History Main / RuleNumberOne

** The ''[[WritingAroundTrademarks Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries]]''. Rule one: Pillage, ''then'' burn.

* In Terry Pratchett's novel ''Literature/ThiefOfTime'', Lu-Tze often reminds people about Rule One. Unfortunately for them, not everyone gets the message. Rule One is: [[spoiler: "Never act incautiously when confronted by a [[OldMaster little bald wrinkly smiling man]]!"]] Then there's Rule Nineteen, which is "Never forget Rule One, and ask yourself why it was invented in the first place."

* Al the Barbarian, leader of one of the competing teams in ''Literature/TheCaliforniaVoodooGame'', has a RuleNumberOne for live-action adventure gaming:

* Harry taught ''Series/{{Dexter}}'' a code to control his psychopathic tendencies. It had whole sections to make sure he only went after bad guys, but as he tells [[spoiler:James Doakes]] toward the end of season 2 in response to the suggesting that he turn himself in, RuleNumberOne was always Don't Get Caught. According to Harry, that was the point of the whole endeavor, keeping Dexter alive; thus it's the first rule. [[spoiler:Of course, no one wants anyone, even oneself, to know that he's turned his adopted son into a gory weapon of his own vigilantism. Not that it's cut-and-dried.]]

** The [[AlienNonInterferenceClause Prime Directive]] is the Federation's RuleNumberOne.

* ''Disney/{{Aladdin}}'''s Genie.

* Phil from ''Disney/{{Hercules}}'' has a whole list of rules for being a hero.

* In ''Disney/WreckItRalph'', the most important rule in ''[[ShowWithinAShow Hero's Duty]]'' is "Never interfere with the first-person shooter!".

* In ''Literature/DirkGentlysHolisticDetectiveAgency'', Richard is breaking into his girlfriend's apartment when he receives a mysterious phone call describing "the rules of breaking into an apartment". Rule number one is "never answer the phone".

* In Terry Pratchett's novel ''Discworld/ThiefOfTime'', Lu-Tze often reminds people about Rule One. Unfortunately for them, not everyone gets the message. Rule One is: [[spoiler: "Never act incautiously when confronted by a [[OldMaster little bald wrinkly smiling man]]!"]] Then there's Rule Nineteen, which is "Never forget Rule One, and ask yourself why it was invented in the first place."

See also ThingsYouAreNotAllowToDo.

* Rule34, one of the RulesOfTheInternet. As mentioned in the [[Franchise/StarTrek Ferengi Rules of Acquisition]] example, above, 34 was the first one created, the rest followed afterward.

*** In the original ''[[Recap/DoctorWhoNewAdventuresHumanNature Human Nature]]'' novel, the list the Doctor gave Benny only has nine rules on it. The five Tennant actually gives are there, including the one about pears.

Another situation is conveying advice or admonishments, such as with the MentorArchetype or OldMaster. In this case the rules could be 'don't use the DangerousForbiddenTechnique' or 'always believe in yourself'. They are likely to include RuleZero: "I'm always right."

ThereAreNoRules is a inversion, though that itself is sometimes called "Rule #1" nonetheless. This can then be subverted by having other rules follow which are actually restrictive.

The ThievesGuild most often has each of its members adhere to certain numbered rules.

For the [[Literature/{{Discworld}} other]] Rule Number One, see OldMaster.

* ''Series/{{Porridge}}'': According to Mr. Mackay, there are only two rules in Slade Prison. Rule number 1: Do not write on the walls. And rule number 2: Obey all the rules. What's strange is that in the same scene he brings up a rule against prisoners congregating in a cell.

* Inverted in ''Film/BabylonAD'' where it's Sister Rebeka who gives the rules to badass mercenary Toorop before the LiveActionEscortMission, the last of which is "No foul language." Toorop gives a not-quite amused smile.

:: When their relationship loosens up a bit, Toorop admits that Rule Number One for a mercenary is [[RealMenCook learning how to cook]].

* ''WesternAnimation/DragonsRidersOfBerk'': In "Live and Let Fly", Hiccup establishes a secret 'Dragon Flight Club'. The first rule of Dragon Flight Club is "There is no Dragon Flight Club". This confuses the twins no end.
* Parodied in ''WesternAnimation/{{Archer}}'', when Archer is teaching Cyril how to be an agent - ''every'' rule is "Rule Number One".

* ''Series/{{Porridge}}'': According to Mr. Mackay, there are only two rules in Slade Prison. Rule number 1: Do not write on the walls. And rule number 2: Obey all the rules.

[[folder: Anime & Manga]]

* ''Franchise/StarTrek'':
** The Ferengi are immensely fond of quoting Rules of Acquisition.
-->First Rule of Acquisition: Once you have their money, you never give it back.\\
33rd Rule of Acquisition: It never hurts to suck up to the boss.\\
45th Rule of Acquisition: Expand or die.\\
Unwritten Rule of Acquisition: When no appropriate rule applies, make one up.
** [[PlayingWithATrope Played with]]: the first Rule of Acquisition was presented as #162 - to create a demand for #1 through #161, and according to Quark's vision, they're only rules because the "Guidelines of Acquisition" doesn't have the same selling power. A complete list of the rules (canon and non-canon) can be found [[http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Rules_of_Acquisition here]].
** Ensign Robin Lefler, who appeared in one episode of ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'', "The Game", had "Lefler's Laws", a list of rules she made up for herself. She still uses them when she becomes a main character in ''Literature/StarTrekNewFrontier''.
** The [[AlienNonInterferenceClause Prime Directive]] is the Federation's RuleNumberOne.
** PlayedForLaughs in ''Series/StarTrekEnterprise'' when our heroes are headed to Risa for shore leave and Trip wears a Hawaiian shirt that nearly makes T'Pol's ears bleed:
--->'''T'Pol:''' If you're wearing that to impress the women on Risa, you may as well stay on board.\\
'''Trip:''' Rule Number One: You gotta be seen to get noticed, and I plan on gettin' noticed.\\
'''Archer:''' Don't say she didn't warn you.

** In the ''Literature/DoctorWhoNewAdventures'' novel ''Set Piece'' Ace, seemingly left with no choice but to kill the Doctor to save the universe, flashes back to this conversation (and occasions when the Doctor had to make similar decisions) and decides that the third rule -- ''her'' rule -- is "No-one deserves to be sacrificed".

--->'''The Doctor:''' Rule One: Don't wander off.
** River Song's personal Rule One is, "The Doctor lies." It turns out [[spoiler:she was given that rule by the Doctor]], along with Rule 7: "Never run when you're scared," Rule 27: "Never knowingly be serious," and Rule 408: "You should always waste time when you don't have any. Time is not the boss of you."
** In "[[Recap/DoctorWhoS29E8HumanNature Human Nature]]", the Doctor leaves a set of 23 numbered rules for Martha to follow while he's transformed into a human and unaware of his true identity. In actuality, there were only about five instructions in the script (as Martha fast-fowards through most of them), and David Tennant [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsGzSz0KyNI hilariously ad-libbed dialogue for the skipped parts]].
** In the original ''[[Recap/DoctorWhoNewAdventuresHumanNature Human Nature]]'' novel, the list the Doctor gave Benny only has nine rules on it. The five Tennant actually gives are there, including the one about pears.

* ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'':
** "The first rule of Slaying: Don't die!" Buffy breaks this one ''twice'' and is still around to be scolded by Giles.
** In "Real Me" Buffy states the Rule Number One of living in Sunnydale is "[[MustBeInvited Do not invite blood-sucking dead people into your home!]]" Buffy breaks that rule too.

* Unproduced 2008 TV pilot ''Captain Cook's Extraordinary Atlas'' [[http://tvwriting.googlepages.com/pilotschool (available here)]] mentions three rules that were followed by Captain James Cook when exploring the more fantastic areas of the Earth, and that were supposed to be followed by subsequent "navigators".
* In one of the most well-known ''Series/{{MASH}}'' episodes ("Sometimes You Hear the Bullet" - the show's first WhamEpisode and its GrowingTheBeard moment), Henry Blake tells Hawkeye:
-->'''Col. Blake:''' "All I know is what they taught me at command school. There are certain rules about a war. And rule number one is young men die. And rule number two is, doctors can't change rule number one."
* In ''Series/RedDwarf'', Kryten would often quote the Space Corps Directives, with a number each time. Rimmer would try to do the same, but get the numbers wrong; for example, quoting Directive 34124, which Kryten informed him was "No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity."
* ''Film/FightClub'' is parodied in the ''Robot Club'' episode of ''Series/{{Spaced}}'':
-->'''Robot Club Leader:''' Gentlemen, welcome to Robot Club. The first rule of Robot Club is, you do not talk about about Robot Club. The second rule of Robot Club is, YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT Ro? wait, I? got that wrong. ''[Unfolding a crumpled up piece of paper and pushing up his glasses]'' The second rule is, no smoking.\\

* ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus'' reads out the faculty rules of the Philosophy Department of the University of Woolamaloo:
--> "Rule one - no pooftahs. Rule two, no member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any way whatsoever - [[NotCheatingUnlessYouGetCaught if there's anybody watching]]. Rule three - no pooftahs. Rule four - I don't want to catch anyone not drinking in their room after lights out. Rule five - no pooftahs. Rule six - ThereIsNoRuleSix! Rule seven - [[OverlyLongGag no pooftahs]]. That concludes the reading of the rules, Bruce."
* In ''Series/TheAndyGriffithShow'' episode "The Big House", Barney Fife lays down the law for two new inmates at the jail:
--> '''Barney:''' "Now, here at the Rock we have two basic rules. Memorize them, so that you can say them in your sleep. The first rule is: Obey all rules. Secondly, do not write on the walls, as it takes a lot of work to erase writing off of walls."
* The same gag appears in ''Series/{{Porridge}}'', only with the rules in the opposite order. According to Mr. Mackay, there are only two rules in Slade Prison. Rule number 1: Do not write on the walls. And rule number 2: Obey all the rules.
* Harry taught ''Series/{{Dexter}}'' a code to control his psychopathic tendencies. It had whole sections to make sure he only went after bad guys, but as he tells [[spoiler: James Doakes]] toward the end of season 2 in response to the suggesting that he turn himself in, RuleNumberOne was always Don't Get Caught. According to Harry, that was the point of the whole endeavor, keeping Dexter alive; thus it's the first rule. [[spoiler: Of course, no one wants anyone, even oneself, to know that he's turned his adopted son into a gory weapon of his own vigilantism. Not that it's cut-and-dried.]]
* In ''Series/TheITCrowd'', "the first rule of ''Street Countdown''... [[SubvertedTrope is that you really must try and tell as many people as possible about it]]. It's a rather fun game and the more people you tell about it the better."

* ''Series/TheSlammer'': According to Mr Burgess there are two rules to Dance Club. Rule number 1: You must dance! And rule number two: No fizzy drinks near the stage!
* ''Series/TheGirlsGuideToDepravity'' is all about a set of rules for women in dating and sexual situations. Even the women who are following them know they're fairly dangerous.
* ''{{Series/Emergency}}'' In 'The Promotion', Roy and Dixie discuss 'Rule Number One': Don't get emotionally involved with the patients. The ep showed how hard it can be to keep to this rule, given what first responders see in their work.
* ''Series/LittleLunch'': In "The Joke Competition", Atticus announces that the first rule of the joke competition is that everyone must tell a joke. This is also the second and third rules.

[[folder:Theater]]

-->'''Rule #1''': The customer is always right.
-->'''Rule #2''': If the customer is ever wrong, see Rule #1.

[[folder:Comic Books]]

For the [[Literature/{{Discworld}} other]] Rule Number One, see BadassGrandpa.

* The Miramax cut of ''WesternAnimation/TheThiefAndTheCobbler'', when the thief is on a tightrope: "Rule number one: Keep your eye on the wire and have feet like a monkey. Rule number two: It's always good to wear underwear when you're up this high, otherwise you could attract a sizable crowd. That brings us to rule number three." He can't remember rule number three.