write about]]! And isn’t there something quite liberating about that kind of mindset?\\

->'''Magnus the Red''': Because Ian Watson is a FREE SPIRIT [[BadWritingIndex not bound by what makes a book 'good']]; [[SnarkBait in the conventional sense]], only focusing on what he, himself, wants to write about! And isn’t there something quite liberating about that kind of mindset?\\
'''Whamuudes''': No! No! NO!! Not when [[Literature/InquisitionWar you're recording an Inquisitor's investigation]] into a potential [[CensorshipBySpelling Choas]] Incursion, one of the biggest threats known to man! This is NOT RELEVANT INFORMATION!

'''Richard:''' How stupid of me to expect you people to be decent or humane. You think you’re heroes, playing a part in the criminal justice system: the crusaders against oppression. Well, you might have started out that way, but look at you now. The day to day stench of your clients has rubbed off. You’re every bit as vile and contaminated as the murderers and rapists you defend. You bring no dignity to law. You proffer disgrace. Where you might once have been noble, you’ve sunk into a sinkhole of disrepute where your only idealism is “Get the guy off,” even when it offends human nature; where it insults morality. You’re so lost in the inferno of crime and dishonor, you become sickening animals, repugnant to everything that’s good about this country, everything this country celebrates in the spirit of humanity. You are sick, awful, vehicles of hate. If there is a god, He will get you, you sleazy, cancerous, infected, malignant, grotesque snakes!

-->-- ''Manga/KeroroGunsou -- Encounter 69: For Today's Youth: A Dose of Cold, Harsh Reality''

-->--'''{{Duckman}}''', ''Room With A Belleview''

--> ''Manga/KeroroGunsou -- Encounter 69: For Today's Youth: A Dose of Cold, Harsh Reality''

-->'''-{{Duckman}}''', ''Room With A Belleview''

--> --''Music/TheyMightBeGiants'', "Birdhouse In Your Soul"

-->--'''''ThePractice'''''

(Beat)
->"...Parking."
(Beat)

"Sheesh, don't rant 'till you run out of breath, dumbass. And ''twice?'' What are you, twelve?"

->They sit down and do what everyone [[TheMatrix Matrix Reloaded]] does: Talk. The French guy, who is evil, hits a height of ludicrous repetition in a urine stream of psychobabble that goes on and on and ''on''. Gini and I, having endured as much as we could, could no longer help it; we began to laugh helplessly at this terrible dialogue. It started as a bubbling giggle, and then rapidly grew to stifled guffaws - which were terribly obvious in the theater because nobody else in the audience was making a sound. Heads began to turn. Two minutes later, when we realized that we just ''couldn't fucking stop laughing'', Gini and I fled to the bathroom, tears streaming from our eyes.

->"..and driving, and shopping, and eating, and working.. Somewhere, somehow, they all got chewed up and spit back out. They don't taste like living anymore. Don't you see what's it's like in this deranged, Waring blender of a world? Every day is an agonizing ordeal, like balancing a pot of scalding water on your head while people whip your legs and butt. Ah, you never forget your senior prom... You think I'm sick? Well, the only disease I've got is modern life, a shnug-busting gauntlet of inefficiency and misery that's one long parade of letdowns, put-downs, trickledowns, shutouts, freezeouts, sellouts, numbnuts, nickenputz and nimrods! All making every day as much fun as waxing a flaming Pontiac with your tongue! Where even if you ''do'' luck into the possibility of some fleeting pleasure, like say if some nymphomaniac telephone operators with the muscle control of Romanian mat-slappers agree to a little strip air-hockey, it'll be over before it starts, cuz some foul, leaking, feta-reeking cab-jockey slams his Checker up your hatchback and the cab is owned by some pinata-spanker from a Santeria cult in Jualculpa who starts shaking chicken bones at you and gives you a boil on your neck so big that all it needs is Michael Jordan's autograph to make it complete! And even with all this, ''with all this!'' I still drag my sorry butt off the Sealy every morning and stick my face in the reaping machine for one more day! ''Knowing'' when it's time to flash the cosmic card key at those pearly gates, I won't be in the coffin anyway, because some underhanded undertaker sold my heart, pancreas and other assorted good-and-plenty to that same Santeria cult! ''So does anybody really wonder why anybody is hanging onto sanity by the atoms on the tips of their fingernails, while life dirty-dances on their digits, and is it really any wonder THAT I SEEM DERANGED!?''

--> ''KeroroGunsou -- Encounter 69: For Today's Youth: A Dose of Cold, Harsh Reality''

--> --''TheyMightBeGiants'', "Birdhouse In Your Soul"

->They sit down and do what everyone Matrix Reloaded does: Talk. The French guy, who is evil, hits a height of ludicrous repetition in a urine stream of psychobabble that goes on and on and ''on''. Gini and I, having endured as much as we could, could no longer help it; we began to laugh helplessly at this terrible dialogue. It started as a bubbling giggle, and then rapidly grew to stifled guffaws - which were terribly obvious in the theater because nobody else in the audience was making a sound. Heads began to turn. Two minutes later, when we realized that we just ''couldn't fucking stop laughing'', Gini and I fled to the bathroom, tears streaming from our eyes.

----
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