History Main / WouldRatherSuffer

** In "Save the Date", Lincoln [[SheISNotMyGirlfriend denies]] having feelings for [[LovingBully Ronnie Anne]], saying he'd "rather lick the bathroom floor" than kiss her. Somewhat amusingly, he rescinds this statement when taken up on the "offer".

* ''Series/BabylonFive'': At the end of the first season, faced with going into the council chamber and ceding all claim to a sector of space to the Narns, Londo comments, "I think I'll go stick my head in the station's fusion reactor; it would be less painful. And after a while, I might even come to enjoy it."[[note]]This line has extra subtext to those who followed Creator/JMichaelStraczynski on Website/{{Usenet}}. He complained about being admonished to WriteWhatYouKnow; he used the same line (except that it was holding a drill to his ear and turning it on).[[/note]]

[[folder:Web Comics]]

* Early on in ''[[Literature/VorkosiganSaga Captain Vorpatril's Alliance]]'',

* ''Series/TheAddamsFamily'': In "Morticia the Matchmaker", a young lawyer's boss tries to send him to talk business with Gomez, saying that he's ideally suited because he's met the family before. The lawyer says he'd rather interact with a scorpion nest.

:: Arguably, this is more so that Kirk can't be accused of racism by his superiors in the Federation than anything else. He recognizes that the people back on Earth aren't going to look too kindly on him if he doesn't offer assistance, and he knows the Romulans well enough at this point to guess that Nero will reject his offer. Even if Nero did accept, Kirk could probably have simply used this as leverage to blackmail him. This incident is actually an example of Spock and the Vulcans not being entirely logical due to their bad blood with the Romulans.

* In ''WesternAnimation/ToyStory3'', the toys try to escape the daycare by sneaking out through the garbage chute, but their path is blocked by Lotso and his henchmen, who threaten to throw them in the dumpster if they don't stay with them and be part of their "family". Jessie responds with: "This isn't a family! This is a prison! I'd rather rot in this dumpster than join any family of yours!"

* In an episode of ''WesternAnimation/TheCritic'' where Jay [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lu7PxhwDGqw reviews]] a ''really'' junky movie with Creator/ClintEastwood returning as Film/DirtyHarry in "Film/{{Beverly Hills|Cop}} Franchise/{{Robo|cop}} [[Film/K9 K-9]] Film/CopAndAHalf 2". Jay unveils a scale that measures the movie in terms of diseases he'd rather have than watch it, which goes past leprosy and "unidentified yellow substance" before settling on spastic colon.

* On ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' Carter really doesn't want to spend time with his son-in-law. He gives this response when Lois asks if Peter could join him in a poker game.
-->'''Carter:''' Sorry, honey. I'd rather be stuck in an elevator with Creator/NathanLane, Creator/GilbertGottfried, Carrot Top, uh, Sean Hayes.... well, you get the picture.

* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13952417/24/High-Heels-and-Hippogriffs High Heels and Hippogriffs]]'' Cassie and Remus decide to visit Gringotts to hear the Potter wills.

->''"He'd rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea dump in his ear''\\
''He'd rather eat the rotten asshole of a road-killed skunk and down it with beer"''

[[folder:Asian Animation]]
* ''Animation/GGBond'': In Season 12 episode 2, GG Bond demonstrates his singing skills, which turn out to be [[DreadfulMusician so awful]] that S-Daddy says that he would rather listen to cats screeching than hear GG Bond's singing.
* In episode 31 of ''Animation/HappyHeroes'', the "romantic date with Miss Peach" scenario the Supermen go through in Doctor H.'s virtual reality dream goggles proves too disappointing for them, and once they wake up they tell the Doctor they never want to dream again.[[note]]The Supermen are robots and unable to dream normally like humans do.[[/note]] When the Doc tries to draw their attention to another scenario he made that he thinks they might enjoy, the Supermen stick to their word, with Smart S. commenting he'd rather die than have another dream.
[[/folder]]

* A ''ComicBook/{{Hellblazer}}'' comic subverts this: a couple is arguing, with the man saying that he'd rather shove red-hot needles in his eyes than talk to her family any more. A while later, due to demonic influence, [[EyeScream he does just that]], and tells her in a completely normal voice that he was wrong: this is much worse.

* In one ''ComicBook/SpiderMan'' story that takes place right after the ''Acts of Vengeance'', the villains he defeated during the arc team up for revenge against him; after they ''think'' they've killed him (they haven't naturally) Trapster hits on Titania, suggesting they go out and celebrate (with "you, me, a bottle of vino?"; her reply is that she'd "rather gargle battery acid".

* Similarly, Michelle does this to ''ComicStrip/{{Curtis}}'' sometimes when he asks her out.

* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11317269/2/Painted-in-the-Worst-Light Painted in the Worst Light]]'' Snape is unable to eat porridge of any variety.
-->'''Snape:''' It's an intolerance. It's not an allergy, but I'd rather eat nails. It wouldn't feel any different.
* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9928419/1/Season-of-Change Season of Change]]'' a post-fifth year Harry would rather be subjected to the Cruciatus Curse than spend yet another summer with his relatives.
* In ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3682339/2/The-Golden-Age The Golden Age]]'' a number of supposed Muggleborn are informed they were the product of rape. One anonymous witch is extremely bitter about her parentage in her written reply.
-->It might have made all the difference when I was at Hogwarts, but now I would rather have hot needles stuck in my eyes than accept charity from Lucius Arsehole Malfoy.

* In ''Fanfic/OldWest'', Rattlesnake Jake tells Delilah Rangler not to accept a bribe from his rival Irvin Worst, and she doesn't need to be told twice.
-->'''Delilah Rangler:''' Please, sugar. I may be a murderous criminal, but I ain't stupid. Plus, takin' money from Irvin Worst would mean I'd have to suffer him staring at my tits. I'd rather screw an exhaust pipe.

* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13418985/3/What-doesn-t-kill-you What doesn't kill you]]'':
-->'''Luna:''' No spacing out on me mister. Your first test is tomorrow, you need to eat as much as I'm sure your stomach doesn't want to.\\
'''Harry:''' A test? I'd prefer a trip to the doctor for a colonoscopy. I'd prefer a root canal...

* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3511594/1/I-Don-t-Love-You I Don't Love You]]'':
-->'''Harry:''' Not enjoying the party?\\
'''Snape:''' I'd sooner cut myself into little pieces in order to make it easier for Hagrid's mutt to eat me than go back into that hell.
* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7529611/1/Medium-Rare Medium Rare]]'':
-->'''Snape:''' Firstly, Simon Fraser is my ex, and it was he whom the gossipmongers saw with me. He is also my former professor, and he came here in an effort to get me to come back, both to him and to the university. To teach, for pity's sake. And since I would rather jab a hot poker into my eyes than teach, you can imagine my response.
* ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/33083749/chapters/82127446 Heat]]'': A Twi'lek stripper implies to Inalap'akis that she might be able to get the information she needs from the [=SiltShift=] Cantina bartender by seducing him.
-->'''Inalap'akis:''' Man at the bar says you know Andronikos Revel.\\
'''Dancer:''' I hate to break it to you, sweetie, but Regg’d lie to his own grandmother. Him’s the one that’s been doing business with Andronikos. I never seen the guy in my life. But, for a ''price'', I can tell you how to get old Regg to give up any information you want.\\
'''Inalap'akis:''' What do you want me to do, kriff him? Forget it, I don't do that anymore. Certainly not with a Rodian--I'd sooner run into a heat storm naked.

* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Brave}}'', during an explosive argument with her mother, Merida shouts "I'd rather die than be like you!"

* ''WesternAnimation/RecessSchoolsOut'': Miss Finster would rather eat playground dirt than go back to be with [[BigBad Benedict]].
* ''WesternAnimation/EdEddNEddysBigPictureShow'' has a dramatic example when Edd and Eddy have a falling-out after one cruel joke too many.
-->'''Edd:''' I'd rather face my consequences, Ed, than wander aimlessly with a ''so-called friend!''

* A PlayedForDrama example in ''Film/StarTrek2009''. When Nero's ship is caught up in the black hole created by the Red Matter, Kirk (against Spock's better wishes) offers a lifeline: to show that humans are decent enough to give an enemy a chance. Nero's reply?
-->'''Nero:''' I would rather suffer the end of Romulus a thousand times. I would rather die in ''agony'' than accept assistance from you.\\
'''Kirk:''' You got it. ''[to Sulu]'' Arm phasers. [[AlphaStrike Fire everything we got.]]
** Arguably, this is more so that Kirk can't be accused of racism by his superiors in the Federation than anything else. He recognizes that the people back on Earth aren't going to look too kindly on him if he doesn't offer assistance, and he knows the Romulans well enough at this point to guess that Nero will reject his offer. Even if Nero did accept, Kirk could probably have simply used this as leverage to blackmail him. This incident is actually an example of Spock and the Vulcans not being entirely logical due to their bad blood with the Romulans.

* Happens in ''Film/SinginInTheRain'' when Don kisses Lina while filming a love scene after learning that she got Kathy fired from her job because she knew he liked Kathy:

* ''Film/{{Lockout}}'': The leading man, Snow, initially refuses the call to save the president's daughter with the line "I'd rather castrate myself with blunt rocks."
* In the aftermath of getting a dick [[spoiler:farm]] branded on his ass on ''[[Series/{{Jackass}} Jackass 2]]'', Bam Margera has this to say:
-->'''Bam Margera:''' I'd rather rip my dick off and throw it in the river than to do that again. God ''damn''.
* ''Film/TheEmpireStrikesBack'':

* In ''Film/TheThreeMusketeers(1993)'' the queen declares that "I would rather die" than be [[SinisterMinister Richilieu]]'s wife when he takes the throne. He screams, "[[SuddenlyShouting THAT CAN BE ARRANGED!]]"
* A memorable one from Film/WithoutAPaddle comes when the protagonists are stranded in freezing rain, [[NakedPeopleAreFunny sans clothing]]:

* PlayedForDrama in ''Film/GuyverDarkHero''. As Crane and Marcus are fighting as Zoanoids, Crane talks down to Marcus about his desire to protect his family over serving Cronos, [[spoiler:which sadly ends in tragedy]]:
--->'''Crane:''' It didn't have to be this way, Marcus. [[WeCanRuleTogether We were doing great things together! You could have been somebody in the company]]!\\
'''Marcus:''' Junior Vice President in charge of genocide? I'd rather die.\\
'''Crane:''' ''(grabs a metal rod)'' Then so be it! ''[[spoiler:([[ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice impales Marcus]])]]''

* Creator/DaveBarry once wrote in a column that he "would rather undergo vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera."

* Creator/RogerEbert's review of ''Seven Days in Utopia'' began, "I would rather eat a golf ball than see this movie again."

-->'''Owner''': Very droll, sir. I've never heard that one before.\\

* ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus'': In "The Piranha Brothers," Luigi Vercotti describes the prospect of having to meet Doug Piranha:

* In the MusicalEpisode of Series/OnceUponATime, Rumplestiltskin declares he'd rather poke his eyes out with a rusty fork than sing.

* Music/WeirdAlYankovic's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWhpk-8QLFQ "One More Minute,"]] singing about an ex.
-->''That's right, you ain't gonna see me crying\\
I'm glad that you found somebody new\\
'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass\\
Than spend one more minute with you.''
* The song "Beg, Borrow, and Steal" by Ohio Express is all about how he'd rather do those three things for a living than go back to his {{Tsundere}} girlfriend.

* Perhaps the grand-daddy from popular music, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2u273F6oaE "Blue Suede Shoes,"]] where Carl Perkins sang that:
-->''You can burn my house, steal my car\\
Drink my liquor from an old fruit-jar\\
Do anything that you want to do\\
But uh-uh baby, lay off of my shoes''

[[folder:Print Media]]
* Stuart Campbell used this in some of his more negative ''Magazine/AmigaPower'' reviews:
** The review of ''International Rugby Challenge'' featured a "scientific" comparison of the game with other "most-bad things." The Bosnian war, the Somalian famine, the Rodney King beating, and the depletion of the ozone layer were all judged to be not as bad as ''International Rugby Challenge'', though "Having Electrodes Attached To Your Genitals And Being Flogged Senseless With A Knotted Rope" would probably be just as bad.
** The short review of the PortingDisaster of ''[=ThunderJaws=]'' included the statement "I'd rather have my liver pierced with a rusty fork and undergo a particularly unpleasant series of rabies inoculations than have to play this quite disgracefully boring and incompetent production-line conversion job again."

--> ''"[[InsultBackfire Why, thank you!]]"''
* ''Theatre/MyFairLady'': In "I'm An Ordinary Man," Higgins says that he'd "be equally as willing for a dentist to be drilling than to ever let a woman in my life," and, in the second verse, that he'd "prefer a repetition of the Spanish Inquisition."

-->''"Will your grace command me any service to the world's end? I will go on the slightest errand now to the Antipodes that you can devise to send me on; I will fetch you a tooth-picker now from the furthest inch of Asia, bring you the length of Prester John's foot, fetch you a hair off the great Cham's beard, do you any embassage to the Pigmies, rather than hold three words conference with this harpy!"''

* This happens twice in ''[[VideoGame/SuperMonkeyBall Super Monkey Ball 2]]''. A constantly brought-up plot point is that the main antagonist of the Story Mode, Dr. Bad-Boon has a crush on Meemee, who doesn't reciprocate at all, and rather harshly states she doesn't like him. Bad-Boon tries to get Meemee to marry him so he'll give back all the bananas he stole in the opening. Both times, she says she'd rather starve to death and stay small [[note]]Bad-Boon shrunk Aiai, Meemee, Baby & Gongon with a shrinker beam at this point in the game[[/note]] than marry him. He does not take those reactions well. [[note]]He then proceeded to plant a bomb in Jungle Island's volcano in an attempt to sink it, and tried to eat Aiai, Baby & Gongon, which were foiled by Gongon muscling the bomb out of the volcano and Meemee going up Bad-Boon's nose, respectively.[[/note]]

* ''[[http://www.somethingawful.com/hosted/cranky/ Cranky Steve's Haunted Whorehouse]]'' (now hosted on ''Website/SomethingAwful'') includes a colorfully described "Pain Level" for each awful map reviewed.

* [=FishStickOnAStick=], in his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGL463L9vwM review]] of ''Fanfic/BloodWhistle'', concludes that the story is beyond salvaging because he "would rather get impaled by the Blood Whistle itself than have to read this story again."

--> '''Mario:''' I'd rather face a thousand Koopas than one mermaid mackerel with marriage on her mind.

-->'''Luigi:''' Hey, well, thanks for the help, Clyde, but I’ve never seen anyone so happy to be back behind bars.
-->'''Clyde:''' 12,423 years and no parole is a lot better than one more day with those Koopas.

* ''WesternAnimation/DarkwingDuck'': In [[Recap/DarkwingDuckS3E4StarCrossedCircuits "Star-Crossed Circuits",]] while [[AIIsACrapshoot D-2000]] is trying to get Darkwing to take a romantic moonlight walk with it, it corners him against the edge of the tower and says he can either come along or dive into the bay. Darkwing thinks a moment and then takes the plunge. Unfortunately, it takes this as PlayingHardToGet.

* ''WesternAnimation/DuckTales1987'':
** At the beginning of "[[Recap/DuckTalesS1E20DownAndOutInDuckburg Down and Out in Duckburg]]", Scrooge is looking forward to a new episode of ''[[ShowWithinAShow Lifestyles of the Filthy Rich]]''. [[ServileSnarker Duckworth]] says he's anticipating it too...the way he would anticipate being hit by a bus.
** In "[[Recap/DuckTalesTheBrideWoreStripes The Bride Wore Stripes]]", Ma Beagle, who's faking a marriage to Scrooge for monetary reasons, asks her "husband" if he's going to kiss her. He retorts that he'd rather kiss Shamu the whale.
* ''WesternAnimation/DuckTales2017'': In "Happy Birthday, Doofus Drake!", Goldie recalls being trapped in another dimension where a million tiny imps would stab her with splinters and whisper all her worst failures in her ears. She says that her current situation, being locked in a GildedCage and forced to be Doofus's new "Gummeemama", is worse.

* In ''WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1987'' episode "Rhino-Man", Shredder and Krang have Rocksteady and Bebop become superheroes so they could enter a superhero contest and receive a diamond they want.
-->'''Shredder:''' (''about Rocksteady and Bebop'') Oooh, those morons! I should've handled this hero business myself! But I'd rather eat brussels sprouts for a week than be a do-gooder.

* White House adviser Kellyanne Conway has gone on record saying that, if offered the job of White House press secretary, would "Slit my wrists, bleed out, put CementShoes on, jump off the bridge, and then I'll take the job -- are you kidding me?" [[https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/03/18/kellyanne-conway-id-rather-slit-my-wrists-than-be-press-secretary/21902315/ Read the story here.]]

Compare INeedToGoIronMyDog as more mundane excuses. Contrast FateWorseThanDeath as a more serious comparison. AnythingButThat is another negative (over)reaction, though usually to threats. ImThinkingItOver is the related comedy trope where two lopsided alternatives are presented, and the character takes far too long to choose between them. If eventually forced into an undesirable situation, it might become TooDesperateToBePicky.

-->'''Inalap'akis:''' What do you want me to do, kriff him? Forget it, I don't do that anymore. Certainly not with a Rodian--I'd sooner run into a heat storm naked.