History Main / NeverNeedsSharpening

* Dyson vacuum cleaners. The last infomercial contained a testimonial from a young man who looked to be about thirty years old, stating that "every Dyson he'd ever owned" worked great. He was on his fifth Dyson and he loved it. Sounds like a great testimonial, but [[FridgeLogic think about it for a moment]]: a thirty-year-old man who has owned five vacuums must be replacing his vacuum every ''two years''. This is not a mobile phone or a laptop that needs to be upgraded regularly, it's a vacuum. All it does is suck up dirt. There is no reason to buy a new one unless the old one breaks down and can't be repaired. A vacuum costing what a Dyson does should last between twenty and thirty years. So why is this guy on his fifth vacuum?

** Even better, the Go uses a different type of memory card and headphone jack than its cousin so you'll have to buy new ones, and the Go's different dimensions means it won't fit in carrying cases designed for the regular PSP

* And then there's Dyson. Its last infomercial contained a testimonial from a young man who looked to be about thirty years old, stating that "every Dyson he'd ever owned" worked great. He was on his fifth Dyson and he loved it. Sounds like a great testimonial, but [[FridgeLogic think about it for a moment]]: a thirty-year-old man who has owned five vacuums must be replacing his vacuum every ''two years''. This is not a mobile phone or a laptop that needs to be upgraded regularly, it's a vacuum. All it does is suck up dirt. There is no reason to buy a new one unless the old one breaks down and can't be repaired. A vacuum costing what a Dyson does should last between twenty and thirty years. So why is this guy on his fifth vacuum?

** One has to wonder if they have a partnership with the exact opposite companies like Cash4Gold who are urging you to send in your unwanted gold, silver, platinum, or whatever jewelry and get cash in return...with, of course, the company you're sending your jewelry to deciding on exactly how MUCH cash you get in return. Actually quite hilarious on the occasions when commercials for these two types of companies air sequentially.

** One has to wonder if they have a partnership with the exact opposite companies like Cash4Gold who are urging you to send in your unwanted gold, silver, platinum, or whatever jewelry and get cash in return...with, of course, the company you're sending your jewelry to deciding on exactly how MUCH cash you get in return.

Those thin, brittle serrated knives that can't be sharpened suddenly "never need sharpening". Those silicon oven mitts that fall apart in the washing machine "clean up with plain water - no detergent needed!" And so on. Allows the advertiser to show people TooIncompetentToOperateABlanket attempting to sharpen knives, etc. and failing miserably.

* Miracle Blade uses the same phrase for the same reason. They also spin the thinness of the blade in an attempt to muddle the concepts of sharpness and thinness in viewers' minds. Chef Tony can slice food more thinly than you can because he's practiced doing that for the routine, not because his knife is thinner than yours (and just how thin do you need your food anyway?). Thin blades wear out more quickly and can even snap during use, sending shards of sharp metal flying around the place. (And possibly into your food)

** Not to worry, it looks like they are developing an [[http://www.product-reviews.net/2009/12/03/psp-go-umd-drive-add-on-from-logitech/ add-on UMD drive]], so you can get all the functionality of a traditional PSP, [[WallBanger but with more kludge]].

* In the world of software, you might hear the phrase "It's not a bug, it's a feature!"

** Sounds like a pretty solid reason to combine this trope and JediTruth.

** Maybe this tea tastes better and therefore people drink more of it?

* Natural fiber yarns are dyed in "lots". Knitters have to be careful that all the yarn they buy for a specific project is from the same dye lot or there could be a noticeable difference in colour after washing. Manufacturers of cheap scratchy acrylic yarn are now advertising that their product is superior because ithas no inconvenient dye lots. That's because acrylic isn't dyed per se: the manufacturers simply add the dye to the petrochemical goo they make the yarn from.

* Of course, estate agents have been doing this for years. No, that house isn't small, it's... cosy! That one isn't over a kebab shop on a main road with 24/7 traffic, it's "moments away from local amenities"!

-->'''[[TheSimpsons Marge Simpson]]''': But that one's on fire!
-->'''[[WhyDoYouKeepChangingJobs Lionel Hutz]]''': ...Motivated seller!

* Miracle Blade uses the same phrase for the same reason. They also spin the thinness of the blade in an attempt to muddle the concepts of sharpness and thinness in viewers' minds. Chef Tony can slice food more thinly than you can because he's practiced doing that for the routine, not because his knife is thinner than yours (and just how thin do you need your food anyway?). Thin blades wear out more quickly and can even snap during use, sending shards of sharp metal flying around the place.

* A recent commercial for a brand of tea touts the health benefits of drinking more water, then lets its viewers know that women who drink their tea get more water than those who drink the leading brand. How one brand of tea can ''contain more water'' than another is left as an exercise the the reader.

** Speaking as someone who sports some bread-making scars... You don't notice how little friction there is between your hand and a fabric oven mitt, and between that mitt and a hot ceramic dish, except at the worst possible time. It can't handle washing (partially) because Kevlar has poor water resistance and the coating that protects the Kevlar fibers will be destroyed by detergent, just like any other Kevlar/Nomex high temperature glove that isn't specifically designed to be waterproof. Really, it's comparable to high-temperature equipment used in certain industries, in terms of both price and quality of construction. Doesn't make the commercials any less stupid, though.

** Dyson keeps upgrading, and he's a rich tech addict?

** If it's bottled tea, it's more watered down?

* The Snuggie is made from heavy synthetic material that doesn't breathe. In the commercials it "locks your body heat in, keeping you snug and warm all evening long".
** It's a blanket. Do you really want a blanket that is breathable, and therefore doesn't "lock your body heat in"? That's how a blanket works.

* Of course, estate agents have been doing this for years. No, that house isn't small, it's... cosy! That one isn't over a kebab shop on a main road, it's "moments away from local amenities"!

* Any kitchen implement that "cleans up in a snap - a quick rinse and you're ready to go!" is probably not dishwasher-safe.
* A recent commercial for a brand of tea touts the health benefits of drinking more water, then lets its viewers know that women who drink their tea get more water than those who drink the leading brand. Pretty soon you [[FridgeLogic realize]] that this just means their tea is more watery than the other brand.

* Miracle Blade uses the same phrase for the same reason. They also spin the thinness of the blade in an attempt to muddle the concepts of sharpness and thinness in viewers' minds. Chef Tony can slice food more thinly than you can because he's an experienced sous chef, not because his knife is thinner than yours (and just how thin do you need your food anyway?). Thin blades wear out more quickly and can even snap during use, sending shards of sharp metal flying around the place.