History Main / OutGivingBirthBackInTwoMinutes

* ZigZaggedTrope in ''Series/{{Friends}}''. In "The One Where Rachel Has a Baby", Rachel's own labor lasts for so long that she shared the room with four different women who delivered their babies more quickly. One of them didn't even reach the room, and delivered her baby right in the aisle.

[[OppositeTropes The opposite of]] ScreamingBirth. When a show wants to avoid showing a woman's labor and delivery, usually because it would be unsuitable for the format (too graphic for a children's show, too serious for a comedy), birth becomes as simple as going offscreen. One quick trip to the hospital -- or a bedroom, or a closet, or a phone booth -- and Baby is here.

Rarely TruthInTelevision, though childbirth can be ''relatively'' quick and painless. While the shortest recorded time for an American woman in labor in the last hundred years with both the child and the mother surviving is 23 minutes, the national average is just over six hours. Labor and delivery put heavy stress on the cervix and the baby's skull even under normal circumstances, and a faster delivery increases the stress, so shorter is not necessarily better.

Usually appears in conjunction with CleanPrettyChildbirth. Compare InstantBirthJustAddLabor, where the labor and delivery happen in-show but progress faster than they do in RealLife.

* In general, the more times a woman has given birth (not by C-section), the quicker and easier any future births are. This is especially true of mothers who have previously given birth without epidurals or Pitocin.

** In "[[Recap/FamilyGuyS3E1TheThinWhiteLine The Thin White Line]]", Peter and Brian prank the occupants of a Teen Pregnancy Center by putting their hands in bowls of warm water while they are sleeping. They quickly leave the room and start giggling to each other as the sounds of many crying babies are suddenly heard from offscreen.

** In "[[Recap/FuturamaS6E16LawAndOracle Law and Oracle]]", Chief O'Mannahan excuses herself, ducks into a bathroom, and emerges roughly a minute later holding a freshly delivered baby with no prior indication that she was even pregnant.

** Used in "[[Recap/FuturamaS3E4LuckOfTheFryish Luck of the Fryish]]", subverting ScreamingBirth where Fry's mother turns out to be screaming at the sports game on the radio.

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Rarely TruthInTelevision, though childbirth can be ''relatively'' quick and painless. While the shortest recorded time for an American woman in labor in the last hundred years with both the child and the mother surviving is 23 minutes, the national average is just over six hours. Labor and delivery put stress on the cervix and the baby's skull under normal circumstances, and a faster delivery increases the stress, so shorter is not necessarily better.

Usually appears in conjunction with CleanPrettyChildbirth. Compare InstantBirthJustAddWater, where the labor and delivery happen in-show but progress faster than they do in RealLife.

-->--'''Creator/RudyardKipling''', ''The Three-Decker''

* In the film of ''Film/{{Perfume}}:'', Grenouille's mother gives birth to him while standing at her outdoor shop's counter. ''While a customer is there.'' It takes her just a minute to pump him out, and the confused customer only wonders for a short while why this woman was suddenly collapsing and screaming.

* In a routine on the subject of birth, Creator/JeffFoxworthy mentions how the shortest amount of time a woman can spend in the hospital post-birth is six hours, which he imagines playing out as a woman grunting, popping out the kid and calling to her husband "Grab the kid and lets' go, Randy! I got a wash t'do!"

** In "[[Recap/FuturamaS6E16LawAndOracle Law and Oracle]]", Chief O'Mannahan excuses herself, ducks into a bathroom and emerges roughly a minute later holding a freshly delivered baby with no prior indication that she was even pregnant.

* On ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill'', Peggy's flashback to Bobby's birth reveals that she was on so many painkillers that from her perspective, she basically checked into her hospital room, had a wonderful nap and woke up in the car on the way home a few days later. Obviously not quite TruthInTelevision.

* Used in the ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' episode "The Luck of the Fryish", subverting ScreamingBirth where Fry's mother turns out to be screaming at the sports game on the radio.
** In "Law and Oracle", Chief O'Mannahan excuses herself, ducks into a bathroom and emerges roughly a minute later holding a freshly delivered baby with no prior indication that she was even pregnant.
* On ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'', Peter is talking to a very fat woman (one of his ex-girlfriends) when suddenly a baby simply falls out of her, causing her to shout out to her offscreen husband, "You were right! I ''was'' pregnant!"
** In another episode, Peter and Brian prank the occupants of a Teen Pregnancy Center by putting their hands in bowls of warm water while they are sleeping. They quickly leave the room and start giggling to each other as the sounds of many crying babies are suddenly heard from offscreen.

[[OppositeTropes The opposite of]] ScreamingBirth. When a show wants to avoid graphic details and a screaming woman pushing a child through her pelvis, such as in a children's show or in a comedy (sometimes for humor, sometimes to avoid wasting airtime on something unfunny), a birth becomes as simple as going to the hospital and popping out the kid like a PEZ candy. Sometimes the hospital isn't even necessary.

Rarely TruthInTelevision, though every once in a while, childbirth is ''relatively'' quick and painless. While the shortest recorded time for an American woman in labor in the last hundred years with both the child and the mother surviving is 23 minutes, the national average is just over six hours of labor. An extremely short labor and/or fast delivery is somewhat dangerous to mother and baby, since it puts heavy stresses on the cervix and the baby's skull. Shorter is not necessarily better.

[[OppositeTropes The opposite of]] ScreamingBirth. When a show wants to avoid graphic details and a screaming woman pushing a child through her pelvis, such as in a children's show or in a comedy (sometimes for humor, sometimes to avoid wasting airtime on something unfunny), a birth becomes as simple as going to the hospital and popping out the kid like a PEZ candy. Sometimes, the hospital isn't even necessary.

Rarely TruthInTelevision, though every once in a while, childbirth is ''relatively'' quick and painless. While the shortest recorded time for an American woman in labor in the last hundred years with both the child and the mother surviving is 23 minutes, the national average is just over six hours of labor. In cases of extremely short labor, there are typically complications of varying severity that cause or result from the unexpectedly simple and quick situation.

This trope applies to practically ''any'' birth that is not human, equine or hyenine.

Often results in BornInAnElevator, though that trope is usually accompanied by a ScreamingBirth and should be added to the appropriate page.

Usually combined with CleanPrettyChildbirth. Compare InstantBirthJustAddWater, where the birth is in the story, but often quicker and easier than it should be.

* Female horses are known as the birth-giving queens of the whole animal kingdom, or at least among the animals most people know. There's a saying that goes, "A watched mare never foals," and most horse breeders will agree with this. The minute you leave the mare alone is the minute the foal will hit the ground. Quick foaling is a necessity because of the animal's biology: a horse's placenta disattaches at an early stage of foaling, and the foal must come out quickly or it may suffer from lack of oxygen.

* Creator/RudyardKipling cites this trope in ''Literature/TheThreeDecker''
-->''We never talked obstetrics when the Little Stranger came''

-->--'''Creator/RudyardKipling''', ''Literature/TheThreeDecker''

[[OppositeTropes The opposite of]] ScreamingBirth. When a show wants to avoid graphic details and a screaming woman pushing a child through her pelvis, such as in a children's show or in a comedy (sometimes for humor, sometimes to avoid wasting airtime on something unfunny), a birth becomes a simple as going to the hospital and popping out the kid like a PEZ candy. Sometimes, the hospital isn't even necessary.

Rarely TruthInTelevision, though every once in a while childbirth is ''relatively'' quick and painless. While the shortest recorded time for an American woman in labor in the last hundred years with both the child and the mother surviving is 23 minutes, the national average is just over six hours of labor. In cases of extremely short labor, there are typically complications of varying severity that cause or result from the unexpectedly simple and quick situation.

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* In Myth/GreekMythology, Leto gave birth to Artemis without any pain, and due to RapidAging, Artemis was then able to be midwife for her twin brother Apollo the next day. Naturally, Artemis becomes the goddess of childbirth (among other things).

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* On ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'', Peter is talking to a very fat woman when suddenly a baby simply falls out of her, causing her to shout out to her offscreen husband, "You were right! I ''was'' pregnant!"

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* In general, the more times a woman has given birth (not by C-section), the quicker and easier any future births are. This is especially true of mothers who have previously given birth without epidurals or pitocin.

* A Creator/ArthurCClarke story had the protagonist's wife birth their child unassisted in the morning, then she cleaned up and prepared dinner.

* In the early ''[[Literature/TheBerenstainBears Berenstain Bears]]'' book ''The Berenstain Bears' New Baby'', which features the birth of Sister Bear, Papa and Small (soon to be Brother) Bear go out in the morning, with a pregnant but not yet in labor Mama seeing them off. They come home that night to find Sister already born and Mama up and about taking care of her. Averted in the later book ''The Birds and the Bees and the Berenstain Bears'', which features the birth of Honey Bear and gives Mama a more realistic pregnancy and hospital delivery.