History Narm / Theatre

* The last few scenes of ''Theatre/{{Othello}}'' are ruined by lines like "I am maimed for ever" and "O heavens forfend!" The latter is possible to say dramatically... but not in unison with somebody else, and Shakespeare has ''all'' the characters on the stage say the line simultaneously.

* The last few scenes of ''Theatre/{{Othello}}'' are ruined by lines like "I am maimed for ever" and "O heavens forfend!" The latter is possible to say dramatically... but not in unison with somebody else, and Shakespeare gives the line to "All".

'''Student reading Bernardo's part''': (''over-the-top ebonic tone'') Say ''whaaaaat?''

* The last few scenes of ''Theatre/{{Othello}}'' are ruined by lines like "I am maimed for ever" and "O heavens forfend!" The latter is possible to say dramatically - but not in unison with somebody else, which is how it's supposed to be said.

* Many instances of [[Creator/WilliamShakespeare Shakespeare]] characters announcing their own deaths. [[JustifiedTrope Justified]] due to the constraints of the Elizabethan stage; without such announcements, either the actors wouldn't know when to die or the audience in the nosebleed seats wouldn't know if someone had truly died. (That goes for the broken leg as well.) For example, [[CaptainObvious "O, I am slain!"]] is uttered both by Paris in ''Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet'' and by Polonius in ''Theatre/{{Hamlet}}'', while the final scene of the latter features Gertrude uttering "I am poison'd."

* Many instances of [[Creator/WilliamShakespeare Shakespeare]] characters announcing their own deaths. [[JustifiedTrope Justified]] due to the constraints of the Elizabethan stage; without such announcements, either the actors wouldn't know when to die or the audience in the nosebleed seats wouldn't know if someone had truly died. (That goes for the broken leg as well.) For example, [[CaptainObvious "O, I am slain!"]] is uttered both by Paris in ''Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet'', and by Polonius in ''Theatre/{{Hamlet}}'', while the final scene of the latter features Gertrude uttering "I am poison'd."

* Potiphar's roar in ''Theatre/JosephAndTheAmazingTechnicolorDreamcoat'' is rarely not Narmful, but special mention goes to the movie starring Donny Osmond, where Potiphar seems to moo in anger.
* When Creator/CirqueDuSoleil debuted ''Theatre/{{KA}}'' in 2005, the aftermath of the Battlefield scene had [[spoiler: the Emperor trying to comfort his wicked son, who has been blinded by his explosives and is]] crying in pain. The wailing went on at length originally, but was subsequently dialed back -- probably because it easily came off as this.
** ''Theatre/{{Saltimbanco}}'''s climatic bungee act would be gorgeous if the singer didn't just... sit there and sing while watching the act.
** ''Theatre/{{Zarkana}}'''s baby funeral scene. "Welcome to my funeral, please don't scream..." Audiences found it hard to take seriously and reportedly mocked it walking out of the show -- when the whole show got a LighterAndSofter retool in 2014, this transitional segment was altered and became a CreepyGood parade, dropping the offending lines and narminess.

* The last few scenes of ''Theatre/{{Othello}}'' are ruined by lines like "I am maimed for ever" and "O heavens forfend us!" The latter is possible to say dramatically - but not in unison with somebody else, which is how it's supposed to be said.
** Iago has the line, "Drown thyself? Drown cats and blind puppies!" Narm is combined with KickTheDog -- and the dog still [[NarmCharm got a respectable kick]]. Shakespeare, you MagnificentBastard...
---> "My leg is cut in two."
** Also in the end of ''Othello'': Desdemona uttering a FinalSpeech after being ''suffocated''. Suffocation kills you because of ''lack of air''. ''Air is what you use to speak'', ''Shakespeare''. Better in the opera ''Otello'', when she has an ''entire aria''.
*** The conventions of theater might mean that Desdemona's final speech ''should'' be taken as an internal monologue and not spoken dialogue. Shakespeare's characters love thinking out loud, and not every instance of that should be interpreted as literal speaking. Still, it's [[RuleOfPerception all too easy to interpret it that way,]] and it doesn't explain how she told Emilia that she killed herself...
** Almost everything Gratiano says in that scene is [[CaptainObvious obvious]]. For instance, he says, "He's gone, but his wife's killed" to describe an event that happened approximately one second ago in front of everyone.
** Othello himself mars an otherwise magnificent speech in this scene with "Here is my journey's end, [[HaveAGayOldTime here is my butt]]..."
** Not to mention the "O bloody period!" line.
* Some of the deaths in ''Theatre/{{Macbeth}}''. Particularly "Fly, good Fleance, fly, fly, fly!"
-->'''Young Macduff''': "Thou liest, shag-haired villain!"
-->'''Murderer''': "What? You egg!"
*** Parodied in ''Literature/HorribleHistories'', where the assassin says, "You've done it now, sonny! I happen to be very sensitive about my shag-hair!"
** 'He has killed me, Mother.' [[CaptainObvious No shit.]]
** When the witches greet one another in an early scene and ask where they've been, one replies, "Killing swine." Now, while it was widely believed in Jacobean England that witches traveled the land slaying livestock, there's something about the bluntness of this line that makes it ridiculous.
** After Macbeth and his wife murder Duncan, Ross and an old man take note of the ensuing dreary atmosphere. The dark skies and the owl killing and eating a hawk work well enough as symbolism, but the cannibalistic horses end up pushing things over the top.
* From ''Theatre/JuliusCaesar,'' Mark Antony's famous "Dogs of War" soliloquy:
--> "O pardon me, thou bleeding piece of earth..."
** This can evoke the image of Caesar as a human-shaped pile of dirt oozing blood.
** ''Theatre/JuliusCaesar'' also features Cassius, who, upon hearing that it looks like the battle is going badly for his friend Titinius down the hill, kills himself. Titinius enters immediately afterward, perfectly fine. It's hard to summon much pathos for a death that could have been averted by ''waiting thirty seconds.''
*** Titinius (or some soldier) immediately kills himself out of sorrow for his beloved commander Cassius. Like ''Hamlet'', ''Theatre/JuliusCaesar'' is overly scrupulous about obeying the idea that tragedy means "everyone's dead by the end of the play".
** HaveAGayOldTime is the cause of quite a bit of Shakespearian Narm. Just try to take [[Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet Lord Capulet]] seriously after he calls Mercutio "You saucy boy!"

* [[CaptainObvious "O, I am slain!"]] is uttered by Polonius in ''Theatre/{{Hamlet}}''.
** The final scene of ''Hamlet'' features "I am poison'd."
** This made reading ''Hamlet'' in English class a bit more interesting:
--->'''Student reading Marcellus's part''': (''awkwardly'') Holla, Bernardo!\\
'''Student reading Bernardo's part''': (''over-the-top ebonic tone'') Say ''whaaaaat?''
** Many of the Shakespearean examples are in the plays because they announce deaths and, without them, either the actors wouldn't know when to die or the audience in the nosebleed seats wouldn't know if someone had truly died. (That goes for the broken leg as well.)

* The scene in ''Theatre/TitusAndronicus'' in which Titus is presented his daughter, who had previously been raped and had her hands and tongue cut off/out:
-->"Titus, this is your daughter!"\\
"Why, Marcus, so she is."
** The violence in ''Titus'' is so graphic, and CrossesTheLineTwice so frequently that some modern scholars believe it to be either a deliberate self-parody or a parody of contemporary playwrights. But amidst all the murder, rape, dismemberment, and cannibalism, this gem from Aaron's MotiveRant still manages to stand out as tacitly ridiculous:
-->Oft have I digg'd up dead men from their graves/And set them upright at their dear friends' doors/[[RelativeButton Even when their sorrows almost were forgot]]/And on their skins, as on the bark of trees/Have with my knife carved in Roman letters/'Let not your sorrow die, though I am dead.'
* And then there's perhaps the most infamous stage direction in all of theater, from ''Theatre/TheWintersTale'': "O I am gone for ever!" ''ExitPursuedByABear''. The bear is not mentioned at all in the prior speech and just comes out of nowhere.
* For modern audiences, Creator/{{Aeschylus}}' play ''Theatre/{{Agamemnon}}'' features a particularly hilarious bit of Narm. While being murdered offstage, the title character delivers this line:
--> "Oh, I am struck deep with a mortal blow!"
** And then, a few moments later:
---> "Oh! Yet again, a second time I am struck!"
** How many mortal blows can a fella get? [[Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail Come on, it's just a flesh wound!]]

-->[[DesecratingTheDead Oft have I digg'd up dead men from their graves]]/[[DeadGuyOnDisplay And set them upright at their dear friends' doors]]/[[RelativeButton Even when their sorrows almost were forgot]]/[[CarvedMark And on their skins, as on the bark of trees]]/[[KnifeNut Have with my knife carved in Roman letters]]/[[RefugeInAudacity 'Let not your sorrow die, though I am dead.']]

--->''"Are murdered."''\\