History Main / WhenLifeGivesYouLemons

-->'''Roderick:''' No. First you roll out a multi-media campaign to convince people lemons are incredibly scarce, which only works if you stockpile lemons, control the supply, then a media blitz. Lemon is the only way to say “I love you,” the must-have accessory for engagements or anniversaries. Roses are out, lemons are in. Billboards that say [[SexSells she won't have sex with you unless you got lemons.]] [[UpMarketing You cut De Beers in on it. Limited edition lemon bracelets, yellow diamonds called lemon drops.]] You get Creator/{{Apple}} to call their new operating system OS-Lemón. A little accent over the 'o'. You charge 40% more for organic lemons, 50% more for conflict-free lemons. You pack the Capitol with lemon lobbyists, you get a [[Series/KeepingUpWithTheKardashianos Kardashian]] to suck a lemon wedge in a [[HomePornMovie leaked sex tape.]] Creator/TimotheeChalamet wears lemon shoes at Cannes. [[EngineeredHashtag Get a hashtag campaign.]] Something isn’t "cool" or "tight" or "awesome," no, it's "lemon." "Did you see that movie? Did you see that concert? It was effing lemon.' Music/BillieEilish, "OMG, hashtag... lemon." You get Dr. Oz to recommend four lemons a day and a lemon suppository supplement to get rid of toxins 'cause there’s nothing scarier than toxins. Then you patent the seeds. You write a line of genetic code that makes the lemons look just a little more like tits... and you get a gene patent for the tit-lemon DNA sequence, you cross-pollinate... you get those seeds circulating in the wild, and then you sue the farmer for copyright infringement when that genetic code shows up on their land. Sit back, rake in the millions, and then, when you’re done, and you’ve sold your lem-pire for a few billion dollars, then, and only then, you make some [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] lemonade.

-->'''Roderick:''' No. First you roll out a multi-media campaign to convince people lemons are incredibly scarce, which only works if you stockpile lemons, control the supply, then a media blitz. Lemon is the only way to say “I love you,” the must-have accessory for engagements or anniversaries. Roses are out, lemons are in. Billboards that say she won't have sex with you unless you got lemons. You cut De Beers in on it. Limited edition lemon bracelets, yellow diamonds called lemon drops. You get Creator/{{Apple}} to call their new operating system OS-Lemón. A little accent over the 'o'. You charge 40% more for organic lemons, 50% more for conflict-free lemons. You pack the Capitol with lemon lobbyists, you get a Kardashian to suck a lemon wedge in a leaked sex tape. Creator/TimotheeChalamet wears lemon shoes at Cannes. Get a hashtag campaign. Something isn’t "cool" or "tight" or "awesome," no, it's "lemon." "Did you see that movie? Did you see that concert? It was effing lemon.' Music/BillieEilish, "OMG, hashtag... lemon." You get Dr. Oz to recommend four lemons a day and a lemon suppository supplement to get rid of toxins 'cause there’s nothing scarier than toxins. Then you patent the seeds. You write a line of genetic code that makes the lemons look just a little more like tits... and you get a gene patent for the tit-lemon DNA sequence, you cross-pollinate... you get those seeds circulating in the wild, and then you sue the farmer for copyright infringement when that genetic code shows up on their land. Sit back, rake in the millions, and then, when you’re done, and you’ve sold your lem-pire for a few billion dollars, then, and only then, you make some fucking lemonade.

-->'''Roderick:''' When life hands you lemons, make lemonade? No. First you roll out a multi-media campaign to convince people lemons are incredibly scarce, which only works if you stockpile lemons, control the supply, then a media blitz. Lemon is the only way to say “I love you,” the must-have accessory for engagements or anniversaries. Roses are out, lemons are in. Billboards that say she won't have sex with you unless you got lemons. You cut De Beers in on it. Limited edition lemon bracelets, yellow diamonds called lemon drops. You get Creator/{{Apple}} to call their new operating system OS-Lemón. A little accent over the 'o'. You charge 40% more for organic lemons, 50% more for conflict-free lemons. You pack the Capitol with lemon lobbyists, you get a Kardashian to suck a lemon wedge in a leaked sex tape. Creator/TimotheeChalamet wears lemon shoes at Cannes. Get a hashtag campaign. Something isn’t "cool" or "tight" or "awesome," no, it's "lemon." "Did you see that movie? Did you see that concert? It was effing lemon.' Music/BillieEilish, "OMG, hashtag... lemon." You get Dr. Oz to recommend four lemons a day and a lemon suppository supplement to get rid of toxins 'cause there’s nothing scarier than toxins. Then you patent the seeds. You write a line of genetic code that makes the lemons look just a little more like tits... and you get a gene patent for the tit-lemon DNA sequence, you cross-pollinate... you get those seeds circulating in the wild, and then you sue the farmer for copyright infringement when that genetic code shows up on their land. Sit back, rake in the millions, and then, when you’re done, and you’ve sold your lem-pire for a few billion dollars, then, and only then, you make some fucking lemonade.

-->'''Cave Johnson:''' All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade.\\

-->'''Agumon''': "When life gives you lemons, make lemon pie! Hey! I'm hungry!"

--> ''But like I always say, when life hands you a lemon... squirt it in somebody's eye and run like hell.''

-->'''Snuffy''': If life gives ya lemons, make lemonade!! If it gives ya apples, make cider!! punkins? Make pie!! Avacados? Make guacamole!! Cucumbers...
-->'''Jughaid''': Okay, okay, Uncle Snuffy, I get yore drift.

--> '''Apple Pie''': When life gives ya lemons, don't throw 'em back, and [[VideoGame/Portal2 don't try to burn life's house down with a combustible lemon.]] Ya'll be left with nothin' except yer pride, which ya can't eat. Or ya'll be hated by everypony who actually LIKES lemons. And ya'll only get squashed by the skyscraper sized angry mommy-lemon as it falls on ya anyway.

-->'''[=GLaDOS=]''': Life has been giving me lemons... and by letting you go I tried to make lemonade. A simple, sweet answer. Now... now I’m going to take life’s lemons, turn them into combustible lemons, and then burn you alive with them. Just like Cave Johnson would do... now that was a smart human.

--> If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat).

-->'''Hal:''' I always say, when life gives you lemons - make lemonade. You got any lemonade?
-->'''Waiter:''' No, sir.
-->'''Hal:''' ''[disappointed]'' Aww. ''[brightening up]'' Got any lemons?

-->'''Susan''': When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.\\

* In Music/{{Tyler the Creator}}'s song Goblin:
--> Life's a cute bitch full of estrogen. And when she gives you lemons nigga throw them at pedestrians.

--> When life gives you limes, you make margaritas.

--> "Take one pint of water, add a half pound of sugar, the juice of eight lemons, the zest of half lemon. Pour the water into one, then to another several times. Strain through a clean napkin. Grandmother. The alchemist. You spun gold out of this hard life. Conjured beauty from the things left behind. Found healing where it did not live. Discovered the antidote in your own kitchen. Broke the curse with your own two hands."

--> When life gives you lemons, [[LuckManipulationMechanic reroll!]]

--> Reiji! When life gives you {{lemon}}s, you close the bedroom door and read them all!

-->'''"Lemonstein"''': So I discovered that when life gives you lemons... You give those lemons ''[[CreatingLife life]]''!

--> "When life gives you lemons, make portable guillotines that eat the evidence."

-->'''John''': They say when life gives you lemons but... let's just say I wasn't thirsty and [[TheGreys the Greys]] don't have stomachs.

-->'''[[Creator/EgoRaptor Arin]]''': Well, you know, when life gives you lemons...\\
'''[[WebVideo/JonTron Jon]]''': What, Arin? What?\\
'''Arin''': Uh, you kill yourself.

-->'''Foamy''': When life gives you lemons...\\
'''Germaine''': ...rub them in the eyes of your enemies.

--> '''Ron:''' Oh, complain, complain. You know, when life gives you lemons--\\

-->'''Nicole''': What does a winner do when life gives him lemons?!\\
'''Gumball''': Uhh....make lemonade?\\
'''Nicole''': No, he squeezes them right back into life's eyes!

-->'''[[AgentMulder Dipper:]]''' "When life gives you lemons, extract the juice and use it to draw a treasure map in invisible ink. That really works! Seriously!"
-->'''[[CloudCuckoolander Mabel:]]''' "When life gives you lemons, draw faces on those lemons and wrap them in a blanket. Ta-daaa! Now you have Lemon Babies."
-->'''[[TheBarnum Grunkle Stan:]]''' "When life gives you lemons, call them 'yellow oranges' and sell them for double the price."

-->'''Eugene''': (singing) When life gives you lemons, dance! Dance like there's a muskrat in your pants!

--> '''Shaggy''': Well, when life gives you lemons...
--> ''(Cut to them driving away manically on a golf cart)''
--> '''Shaggy''': ...drive those lemons the heck out of here!

* (Don't remember name; blonde woman.) "When life hands you lemons, add tequila, salt, and Triple Sec and make Margaritas."