History Main / OurSloganIsTerrible

* The [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Beer Store]] in Ontario used to have the slogan, "The Beer Store. It's where the beers are."

* Wiener Burger in multiple episodes of ''WesternAnimation/TinyToonAdventures'' has "Wiener Burgers are so much fun to eat,/If you look real hard, you might even find some meat!"

* Music/TomPetty claimed his [=SiriusXM=] ''Buried Treasures'' show was recorded at Rick's Airport Recorders, offering the best sound in the Los Angeles Airport area.

-->'''Phoenix''': That silly slogan Maya came up with must be what's making business this slow. I should really have it revised... ''Scratch that'', I ''NEED'' to have it revised! Who are we trying to attract, grade-school students?

-->'''Tom:''': "Go to Grot Shops and get an eyeful/of Perrin's products with a wide range of goods that are really pretty awful." \\
'''Reggie''': It ''almost'' rhymes and scans properly, that's the important thing. This is exactly what I'm paying you for.\\
'''Tom:''': Thank you. Well, I'll just give you one more, perhaps: 'Grot is the ideal place for gifts/ because they're all on one floor/ so there aren't any lifts.' They aren't all of that standard, of course.

** The entire "Nut-rific" skit is about a candy company trying to get their ad agency to come up with a jingle that isn't terrible, and failing. They start with "Nut-rific, it does nut taste good!" and just get worse.

---> '''Robert''': Once you cressp, you just can't splessp!
---> '''David''': That doesn't make ''any sense''!
---> '''Robert''': ''(spits crisps out)'' Oh, GOD, they're horrid!

* ''WesternAnimation/TheBoondocks'' proposed a number of slogans for BET: "BET - it's what's on in the background," "BET - tell it to someone who gives a fuck," and "BET - 'cause you niggas got nothing better to watch."

* In ''WesternAnimation/ThePowerpuffGirls1998'' we get to see a septic tank truck that reads "Bob's Septic World - We're full of it!"

* ''WebVideo/BrainscratchCommentaries''' playthrough of ''VideoGame/MarioParty4'' gives us one. A minigame called Order Up has you find food items on a conveyor belt as Toad calls them out. After one game, Ted coins the slogan '[[RandomNumberGenerator RNG]] Café: You ''may'' like it'.

* All of the Canadian provinces and territories have different slogans on their licence plates[[note]]Minus Newfoundland & Labrador, who used to have a slogan, but dropped it in the mid-90's, and Nunavut, but they print their name in both English and Inuktitut[[/note]]. Most of these brag about some part of the province (''Friendly Manitoba'', ''Beautiful British Columbia''), a reference to their history or culture (Prince Edward Island's ''Birthplace of Confederation'', Quebec's ''Je me souviens''[[note]]''I remember''. It is also the provincial motto on their coat-of-arms. Taken from a remark by Étienne-Paschal Taché, one of the Fathers of Confederation. While he never specified what he meant, one can guess based on another famous remark of his:''"we will never forget our allegiance till the last cannon which is shot on this continent in defence of Great Britain is fired by the hand of a French-Canadian"''[[/note]], Alberta's ''Wild Rose Country''[[note]]The wild rose is Alberta's provincial flower[[/note]]), or are inviting to visitors (Ontario's ''Yours to Discover''). All of them are quite good... except for New Brunswick, who decided to go with ''Be...In This Place''. To make things worse, since New Brunswick is the only province that has both English and French as their official language, they write it in both languages, ''"Be... in this place ᐧ Être... ici on le peut"'', apparently just so they can confuse people in two languages instead of just one.

* Starbix in ''Series/TheHitchHikersGuideToTheGalaxy1981'' (the breakfast cereal that the ''Guide'' cribbed all that "Space" stuff from the back of) has the slogan "[[IfItTastesBadItMustBeGoodForYou Nasty ... but nourishing]]", a parody of the National Dairy Council's contemporary cream cake adverts, which had the slogan "Naughty. But nice".

* The slogan for ''VideoGame/{{EarthBound|1994}}'' (the actual one, used for marketing) is "This Game Stinks," as part of an odd campaign involving scratch-and-sniff cards sold alongside the game. They were aiming for ToiletHumor, despite the game itself not having much of that. Yeah, that's probably why the sales went badly.
* The sponsors' advertisements from the beginning of ''[[VideoGame/BitTrip Runner2]]'':
--> "Schlörtz Premium Malt Fluid: It's wet!"
--> "Shorty's Milk Brine: It could be worse!"
* ''VideoGame/FallenLondon'':
** The Echo Bazaar has some normal-sounding slogans, but the one for Nikolas Pawnbrokers is a little unsettling:
--> "Best wares. Best prices. [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial No spiders]]."
** Meanwhile, the one for [[WantonCrueltyToTheCommonComma Merrigans]] Exchange is just silly
---> "Celebrating Twenty Years Without An Apostrophe"
* In ''VideoGame/WarioMasterOfDisguise'', one of the antagonists is a CorruptCorporateExecutive named Carpaccio. His company's slogan is "We're hard at work watching your back... That way it's easier to pick your pocket!"
* In ''VideoGame/{{Undertale}}'', the slogan for the Spider Bake Sale:
--> "Made by spiders, for spiders, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick of spiders]]."
** And for Spider Cider, an item in the game:
---> "Made from real spiders. Not just the juice."
* According to a commercial in ''VideoGame/ResidentEvilRevelations2'', [=TerraSave=]'s slogan is "Because 'Terr' doesn't have to end with 'rist.'"
* ''VideoGame/MassEffect2'' has Tupari Sports Drink, whose bizarre slogans include "Tupari, brings your ancestors back from the grave"[[note]]This refers to an urban legend about a [[BiteTheWaxTadpole hilariously mistranslated Pepsi slogan]], which [[https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/come-alive/ Snopes]] categorizes as "Undetermined".[[/note]] and "I knew a man who didn't drink Tupari sports drink for three days, he got hit by a shuttle!"
* ''VideoGame/TheOuterWorlds'' has a number of examples. You get the feeling that marketing is one of many places where the shoddily-run corporate dystopia that is the Halcyon system has cut corners:
** The Spacer's Choice company, whose product line is deeply unreliable, poorly made knockoffs sold at discount. Their slogan "It's not the best choice, it's Spacer's Choice!" pretty much ''admits'' this.
** C&P Boarst Wurst. "It's not the wurst unless it's boarst wurst." Boarst wurst is actually pretty decent by most accounts, if you can get past it being made from [[BodyHorror cysts that slough off genetically engineered pigs]].
** Rizzo's, a manufacturer of candy, soft-drinks, and other foods, produces such gems as "Rizzo's Lemon Slapp! Slapp your whole family tonight!"
* ''VideoGame/PaperMarioTheOrigamiKing'': Overlook Tower's slogan is "The tower with a gift shop." The Toad who tells Mario about it assures him it's still being worked on.
* ''VideoGame/TheJackboxPartyPack'': [[LoanShark Predatory Loans]] in ''Bidiots'' is a loan company with a number of musical jingles that tend to be about what a bad idea it is to borrow from them.
-->''Pred-a-tor-y Loans!'' We really hope you don't [[ReadTheFinePrint read the fiiine priiint]]!
* ''VideoGame/SaintsRow2'' has some of the radio ads you can hear while driving.
** "Bling Bling: The term may be outdated, but our marketing department doesn't care!"
** "Brass Knuckles: because sometimes you really wanna beat the hell out of people!"
** Then there's "Ship It", a boat selling business. Their ads feature a russian guy named Vladimir doing stuff like admiting their boats are used in human trafficking or threatening to kill you if you don't buy from them, much to the chagrin of the director.
--->''Ship it: Bad at marketing, great at boats!''
* ''VideoGame/BarnFinders'': The slogan for the company M.I.K.K.O. is "M.I.K.K.O.! It should work!".
* ''Videogame/EvilGenius'': The slogan of De Laager's Diamond Mining Corporation is "We turn rocks into gold, metaphorically speaking."
* ''VideoGame/CragneManor'': According to real estate agent Bethany, the slogan of the town of Backwater is "Backwater: You Get Used To It."

* ''Webcomic/{{Subnormality}}'' -- [[http://www.viruscomix.com/page459.html ZAP Protein Snack]]: "Don't buy it -- it's a ripoff!!"

* A prison tattoo artist in ''Webcomic/SomethingPositive'' uses the slogan "Come see Edna, [[DamnedByFaintPraise you won't get hepatitis]]!"
* ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'': Mamma Gkika's bottle of [[BottledHeroicResolve Jäger battle-draught]] claims it is "Slightly Better than Death!" on the label.

* ''Webcomic/TheAdventuresOfDoctorMcNinja'': "[[http://drmcninja.com/archives/comic/1p2/ We don't hire night janitors]]"
* ''Webcomic/OzyAndMillie'': The local grocery store is Pay 'n Pay "Where freshness is a possibility."
* ''Webcomic/{{Precocious}}'': Do-Dah's, known for making mediocre ice cream has "Look, it's ice cream. Isn't that enough?"
** It later gets replaced with Pooters Ice Cream, which despite apparently being health code compliant, always get accidental ToiletHumor into their advertisements. Their slogan is "[[FunWithAcronyms It's Country Kindness Y'all!]]"

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZzgAjjuqZM The second of]] Mike Polk's viral "Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Videos" includes the slogan "At least we're not [[PlaceWorseThanDeath Detroit]]!"

* ''WebVideo/BrainscratchCommentaries''' playthrough of ''VideoGame/MarioParty4'' gives us one. A minigame called Order Up has you find food items on a conveyor belt as Toad calls them out. After one game, Ted coins the slogan '[[RandomNumberGenerator RNG]] Café: You ''may'' like it'.
* Subverted in ''WebVideo/BeingTheElite''. During The Elite's attempt to include {{public service announcement}}s, there was the slogan ''"BTE is drug free, and that's the way to be!"''
* In the ''WebAnimation/AnimatorVSAnimation'' series video ''Animation VS Youtube'', two such examples are shown via Youtube ads, [[RunningGag both of which are about vacuums]]:
** We-Suck Vacuums: "We suck more than any of our competitors."
** Drag Vacs: "Life... is a drag."
* Subverted and discussed in ''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}''. Emerald and Mercury enter 'Tukson's Book Trade' pretending to be customers to murder the owner. Emerald asks for different books before she catches one they don't carry and makes Tukson recite the slogan -- "Home to Every Book Under the Sun". The two point out the catchphrase is untrue, and when Tukson tries to brush it off, Mercury dramatically accuses him of false advertising and they drop the charade.
-->'''Tukson:''' It's just a catchphrase.\\
'''Mercury:''' It's ''false advertising!''

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* ''ComicStrip/TheFarSide'': I cuss, you cuss, we all cuss for asparagus!
* Creator/{{Marvel}}'s Roxxon Oil corporation, in the 1989 "Marvel: A Year in Review" (which was written as an in-universe magazine), had a big ad where in parody of the Exxon Valdez spill, their slogan was "There's plenty more where that came from."
* Creator/WalterMoers has an entire strip about a creative company owner losing his knack for catchy slogans as he grows old and senile, to the point that everyone is hugely relieved when he finally dies. Unfortunately he has willed that ''all'' of his remaining slogans must stay in use... or all the money goes into the Invented Just To Annoy My Inheritors trust. The marketing department is forced to run each slogan above a foot-high disclaimer asking the reader to consider the mental state of its author.
* "America's Best Comics! Where 'quality' isn't just a motto -- it's a slogan!"

* Cult film ''Film/PutneySwope'' is this and then some, showing an advertising firm after the TokenBlack gets control and steers the entire company into most unusual waters.
* ''Film/{{Hellzapoppin}}'' includes a film studio called Miracle Pictures. Slogan: "If it's a good picture, it's a Miracle!" (This gag was later reused by ''Film/ThreeAmigos'', Creator/JoeDante's ''Hollywood Boulevard'', and a RealLife record label.)

* ''Literature/JohnnyAndTheDead'': "If it's a boot, it's a Blackbury!" Later on, the company who wants to destroy the graveyard has the slogan "Forward to the future". Johnny says it makes the boot slogan sound good in comparison.
* ''The Sheriff of Yrnameer'' has a RunningGag with the Firestick weapon marketing department and the tendency of their slogans to increase the size of the resulting holes in proportion to the model number of the firearm in question.
* An Azazel story features the slogan "Shrink the Stink!" which is then inexplicably successful.

* ''Literature/DaveBarrySleptHere'' points to the failure of advertising campaigns like these to recruit new sailors:
-->BE ALL THAT YOU CAN BE!\\
Become a Hardy Mariner\\
"Get Lost and Die."
* ''Literature/{{Relativity}}'' takes place in the (fictional) city of Gale City, Indiana. The city's slogan is "You are here."
* The Smile Syndicate's slogan from ''Literature/DanShambleZombiePI'' is "We hope your day is a sunny one" ... which might not be so bad, except that they continue right on using it at subsidiaries inside the Unnatural Quarter, where much of the populace happen to be vampires or otherwise nocturnal by nature.
** They're still doing better than weather wizard Richard Thudner's campaign slogan: "Be a Dick supporter."
* In ''Literature/DiaryOfAWimpyKidCabinFever'', a box of Bac'n Snax has the slogan "Made with REAL animal by-products" printed on it.

* ''Series/TheThinBlueLine'''s town had the slogan "It's not as bad as you think".

* ''Series/TheColbertReport''[='s=] fake medicine company "Prescott Pharmaceuticals":
** "What doesn't kill you makes you part of our class-action settlement."
** "Now with more side effects! Collect 'em all!"
** "We have a medicine for any ailment caused by our previous medicine."
** "You might have gone blind even without taking our product."
** "See what everyone's suing about."
** "We'll put a smile on your face. And sometimes your spine."
** "Your body will thank you, because your torso has grown a mouth."
** "If you've never heard of us, we may have caused your memory loss."
** "One man's medical malpractice is another man's anatomical skeleton."
** "Quality pharmaceuticals since 1989. Established 1910."
** "We never settle for less. We settle out of court."
** Colbert also does this with parodies of {{Enforced Plug}}s for real companies, such as "Mazda: It's not your father's Oldsmobile. ''({{Beat}})'' Because it's a Mazda."
* ''Series/TheDailyShow'' often used terrible slogans to comedic effect when titling segments. Often they have a joke about pedophilia.
** For a children's interest segment: "Jon Stewart Looks at Children's Things."
** A segment with cartoons: "Jon Stewart's Story Hole! Remember, it's our little secret."
** A segment on the negative influence of Twitter: "Jon Stewart Looks at Kid's Junk."
** For a segment on finding a job, the writers hit an increasingly exasperated Jon with more and more overtly sexual slogans. It goes from "Jon Stewart Fills the Openings" to "Jon Stewart Puts You in Unusual Positions" to "Jon Stewart Gives You a HAND and a JOB."
* ''Series/TheLeagueOfGentlemen's'' Legz Akimbo theatre troupe display their slogan on their van: "Put yourself inside a child". The town of Royston Vasey itself is "You'll Never Leave!" which has omninous undertones.
* ''Series/HomeImprovement'' had a couple of these with Tim plugging Binford Tools on his ShowWithinAShow.
-->"If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else makes it."
-->"If your tool says 'Binford' -- GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! TOOLS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO TALK TO YA!"
* On ''Series/TheFallAndRiseOfReginaldPerrin'', Reggie puts together a company to make and sell useless items. In keeping with this theme, he hires his incompetent son-in-law to create slogans for the firm.
-->'''Tom:''': "Go to Grot Shops and get an eyeful/of Perrin's products with a wide range of goods that are really pretty awful." \\
'''Reggie''': It ''almost'' rhymes and scans properly, that's the important thing. This is exactly what I'm paying you for.\\
'''Tom:''': Thank you. Well, I'll just give you one more, perhaps: 'Grot is the ideal place for gifts/ because they're all on one floor/ so there aren't any lifts.' They aren't all of that standard, of course.
* On AprilFoolsDay 1975, most of the products in ''Series/ThePriceIsRight'''s gag Showcase were described in a satirical manner. The cheap "organ" [[note]]the actual prop used was an early electronic keyboard built in an organ-style case[[/note]] was described as "Guaranteed to make you popular... unless people don't like you!"
* In an episode of ''Series/ABitOfFryAndLaurie'' that was supposedly ProductPlacement for "Tidyman's Carpets," Hugh delivered their slogan: "[[DoubleEntendre The deep shag that really satisfies.]]"
* ''Series/ParksAndRecreation'' being a {{mockumentary}} about a town in Indiana, had a whole collection of bad slogans that were used throughout the history of the town. Highlights include: 1974-1976 slogan "Entering Pawnee, Engage with Zorp" after the town was taken over by a cult, the 1977-1985 slogan "It's Safe to be Here Now", and their current slogan "Pawnee: First in Friendship, Fourth in Obesity". Find them [[http://www.nbc.com/parks-and-recreation/photos/pawnee-town-slogans/153776 here]].
* Dalton Humphrey's less than inspiring "We got stuff...maybe buy some" on ''Series/TheRedGreenShow''.
* Starbix in ''Series/TheHitchHikersGuideToTheGalaxy1981'' (the breakfast cereal that the ''Guide'' cribbed all that "Space" stuff from the back of) has the slogan "[[IfItTastesBadItMustBeGoodForYou Nasty ... but nourishing]]", a parody of the National Dairy Council's contemporary cream cake adverts, which had the slogan "Naughty. But nice".
* ''Series/CornerGas'': The talent show in the episode [[Recap/CornerGasS1E08CousinCarl "Cousin Carl"]] is sponsored by Chuck Dragner's Pre-Owned Farm Equipment. Wanda, acting as MC, reads his slogan, "If you can't trust the Chuck you're talking to, you're talking to the wrong guy named Chuck," then tells Chuck that he needs a better slogan.
* ''Series/LosEspookys'': Renaldo's business card for Los Espookys, a group that uses special effects to fake supernatural phenomena, features the slogan "We're not ghostbusters... It's different."

[[folder:Puppet Shows]]
* Not just a FreezeFrameBonus, but an enhanced zoom one, [[http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100906033907/muppet/images/e/e6/Hoopersstoremarmalade.jpg Hooper's Store Marmalade]] in ''Series/SesameStreet'' has the slogan "If you've tried the best ... then it's time to try ours!" It's also "Made exclusively from free-range fruits and barks!"
[[/folder]]

* French Canadian Francois Perusse's radio skits ''Les Deux Minutes du Peuple'' frequently feature those. Notable example includes community radio CDKC (loosely translates from french to "broken CD") that uses a different one with every station ID and the man calling various businesses over the phone, each one [[HurricaneOfPuns answering with their slogan.]]

* ''Radio/TheDGeneration'''s spoof radio ads usually ended with one of these, such as "The Slag Club! Not just a nightclub, but a cheap hotel someone slapped a coat of paint on and renamed!".

* Music/TomPetty claimed his [=SiriusXM=] ''Buried Treasures'' show was recorded at Rick's Airport Recorders, offering the best sound in the Los Angeles Airport area.

* In the ''VideoGame/{{Zork}}'' universe, Frobozz Electric, the evil technology conglomerate which replaced Frobozz Magic in the wake of the Magic Inquisition, has numerous such slogans in their public address announcements in ''VideoGame/ZorkGrandInquisitor''. Among these:
** "Frobozz Electric: We are the boss of you"
** "Frobozz Electric: We bring bad things to life" [[note]]A parody of General Electric (GE)'s former slogan, "We bring good things to life".[[/note]]
** "Frobozz Electric: We bring good things to ourselves" [[note]]This one too.[[/note]]

* In ''VideoGame/{{Megatraveller}}'', SMIRC (The Spinward Marches Interplanetary Raiding Corporation, aka organized ''space pirates'') have the slogan "We have what it takes to take what you have!"
* The default slogan for the Liberal cause in ''VideoGame/LiberalCrimeSquad'' is "We Need A Slogan!" Squad members can intimidate Conservatives by shouting the slogan or use the slogan as their last words.

* [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 Mann Co.]] "We sell products and get in fights!"

-->-- '''Creator/EddieIzzard'''

* ''VideoGame/FallenLondon''
* -* The Echo Bazaar has some normal-sounding slogans, but the one for Nikolas Pawnbrokers is a little unsettling:

* Possibly not meant to be the official, maker-approved slogan, but the supermarket PA system in the ''WesternAnimation/{{Arthur}}'' episode "D.W. Gets Lost" advertises a sale on chocolate-covered cabbage, "the dessert that makes you go 'Bleagh!'"
* ''WesternAnimation/ElliottFromEarth'' has an alien junkfood called "Kretzels". The slogan on the bag is "Now banned in 4 galaxies!"
* in one episode of ''WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty'', Jerry proposes the advertising slogan, "Hungry for apples?"

* SelfDeprecationr: [[TitleDrop "Our slogan is terrible."]]

* SelfDeprecatingHumor: [[TitleDrop "Our slogan is terrible."]]

* According to ''Radio/TheNewsQuiz'', [[UsefulNotes/TheMidlands Leicester]] now plays on its royal connotations with the slogan "Leicester: We found a skeleton in a carpark once". This replaces the previous slogan "Leicester: At least it's not Derby".

** In ''Literature/SoulMusic'', Plugger the shoemaker comes up with "'''PLUGGERS'''. They've Got Soles. [[AC: Feel the Nales]]."

* ''Webcomic/{{Precocious}}: Do-Dah's, known for making mediocre ice cream has "Look, it's ice cream. Isn't that enough?"

* Some of the short videos created by ''Music/SteamPoweredGiraffe'' are ads for the fictitious company, Walter Robotics. Their slogan is simply, "Walter Robotics: We Make Robots."
** And G.G. the Giraffe outright points it out at the end of one: "That is a '''terrible''' slogan. You should have ''me'' write it next time."
* ''WebVideo/BrainscratchCommentaries''' playthrough of ''[[VideoGame/MarioParty Mario Party 4]]'' gives us one. A minigame called Order Up has you find food items on a conveyor belt as Toad calls them out. After one game, Ted coins the slogan '[[RandomNumberGenerator RNG]] Café: You ''may'' like it'.

** The Echo Bazaar has some normal-sounding slogans, but the one for Nikolas Pawnbrokers is a little unsettling:

--> "Celebrating Twenty Years Without An Apostrophe"

--> "Made from real spiders. Not just the juice."

-->''Ship it: Bad at marketing, great at boats!''