History Main / TheAristocrats

* ''TabletopGame/MagicTheGathering'' has a popular deck archetype nicknamed "The Aristocrats", which focuses on sacrificing many small creatures for some benefit, usually draining life from opponent. The original version simply took its name from two key cards in the deck, [[https://scryfall.com/card/mm3/163/falkenrath-aristocrat Falkenrath Aristocrat]] and [[https://scryfall.com/card/gtc/150/cartel-aristocrat Cartel Aristocrat]], but between the gameplay of deck, flavour of these cards and inclusion of [[https://scryfall.com/card/c18/120/blasphemous-act Blasphemous Act]] as a finisher, the joke basically wrote itself during every game.

->''"This family walks into a talent agency..."''

* ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'': When Abraham Van Helsing confronts [[{{Dracula}} Alucard]] about his [[KillEmAll many]], ''[[ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice many]]'' [[ComedicSociopath atrocities]], Alucard responds with this. Doctor Van Helsing is not amused and then proceeds to ram his stake through Alucard's chest.

** At one point in the major MindScrew that is [[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-3999 SCP-3999's]] article, a version of this is given as the containment procedure for [[RealityWarper SCP-3999]], one of many nonsensical procedures listed. Rather than being offensive, it's recursive; characters play each other acting out the introduction to the joke, going deeper and deeper until SCP-3999 seems to force the chain to adruptly stop.

* "1-Series/AdamTwelve, [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome see the talent agent at 9690 Wilshire Boulevard. Two-six-one suspects there now]]."

* ClusterFBomb: Given the amount of depravity inherent in the body of the joke, this is to be expected. Creator/GilbertGottfried, however, takes it UpToEleven, as he does with most of his material.

* ''TabletopGame/BattleTech'': Tthe joke that lead to shock artist Belasz Nagy's death at the hands of a lynch mob in 3072 is ''heavily'' implied to be this.

In the past, the joke served as a form of satire about the upper class, but [[SeinfeldIsUnfunny that take doesn't really apply these days]]; in modern times, it's not particularly funny as a joke anymore (since it's essentially a ShaggyDogStory with a weak bit of irony as the punchline). The real point of the joke these days involves the description of the act itself: anyone who tells the joke must [[CrossesTheLineTwice cross the line as many times]] and in as many directions as humanly possible. Most comedians traditionally invent the act on the spot as they tell the joke, which turns it into an improv comedy exercise. Standard ingredients for the description of the act include [[IncestIsRelative incest]], [[PaedoHunt paedophilia]], [[BlackComedyRape rape]], [[DeathAsComedy death]] ([[BloodyHilarious the messier the better]]), [[ColdBloodedTorture torture]], [[ILoveTheDead necrophilia]], coprophilia, and urophilia[[note]]Getting turned on by shit and piss, respectively[[/note]], bodily fluids, [[BestialityIsDepraved bestiality]], and pretty much every vile sex act and fetish one can think of — and every horrific act of violence, depravity, and otherwise immoral human behavior that nobody ''wants'' to think of. Extra-risqué versions will also try to work in offensive political themes on top of everything, such as racism, blasphemy, sexism, homophobia, etc. (like the family insisting on including {{blackface}} and minstrel songs into the act).

In the past, the joke served as a form of satire about the upper class, but [[SeinfeldIsUnfunny that take doesn't really apply these days]]; in modern times, it's not particularly funny as a joke anymore (since it's essentially a ShaggyDogStory with a weak bit of irony as the punchline). The real point of the joke these days involves the description of the act itself: anyone who tells the joke must [[CrossesTheLineTwice cross the line as many times]] and in as many directions as humanly possible. Most comedians traditionally invent the act on the spot as they tell the joke, which turns it into an improv comedy exercise. Standard ingredients for the description of the act include [[IncestIsRelative incest]], [[PaedoHunt paedophilia]], [[BlackComedyRape rape]], [[DeathAsComedy death]] ([[BloodyHilarious the messier the better]]), [[ColdBloodedTorture torture]], [[ILoveTheDead necrophilia]], coprophilia and urophilia [[note]]Getting turned on by shit and piss, respectively[[/note]], bodily fluids, [[BestialityIsDepraved bestiality]], and pretty much every vile sex act and fetish one can think of — and every horrific act of violence, depravity, and otherwise immoral human behavior that nobody ''wants'' to think of. Extra-risqué versions will also try to work in offensive political themes on top of everything, such as racism, blasphemy, sexism, homophobia, etc. (like the family insisting on including {{blackface}} and minstrel songs into the act).

Do not confuse with ''[[WesternAnimation/TheAristocats The Aristo]]'''[[WesternAnimation/TheAristocats cats]]'''''. [[note]]Humorously enough, the documentary has a segment in which comedians discuss [[FreudianSlip making that mistake]].[[/note]]

* In one episode of ''Series/TheOddCouple'', on a ShowWithinAShow Oscar is hosting, he announces an act called the Aristocrats, but we never actually see the act.

In the past, the joke served as a form of satire about the upper class, but [[SeinfeldIsUnfunny that take doesn't really apply these days]]; in modern times, it's not particularly funny as a joke anymore (since it's essentially a ShaggyDogStory with a weak bit of irony as the punchline). The real point of the joke these days involves the description of the act itself: anyone who tells the joke must [[CrossesTheLineTwice cross the line as many times]] and in as many directions as humanly possible. Most comedians traditionally invent the act on the spot as they tell the joke, which turns it into an improv comedy exercise. Standard ingredients for the description of the act include [[IncestIsRelative incest]], [[PaedoHunt paedophilia]], [[BlackComedyRape rape]], death ([[BloodyHilarious the messier the better]]), torture, [[ILoveTheDead necrophilia]], coprophilia and urophilia [[note]]Getting turned on by shit and piss, respectively[[/note]], bodily fluids, [[BestialityIsDepraved bestiality]], and pretty much every vile sex act and fetish one can think of -- and every horrific act of violence, depravity, and otherwise immoral human behavior that nobody ''wants'' to think of. Extra risqué versions will also try to work in offensive political themes on top of everything, such as racism, blasphemy, sexism, homophobia, etc. (like the family insisting on including {{blackface}} and minstrel songs into the act).

--->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Seriously, what woman -- especially seeing her daughter get eaten -- would take the time to raise her arms in the air and throw them down? You do that while telling a joke: "The Aristocrats"!

* Oancitizen of ''WebVideo/BrowsHeldHigh'' (quoting Phil Buni of ''WebVideo/TheBunnyPerspective'') compares the content of ''Film/ASerbianFilm'' to this joke. Instead of the usual punchline he delivers a very stern [[TrueArt "Art!"]]. ''*[[{{Beat}} beat]], [[TheStinger finger snap]]*''

* "1-Series/AdamTwelve, [[RealityEnsues see the talent agent at 9690 Wilshire Boulevard. Two-six-one suspects there now]]."

->''"A man walks into a talent agency..."''

* ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'': When Abraham Van Hellsing confronts [[{{Dracula}} Alucard]] about his [[KillEmAll many]], ''[[ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice many]]'' [[ComedicSociopath atrocities]], Alucard responds with this. Sir Hellsing is not amused and then proceeds to ram his stake through Alucard's chest.
-->'''Sir Hellsing:''' ''Vampire King''... You lay upon the blood soaked death of your ruined land, castles plundered, dominions in ruin, servants destroyed, all to end the hellfire with which you sought to cover the world. A bloody conquest having consumed ''hundreds of thousands'', countless villages ''razed'' to the ground, '''and over twenty thousand impaled and prostrated by you and you alone, to strike horror into the hearts of mortal men!''' WHAT SAY YOU!? ''MONSTER! DEMON! DEVIL'' CONCEIVED BY THE BLEAKEST WOMB! WHAT SAY YOU ''NOW''!?\\

'''Sir Hellsing:''' Grrrrr! ''(stakes Alucard)''

* SocialServicesDoesNotExist: As pointed out by GilbertGottfried in the film about it, realistically, family services and the police would've been called the second the act started happening.

* A Website/SomethingAwful Photoshop Phriday [[http://i.somethingawful.com/u/garbageday/2011/Photoshop_Phriday/moviemixup/zeVoguee_01.jpg did the same joke.]]

In the past, the joke served as a form of satire about the upper class, but [[SeinfeldIsUnfunny that take doesn't really apply these days]]; in modern times, it's not particularly funny as a joke anymore (since it's essentially a ShaggyDogStory with a weak bit of irony as the punchline). The real point of the joke these days involves the description of the act itself: anyone who tells the joke must [[CrossesTheLineTwice cross the line as many times]] and in as many directions as humanly possible. Most comedians traditionally invent the act on the spot as they tell the joke, which turns it into an improv comedy exercise. Standard ingredients for the description of the act include [[IncestIsRelative incest]], [[PaedoHunt paedophilia]], [[BlackComedyRape rape]], death (the messier the better), torture, [[ILoveTheDead necrophilia]], coprophilia and urophilia [[note]]Getting turned on by shit and piss, respectively[[/note]], bodily fluids, [[BestialityIsDepraved bestiality]], and pretty much every vile sex act and fetish one can think of -- and every horrific act of violence, depravity, and otherwise immoral human behavior that nobody ''wants'' to think of. Extra risqué versions will also try to work in offensive political themes on top of everything, such as racism, blasphemy, sexism, homophobia, etc. (like the family insisting on including {{blackface}} and minstrel songs into the act).

In the past, the joke served as a form of satire about the upper class, but [[SeinfeldIsUnfunny that take doesn't really apply these days]]; in modern times, it's not particularly funny as a joke anymore (since it's essentially a ShaggyDogStory with a weak bit of irony as the punchline). The real point of the joke these days involves the description of the act itself: anyone who tells the joke must [[CrossesTheLineTwice cross the line as many times]] and in as many directions as humanly possible. Most comedians traditionally invent the act on the spot as they tell the joke, which turns it into an improv comedy exercise. Standard ingredients for the description of the act include [[IncestIsRelative incest]], [[PaedoHunt paedophilia]], [[BlackComedyRape rape]], death, [[ILoveTheDead necrophilia]], coprophilia and urophilia [[note]]Getting turned on by shit and piss, respectively[[/note]], bodily fluids, [[BestialityIsDepraved bestiality]], and pretty much every vile sex act and fetish one can think of -- and every horrific act of violence, depravity, and otherwise immoral human behavior that nobody ''wants'' to think of. Extra risqué versions will also try to work in offensive political themes on top of everything, such as racism, blasphemy, sexism, homophobia, etc. (like the family insisting on including {{blackface}} and minstrel songs into the act).

* CrossesTheLineTwice: Invoked.

** Notably Creator/GilbertGottfried's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGA0dIz9-Wk version from the Roast of Hugh Hefner]], which he'd done to ''recover'' from a TooSoon joke about "Miss[ing his] connecting flight at the World Trade Center". During the bit, after describing all manner of vile things, he finally draws the line [[spoiler:[[FelonyMisdemeanor at sweat involved in the act]]]]. He also briefly pauses to point out that [[FridgeLogic the talent agent is doing nothing to stop any of this]].

* At one point in the major MindScrew that is [[Wiki/SCPFoundation SCP-]][[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-3999 3999's]] article, a version of this is given as the containment procedure for [[RealityWarper SCP-3999]], one of many nonsensical procedures listed. Rather than being offensive, it's recursive; characters play each other acting out the introduction to the joke, going deeper and deeper until SPC-3999 seems to force the chain to adruptly stop.