History MemeticBadass / RealLife

*** [[http://www.gstatic.com/hostedimg/2934f1cc36185de2_large This picture is not photoshopped.]] ([[http://www.life.com/image/53381173 No, really. Not photoshopped.]])

* [[SamuelLJackson Samuel L. MOTHERFUCKING Jackson.]]

--> In 1879, at the age of fifty-eight, African explorer and scholar Sir Richard Burton -- easily among the [[MemeticSexGod top twenty stallions ever to trod the earth]] -- was set upon by thugs in Alexandria. Biographer Edward Rice wrote of the incident: "In the old days Burton would have knocked his assailants' heads together, or even better, killed them... Getting rolled by scofflaws was a disheartening turning point in Burton's career. The valiant participant in unspeakable sexual rituals of the African jungle; the mighty linguist who'd written dictionaries and translated ancient poetry; the first Englishman to pierce the secret world of Mecca... being denied promotion by [[ObstructiveBureaucrat pissant bureaucrats]] back in Old Blighty and spending his golden years with a harpy Victorian wife bent on payback for years of neglect certainly didn't do anything to salvage the old wolf's pride.

** Lawrence, an enlisted British officer fresh from the war front, insisted on being received by the King of England in flowing white Arab robes with dagger and headdress. The King of England, a [[StuffyBrit notorious stuck-up]] when it came to protocol and dress, deigned not to say anything.

* [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simo_Hayha Simo Häyhä]] is generally considered the greatest killing machine in the history of the human race. The scary part is that ''[[OneManArmy this is entirely justified.]]'' He's estimated to have killed over an average of 7 Russian soldiers every day for almost one hundred days until he was shot in the face by a high-powered rifle in the last week of the war. Simo Häyhä survived because he's Simo Häyhä.
** Bullshit. Simo Häyhä isn't a ''Memetic'' Badass. Memetic Badasses are deliberatly exaggerated, and nobody can exaggerate his legacy.
** Keep in mind that after being shot in the face, he grabbed his own gun and killed his attacker before passing out.

* Should World War 3 happen, and the world be engulfed in nuclear fire, only two living things would remain in the aftermath: cockroaches, and Keith Richards.

* Nikolai Tesla. He invented alternating current and had some crazy ideas rattling around his head. He's since become a stock figure for producing insanely advanced mad science in period pieces.

* In Soviet Russia, wheat harvests YOU!

*** And even if it didn't, you'd still buy it BECAUSE THAT SCREAMING VOICE MIGHT AS WELL BE ORDERS FROM GOD HIMSELF.

* Unlike Optimus Prime below, Jesus never blasted Roman soldiers with an ion rifle or demonstrated an ability to turn into an awesome truck... but [[KungFuJesus he totally ''could'' have if he wanted to.]]

* AVeryPotterMusical has made ZacEfron a MemeticBadass on a smaller scale. Ask any AVPM fan, even ones who hated him before they watched AVPM, and they'll tell you all about what a charismatic humanitarian he is.

* '''InAWorld''' .... where movie studios .... spend '''hundreds of millions''' on special effects .... but forty-five cents on a script .... '''one man''' .... must generate hype .... and keep the viewers '''coming back''' .... '''He was'''.... ''' ''Don [=LaFontaine=]'' '''.

** His movies were obviously faked. There's no way he beat Chuck for real!

*** [[ChuckNorrisFacts Chuck Norris]] is the American Bruce Lee.
**** Chuck Norris hasn't died yet because he knows that when he does, Bruce Lee will be waiting for him.

*** Chuck Norris is the American Bruce Lee.

* What, no Noam Chomsky yet? He's been qouted more than anyone basically

* StephenFry: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHxXcPC-PcM not been listed yet?]]

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykwqXuMPsoc Narwals!]] [[EverythingsWorseWithBears They can beat a polar bear in a fight]], they're the Jedi of the sea, and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking invinted the Shish-Kebab!]]

* ...why the hell has StephenFry [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHxXcPC-PcM not been listed yet?]]

** Bullshit. Simo Häyhä isn't a ''Memetic'' Badass. Memetic Badasses are deliberatly exaggerated, and nobody can exxagerate his legacy.

** Did you know that Tesla actually came up with a device that could generate earthquakes? [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Really]]! One day, the ''entire city block'' that his apartment was on became the epicenter of an earthquake that showed no signs of letting up. The police rushed up to his room, where they found him smashing his device to bits with a sledgehammer. His explanation for the whole debacle? [[CrowningMomentOfFunny "The switch got stuck."]]

* [[http://corsette.livejournal.com/ Corsette]] (formerly sugarhugs) on livejournal is defintely one. To the extent that [[http://muffin-shota.livejournal.com/100606.html another user made a list of scientifically proven things that she has done and is capable of!]]

** Georgi Zhukov would definitely qualify on the Soviet side. Stalin had to be content with exiling him because killing him would have prompted an army mutiny he couldn't contain. The threat of a Zhukov personality cult would haunt every Soviet premier up to Brezhnev (who tried to insert himself into Zhukov's autobiography in hopes that the badassery would rub off on him!)

** [[http://www.cracked.com/article_15895_5-most-badass-presidents-all-time.html This article at Cracked]] would like to imagine that fellow president George Washington was a bulletproof Incredible Hulk, and that Andrew Jackson invented GunKata. And in regards to Roosevelt:

* [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Farragut Civil War admiral David Farragut.]] You know him for coining the phrase "Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!"

* [=WikiLeaks=] founder Julian Assange seems to be becoming this.

* The British tendency towards the StiffUpperLip has reached this, though you could argue its justified with the number of examples recorded.

* ZoeBell can give a man multiple orgasms by roundhouse kicking him. (This also overlaps with MemeticSexGoddess.)

* At least among the IU Men's Soccer Student Section, this is Will Bruin. But only if it gets taken UpToEleven.