History Quotes / CaptainObviousAesop

-->-- ''WebVideo/InternetHistorian'', "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROaj3bCpZEM Very Serious Business]]"

-> '' "This is a waste of the potentially realistic and interesting ways you could have taken this story. Instead of seriously exploring the problems with centralization or authorities like governments having control over your life, it settles for the much less deep question, "Would it be bad if the Illuminati hacked your grandmother's hip replacement and made her into a killing machine?" And the answer to that question, shockingly enough, is yeah! That would be quite bad!"''

->''"I don't like vampires. I'm gonna take a stand and say they're not good."''
-->-- '''Xander''', ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'', "Welcome to the Hellmouth"

->''"By the end the only unquestionably good lesson anyone should take from it is that having your cake and eating it too is very possible in [[VeryLooselyBasedOnATrueStory autobiographical narratives.]] Also... It's good to have more confidence, be somewhat bolder and have fun while dating. The negative lessons that most guys [[DiscoDan probably take]] [[LoungeLizard from the book]] [[HeManWomanHater are too numerous]] [[SerialKiller to list here.]]"''
-->-- '''Wiki/RationalWiki''' on ''The Art of the Game''

->''"There's a very subtle message steeped within the lore of the film's universe, and not many people get that. The message is that near-future dystopian city-states are bad, and bad men do bad things in them. Really makes you think, doesn't it?"''
-->-- '''Creator/JimSterling''' on [[Film/DoubleDragon1994 Koga Shuko]]

->''"And then, in a truly brilliant closing exchange, we learn that this whole godforsaken experience has reminded Tom that he needs to (brace yourselves for originality!) believe in himself. I honestly can't believe they got anyone to say these lines without curling into a fetal position out of sheer embarrassment."''\\\
'''Paris:''' It seems, Captain, that I still have a few barriers to break. I just hope they're not theoretical impossibilities.\\
'''Janeway:''' Somehow, I don't think they will be.\\\
''"Oh god, the pain! [[SuckinessIsPainful The pain!]] ''End! End! End!''"''
-->-- '''Website/TheAgonyBooth''' on ''Star Trek: Voyager'', "Threshold"

->''"And not that we needed it, but now that the final note has sounded we can say conclusively that the ''Franchise/{{Superman}}'' mythology was only ever a low-risk (because of the built-in fan base and richness of [[FleetingDemographicRule material to mine]]) backdrop for advancing the wholly unoriginal proposition that [[BehindEveryGreatMan every great man has a great woman behind him]], an idea that would seem to exult in women by implying that they are simply great on their own but that actually uses them as basically undeveloped, and therefore static, props in the service of men."''
-->-- '''[[http://www.supermanhomepage.com/tv/tv.php?topic=reviews/smallville10-ep22 Marc Pritchard]]''' on ''Series/{{Smallville}}''

->''"The problem, to be blunt, comes when ''Series/BlackMirror'' embraces technology, which it does with tedious half-heartedness. The second season episode “Be Right Back” is illustrative...Surely it is not controversial to suggest that this is a bit shit. That a biting satire or a black mirror held up to society in the year 2013 could maybe stand to have something more to say than ''“we aren’t entirely honest about who we are on Website/{{Facebook}}.”'' That ''“[[GrumpyOldMan damn kids get off my lawn]]”'' is, simply put, just not a gripping point."''
-->-- '''[[http://www.eruditorumpress.com/blog/capitalist-pig-4-black-mirror-grey-miasma-of-bland-cultural-commentary/ El Sandifer]]''', “Social media’s kind of artificial, isn’t it?”

->''"Oh, my word, how could I have been blind to the possibilities! [[AllThatGlitters Doing good? With money?]]\\\
What unimaginable creativity. No wonder you are worth [[PointyHairedBoss millions of dollars a year]]!"''
-->-- '''Cerberus''' [[http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/40016 rebuts]] David Brooks

->''"You hear that, Senator Wendy Davis? SITCHO ASS DOWN. We don’t need your weak-ass attempt at blocking abortion legislation; we got Music/{{Miley|Cyrus}}, and she’s telling us not to be scared of anything. Whaddup, Malala; you think you’re a feminist for trying to go to school in a place where girls are banned from school? BIG WHOOP. Get back to me when you get into deep feminist shit like going topless at the beach. Listen up women (and womyn), Miley has spoken!."''
-->-- '''Michael K.''', [[http://dlisted.com/2013/11/14/miley-cyrus-is-the-biggest-feminist-in-the-world-according-to-miley-cyrus/ "Miley Cyrus Is the Biggest Feminist in the World, According to Miley Cyrus"]]

-->-- '''Creator/JimSterling''' on [[Film/DoubleDragon Koga Shuko]]

''"Oh god, [[TastesLikeDiabetes the pain!]] [[SuckinessIsPainful The pain!]] ''End! End! End!''"''

->'''[[AmbiguouslyEvil Mich]][[ReformedButNotTamed ael]]:''' So, Chidi, just want to double check: how do ethical philosophers feel about murder?\\
'''[[AesopEnforcer Chi]][[BlackAndNerdy di]]:''' It's frowned upon.

''"[[TastesLikeDiabetes Oh god, the pain! The pain!]] ''End! End! End!''"''

->''"And not that we needed it, but now that the final note has sounded we can say conclusively that the ''Franchise/{{Superman}}'' mythology was only ever a low-risk (because of the built-in fan base and richness of [[FleetingDemographicRule material to mine]]) backdrop for advancing the wholly unoriginal proposition that every great man has [[WomenAreWiser a great woman behind him]], an idea that would seem to exult in women by implying that they are simply great on their own but that actually uses them as basically undeveloped, and therefore static, props in the service of men."''

->''Dear Music/{{Moby}},''\\

''Safari suits,''\\

''Youth suicide,''\\
''[[GreenAesop Pollution]],''\\

-->--''Literature/HowNotToWriteANovel''

-->--'''Xander''', ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'' ("Welcome to the Hellmouth")

-->--'''The Narrator''', ''Series/MythBusters''

-->--'''Greendale Student''' to Britta in full SoapboxSadie mode, ''Series/{{Community}}''

-->--'''''Wiki/RationalWiki''''' on ''The Art of the Game''

-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'''''

-->--'''Creator/JimSterling''' on [[Film/DoubleDragon Koga Shuko]]

-->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' on ''Star Trek: Voyager'', "Threshold"

-->--'''[[http://www.supermanhomepage.com/tv/tv.php?topic=reviews/smallville10-ep22 Marc Pritchard]]''' on ''Series/{{Smallville}}''

-->--'''[[http://www.eruditorumpress.com/blog/capitalist-pig-4-black-mirror-grey-miasma-of-bland-cultural-commentary/ El Sandifer]]''', “Social media’s kind of artificial, isn’t it?”

-->--'''Cerberus''' [[http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/40016 rebuts]] David Brooks

-->--'''Michael K.''', [[http://dlisted.com/2013/11/14/miley-cyrus-is-the-biggest-feminist-in-the-world-according-to-miley-cyrus/ "Miley Cyrus Is the Biggest Feminist in the World, According to Miley Cyrus"]]

-->-- [[{{Blog/Codiekitty}} Codiekitty]]

-->--'''WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob''', [[http://youtu.be/TLD9U87b8qk?t=2m47s ''Child Bride'' review]]

-->--'''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''' in his review of ''Film/FaceOff''

-->--'''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''' in his review of ''WesternAnimation/AdventuresOfSonicTheHedgehog''

'''[[AesopEnforcer Chi]][[NerdyBlackGuy di]]:''' It's frowned upon.

-->--'''[[http://www.eruditorumpress.com/blog/capitalist-pig-4-black-mirror-grey-miasma-of-bland-cultural-commentary/ Phil Sandifer]]''', “Social media’s kind of artificial, isn’t it?”

-->--'''Greendale Student''', ''Series/{{Community}}''

-->--'''Music/TomLehrer''' on {{protest song}}s, "The Folk Song Army"

-->--'''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''' in his review of Film/FaceOff

->''"And not that we needed it, but now that the final note has sounded we can say conclusively that the Superman mythology was only ever a low-risk (because of the built-in fan base and richness of [[FleetingDemographicRule material to mine]]) backdrop for advancing the wholly unoriginal proposition that every great man has [[WomenAreWiser a great woman behind him]], an idea that would seem to exult in women by implying that they are simply great on their own but that actually uses them as basically undeveloped, and therefore static, props in the service of men."''
-->--'''[[http://www.supermanhomepage.com/tv/tv.php?topic=reviews/smallville10-ep22 Marc Pritchard]]''' on ''{{Series/Smallville}}''

->''"The problem, to be blunt, comes when ''Series/BlackMirror'' embraces technology, which it does with tedious half-heartedness. The second season episode “Be Right Back” is illustrative...Surely it is not controversial to suggest that this is a bit shit. That a biting satire or a black mirror held up to society in the year 2013 could maybe stand to have something more to say than ''“we aren’t entirely honest about who we are on Facebook.”'' That ''“[[GrumpyOldMan damn kids get off my lawn]]”'' is, simply put, just not a gripping point."''