History Main / SpiceRackPanacea

** [[WesternAnimation/{{Metalocalypse}} Bleach is healthy. It's mostly water, and we're mostly water. Therefore, we are bleach]].

----

One of the staples of late night advertising [[note]] And, these days, online as well, often said to be "discovered" by "a mom from {{Suburbia}}," and "Doctors Hate Her!!!" because she (apparently) [[ConsumerConspiracy knows something They don't want her to know]]. [[/note]] is the host of herbal remedies claiming to cure all known human ills. Having trouble shedding that last 10 pounds? There's an herbal pill for it. Can't concentrate or focus like you used to? We have magic plants for that, too. Sex life not what it used to be? There's a whole forest of herbs for that one. [[IncrediblyLamePun (And with that much wood, how can you go wrong?)]]

* Many plants contain various amount of phytoestrogens, which are compounds that behave like estrogen in the body. Whether or not phytoestrogens have any real health benefits for adult women [[http://envirocancer.cornell.edu/FactSheet/Diet/fs1.phyto.cfm is uncertain]], but some people claim (or strongly imply) that phytoestrogens are ''better'' for you than the estrogen your own body makes ''because it comes from plants.'' Whut?

->''"You can go to [[GrannyClassic your Nan]], who will give you two potions that will restore health, ''and'' magic, AND double your damage. For FREE. 'Nan, your hearty soup is flooding the potion market! Fuck Ganondorf, we need to save ''you'' from having your kneecaps broke by the Potion Teamsters Union!'"''

* An episode of ''Series/{{House}}'' from the first season dealt with this. He had to prove that it wasn't his failure to keep good records that caused a nun to react unexpectedly to an allergy shot. After about forty minutes televised time, he figured out that the figwort tea she drank all the time caused that particular problem; figwort acted like a stimulant.

In the U.S., a law has forced advertisements of such herbal remedies, which are not run through the Food and Drug Administration, to say as much at the end of their ads. Thus, you'll [[RattlingOffLegal hear]] or [[UnreadableDisclaimer see]] [[OurLawyersAdvisedThisTrope the following]]: "These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease." Which basically translates into "[[BlatantLies We just lied through our teeth]]" if the whole point of the ad was to imply that the remedy ''did'' "diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure" a specific disease. The above disclaimer has been derisively dubbed by the medical community as "The Quack Miranda Warning".

** A particularly egregious example is "brose", which is a herbal concoction drunk by the Nac Mac Feegle to get them in the fighting mood. That this beverage is a psychoactive capable of affecting a people who have drunk fairie spirits, lamp oil and Nanny Ogg's Special Sheep Liniment (which is capable of decking a bear through contact high alone) with no discernible effect should have raised a red flag or two, but Verence decides that "it's herbal, so it must be good", and chugs the lot. The effect is... something to behold.

See also AllNaturalSnakeOil. For something that actually works, see {{Panacea}}. Compare and contrast SideEffectsInclude. Also consider the PlaceboEffect, which means that even useless remedies can produce genuine results since YourMindMakesItReal.

One of the staples of late night advertising is the host of herbal remedies claiming to cure all known human ills. Having trouble shedding that last 10 pounds? There's an herbal pill for it. Can't concentrate or focus like you used to? We have magic plants for that, too. Sex life not what it used to be? There's a whole forest of herbs for that one. [[IncrediblyLamePun (And with that much wood, how can you go wrong?)]]

* [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_salve Black salve]] is a paste made by combining the acidic juice of the bloodroot plant with the highly acidic salt zinc chloride. It's marketed as a cure for acne, blisters, lesions, and even skin cancer, but all rubbing the stuff on your skin will accomplish is making it [[Squick blacken and burn off.]] And if you're really unlucky, you might [[BodyHorror lose your nose, ears, or whatever facial feature you rubbed it on.]]

* [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_salve Black salve]] is a paste made by combining the acidic juice of the bloodroot plant with the highly acidic salt zinc chloride. It's marketed as a cure for acne, blisters, lesions, and even skin cancer, but all rubbing the stuff on your skin will accomplish is making in [[Squick blacken and burn off.]] And if you're really unlucky, you might [[BodyHorror lose your nose, ears, or whatever facial feature you rubbed it on.]]

* [[http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/don%E2%80%99t-believe-hype-%E2%80%93-10-persistent-cancer-myths-debunked No, you cannot prevent, treat, or cure cancer by eating "superfoods," or a low-acid or vegan diet]] (you may however be able to fight it by lowering sugar in your diet, as cancer has [[https://www.webmd.com/cancer/news/20141216/diabetes-cancer-rates some links to diabetes]]).

* [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shilajit Shilajit]] (spellings differ), is a sludgelike substance derived from the gum of a certain cactus-like plant forming a sort of tar that looks and tastes like pavement would. Supposedly, it's ayurvedic and supports a healthy system. Well, it ''may'' do that, but it does so be causing gas and pretty severe abdominal pain (having taken it, I felt like I was about to die).

* [[http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/don%E2%80%99t-believe-hype-%E2%80%93-10-persistent-cancer-myths-debunked No, you cannot prevent, treat, or cure cancer by eating "superfoods," or a low-acid or vegan diet.]]

* In ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill'', Hank reacts to herbal tea as if it was a form of illegal drug by calling it "dope".

* ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'': King Verence of Lancre and Queen Magrat, for all their savvy and intelligence (Magrat is a ''herbalist''), think that medicine containing "herbs" is better, something enterprising merchants like [[HonestJohnsDealership C.M.O.T. Dibbler]] (and his Ramtops equivalent [[TheShangriLa Lobsang Diblah]]) are all too eager to cash in on, by shoving whatever random plants they find into bottles of shampoo and calling it a day.
** Nanny Ogg and Granny Weatherwax make use of this tendency often, with the former providing it as a reason why her [[GargleBlaster scumble]] is a healthy tonic ("It's made from apples. Well, mainly apples."), and the latter explaining to certain folks that some of her medicines contain rare herbal ingredients, like akwa and sukrose. It helps that, on the Disc, when a witch hands you a bottle and says that it will cure your ailments, you'd better darned well believe that it'll cure your ailments.

** As stated on AllNaturalSnakeOil, raw and wholly organic bitter almonds as well as apricot and peach pits (that is the seed within the stone) contain Amygdalin, the chemical used to get the "almond smell", which breaks down in the body. The chemical itself has a nitrile group that decomposes into cyanide. Amygdalin and it's synthetic cousin laetrile have been pushed as "vitamin B17" (note that it is not, nor has it ever met the scientific definition of a vitamin) and has been made claim that it "selectively targets cancer cells" (yes, this is true and no, they don't explain how) and that The FDA is conspiring with "Big Pharma" to withhold information of the "natural cures" for some sinister reason and not because these are so bad that the bags that sell them explicitly state "don't eat more than six a day" (see [[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/ConspiracyTheories/HToN Health]]).

--> We'll drink a drink, a drink/To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink/ The saviour of the human race!
--> For she invented, Medicinal Compound/Most efficacious, in every case!

* Warfarin, a prescription drug used to treat many heart and circulation problems, is known to have potentially harmful interactions with over 200 herbal medicines, including ginseng, dong quai, feverfew, gingko, alfalfa, chamomile, and St. John's wort.

** As stated on AllNaturalSnakeOil, raw and wholly organic bitter almonds as well as apricot and peach pits (that is the seed within the stone) contain Amygdalin, the chemical used to get the "almond smell", which breaks down in the body. The chemical itself has a nitrile group that decomposes into cyanide. Amygdalin and it's synthetic cousin laetrile have been pushed as "vitamin B17" and has been made claim that it "selectively targets cancer cells" (yes, this is true and no, they don't explain how) and that The FDA is conspiring with "Big Pharma" to withhold information of the "natural cures" for some sinister reason and not because these are so bad that the bags that sell them explicitly state "don't eat more than six a day" (see [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/ConspiracyTheories/HToN Health]]).

* An episode of ''PerfectStrangers'' had Balki mentioning ''The [[MeaningfulName Midolcrampabloatalis root]] that grows on the summit of [[MeaningfulName Mt. PMSkalos]]" as a cure for something that ailed Larry.

* In ''NewTricks'', DefectiveDetective Brian Lane switches from the powerful anti-depressants he normally uses to combat his [=OCD=] and paranoid manic depression to a holistic regime... and quickly becomes an unstable, nervous and paranoid wreck who's no good at his job. In her defense, the holistic practitioner he consults urges him to consult his medical doctor before making any shift in his medication or including her holistic treatments in his routine; Brian simply chooses not to listen.

* [[http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/don%E2%80%99t-believe-hype-%E2%80%93-10-persistent-cancer-myths-debunked0 No, you cannot prevent, treat, or cure cancer by eating "superfoods," or a low-acid or vegan diet.]]

* As stated on AllNaturalSnakeOil, raw and wholly organic bitter almonds as well as apricot and peach pits (that is the seed within the stone) contain Amygdalin, the chemical used to get the "almond smell", which breaks down in the body. The chemical itself has a nitrile group that decomposes into cyanide. Amygdalin and it's synthetic cousin laetrile have been pushed as "vitamin B17" and has been made claim that it "selectively targets cancer cells" (yes, this is true and no, they don't explain how) and that The FDA is conspiring with "Big Pharma" to withhold information of the "natural cures" for some sinister reason and not because these are so bad that the bags that sell them explicitly state "don't eat more than six a day" (see [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/ConspiracyTheories/HToN Health]]).

[[AC: In Fiction]]

[[AC: Real Life]]