History Main / ThinksOfSomethingSmartSaysSomethingStupid

'''Mirabelle:''' ''(after hanging on the VisibleSilence for a {{beat}})'' ...I know that?

'''Bart's Brain:''' What the hell!?\\

-->'''Spider-Man's internal monologue:''' Of course... The Punisher... and he's brought a friend. Who's a girl. Don't ''say'' it resist the ''urge'' he'll kill you don't ''don't''--
-->'''Spider-Man:''' So I see you've started ''dating'' again.
-->'''Spider-Man's internal monologue:''' Stupid ''mouth!''

-->'''Twilight (thinking):''' ''I'm sorry Celestia, I should really head back to Ponyville and talk to Mayor Mare about this. Please rectify this situation for me, Luna, as soon as equally possible, as well-intentioned as your gift was. I hope you understand that I refuse it humbly, and not out of malice, as being the overlord of your friends tends to be a bit of a faux pas.''
-->'''Twilight:''' I need to get the buck back to Ponyville and figure this out before they tar my ponyfeathers and lynch me for this!
-->'''Celestia:''' Twilight!
-->'''Twilight:''' ...I just said the in-my-head thing out loud and the out-loud thing in my head, didn't I?

'''Miles:''' (thinking) ''Play dumb.'' (out loud) [[ImplausibleDeniability Who's Morales?]] (thinking) ''Not '''that''' dumb!''

-->'''Angry Dad:''' Get out of my face, old man, before I kick your ass and throw you in that trunk.
-->'''Frank's Inner Monologue:''' ''I gotta think of something tough to say.''
-->'''Frank:''' Nice nips, cupcake.

* In ''{{Series/Friends}}'', when Ross attempts to kiss his attractive cousin after misreading her signals as flirtatious and she angrily demands an explanation, he spends an [[OverlyLongGag agonisingly long time]] trying to first think of something clever to say to relieve the tension, and then to think of anything to say at all. After landing on "I haven't had sex in a really long time" and she storms off in disgust, he reflects that he'd have been better off saying nothing.

--> '''Good Krieg:''' ''(seeing Maya)'' She's a Vault Hunter. A Siren warrior who can kill me with her brain. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Tell her she's as beautiful as a thousand sunsets. Tell her you need her help, tell her to rescue you and care for you, and whatever you do, ''do not scream the word "poop" at the top of your lungs!''\\

* ''WebAnimation/DickFigures'': In one episode where Red switches into Blue's body, he's going to a job interview at a stock market. When he's asked "What are your interpretations of last quarter's stock returns?" He thinks to say "We are undervaluing our fiscal stock remainders", and instead says complete gibberish. His brain decides to give him amnesia as revenge.

--> "No, she's not fourteen! She told me she was..." ''(thinking)'' "Come on, just say any number that isn't fourteen..." ''(speaking)'' "Some other age!"

-->'''Peter:''' (Don't say "doin' your wife". Don't say "doin' your wife". Don't say "doin' your wife".) Doin' your... ''[glances at boss's family photo of himself, his wife and his son]'' ...son?

-->'''Boots' Brain:''' Tell her, man! Tell her her hair looks like Creator/JavierBardem in ''Film/NoCountryForOldMen''! This is your chance, Boots! Don't puss out!
-->'''Boots:''' ''(beat)'' Nope!
-->'''Boots' Brain:''' ''You pussy...''

--->'''Bigger Brothers Employee:''' And what are your reasons for wanting a little brother?
--->'''Homer's Brain:''' Don't say revenge. Don't say revenge.
--->'''Homer:''' Uh... revenge.
--->'''Homer's Brain:''' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere That's it, I'm gettin' out of here.]] [sounds of walking away, followed by a door slamming]

--->'''Homer's Brain:''' O, Glory of Glories. O, heavenly testament to the eternal majesty of God's Creation.
--->'''Homer:''' Holy macaroni!

--->'''Bart's Brain:''' All right, time to show this naive young veteran what happens when you call on Bart Simpson.
--->'''Bart:''' Ma'am, my name is Bart, and I am glad to have you as my teacher.
--->'''Bart's Brain:''' What the hell!?

--->'''Laura Powers:''' Hey, kid, wake up.
--->'''Bart:''' Who are you?
--->'''Laura Powers:''' I'm Laura, your new neighbor. You all right?
--->'''Bart's Brain:''' She's beautiful. Say something clever.
--->'''Bart:''' I fell on my bottom.
--->'''Bart's Brain:''' D'oh!

'''Homer''': My name is Mr. Burns. \\