History Podcast / TheHiddenAlmanac

* VoiceOfTheLegion: The many-mouthed plague god that a cult almost sacrifices the interns to does this. [[spoiler: So does Mord, after he survives being swallowed by it. But only when he's angry.]]

The podcast ran for exactly six years, with the first episode released on September 13th, 2019, and the last on September 13th, 2019.

* HilariousInHindsight: Pastor Drom and Reverend Mord’s conversation about advantages and disadvantages of immortality becomes much funnier after learning that [[spoiler: Reverend Mord is a millennia-old undead human]]
--->'''Drom:''' I mean, if you lived forever, think how bored you’d get! There’s only so many hobbies you can pick up! I mean, I enjoy knitting, but in a thousand years, my yarn collection would get seriously out of hand!\\
'''Mord:''' Oh, I don’t know. One might… take up gardening… look forward to hellebores… learn to take pleasure in the return of spring…

* ImprobableWeaponUser: In one episode, an angry mob marching on a butterfly sanctuary (due to confusion over a pesticide scare) were fended off by heroic enetemologists wielding large hissing cockroaches.

* YouMeanXmas: So far, two episodes have been dated 25 December, and both have avoided any mention of Christmas, focusing instead on the pagan festival of Dies Natali Solis Invictus, the Birthday of the Unconquered Sun. In one of them, Reverend Mord remarks: "Other people were born today, but very few of them can compete with the Unconquered Sun." (There are, however, a few scattered mentions of Christmas in other episodes.)

->''That's the Hidden Almanac for September 13th, 2013. Be safe, and stay out of trouble.''

* EveryoneHatesMimes: Mimes have been banned within city limits since the Great Mime Uprising of 1893, and there are rumors of an underground Mime cult. (Whether the Uprising itself was inspired by prior mistreatment is unknown; apparently the ringleaders never said what their motivation was.)

** The oft-mentioned Echo Harbor is a CityOfWeirdos where strange happenings are so much more common that nothing that happens there is a surprise. No, not even shutting out the Fathers with a wall made of live dolphins that whistle hostile sonnets. The only event ever mentioned to terrify its citizens is that time [[http://thehiddenalmanac.wikia.com/wiki/Episode_for_2015-10-14 a little old lady]] came through striking up conversation and being unperturbed by the clouds performing unspeakable rites on each other.

* ExactWords: Mord is not “just plants in a suit”. Nor is he “a swarm of beetles in a suit”. [[spoiler: He is an undead human combined with an undead vine, which is tended to by rare (and possibly extinct) beetles. Get it right]]

** Mord had scarab beetles deliver messages For him in earlier episodes ([wrong kind of beetle, obviously])

** Drom in her early appearances was entirely unwilling to talk about the Feast Day of St. Phallos. ** The first time "Mord may be a mass of scarab beetles in a plague doctor suit" came up was when Drom declared she'd always suspected it but had decided he wasn't, since he'd just torn off a degenerate cultist's face with his teeth. Mord responded, "I still might be. We may just be very good at operating teeth."

* EarlyInstallmentWeirdness: Mord's voice sounds more like Kevin Sonney's natural speaking voice initially, and gradually becomes deeper and slower. Drom in her early appearances was entirely unwilling to talk about the Feast Day of St. Phallos. The first time "Mord may be a mass of scarab beetles in a plague doctor suit" came up was when Drom declared she'd always suspected it but had decided he wasn't, since he'd just torn off a degenerate cultist's face with his teeth. Drom responded, "I still might be. We may just be very good at operating teeth."

* AbhorentAdmirer: the Cannibal Fly Priesthood to Reverand Mord (though they deny any admiration)

* RaisedByWolves: St. Brega seems to have been raised by owls

'''Mord:''' Oh, I don’t know. One might… take up gardening… look forward to hellebores… learn to take pleasure in the return of spring…\\

'''Drom:''' I have been told to be 'groovy', Drom. I do not ''do'' 'groovy'.

**
—->'''Drom:''' I mean, if you lived forever, think how bored you’d get! There’s only so many hobbies you can pick up! I mean, I enjoy knitting, but in a thousand years, my yarn collection would get seriously out of hand!\\
**
—->'''Mord:''' Oh, I don’t know. One might… take up gardening… look forward to hellebores… learn to take pleasure in the return of spring…\\
**

->''Welcome to the Hidden Almanac. I'm Reverend Mord. Today is September 13th, 2013.''

[[http://www.hiddenalmanac.com/ The Hidden Almanac]] is a podcast created and written by Creator/UrsulaVernon and produced by Kevin Sonney. According to her blog, Ursula Vernon came the idea after hearing too many people describe ''Podcast/WelcomeToNightVale'' as "Creator/HPLovecraft meets ''Radio/APrairieHomeCompanion''" and started wondering what would have happened if Lovecraft had met Garrison Keillor's other radio show, ''The Writer's Almanac'', instead.

Each five-minute episode follows a set format: After introducing the program and announcing the date, Reverend Mord recounts a couple of events that occurred on the same day in history, profiles a saint whose feast day it is, and offers some seasonal gardening tips. All of these might at any moment take a sudden turn into the uncanny, despite which Reverend Mord will narrate all of them in the same calm, matter-of-fact voice. At the end of each episode, Reverend Mord reads a couple of sponsors' messages, then signs off.

Now has [[http://thehiddenalmanac.wikia.com/wiki/The_Hidden_Almanac_Wiki a wiki]], with the encouragement of the producers.[[note]][[http://www.hiddenalmanac.com/the-hidden-almanac-for-2013-11-22/ Direct quote]]: "To quote one of the producers 'Oh God, Please. And a timeline would be really useful.'"[[/note]]

!!''The Hidden Almanac'' provides examples of:
* AlternativeCalendar: Events in Echo Harbour are described as taking place in years with names like "Year of the Dripping Moon" instead of numbers.
* AndCallHimGeorge: Mentioned as a hazard posed to pets by garden yetis.
-->'''Mord:''' At worst, the yetis may attempt to snuggle the chickens and name them George. Fortunately, they are easily distracted and will usually put the chicken down before it becomes annoyed.
* AndThatLittleGirlWasMe: Mord tells a [[spoiler: dying Drom]] the story of a gardener who planted the First Garden, in the First City, and who died trying to save a rare vine during a storm, only to be resurrected and combined with the plant by a nature goddess, and granted immortality. It's very obviously Mord's personal story.
* ApothecaryAlligator:
-->'''Drom:''' Necromancers are weirdos who hang out in dark lairs full of books and pentagrams and stuffed alligators hanging from the ceiling.
* BaitAndSwitch:
** An advertisement for a bake sale in Echo Harbour declares, "[[ThinkOfTheChildren It's for the children]]... [[EnfantTerrible and you know what happens if we don't appease the children]]."
** An author whose most famous novel inspired two movies and three doomsday cults was upset at how badly it had been misinterpreted... by the makers of the movies.
* BerserkButton: One should ''not'' suggest harm to Mord's books. Or his hellebores. But mostly his books.
-->'''Mord:''' ''(VoiceOfTheLegion)'' WE. DO. NOT. BURN. BOOKS.
* BewareTheSillyOnes: When Mord asks Drom how she would conquer a technologically advanced society, her answer involves two asteroids, nuclear winter, and food laced with highly addictive drugs. She also keeps a shotgun under her bed, a second one under the sink, and a pistol.
* BrainwashedAndCrazy: Drom spends most of the Fathers arc as this, having to doublethink her way into helping Mord. Unfortunately, the doublethink doesn't hold out forever.
--> '''Pastor Drom:''' Okay, so you take the hypotenuse of the worthiness of the two sides MORD LOOK OUT I’VE GOT A STUN ROD AFTER ALL
* BrickJoke: The episode for October 23rd, 2013, begins with an account of an 18th-century law that banned goats and goat cheese and resulted in the establishment of several "cheese-easies", and ends with an announcement that the episode's sponsor is "Heywood's, the oldest cheese-easy still in existence".
* BrotherhoodOfFunnyHats: The Sacred Order of Bull-Moose Men.
* BuffySpeak: Apparently working up a miracle involves "wogitating thingies." If the thingies won't wogitate, cash may be required instead.
* TheCaligula: The Librarian Prince, famous for his nonsensical Hateful Decrees, and general reign of terror.
* ChristmasCreep: Several episodes are sponsored by Suzie's Seasonal Assassins, an organization devoted to discouraging perpetrators of Christmas Creep with extreme prejudice. In later advertising spots they appear to have branched out to things like unpleasant relatives making holidays uncomfortable, but they always come back to this.
* CityWithNoName: Many of the historical events occurred in "the city", the name of which Reverend Mord apparently expects his listeners to know without being told. The country in which it is set likewise remains unnamed.
* ContinuityNod: The episode for 9 December 2013 records that in 1781, the Librarian Prince forbade the use of numberical placings in contests, leaving people to come up with workarounds such as "color-coded ribbons, Honorablest Mentions, and the 'We're Extremely Glad You Participated Award'". A couple of episodes later, an item about sheep breeding mentions that in 1783 a ram named Sturdy took the "Exceedingly Honorable-We-Really-Mean-It Award" at the city fair.
* DisposableIntern: The Hidden Almanac has interns, whose duties include tending the Hidden Almanac Test Garden. If an intern's name is mentioned, they'll probably do all right, but if not they'll probably die in the same sentence in which they're first mentioned while testing an electric birdbath or something. In early 2014, a stretch of episodes spanning several weeks featured progress reports on a party of interns who had become lost in a snowstorm while out in the Test Garden, and were forced to fight off bears and contemplate cannibalism before eventually finding their way home.
* DissonantSerenity: Reverend Mord maintains the same calm, soothing tones no matter how weird the subject under discussion becomes.
* DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything: The race of District Court Judge has fairly obvious parallels to the 2016 presidential election, growing more pointed as it goes on.
* EarlyInstallmentWeirdness: Mord's voice sounds more like Kevin Sonney's natural speaking voice initially, and gradually becomes deeper and slower. Drom in her early appearances was entirely unwilling to talk about the Feast Day of St. Phallos. The first time "Mord may be a mass of scarab beetles in a plague doctor suit" came up was when Drom declared she'd always suspected it but had decided he wasn't, since he'd just torn off a degenerate cultist's face with his teeth. Drom responded, "I still might be. We may just be very good at operating teeth."
* EldritchAbomination:
** Mentioned periodically in history segments, usually in connection with Echo Harbor.
** Corvus-Wrax, god of the crows.
** The horrible many-mouthed plague god that a cult tries to feed the interns to.
** A very small skeletal mouse that infests the garden and at least once bit a visiting Royal Ornithologist.
* EveryoneHatesMimes: Mimes have been banned within city limits since the Great Mime Uprising of 1893, and there are rumors of an underground Mime cult. (Whether the Uprising itself was inspired by prior mistreatment is unknown; apparently the ringleaders never said what their motivation was.)
* ExecutiveMeddling: In-Universe. A story arc covers the station executive's attempts to modify the show's format, including "all country and western", a talk-show with Pastor Drom, and switching the music to smooth jazz. Mord is unimpressed.
-->'''Mord:''' I have been told to be 'groovy', Drom. I do not ''do'' 'groovy'.

—->'''Drom:''' I mean, if you lived forever, think how bored you’d get! There’s only so many hobbies you can pick up! I mean, I enjoy knitting, but in a thousand years, my yarn collection would get seriously out of hand!

—->'''Mord:''' Oh, I don’t know. One might… take up gardening… look forward to hellebores… learn to take pleasure in the return of spring…