History Main / WouldRatherSuffer

** In the first ''VideoGame/DrJekyllAndMrHyde'' episode, he advises destroying the game instead of playing it, saying, "You'd rather super-glue your asshole shut than play that game. You'd rather drown in gasoline."

* ''WesternAnimation/{{Disenchatment}}:'' Faced with being either thrown in Bentwood's dungeons or having to put up with Merkimer and Pig-Merkimer, Bean goes with the dungeon.

* ''WebVideo/TheBlockbusterBuster'': In his review of the 2003 adaptation of ''Film/TheCatInTheHat'', he says he would rather watch ''Film/TheRoom'' while strapped to a chair with his eyes strapped open while Creator/TommyWiseau sits next to him and gives his own personal commentary.

** Fred has this to say about the Franchise/IndianaJones franchise and ''Film/IndianaJonesAndTheKingdomOfTheCrystalSkull'':

*** At the beginning of "[[Recap/DuckTalesS1E20DownAndOutInDuckburg Down and Out in Duckburg]]", Scrooge is looking forward to a new episode of ''[[ShowWithinAShow Lifestyles of the Filthy Rich]]''. [[ServileSnarker Duckworth]] says he's anticipating it too...the way he would anticipate being hit by a bus.

* ''Webcomic/NaruHinaChronicles'': Ino is annoyed by the fact that Shikamaru has kept his relationship with Temari a secret from her and Choji. She decides to punish Shikamaru by forcing him to pay for the barbecue meal and bringing Temari along so they would get to know her better. Shikamaru then complains that he would much rather let Temari meet [[AmazinglyEmbarrassingParents his parents]] instead.

A character expresses his displeasure for an idea by claiming a preferred alternative -- except that alternative is clearly something the average person would find unthinkably undesirable, usually subjecting oneself to pain, death or both.

* A ''ComicBook/{{Hellblazer}}'' comic subverts this: a couple is arguing, with the man saying that he'd rather shove red-hot needles in his eyes than talk to her family any more. A while later, due to demonic influence, [[EyeScream he does just that]], and tells her in a completely normal voice that he was wrong: this is much worse.

* In one ''ComicBook/DonaldDuck'' strip, Donald gets hired to drive a bus for an infamously rowdy class of elementary schoolers to take them on a field trip to the zoo. The ride turns out to be hell on wheels for Donald, as the kids run around the bus like its a playground, throw things, spill food, attempt to wrestle the wheels, and almost cause numerous accidents that Donald has to account for. Things doesn't get any better when they arrive at the destination as the kids immediately run off and free the zoo animals. By the end of the story, Donald is seen working as a human cannonball, and claims that this is safer than dealing with those kids again.
* ''ComicBook/ArchieComics'' has one story where Archie agrees to take over a friend's duty as an ice-cream truck driver. He repeatedly fails to stop customers (such as [[BigEater Jughead]] and a mob of local kids) from clambering into the truck and helping themselves on the goods, and later gets clobbered by [[CrazyJealousGuy Moose]] when the latter saw Midge enter the truck to buy ice-cream. When his friend comes back to the job and asks if Archie would consider running an ice-cream truck full-time, Archie claims that he'd rather be a lion tamer.

* ''Fanfic/TruePotential'': After Anko sneezes in Chapter 66, Zabuza tells her to stay far away from him if she's sick, as he hates getting sick. He adds "I'd rather take a kunai to the back then catch a fucking cold."

'''Han:''' Am I? Then why are you following me? Afraid I was going to leave without giving you a good-bye kiss?!\\

** In "[[Recap/TheAddamsFamilyS1E7HalloweenWithTheAddamsFamily Halloween with the Addams Family]]", crooks Marty and Claude end up accepting Gomez' invitation to celebrate Halloween with them in a desperate attempt to hide from the cops. Over time, they get less and less satisfied with their hiding place. When the Addamses announce they're going to read a poem, Claude whispers to Marty that it would be better for them in jail. Marty hisses at him to be quiet.

* In an episode of ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'', Raj is about to lose his work Visa and is in danger of deportation, so Sheldon offers to let Raj work for him. (Not ''with'' him, '''for''' him.) Raj says he'd rather swim naked across the Ganges River with paper cuts on his nipples and die a slow agonizing death from infection than work with Sheldon. [[note]]This is NOT a ridiculously exaggerated example. Do NOT go anywhere near the Ganges river if you have an open wound. It is gross.[[/note]] [[TooDesperateToBePicky Then he says he'll take the job.]]

'''Blackadder:''' Thanks George, but if you don't mind, I'd rather have my tongue beaten wafer-thin by a steak tenderizer, and then stapled to the floor with a croquet hoop.

** In the third live show, Eddie's response to Richie suggestion of playing "I, Spy" is to say that he would rather watch an entire episode of ''Telly Addicts'', with sellotape over his mouth so he would have to swallow his own vomit. He then amends this by saying he would rather be taped to Noel Edmonds himself, in the nude, without ear plugs or a "beardguard".

* ''Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir'': Near the end of episode "Day Damn One", Carlton advices Will to change his ways so he could fit in with his friends, but Will makes clear that he doesn't want Carlton's friends.

* ''Series/HouseOfTheDragon'': In the finale of Season 1, when Ser Otto Hightower has the temerity to offer the fostering of both Princes Aegon the Younger and Viserys (squire and cupbearer respectively) to King Aegon (TheUsurper) as a reward of his terms (read: "hostages"), Daemon verbally eviscerates him.
->'''Prince Daemon Targaryen:''' I would rather feed my sons to the dragons, than have them carry spears and cups for your drunken, usurper [[PrecisionFStrike cunt]] of a king.

** In "Love Conquers Al", Peggy suggest that she and Al join her parents and the other couples in a marriage retreat.

* In ''VisualNovel/ShinraiBrokenBeyondDespair'', Raiko attends a Halloween party held by her friend Rie, and rejects the cat costume [[AmazinglyEmbarrassingParents her mother]] bought for her, finding it embarrassing. She remarks to Momoko that she'd rather kill herself than wear it, and [[DudeNotFunny Momoko calls her out on her making light of suicide.]]

** In the first ''VideoGame/DrJekyllAndMrHyde'' episode, he advises to destroy the game instead of playing it, saying, "You'd rather super-glue your asshole shut than play that game. You'd rather drown in gasoline."

--->'''[=JdG:=]''' I am as eager to play this game than to cut off my own balls with a shovel....

** In episode "Crimes R Us", King Bowser Koopa abducts a crook named Crime Wave Clyde, who was sentenced to [[LongerThanLifeSentence 12,423 years with no parole]] in jail, to teach his kids how to become criminals. The Koopa Kids drive Clyde crazy throughout the episode and later, under their father's orders, double-cross him. After Clyde [[HeelFaceTurn switches over to the Mario Bros' side]] and [[TheDogBitesBack even helps them defeat Koopa and the Koopalings]], he happily returns to prison.

** In "Not All Dogs Go to Heaven", once word gets around town that Brian is an atheist, Mayor West says he'd rather welcome a terrorist into Quahog, because they'd at least believe in a god, "even if it's a smelly, brown god".

* ''WesternAnimation/GoofTroop'': In "Have Yourself a Goofy Little Christmas", Pete prepares to his family on a vacation to Aspirin, Colorado. When P.J. suggests that the Goofs come with them, Pete retorts that he'd eat cat litter first.

* ''WesternAnimation/StarTrekLowerDecks:'' At the end of "Hear All, Trust Nothing", Quark makes it emphatically clear in a choice between being in prison for fraud or just poor which he'd chose.

* ''VideoGame/MassEffect'': [[DirtyCop Harkin]] mistakes a female Shepard for a stripper, and ''very'' crudely invites her to cit down and entertain him.
-->'''Shepard:''' I'd rather drink a cup full of acid after chewing on razor blades.

* ''Series/{{Angel}}'': [[OurDemonsAreDifferent Lorne the Host]] when he's told he has to travel from Earth [[Never Accepted In His Hometown back to his]] [[HatedHometown home dimension:]]

* ''Series/{{Angel}}'': [[OurDemonsAreDifferent Lorne the Host]] when he's told he has to travel from Earth [[HatedHometown back to his home dimension:]]

-->'''Lorne:''' I'd rather have a hydrochloric acid facial. I'd rather invite a hive of wasps to nest in my throat. I'd rather sit through a junior high school production of [[Theatre/{{Cats}} "Cats"!]] You see where I'm going with this?

A character expresses his displeasure for an idea by claiming a preferred alternative -- except that alternative is clearly something the average person would find unthinkably undesirable, usually subjecting oneself to pain. This is mainly a ComedyTrope, deriving humor from the exaggerated, ridiculous description of unusual torture and possibly from CoolAndUnusualPunishment.
Can be a type of FreudianSlip or SuspiciouslySpecificDenial if the audience knows the character would actually [[{{Fetish}} find the mentioned activity enjoyable]] (even though most people wouldn't). If used in this manner expect the character to be objecting to something rather trivial. Even if it's not this, in especially comedic works expect another character to accuse the objector of doing this.

* ''Series/TheAddamsFamily'':

'''Ashi:''' I'd be happier as this creature's excrement that be grateful to you!

** In "Just One Bite", when [=SpongeBob=] asks Squidward if he'd like to try a Krabby Patty for the first time, he responds "If I were trapped at the bottom of a well for three years with nothing to eat but that Krabby Patty, I'd eat my own legs first! ''(beat)'' And not just the extra ones."

* ''Series/TheOrville'': Ed lampshades the TimeyWimeyBall in "[[Recap/TheOrvilleS2E13TomorrowAndTomorrowAndTomorrow Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow]]" as follows:
-->'''Ed:''' You guys will not get me into a discussion of time travel logic. I'd rather chew broken glass.

* Music/WeirdAlYankovic's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWhpk-8QLFQ "One More Minute,"]] singing about an ex.