History ParanoiaFuel / OneThousandWaysToDie

* "Poly-Ass-Turd" and "Dia de Los Morons": To make a long story short, you should probably stay away from any kind of flames if you're wearing polyester.

* "Botoxicated", "Caulk Blocked", "Titty Titty Bang Bang", and "Spastic Surgery" all have victims die due to the surgeon either being a fraud/quack or not fully paying attention to the patient. Unless it's absolutely mandatory for your health, it'll make you wanna think twice before deciding to get surgery, ''especially'' if it's invasive ''and'' you're short on money .

* "Botoxicated", "Caulk Blocked", "Titty Titty Bang Bang", and "Spastic Surgery" all have victims die due to the surgeon either being a fraud/quack or not fully paying attention to the patient. Unless it's absolutely mandatory for your health, it'll make you wanna think twice before deciding to get surgery, ''especially'' if it's invasive.

* "Shafted" has an office manager get trapped in an elevator and has her co-workers pull the doors open so she can climb out, but the elevator's hydraulic brakes give out and she ends up bisected. This is exactly why you should simply wait for help to come when you're in a stuck elevator.

* "Him-Paled" has a pervert who took underskirt photos get pierced with a beam through his whole torso, courtesy of a clumsy construction worker. You probably should steer clear being under rooftops after seeing this.

* "Splat-formed" shows why wearing any sharp accessories while dancing is not a good idea.

* "Nite Capped" features a man and his girlfriend coming home from a New Year's Eve party. Suddenly, an unknown bullet pierces through the man's chest and shoots him through the heart. As it turns out, another party was going on a few miles away, and one of the guests at that party [[FiringInTheAirALot shot a handgun in the air to ring in the new year.]] The stray bullet ended up building enough velocity to ricochet and travel several miles away and cause the death. Needless to say, it is a good reason why firing a gun in the air for any reason is a criminal offense.

* "Mail Order Fried" has a mailman taking a second job as a dunk tank target die when dunked into the water, not because he drowned, but because a wire from the fuse box fell into the water and electrified it. Let's see you think of being a target for a dunk tank after this.

** To make it worse, this was actually based on a real life horrible injury (but not death) that happened to a ''3-year-old girl''.

* "Extinguished" has a JerkJock trying to spray his teammates in the locker room with a fire extinguisher, only for it to explode due to his improper way of handling it (as well as the extinguisher being faulty due to not being replaced) and the impact causing the handle to lodge into his chest and puncture his heart. There's a reason why the container has an instruction sign to tell you how to properly use the fire extinguisher.

* "Caulk Blocked", "Titty Titty Bang Bang", and "Spastic Surgery" all have victims die due to the surgeon either being a fraud or not fully paying attention to the patient. Unless it's absolutely mandatory for your health, it'll make you wanna think twice before deciding to get surgery, ''especially'' if it's invasive.

* "Amish-Tinguished" has a man drink for the first time during his Rumspringa...and then dropping dead. As it turns out, he succumbed to alcohol poisoning quicker than usual because he lacked an enzyme to break down the alcohol. That's gonna make you think twice before drinking any kind of alcoholic beverages.
* "Caulk Blocked", "Titty Titty Bang Bang", and "Spastic Surgery" all have victims die due to the surgeon either being a fraud or not fully paying attention to the patient. Unless it's absolutely necessary, it'll make you wanna think twice before deciding to get surgery.

* "Corset Killed Him" has a dancer who's let himself go wear a corset to hide his gut, but he ends up tying it too tight and suffocates when his anger gets the better of him. This might put you off from wearing any kind of shapewear.

* "Hydrate-Dead" has a hyper-competitive marathon runner die from fatal encephalitis caused by drinking too much water. You heard that right: even doing something seemingly normal as ''drinking water'' can kill you.

* "Hydrate-Dead" has a hyper-competitive marathon runner die from fatal encephalitis caused by drinking too much water. You heard that right, even doing something seemingly normal as ''drinking water'' can kill you.

* If you're going to make food out of animal meat, make sure the meat is cooked properly. "Squirreled Away" had a redneck taxidermist contract rabies from a rabid squirrel he ate because he cooked the meat rare.

* "Caulk Blocked", "Titty Titty Bang Bang", and "Spastic Surgery" all have victims die due to the surgeon either being a fraud or not fully paying attention to the patient. Unless it's absolutely necessary, it'll make you wanna think twice before deciding to get surgery.

* “Spastic Surgery” has a woman who had recently undergone gastric bypass die because of the surgical forceps the surgeon accidentally left inside her. Makes you want to double check yourself at the doctor’s don’t it?

* "Extinguished" has a JerkJock trying to spray his teammates in the locker room with a fire extinguisher, only for it to explode due to his improper way of handling it and the impact causing the handle to lodge into his chest and puncture his heart. There's a reason why the container has an instruction sign to tell you how to properly use the fire extinguisher.

* "Amish-Tinguished" has a man drink for the first time during his Rumspringa...and then dropping dead. As it turns out, he succumbed to alcohol poisoning quicker than usual because he lacked an enzyme to break down the alcohol. That's gonna make you think twice before drinking any kind of alcoholic beverages.

** To make it worse, this was actually based on a real life horrible injury (but not death) that happened to a ''3-year-old girl''. AdultFear indeed!

* Any of the deaths caused by asphyxiation or someone dying from an allergy that the victim was unaware he or she had. For example, the 32-year-old virgin whose first -- and last -- time was with a dominatrix who made him wear a latex gimp suit. The man died from a massive latex allergy and the dominatrix didn't realize that the man was dying because she mistook his groaning of pain as [[TooKinkyToTorture groans of pleasure]]. Or the bitchy redhead at a spa who died of being exposed to water when the spa's sprinkler alarm system went off after her pubic hair caught fire. Or the Amish teenager who drank too much, not aware he lacked an enzyme that could break down his alcohol and was poisoned.

* "Par-Gore" has a traceur get impaled through the throat by a metal pipe. Hope you don't plan on doing parkour in the future.

* Any of the deaths caused by asphyxiation or someone dying from an allergy that the victim was unaware he or she had (like the 32-year-old virgin whose first -- and last -- time was with a dominatrix who made him wear a latex gimp suit. The man died from a massive latex allergy and the dominatrix didn't realize that the man was dying because she mistook his groaning of pain as [[TooKinkyToTorture groans of pleasure]] or the bitchy redhead at a spa who died of being exposed to water when the spa's sprinkler alarm system went off after her pubic hair caught fire, or the Amish teenager who drank too much, not aware he lacked an enzyme that could break down his alcohol and was poisoned).

* Ditto the death of the Viking who got an infection after he hit his thigh on the mouth of his decapitated foe. A human is one of the ''worst'' things [[ManBitesMan to be bitten by]] in terms of infectious disease.

** To make it worse, this was actually based on a real life death that happened to a ''six-year-old girl''. AdultFear indeed!

Though most of these deaths [[TooDumbToLive are caused]] [[KarmicDeath by stupidity]], the ones that aren't definitely qualify for [[ParanoiaFuel this trope]]...

* "Homie-Cide" has a method actor (aiming for a role as a gangster in a movie) successfully survive a gang initiation. As he walks away triumphantly from the underpass where his initiation took place, he's suddenly struck dead... by rival gang members dumping a body from the bridge above him, completely oblivious to his presence until their victim and the unfortunate actor "butt heads" at terminal velocity. [[NoPeripheralVision This isn't a case of lacking peripheral vision, either.]] He was killed by a large object being dropped from far above him, just out of view (the angle of impact had the body strike him from the back on the head). The same thing ''could'', in theory, happen from something as mundane as walking past a multi-floored building. [[SchmuckBait Try not to scan the roofs the next time you're passing an apartment complex.]]

* "Scam Eye Am (Dead)" has a con artist getting his eye pulled out by a door coat hook. You may want to stay away from them again before someone opens a door--or at least keep the door lock to keep from someone breaking in.
* "Gooed Riddance": Let's just say you never want to play Chubby Bunny ever again after seeing someone choke from marshmallows.

* "Par-Gore" has a parkour jerk get impaled through the throat by a metal pipe. Hope you don't plan on doing parkour in the future.

* "Vuvu... Whatever, He's Dead" has an annoying soccer fan at a local soccer game vigorously and continuously blowing a vuvuzela with so much pressure he eventually triggers a fatal aneurysm in his brain. Think about that when you blow through a horn. If you ever took music class, you would know why the musical teacher advises all students who played any type of horn not to puff their cheeks while blowing.

* "Erecto-Phobia" features a guy who's cheating on his girlfriend getting bitten by a wandering spider that stowed away in her grocery bag, giving him a permanent erection before he dies of a heart attack during sex. Think about that the next time you're at the supermarket.

* "Grateful Bed" features a wannabe musician who hides inside his Murphy bed to ditch his landlord, who is outraged of him not paying his rent for his apartment. While the wannabe musician is able to successfully hide from his landlord, he is trapped inside his enclosed Murphy bed and eventually suffocates. Makes one reconsider sleeping on a Murphy bed after this now, huh?

* "Her Own Damn Fault" has a cheating woman flirting with her husband's boss and distracting herself from the tennis match, which results in getting hit on the head with a tennis ball. She is then stunned and stumbles upon the tennis net's hand crank, which smacks her so hard in the head with enough force to fracture her skull wide open, killing her. Makes one cautious of handling the hand crank of the net after watching this.