History Main / TalksLikeASimile

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* The mysterious Dimentio in ''VideoGame/SuperPaperMario''. See the page quote.
** IntentionalEngrishForFunny-spewing Fawful in the handheld ''VideoGame/MarioAndLuigi'' games does it as well.

* Kyon of ''LightNovel/HaruhiSuzumiya''. As per his LittleProfessorDialogue nature as a narrator, and the ViewersAreGeniuses nature of the series, it's up to the audience to decide how effective these comparisons ''actually'' are to paint a meaningful enough picture.

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--> '''Kyon''': Asking for permission to film is a foreign concept to Haruhi. In her mind, she was free to shoot whatever and wherever she wanted; but then, her notion of what "free" actually was was similar to the domination of the Papacy during the age of Pope Innocent III. [[FauxlosophicNarration ...Or something.]]

-->'''Hallie''': (''regarding Doc's baby toy [=CeCe=]'') [=CeCe=]'s sleeping sounder than a snail on a Sunday.

** "Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think."

* Creator/GrahamGreene would do this with abstract concepts. "The small pricked-out plants irritated him like ignorance."

** DIO does this all the time in [[Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventureStardustCrusaders Part 3]]: he compares Jotaro's UnflinchingWalk to a student rushing to meet deadlines, and asks a cashier to bring him his leg "like a stewardess serving champagne and caviar to a passenger in first class". [[IronicEcho Jotaro throws back in his face during the climax]][[spoiler:, comparing being able to perceive frozen time while unable to move like being pulled underwater right before you come up to the surface for a breath.]]
** One of President Valentine's henchmen from ''Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventureSteelBallRun'' repeats the phrase "docile like a winter catfish" or some minor variation of it ''five times'' in the single chapter he's in, making him one of the most memorable minor characters in the part.

* Sonty Mick from ''Webcomic/UnwindersTallComics'', a parody of over-the-top CausticCritics, is very fond of this.

* One of President Valentine's henchmen from ''Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventureSteelBallRun'' repeats the phrase "docile like a winter catfish" or some minor variation of it ''five times'' in the single chapter he's in, making him one of the most memorable minor characters in the part.

* Kyon of ''LightNovel/HaruhiSuzumiya''. As per his LittleProfessorDialogue nature as a narrator, and the ViewersAreGeniuses nature of the series, it's up to the audience to decide how effective these comparisons ''actually'' are to paint a meaningful enough picture.
--> '''Kyon''': Asking for permission to film is a foreign concept to Haruhi. In her mind, she was free to shoot whatever and wherever she wanted; but then, her notion of what "free" actually was was similar to the domination of the Papacy during the age of Pope Innocent III. [[FauxlosophicNarration ...Or something.]]

* Along similar lines, Applejack from ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic''.
* [[EverythingIsBigInTexas Sandy Cheeks]] from ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants''. It comes standard with her stereotypical {{Deep South}}ern drawl.

* Creator/PGWodehouse definitely deserves a place here, as both Creator/DouglasAdams and Creator/StephenFry, who are both very adroit users of this trope, took their props from him.

* One of President Valentine's henchmen from [[Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventure Steel Ball Run]] repeats the phrase "docile like a winter catfish" or some minor variation of it ''five times'' in the single chapter he's in, making him one of the most memorable minor characters in the part.

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* Beret Girl in ''WesternAnimation/AnExtremelyGoofyMovie'', introduced by performing a poem containing a series of similes for life, uses metaphors liberally in her common speech as well.

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* Creator/TerryPratchett's [[LemonyNarrator narration]]. ''[[SignatureStyle Always]]''. But especially in Literature/{{Discworld}}.

* Eddie Valiant in ''Literature/WhoCensoredRogerRabbit?'' by [[Creator/GaryWolf Gary K. Wolf]]. This quality did not carry over into [[Film/WhoFramedRogerRabbit the movie.]]
* Eilonwy of ''Literature/TheChroniclesOfPrydain'' seasons this with a heavy dash of CloudCuckoolander.
-->"It's silly to worry because you can't do something you simply can't do. That's worse than trying to make yourself taller by standing on your head."
* Literature/PhilipMarlowe, TropeCodifier for the PrivateEyeMonologue. (Creator/RaymondChandler's other less famous detectives all do it too; he developed his style when he was writing for the magazines and being paid by the word.) Here's Marlowe giving his first impression of Moose Malloy in ''Literature/FarewellMyLovely'':
-->''He was looking up at the dusty windows with a sort of ecstatic fixity of expression, like a hunky immigrant catching his first sight of the Statue of Liberty. He was a big man but not more than six feet five inches tall and not wider than a beer truck.'' [...] ''Even on Central Avenue, not the quietest dressed street in the world, he looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food.''
** In ''Literature/TheLongGoodbye'', Chandler gets in a bit of self-deprecation, with alcoholic novelist Roger Wade complaining in the course of a drunken rant that writers these days (himself included) use the device too much.

* The narrator of Matthew F. Jones' novel ''The Cooter Farm'' includes at least one simile in almost every paragraph.

* Creator/{{Homer}} is noted for [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homeric_simile long similes]] that go on for several lines.
* Also a frequent thing in ancient Celtic epics.
* ''Literature/MemoirsOfAGeisha'' is full of these, to the point of distraction at times. The main character's entire motive throughout most of the plot is to get with this one guy, and nearly at the end, when she thinks she's lost her chance forever and has resigned herself to an empty life, they have a scene together where they both admit their mutual attraction. The prose is all tense and brimming with emotion, and he finally goes to kiss her... and [[MomentKiller she ends the chapter by comparing him to a maid she once saw sneaking a pear in her old geisha house]].
** [[UnusualEuphemism Caves and eels.]]
* Graham Greene would do this with abstract concepts. "The small pricked-out plants irritated him like ignorance."
* Massie Block from Literature/TheClique series continually uses "Are you an X? Then why are you Y?"
* Amilyn Holdo from ''Literature/LeiaPrincessOfAlderaan'' tends to speak in weird metaphors. For instance, she compares a person who works for both sides of a conflict with a muffin: "a muffin always falls the cream side down, so if you cover it with cream entirely, it wouldn't fall". This habit of hers may have to do with her upbringing: she's from a planet Gatalenta known for its deeply spiritual culture reminiscent of Eastern religions; its inhabitants are very much into astrology, meditation, etc. And speaking in {{koan}}s and metaphors is very common for Eastern religions as well.

* Jeremy Clarkson of ''Series/TopGear'' (and also in his newspaper articles). The effect is amplified by the fact that many of them reference random subjects pulled out of nowhere apparently on the spur of the moment.
** "It's an Audi! It weighs as much as ''the moon!''"
** "(Critic has said car X is better than car Y)? Yes, in the same way that treading on a rusty nail is better than having sex with the entire sixth form of a girls' school!"
** He could probably make good money selling a best hits compilation DVD of his similes over the years. "Tastes exactly [[TastesLikeFeet like a hot Turkish urinal]]"?
*** In one interview, Clarkson actually attributed his success to this, saying that when he first became a motoring journalist, cars were more boringly samey than they had been for years, and he stuck out by his strategy of picking on something really minor and using an outrageous metaphor to describe it ("that rev counter looks like a woman's bits!")

* Narrator [[Series/MythBusters Robert Lee]] does this quite a bit, though it's often forgotten because he [[PungeonMaster performs more wordplay than a British crossword]].

* Pete Wentz, lyricist of Music/FallOutBoy is fond of this trope, to the point where it's in almost every song.

* The mysterious Dimentio in ''VideoGame/SuperPaperMario''. See the page quote.
** IntentionalEngrishForFunny-spewing Fawful in the handheld ''VideoGame/MarioAndLuigi'' games does it as well.

* The entire cast of ''VideoGame/MetalGear'', who [[RealisticDictionIsUnrealistic all talk exactly like]] Creator/HideoKojima.

* Outrageous like-simile-talking seems to be a favorite trait of comedic video game critics, seeing that WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd is also well known for his scatological similes regarding the shitty games he plays. Certainly you've heard about this business with diarrhea dumps in his ear and roadkilled skunks and the downing-with-beer thereof?

* [[EverythingIsBigInTexas Sandy Cheeks]] from ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants''. It comes standard with her stereotypical {{Deep South}}ern drawl.
* Along similar lines, Applejack from ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic''.
* The Script Assassin from ''WesternAnimation/KappaMikey''.
* The eponymous character of ''WesternAnimation/{{Fangbone}}'' (and the original ''Literature/FangboneThirdGradeBarbarian'' books), as part of his SesquipedalianLoquaciousness.
* WesternAnimation/TheTick, moreso in the cartoon than the comic book series.
* Cathy from ''WesternAnimation/MonsterBusterClub'' (usually in Gratuitous Rhapsodian)

* Maguro of ''WesternAnimation/SushiPack'' has a tendency to do this.
* Periodically, Clover from ''WesternAnimation/TotallySpies'' talks like this.
* [[FunnyForeigner Rolf]] from ''WesternAnimation/EdEddNEddy''.

* On ''WesternAnimation/DocMcStuffins'', Hallie is full of unusual phrases that she pulls out at moment's notice.
-->'''Hallie''': (''regarding Doc's baby toy [=CeCe=]'') [=CeCe=]'s sleeping sounder than a snail on a Sunday.

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--> ''It's colder than a [[MotorMouth gut-shot bitch wolf dog with nine sucking pups]] [[LyricalShoehorn pulling a number-four trap up a hill in the dead of winter in the middle of a snowstorm]] [[UpToEleven with a mouth full of porcupine quills]]...''

* Rolf from ''WesternAnimation/EdEddNEddy''.

* The eponymous ''WesternAnimation/{{Fangbone}},'' as part of his SesquipedalianLoquaciousness.

* The eponymous ''WesternAnimation/Fangbone,'' as part of his SesquipedalianLoquaciousness.

* Newscaster Dan Rather [[http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=125692&title=Election-Results---Dan-Rather was famous for this.]]

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* [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy This is just like that time that the writers of Family Guy referenced an eighties cultural phenomenon.]]

* [[Literature/TheBible Jesus]] and his parables. [[UsefulNotes/AncientGreece Socrates]], too.

* Invoked in ''Disney/TheFoxAndTheHound2'' over and over again.