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[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
* ''TabletopGame/WarhammerFantasy'': Part of the code of the Herrimaults (Myth/RobinHood-esque men living in the forests of Bretonnia) is that you don't ask why they took to the outlaw life and they don't ask you.
-->Ask no questions of your fellows' pasts. Every Herrimault has his reasons for fighting and should be judged on his actions now.
[[/folder]]
* ''TabletopGame/WarhammerFantasy'': Part of the code of the Herrimaults (Myth/RobinHood-esque men living in the forests of Bretonnia) is that you don't ask why they took to the outlaw life and they don't ask you.
-->Ask no questions of your fellows' pasts. Every Herrimault has his reasons for fighting and should be judged on his actions now.
[[/folder]]
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* ''Series/FellowTravelers'': Hawkins Fuller doesn't speak about his family to his friends on Fire Island, and he's especially secretive about the passing of his son Jackson.
-->'''Tim Laughlin''': Does he ever talk about Jackson?\\
'''Craig''': Who?\\
'''Tim''': His son.\\
'''Craig''': Hawk doesn't talk about his family. I think he keeps some photos somewhere.\\
'''Tim''': Jackson died about six months ago. Heroin overdose. You didn't know?\\
'''Craig''': [[BlatantLies Of course I knew.]]
-->'''Tim Laughlin''': Does he ever talk about Jackson?\\
'''Craig''': Who?\\
'''Tim''': His son.\\
'''Craig''': Hawk doesn't talk about his family. I think he keeps some photos somewhere.\\
'''Tim''': Jackson died about six months ago. Heroin overdose. You didn't know?\\
'''Craig''': [[BlatantLies Of course I knew.]]
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* In ''ItWebOriginal/DinaMarino'' this is the defining trait of Gideon. The other characters know virtually nothing about his past as he avoids at all costs talking about it.
**In the second episode, he didn't tell Dina [[spoiler: that Anne is his ex girlfriend]] until she found out herself and they had an argument about it.
**In the fourth episode, it's revealed that his brother [[spoiler: is associated with right wing extremists and child trafficking]]. Of course he tells his side of the story only after the others have found out by themselves.
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* ''Manga/The100GirlfriendsWhoReallyReallyReallyReallyReallyLoveYou'': Miss Naddy tends to be the most sensitive to this concept, due to her own {{Eagleland}} persona being centered around rejecting and hiding her own upbringing. In chapter 71 when she sees Chiyo is bothered by something, Naddy tells her it's okay to keep to herself if she prefers, but also assures Chiyo she's there to hear her out and respects Chiyo's wishes to not involve the rest of Rentaro's Family after they've talked. In chapter 144, Naddy is the one who discourages further conversation when it's clear Karane is reluctant to speak about her family.
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* ''Fanfic/TheWeavingForce'': Taylor and Dennis, both having lived through Golden Morning, really don't want to talk about their experiences. Dennis decides to throw himself into his new life of being a slave liberator to cope. Taylor is a little more extreme, not even talking for years [[spoiler: while she tries to convince herself that Skitter and Khepri are implanted memories, not herself.]]
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* ''Fanfic/AllMixedUp'': Odd Squad has a "don't ask, don't tell" policy regarding agents' parents. Agents can't ask other agents about their parents, nor are they allowed to tell other agents about their own parents. Because of this policy, Otto, despite being close friends and work partners with Olive, is unaware of her life at home, and doesn't know what her parents are like, either [[InvisibleParents (if she even has parents, that is)]]. It's unknown why this policy is in place, but it's possible it may have something to do with [[KidsVersusAdults Odd Squad's dislike of adults.]]
** ''[[Fanfic/PatternsOfThePast Patterns of the Past]]'' continues on this policy, with Oprah not being used to the now-retired Olesya talking so freely about her life before joining Odd Squad. As such, she's horrified to learn that her parents died when she was young and shortly before she joined the organization.
** ''[[Fanfic/PatternsOfThePast Patterns of the Past]]'' continues on this policy, with Oprah not being used to the now-retired Olesya talking so freely about her life before joining Odd Squad. As such, she's horrified to learn that her parents died when she was young and shortly before she joined the organization.
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* ''Fanfic/ButYouGottaGetUpAtLeastOnceMore'': After finally confronting Bakugou about his bullying, Izuku needs time to process what happened. Unfortunately, Ochako isn't willing to give him that time or space, driven by a desire to find out exactly what happened between them out of the belief that knowledge could help her fix matters. This refusal to be LockedOutOfTheLoop ultimately hurts far more than it helps.
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* ''Fanfic/ButYouGottaGetUpAtLeastOnceMore'': After finally confronting Bakugou about his bullying, {{Barbaric Bully}}ing, Izuku needs time to process what happened. Unfortunately, Ochako isn't willing to give him that time or space, driven by a desire to find out exactly ''exactly'' what happened between them out of the belief that knowledge could help her fix matters. This refusal to be LockedOutOfTheLoop ultimately hurts far more than it helps.helps, especially when [[spoiler:her immediate reaction when Izuku tells her the truth is to accuse him of lying, as she doesn't want to believe her classmate was that cruel]].
* ''Fanfic/OpeningTheBox'': Usopp gets into an argument with Sanji over the latter's refusal to accept that he really, ''really'' doesn't want to talk about his severe self-esteem issues.
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* ''Fanfic/AllMixedUp'': Odd Squad has a "don't ask, don't tell" policy regarding agents' parents. Agents can't ask other agents about their parents, nor are they allowed to tell other agents about their own parents. Because of this policy, Otto, despite being close friends and work partners with Olive, is unaware of her life at home, and doesn't know what her parents are like, either [[InvisibleParents (if she even has parents, that is)]]. It's unknown why this policy is in place, but it's possible it may have something to do with [[KidsVersusAdults Odd Squad's dislike of adults.]]
** ''[[Fanfic/PatternsOfThePast Patterns of the Past]]'' continues on this policy, with Oprah not being used to the now-retired Olesya talking so freely about her life before joining Odd Squad. As such, she's horrified to learn that her parents died when she was young and shortly before she joined the organization.
** ''[[Fanfic/PatternsOfThePast Patterns of the Past]]'' continues on this policy, with Oprah not being used to the now-retired Olesya talking so freely about her life before joining Odd Squad. As such, she's horrified to learn that her parents died when she was young and shortly before she joined the organization.
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* ''Fanfic/AllMixedUp'': Odd Squad has a "don't ask, don't tell" policy regarding agents' parents. Agents can't ask other agents ''Fanfic/AnUnlikelySortOfParadise'': Customer Service is ''very'' reluctant to open up to any of the residents of Dreamland, though they keep trying to get him to talk about their parents, nor are his various issues.
* ''Fanfic/{{What Goes Around Comes Around|MiraculousLadybug}}'': After Marinette is [[TheUnmasking publicly revealed as Ladybug]] while defeating Hawkmoth, she gets interviewed by Nadja on Face-to-Face. Nadja reveals that [[MisplacedKindergartenTeacher Ms. Bustier]] wrote to her attesting that she was a "model student", and that she expected her to forgive [[SpoiledBrat Chloe]] and [[BitchInSheepsClothing Lila]] for how theyallowed treated her. When Nadja presses for more information, Marinette refuses to tell other agents about their own parents. Because of this policy, Otto, despite being close friends and work partners with Olive, is unaware of speak any further on the matter, stating that she's not comfortable airing out her life at home, and personal issues in such a fashion.
* ''Fanfic/WolfInTheStreetsSardineInTheSheets'': Fenrich doesn'tknow what particularly enjoy discussing any aspects of his past. After discussing [[SonOfAWhore his mother]] with Valvatorez briefly, he gets ''very upset'' when Valatorez brings her parents are like, either [[InvisibleParents (if she even has parents, up again later, seeing that is)]]. It's unknown why this policy is in place, but it's possible it may have something to do with [[KidsVersusAdults Odd Squad's dislike as a betrayal of adults.]]
** ''[[Fanfic/PatternsOfThePast Patterns of the Past]]'' continues on this policy, with Oprah not being used to the now-retired Olesya talking so freely about her life before joining Odd Squad. As such, she's horrified to learn that her parents died when she was young and shortly before she joined the organization.his confidence.
* ''Fanfic/{{What Goes Around Comes Around|MiraculousLadybug}}'': After Marinette is [[TheUnmasking publicly revealed as Ladybug]] while defeating Hawkmoth, she gets interviewed by Nadja on Face-to-Face. Nadja reveals that [[MisplacedKindergartenTeacher Ms. Bustier]] wrote to her attesting that she was a "model student", and that she expected her to forgive [[SpoiledBrat Chloe]] and [[BitchInSheepsClothing Lila]] for how they
* ''Fanfic/WolfInTheStreetsSardineInTheSheets'': Fenrich doesn't
** ''[[Fanfic/PatternsOfThePast Patterns of the Past]]'' continues on this policy, with Oprah not being used to the now-retired Olesya talking so freely about her life before joining Odd Squad. As such, she's horrified to learn that her parents died when she was young and shortly before she joined the organization.
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* Anaak from ''Webcomic/TowerOfGod'' keeps it a secret that [[spoiler: her mother was a Princess of Jahad who eloped with a man and her parents were assassinated for that reason]]. [[MagnificentBastard Khun]] finds out and only indicates that Anaak has some issues. [[TeamDad Shibisu]] tells her it's alright to keep those secrets with her.
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* Anaak from ''Webcomic/TowerOfGod'' keeps it a secret that [[spoiler: her [[spoiler:her mother was a Princess of Jahad who eloped with a man and her parents were assassinated for that reason]]. [[MagnificentBastard Khun]] finds out and only indicates that Anaak has some issues. [[TeamDad Shibisu]] tells her it's alright to keep those secrets with her.
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* ''VideoGame/WildArms1'': At the end of the Demon Lab, it is revealed that [[spoiler: Lady Harken is Jack's former friend (and possible lover) Elmina, who he had to leave behind during the demon attack on Arctica. Rudy, Cecilia and Hanpan comfort him but don't pry into what's wrong, allowing him to tell them later on his own terms.]]
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* ''VideoGame/WildArms1'': At the end of the Demon Lab, it is revealed that [[spoiler: Lady [[spoiler:Lady Harken is Jack's former friend (and possible lover) Elmina, who he had to leave behind during the demon attack on Arctica. Rudy, Cecilia and Hanpan comfort him but don't pry into what's wrong, allowing him to tell them later on his own terms.]]terms]].
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* ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'': When Agatha runs into a travelling circus, everyone is quick to accept that she is keeping a secret and that she's on the run from someone. When she lets slip that she's on the run from Baron Wulfenbach, however, they are quick to part ways with her as they know standing up to him is suicide. Then she risks her life to save them from a [[AIIsACrapshoot wild Clank]], [[IOweYouMyLife and they promptly fake her death so the Baron can't find her]], still choosing not to ask her questions at this time. When they finally learn that Agatha is in truth a Heterodyne, they quickly understand why she was being so secretive and why the Baron is so desperate to capture her (not that this stops them from rescuing her).
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* ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'': When Agatha runs into a travelling circus, everyone is quick to accept that she is keeping a secret and that she's on the run from someone. When she lets slip that she's on the run from Baron Wulfenbach, however, they are quick to part ways with her as they know standing up to him is suicide. Then she risks her life to save them from a [[AIIsACrapshoot wild Clank]], [[IOweYouMyLife [[FakingTheDead and they promptly fake her death so the Baron can't find her]], still choosing not to ask her questions at this time. When they finally learn that Agatha is in truth a Heterodyne, they quickly understand why she was being so secretive and why the Baron is so desperate to capture her (not that this stops them from rescuing her).
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* ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'': When Agatha runs into a travelling circus, everyone is quick to accept that she is keeping a secret and that she's on the run from someone. When she lets slip that she's on the run from Baron Wulfenbach, however, they are quick to part ways with her as they know standing up to him is suicide. Then she risks her life to save them from a [[AIIsACrapshoot wild Clank]], and they promptly fake her death so the Baron can't find her, still choosing not to ask her questions at this time. When they finally learn that Agatha is in truth a Heterodyne, they quickly understand why she was being so secretive and why the Baron is so desperate to capture her (not that this stops them from rescuing her).
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* ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'': When Agatha runs into a travelling circus, everyone is quick to accept that she is keeping a secret and that she's on the run from someone. When she lets slip that she's on the run from Baron Wulfenbach, however, they are quick to part ways with her as they know standing up to him is suicide. Then she risks her life to save them from a [[AIIsACrapshoot wild Clank]], [[IOweYouMyLife and they promptly fake her death so the Baron can't find her, her]], still choosing not to ask her questions at this time. When they finally learn that Agatha is in truth a Heterodyne, they quickly understand why she was being so secretive and why the Baron is so desperate to capture her (not that this stops them from rescuing her).
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* ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'': When Agatha runs into a travelling circus, everyone is quick to accept that she is keeping a secret and that she's on the run from someone. When she lets slip that she's on the run from Baron Wulfenbach, however, they are quick to part ways with her as they know standing up to him is suicide. Then she risks her life to save them from a [[AIIsACrapshoot wild Clank]], and they promptly fake her death so the Baron can't find her, still choosing not to ask her questions at this time. When they finally learn that Agatha is in truth a Heterodyne, they quickly understand why she was being so secretive and why the Baron is so desperate to capture her (not that this stops them from rescuing her).
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* ''VideoGame/WildArms1'': At the end of the Demon Lab, it is revealed that [[spoiler: Lady Harken is Jack's former friend (and possible lover) Elmina, who he had to leave behind during the demon attack on Arctica. Rudy, Cecilia and Hanpan comfort him but don't pry into what's wrong, allowing him to tell them later on his own terms.]]
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* In ''Literature/RedeemingLove''--set in the Old West during the Gold Rush--once she's reformed and in love with Michael, Angel refuses to tell anyone about her past career as a prostitute. She deliberately dances around the subject when they meet their new neighbors, or when she acquires a job as a cook. They know she's hiding something, but are mostly kind enough not to press her too hard. [[spoiler: it eventually turns out that almost all of the people she deliberately hid it from found out at some point along the way and never held it against her.]]
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* In ''Literature/RedeemingLove''--set in the Old West during the Gold Rush--once she's reformed and in love with Michael, Angel refuses to tell anyone about her past career as a prostitute. She deliberately dances around the subject when they meet their new neighbors, or when she acquires a job as a cook. They know she's hiding something, but are mostly kind enough not to press her too hard. [[spoiler: it [[spoiler:It eventually turns out that almost all of the people she deliberately hid it from found out at some point along the way and never held it against her.]]
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* ''LightNovel/AscendanceOfABookworm'': This gets defied. When Myne is so worried about a conflict between her best friend Lutz and his parents that it distracts her from helping her mentor Ferdinand do his paperwork, Ferdinand decides it's his business and helps Myne figure out a possible solution.
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* ''LightNovel/AscendanceOfABookworm'': ''Literature/AscendanceOfABookworm'': This gets defied. When Myne is so worried about a conflict between her best friend Lutz and his parents that it distracts her from helping her mentor Ferdinand do his paperwork, Ferdinand decides it's his business and helps Myne figure out a possible solution.
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* In ''{{Manga/Bleach}}'', when Ichigo finally learns that his father is a Shinigami, he quickly figures that Isshin must've had a damn good reason for not telling him, and agrees to wait until he is ready to tell him the truth (that they're in the middle of fighting Aizen also helps). When we finally learn why, it turns out Ichigo was right, since it ties in to the real reason behind [[spoiler:the death of his mother, Masaki]].
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[[folder:Podcasts]]
* ''Podcast/TheMagnusArchives'': Martin presents himself as the sweet and slightly awkward assistant to all of his coworkers, but he has a lot of problems in his personal life that he keeps from them. He lies about his relationship with his mother to Jon when confronted, saying that it's difficult but he takes care of her, when in reality she emotionally abused him throughout his childhood and now as an adult wants nothing to do with him but still relies on him to pay for her nursing home and medical expenses. In addition, throughout season 4 Martin keeps the fact that he's working on ways to stop the Extinction and slowly becoming a servant of the Lonely from the rest of the institute by isolating himself from them.
[[/folder]]
* ''Podcast/TheMagnusArchives'': Martin presents himself as the sweet and slightly awkward assistant to all of his coworkers, but he has a lot of problems in his personal life that he keeps from them. He lies about his relationship with his mother to Jon when confronted, saying that it's difficult but he takes care of her, when in reality she emotionally abused him throughout his childhood and now as an adult wants nothing to do with him but still relies on him to pay for her nursing home and medical expenses. In addition, throughout season 4 Martin keeps the fact that he's working on ways to stop the Extinction and slowly becoming a servant of the Lonely from the rest of the institute by isolating himself from them.
[[/folder]]
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* In ''VisualNovel/LongLiveTheQueen'', an event may have Arisse begin to mention what event it was that traumatized one of her younger sons so much, but she quickly stops herself and makes it clear to Elodie that she has no right to interrogate Arisse ''or'' her son about said event, and that if her son wants Elodie to know about it, he will come to her and bring the matter up himself. Justified, as the event itself didn't affect Arisse in the long run and no right to talk about her son's troubles without his consent. This includes that talking about the event that traumatized her younger son [[spoiler:will also lay open the trauma that her older son, Kevan, has gone through]].
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See also ThereAreNoTherapists.
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See also ThereAreNoTherapists. Compare and contrast to SomberBackstoryRevelation.
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* ''Manga/WelcomeToDemonSchoolIrumaKun'':
** This is the personal philosophy of Amaryllis Asmodeus, Lord of Lust and one of the strongest demons in the series. Her son, Alice, is best friends with the titular Iruma. Iruma, having been sold to an elder demon by his greedy, abusive, bastard parents and that demon raising him as a beloved grandson, keeps the fact he is human from most everyone. This is because some demons might try to eat him because of the belief doing so will make them stronger. Iruma is keeping hidden him being human from Alice and another friend Clara. While at Alice's house, Iruma worries about keeping this secret still from them after so many months together with his friends. Amaryllis only overhears that he has a secret and helps calm him by stating having secrets doesn't mean the relationship is weak. There are sometimes things which are fine to be kept secret even between lovers. Iruma takes this to heart and understands.
** Iruma repeats this concept later when Alice admits to having a secret, namely [[spoiler:that fire magic isn't his bloodline power but he is uncomfortable telling Iruma his true ability]]. Iruma sees the distress on Alice's face and assures him it's okay. After all, Iruma notes he has a few secrets he is keeping and guesses their friend Clara has her own. This doesn't mean they aren't close friends because they don't tell each other everything.
** This is the personal philosophy of Amaryllis Asmodeus, Lord of Lust and one of the strongest demons in the series. Her son, Alice, is best friends with the titular Iruma. Iruma, having been sold to an elder demon by his greedy, abusive, bastard parents and that demon raising him as a beloved grandson, keeps the fact he is human from most everyone. This is because some demons might try to eat him because of the belief doing so will make them stronger. Iruma is keeping hidden him being human from Alice and another friend Clara. While at Alice's house, Iruma worries about keeping this secret still from them after so many months together with his friends. Amaryllis only overhears that he has a secret and helps calm him by stating having secrets doesn't mean the relationship is weak. There are sometimes things which are fine to be kept secret even between lovers. Iruma takes this to heart and understands.
** Iruma repeats this concept later when Alice admits to having a secret, namely [[spoiler:that fire magic isn't his bloodline power but he is uncomfortable telling Iruma his true ability]]. Iruma sees the distress on Alice's face and assures him it's okay. After all, Iruma notes he has a few secrets he is keeping and guesses their friend Clara has her own. This doesn't mean they aren't close friends because they don't tell each other everything.
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** ''[[Fanfic/PatternsOfThePast Patterns of the Past]]'' continues on this policy, with Oprah not being used to the now-retired Olesya talking so freely about her life before joining Odd Squad. As such, she's horrified to learn that her parents died when she was young and shortly before she joined the organization.
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* ''Fanfic/AllMixedUp'': Odd Squad has a "don't ask, don't tell" policy regarding agents' living situations. Agents can't ask other agents about their home lives, nor are they allowed to tell other agents about their own home lives. Because of this policy, Otto, despite being close friends and work partners with Olive, is unaware of her life at home, and doesn't know what her parents are like, either [[InvisibleParents (if she even has parents, that is)]].
to:
* ''Fanfic/AllMixedUp'': Odd Squad has a "don't ask, don't tell" policy regarding agents' living situations. parents. Agents can't ask other agents about their home lives, parents, nor are they allowed to tell other agents about their own home lives.parents. Because of this policy, Otto, despite being close friends and work partners with Olive, is unaware of her life at home, and doesn't know what her parents are like, either [[InvisibleParents (if she even has parents, that is)]]. It's unknown why this policy is in place, but it's possible it may have something to do with [[KidsVersusAdults Odd Squad's dislike of adults.]]
