History Main / OpenRelationshipFailure

One common variation, which overlaps the OriginalPositionFallacy, is that one partner ''says'' they want an open relationship but then balks when their romantic partner actually does hook up with other people. This is frequently played as [[AllMenArePerverts a man looking for permission to step out on his female partner]], only for him to then become an EmasculatedCuckold when ''she'' turns out to be better at getting dates than him.

** Played for laughs in "[[Recap/BonesS4E3ManInTheOuthouse Man in the Outhouse]]". Bones dates two men at the same time, arguing that one provides her with intellectual stimulation and the other with physical. She neglected to actually inform either paramour that she would be pursuing this arrangement, and therefore [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome both men promptly dump her when they find out about each other]], leaving Bones to ruefully "consider the argument for monogamy."

There can also be cases where an Alice wants to be polyamorous, while her partner Bob does not, but he knows that if he asks for monogamy that will end with Alice breaking up with him. Accepting polyamory a condition of continuing the relationship. Bob reluctantly agrees to it and tries to put on a happy face and convince himself and those around them he's actually okay with it, with varying degrees of success.

* ''Series/Roseanne'': After Darlene goes away to college, it's revealed that she's sleeping with a fellow college boy while still dating her longterm boyfriend David. He's aware of the situation and seems initially accepting, since Darlene frames it as wanting ''some'' experience other than just marrying the first boy she ever dated, and he believes she'll get it out of her system and choose him in the end. He can wait. Roseanne [[EmasculatedCuckold can't believe any male would accept this]] and needles David to stick up for himself, causing him to finally snap and demand that Darlene choose between him and "the other guy". She chooses the other guy.

There can also be cases where a polyamorous person is in a relationship with someone who is not and makes the other character accepting polyamory a condition of continuing the relationship. The partner reluctantly agrees to it and tries to put on a happy face and convince themself and those around them they're actually okay with it, with varying degrees of success.

* ''Series/InterviewWithTheVampire2022'': Lestat de Lioncourt and Louis de Pointe du Lac are vampire lovers who plan to spend eternity together. In "[[Recap/InterviewWithTheVampire2022S1E3IsMyVeryNatureThatOfADevil Is My Very Nature That of a Devil]]", Lestat initiates the open relationship because he believes "a little variety" will prevent their romance from going stale (never mind that they've only been together for barely six years when he makes this suggestion). Both men end up being very jealous about their partner's other paramours.

* ''Series/InterviewWithTheVampire2022'': Lestat de Lioncourt and Louis de Pointe du Lac are vampire lovers who plan to spend eternity together. In "[[Recap/InterviewWithTheVampire2022S1E3IsMyVeryNatureThatOfADevil Is My Very Nature That of a Devil]]", Lestat initiates the open relationship because he believes "a little variety" will prevent their romance from going stale (never mind that that they've only been together for barely six years when he makes this suggestion). Both men end up being very jealous about their partner's other paramours.

* ''Series/InterviewWithTheVampire2022'': Lestat and Louis are vampire lovers who plan to spend eternity together. Lestat suggests that an open relationship is a practical way to help them stay interested in each other over the long term (never mind that they've only been together for a few years when he makes this suggestion). Both men end up being very jealous of their partner's other lovers.

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
* ''Manga/GirlfriendGirlfriend'' is about a boy who manages to start a relationship with his childhood friend right before another girl who was hoping to earn his affection confesses to him. Unable to decide which girl to date, he decides to try and convince both girls to date him at the same time. This quickly leads to one problem after another, and it only gets more complicated as other girls start to try getting in on the action.

** In another episode, a man is left hospitalized, and he has a wife and a lover visit him in the hospital, both well aware of the other. [[spoiler: The attempt was made by the wife, who was incensed that her husband never made love to her first in their trysts with the other woman.]]

* ''Series/PushingDaisies'': Downplayed in "[[Recap/PushingDaisiesS1E6Bitches Bitches]]". When Ned reawakens [[BodyOfTheWeek dog breeder Harold Hundin]] from the dead to ask who killed him, he says his wife killed him. The team quickly finds out this is not so cut-and-dry, since Hundin had four wives. While the murder turns out to have more to do with the new dog Harold and his wives invented, a Coll-A-Dor-Russell-A-Poo [[note]]Cross-breed of a Border Collie, a Labrador Retriever, a Jack Russell Terrier, and a Poodle, the dog breeds each of his wives owned[[/note]] named Bubblegum, the murder was still connected to the polygamous marriage situation. [[spoiler: Harold's first wife Hilary is revealed to have not been happy that she couldn't be her husband's one-and-only. She put up with it and took solace in the one-of-a-kind Bubblegum, until Harold mentioned his plans to clone the dog with a rival breeder, setting Hilary off.]]
-->'''Narrator:''' So [[spoiler: Hilary]] made her own decision. Refusing to subject her baby to the same tortuous, shared existence she had been cursed to live... [[spoiler: Hilary]] poisoned Harold and framed Hallie to take any fall, knowing good Hallie served, but did not drink, caffeine herself.

One common variation, which overlaps the OriginalPositionFallacy, is that one partner ''says'' they want an open relationship, but then balks when their romantic partner actually does hook up with other people. This is frequently played as [[AllMenArePerverts a man looking for permission to step out on his female partner]], only for him to then become an EmasculatedCuckold when ''she'' turns out to be better at getting dates than him.

There can also be cases where a polyamorous person is in a relationship with someone who is not, and makes the other character accepting polyamory a condition of continuing the relationship. The partner reluctantly agrees to it, and tries to put on a happy face and convince themself and those around them they're actually okay with it, with varying degrees of success.

* Discussed in ''Film/ChasingAmy'': When there's growing tension between between Holden, Banky, and Alyssa, Holden proposes that the three of them have sex together; to Holden, not only would it resolve the tension between the three of them, but it would also help Banky deal with his latent homosexuality, and it would make Holden feel less inadequate compared to Alyssa (as she's had a much more adventurous sexual history than Holden). However, Alyssa outlines several reasons why it's a terrible idea (and even tries to shoot down the idea before Holden finishes outlining his proposal); specific reasons she lists include the possibility that Banky would do something to her that would either make her love ''him'' more than Holden or make Holden jealous, and the fact that she loved Holden and couldn't stand the thought that he'd want to share her with anyone else. The three ultimately end up going their separate ways not long afterward.

-->'''Tobias:''' You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised a number of couples to explore an open relationship where the couple remains emotionally committed, but free to explore extra-marital encounters.\\

* In the ''Series/{{Friends}}'' episode "[[Recap/FriendsS1E6TheOneWithTheButt The One with the Butt]]", Chandler dates a polyamorist woman named Aurora, who already has a husband and a boyfriend. Chandler accepts being the third guy for a while but when she admits she's started seeing a fourth man he decides it's too much for him and breaks up with her.
-->'''Chandler:''' Oh, so what you're saying is you're not completely fulfilled by Rick, Ethan and myself?\\

* ''Series/InterviewWithTheVampire2022'': Lestat and Louis are vampire lovers who plan to spend eternity together. Lestat suggests that an open relationship is a practical way to help them stay interested in each other over the long-term (never mind that that they've only been together for a few years when he makes this suggestion). Both men end up being very jealous about their partner's other lovers.

--> '''Narrator:''' So [[spoiler: Hilary]] made her own decision. Refusing to subject her baby to the same tortuous, shared existence she had been cursed to live... [[spoiler: Hilary]] poisoned Harold and framed Hallie to take any fall, knowing good Hallie served, but did not drink, caffeine herself.
* ''Series/SWAT2017'': During season two, Chris goes on a date with a woman called Kira who reveals she already has a boyfriend named Ty, and that the pair of them are polyamorists looking for an equal third. Being bisexual, Chris decides to give it a try and is initially happy, finding it fulfilling and that their personalities compliment hers. However, as time goes on Chris begins to realize that due to being initially attracted to Kira she is always going to be closer to her than Ty, whilst despite their best efforts the fact they were already together before they met her means that Kira and Ty will always be closer to each other than her. Realizing its not going to work out, she breaks up with them.

* ''Webcomic/{{SSDD}}'': Richard as part of his backstory inserted himself into a three-way relationship with a lesbian couple, Crystal and Red. It went wrong when Red started falling for Richard and neglecting Crystal, then tried to dump her which neither Crystal nor Richard wanted and led to the whole relationship falling apart[[note]]when Red recounts it years later she blames herself, but much later Richard admits to Annie that he wanted Crystal and tried to use the bisexual Red to get around Crystal's IncompatibleOrientation with him[[/note]]. Meanwhile in the "present day" of the comic Richard's current girlfriend Annie screws other men behind his back, until an old friend of his suggests they do a wife-swap and she fesses up out of guilt. Afterwards Richard and Annie decide to be mature about it and work out an arrangement where they inform one another of their casual sex partners.

* ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'': In "[[Recap/AmericanDadS3E16WhenaStanLovesaWoman When a Stan Loves a Women]]", Stan gets upset over the fact that Francine [[ReallyGetsAround had multiple partners before they got married]], while she's the only only woman he's ever slept with. Francine tells him that she never loved any of her other men in the same way she loves him, and agrees to a temporary divorce to give him the chance to have some meaningless sex of his own. But when he meets Joanna and they seem to really hit it off, Francine gets paranoid that they'll fall in love and he'll choose Joanna and stay divorced from her. He does, but ultimately goes back to Francine after she interrupts his wedding night with Joanna.

[[folder:Literature]]
* Creator/RoaldDahl's "The Great Switcheroo" has the narrator (Vic) persuade his neighbor Jerry to pull a BedTrick on their respective wives. They compare notes on their respective lovemaking techniques, with Jerry disparaging Vic's. After the deed is done, Vic is less than happy to learn that his wife never enjoyed sex with him up until last night.
[[/folder]]

* ''Series/SWAT2017'': During season two, Chris goes on a date with a woman called Kira who reveals she already has a boyfriend named Ty, and that the pair of them are polyamorists looking for an equal third. Being bisexual, Chris decides to give it try and is initially happy finding it fulfilling and that their personalities compliment hers. However, as time goes on Chris begins to realise that due to being initially attracted to Kira she is always going to closer to her than Ty, whilst despite their best efforts the fact they were already together before they met her means that Kira and Ty will always be closer to each other than her. Realising its not going to work out, she breaks up with them.

* ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'': In "[[Recap/FuturamaM2TheBeastWithABillionBacks The Beast With a Bllion Backs]]", Fry falls in love with a new woman called Colleen. It seems to go well until he discovers that she has four other boyfriends and maintains a polygamous relationship. He tries to maintain his side and moves in, but he finds it difficult to maintain a conversation when several other boyfriends are involved and is quickly overwhelmed to the point of breaking up with her.

->'''Harris Telemacher:''' You must have a boyfriend?
->'''[=SanDeE*=]:''' He doesn't care. He can't care. He gave me this big speech, how even though we live together, we should be able to see other people. I said ok. But it backfires on him sometimes.
->'''Harris:''' Where is he now?
->'''[=SanDeE*=]:''' He's at the bar.
->'''Harris:''' ''What?!''
->'''[=SanDeE*=]:''' This was his idea. ''(yells to the boyfriend, who looks annoyed)'' This is him!

-->'''Tobias:''' You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised a number of couples to explore an open relationship where the couple remains emotionally committed, but free to explore extra-marital encounters.
-->'''Lindsay:''' Well, did it work for those people?
-->'''Tobias:''' No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might... but it might work for us.

-->'''Chandler:''' Oh, so what you're saying is you're not completely fulfilled by Rick, Ethan and myself?
-->'''Aurora:''' No, that's not exactly what I was..
-->'''Chandler:''' Well, y'know, most women would kill for three guys like us.