History Main / NoSympathyForGrudgeholders

* In the ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'' episode "Squid's Defense", after learning how to defend himself through karate, Squidward goes to beat up a thug that tries to steal his groceries earlier, but finds out that it was going to return them to him. An ashamed [=SpongeBob=] and Sandy scold Squidward for using karate for vengeance and not self-defense and took off his karate belt, followed by Squidward being arrested.

** In-Universe, House Frey are seen this way. They hate their fellow nobles who look at them as NouveauRiche and upstarts, while their fellow nobles resent House Frey because they are petty in settling their grudges and refuse to render leal service to their Liege Lords without asking for the tiniest advantage and leg-up. This leads to a SelfFulfillingProphecy and even if, the Freys had genuine grievances towards Robb Stark, [[spoiler:their cruel massacre at the Red Wedding is so much a MoralEventHorizon that everybody wants the Freys dead]].

* In Creator/GeorgeRRMartin's ''Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire'' most of the problems in the feudal society happens because everybody holds on to grudges and refuses to learn how to forgive. Stannis Baratheon is perpetually angry that he is not respected as is Tyrion Lannister, Ned Stark towards the Lannisters and later, [[spoiler:the undead who returns to perpetuate her cycle of revenge]]. Likewise Daenerys Targaryen refuses to see the enemies of her psychotic father as anything other than "usurper's dogs".

* In ''Film/BatmanBegins'', Rachel is offended that Bruce is still dwelling on the murder of his parents and had planned to murder Joe Chill, and she slaps him for it.

* In ''Film/HomeAlone 2'', Buzz humiliates Kevin during the Christmas concert, and between Buzz's prank and Kevin's retaliation, the concert is ruined. Later, in front of the family, Buzz (insincerely) apologizes to Kevin for what he did, then covertly taunts Kevin about it. Kevin refuses to accept the apology or apologize for his own actions. The result is that Buzz receives no punishment while Kevin is banished to the attic for the night.

* In the sequel to ''Fanfic/ProjectSunflower'', after months of silent treatment, Meadowlark walks in on Erin having dinner with Marigold at Ditzy and Dinky's house. It leads to a confrontation between Ditzy and Meadowlark the next day, and when the latter threatens to break up Marigold and Dinky's friendship if Erin doesn't move house, Erin snaps and tells her that she's given them more than enough time. "If you want our friendship to be over, that's fine! Just tell me so I stop hanging on and hoping you'll forgive me one day. But I won't let you blame me for your decisions!"

One character has done wrong, which upsets or [[BerserkButton enrages]] another character. But the offending character sincerely apologizes to the wronged party and asks for their forgiveness and start all over again. Much to his displeasure, the wronged party [[RejectedApology rejects his apology and vows to never forgive him for what he's done]].

And along came this trope. As a result for the character's unforgiving approach and his tendency to hold a grudge, they soon find out that he is [[WhatTheHellHero receiving criticism and antagonism from other characters for not being forgiving to the wrongdoer]]. They knew that the person's apology was very sincere and it was the appropriate for the other to forgive. They may know that the more the character holds a grudge, [[HeWhoFightsMonsters he will be just as bad as the one who wronged him]]. The grudgeholder may realize that the remorseful character is emotionally distraught or will become furious of the other character's lack of forgiveness.

This can be taken to ridiculous levels if the wrongdoer never apologizes for his actions or at least his apology isn't sincere enough, yet the wronged character gets flak for not forgiving him, which brings to the FamilyUnfriendlyAesop to [[EasilyForgiven forgive one another]] [[TheFarmerAndTheViper even if they still continue to torture you]]. When it's bad enough, the grudgeholder may well let go of their grudge and sincerely apologize to the people around, but then people will still hold him in a bad position, [[CycleOfRevenge creating a chain of grudgeholders.]] One reason why this provokes such anger is that if you refuse to accept reparations, you may end up making your destruction a tactical necessity for someone who has nothing against you and maybe never did; a form of DontMakeMeDestroyYou.

Many revenge-related plots will involve a character successfully carrying out their revenge on their tormentor, but as a result, their loved ones [[WhatTheHellHero will become ashamed of him]] and abandon him. It's possible for them to feel [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone remorseful for carrying out revenge]], and may [[TheAtoner undo the damage that revenge has caused.]] [[IgnoredEpiphany Or maybe not.]] Expect this trope to be enforced in a work focusing on a character to [[AnAesop learn]] how to {{forgive|ness}}.

The opposite of PunishedForSympathy where a character receives contempt from others for showing pity, kindness, and mercy to the offender. This can be one of the ways where character is MadeOutToBeAJerkass. A subtrope of TheComplainerIsAlwaysWrong. If the character has more deeply injured a third party, the OrderedApology may be demanded for forgiveness. Can be due to the belief that IfYouKillHimYouWillBeJustLikeHim or IfYouTauntHimYouWillBeJustLikeHim. Somewhat TruthInTelevision.

-->--'''[[Literature/TheBible Matthew 6:15]]'''

And along came this trope. As a result for the character's unforgiving approach and his tendency to hold a grudge, they soon find out that he is receiving criticism and antagonism from other characters for not being forgiving to the wrongdoer. They knew that the person's apology was very sincere and it was the appropriate for the other to forgive. They may know that the more the character holds a grudge, [[HeWhoFightsMonsters he will be just as bad as the one who wronged him]]. The grudgeholder may realize that the remorseful character is emotionally distraught or will become furious of the other character's lack of forgiveness.

* ''Manga/RurouniKenshin'': [[BigBad Yukishiro]] [[BiggerBad Enishi]] causes much of the strife and violence, both indirectly and directly, that occurs in the series. He is angry at Kenshin Himura for having [[spoiler: unwittingly killed his sister Tomoe in an accident that occurred during the Meiji Revolution]]. Even after Kenshin's repeated genuine apologies for that tragedy, [[FreudianExcuse Enishi still wishes]] [[DisproportionateRetribution to make the lives of him and his friends and family a living hell]]. Thus, Kenshin calls him out on these unjustified acts that have cost numerous people their lives because Enishi wanted revenge rather than forgiving Kenshin as he should have in the first place.

* In Louisa May Alcott's ''Little Men'', Jack leaves a letter saying that neither Nat nor Dan had stolen the money and runs away. His father sends him back. Professor Bhaer informs that he will have to apologize to the boy he stole from, and the boys he let suffer under the suspicion, and Jack is sulky because he had said he was sorry in the letter. The professor tells him he will have to work to regain trust.

[[AC: Anime & Manga]]

The opposite of PunishedForSympathy where a character receives contempt from others for showing pity, kindness, and mercy to the offender. This can be one of the ways where character is MadeOutToBeAJerkass. A subtrope of TheComplainerIsAlwaysWrong. If the character has more deeply injured a third party, the OrderedApology may be demanded for forgiveness. Can be due to the belief that IfYouKillHimYouWillBeJustLikeHim or IfYouTauntHimYouWillBeJustLikeHim.

* In [[Literature/TheBible Matthew 6:15]], Jesus states to his disciples that if a person doesn't forgive the transgressor, then neither will God forgive the person who doesn't forgive, which implicates that holding a grudge will land you in hell. This pretty much makes sense considering that Jesus wants humanity to forgive one another because God has done the same to them.

* In ''Literature/HouseOfNight'', [[TheDragon Rephaim]] [[spoiler:murders Dragon's wife]]. He later switches sides, and the heroine is shocked- ''[[MoralDissonance shocked]]''- that Dragon doesn't forgive Rephaim.

Many revenge-related plots will involve a character successfully carrying out their revenge on their tormentor, but as a result, their loved ones [[WhatTheHellHero will become ashamed of him]] and abandon him. It's possible for them to feel [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone remorseful for carrying out revenge]], and may [[TheAtoner undo the damage that revenge has caused.]] [[IgnoredEpiphany Or maybe not.]]

One character has done wrong, which upsets or [[BerserkButton enrages]] another character. But the offending character sincerely apologizes to the wronged party and asks for their forgiveness and start all over again. Much to his displeasure, the wronged party [[RejectedApology rejects his apology vows to never forgive him for what he's done]].

* Yukishiro Enishi, ''Manga/RurouniKenshin'' causes much of the strife and violence, both indirectly and directly, that occurs in the series. He is angry at Kenshin Himura for having [[spoiler: unwittingly killed his sister Tomoe in an accident that occurred during the Meiji Revolution]]. Even after Kenshin's repeated genuine apologies for that tragedy, [[FreudianExcuse Enishi still wishes]] [[DisproportionateRetribution to make the lives of him and his friends and family a living hell]]. Thus, Kenshin calls him out on these unjustified acts that have cost numerous people their lives because Enishi wanted revenge rather than forgiving Kenshin as he should have in the first place.

Many revenge-related plots will involve a character successfully carrying out their revenge on their tormentor, but as a result, their loved ones [[WhatTheHellHero will become ashamed of him]] and abandon him. It's possible for them to feel [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone remorseful for carrying out revenge]], and may [[TheAtoner undo the damage that revenge has caused.]]

->For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

* In ''Film/HomeAlone 2'', Buzz humiliates Kevin during the Christmas concert, and between Buzz's prank and Kevin's retaliation, the concert is ruined. Later, in front of the family, Buzz (insincerely) apologizes to Kevin for what he did. Kevin refuses to accept the apology or apologize for his own actions. The result is that Buzz receives no punishment while Kevin is banished to the attic for the night.

This can be taken to ridiculous levels if the wrongdoer never apologizes for his actions or at least his apology isn't sincere enough, yet the wronged character gets flak for not forgiving him, which brings to the FamilyUnfriendlyAesop to [[EasilyForgiven forgive one another]] [[TheFarmerAndTheViper even if they're still continue to torture you]]. When it's bad enough, the grudgeholder may well let go of their grudge and sincerely apologize to the people around, but then people will still hold him in a bad position, [[CycleOfRevenge creating a chain of grudgeholders.]] One reason why this provokes such anger is that if you refuse to accept reparations, you may end up making your destruction a tactical necessity for someone who has nothing against you and maybe never did; a form of DontMakeMeDestroyYou.

* In ''Literature/PercyJacksonAndTheOlympians'' Nico holds a book-long grudge against Percy for [[spoiler:Bianca's death]], even if it wasn't his fault and Percy apologizes profusely. Bianca herself tells him to knock it off, and that holding grudges is the FatalFlaw for children of Hades. In the sequel series, he seems to have gotten over his grudge-holding, but he reveals under duress that he irrationally resents Annabeth for [[spoiler:ending up with Percy, when Nico had feelings for him.]]