History Main / MyOwnPrivateIDo

* In ''Series/{{Castle}}'', after Castle's sudden disappearance and subsequent amnesia prevented him from marrying Beckett as they had planned, the two of them were in a holding pattern as the reconsidered suitable wedding dates. Toward the end of "The Time Of Your Life", when Castle saw [[ItsAWonderfulPlot a world in which he and Beckett never met]], he decided that he did not want to delay their wedding a minute longer. Beckett agreed and the two of them were married in an intimate service attended by their immediate family.

Both types are a major TruthInTelevision. The Trope name is a play on the title of the film ''Film/MyOwnPrivateIdaho'', which has [[JustForPun absolutely nothing to do with this trope.]] See also AltarTheSpeed, MetaphoricalMarriage and {{Elopement}}.

* In the ''WesternAnimation/BojackHorseman'' series finale, when Bojack is surprised that Judah would leave ''his own wedding'' to work, Princess Carolyn admits that the two of them had a private ceremony a week ago and ''this'' wedding was simply for networking purposes. Bojack is offended that he wasn't important enough to be invited to the real wedding, but flattered that he's still considered important enough to attend the industry one, considering all that happened.

Both types are a major TruthInTelevision. The Trope name is a play on the title of the film ''Film/MyOwnPrivateIdaho'', which has [[JustForPun absolutely nothing to do with this trope.]] See also AltarTheSpeed and MetaphoricalMarriage.

* ''Literature/TheBandsOfMourning'' begins with a [[NobilityMarriesMoney political wedding]] between Wax and Steris, attended by their relatives, with an elaborate ceremony in a nice church. That wedding gets crashed [[spoiler:by Wax's best friend Wayne, who doesn't think they should get married]], and the church is ruined. Wax likes Steris and wants to keep his word to marry her, but he isn't sure he loves her until they go adventuring together. The book ends with them getting married in a small chapel with a simple ceremony attended only by the priest (who was informed of this ahead of time). As Wax points out, they don't need to give their relatives and friends a wedding because they already had one, just one that [[ExactWords didn't end with a marriage]].

* In ''Series/MyWifeAndKids'' Junior and Vanessa marry in Las Vegas to escape from a over-the-top marriage.

* In the ''WesternAnimation/BojackHorseman'' series finale, when Bojack is surprised that Judah would leave ''his own wedding'' to work, Princess Carolyn admits that the two of them had a private ceremony a week ago and ''this'' wedding was simply for networking purposes. Bojack's offended that he wasn't important enough to be invited to the real wedding, but flattered that he's still considered important enough to attend the industry wedding, considering all that happened.

* In the United States, seven states[[note]]California, Colorado, Illinois, Kansas, Maine, Nevada, and Pennsylvania[[/note]] and the District of Columbia offer self-solemnizing/uniting marriage licenses upon request. This allows couples to conduct their own wedding ceremony without needing a judge or minister to officiate, though most states will still require an adult witness or two. In Pennsylvania this is also known as a "Quaker wedding" as the practice originated with the Quaker Church, which doesn't believe in ordained clergy. Some states require couples to be members of a clergy-less religious sect to hold such a wedding, while others don't. DC and Colorado are the most permissive in this regard, as they don't require religious affiliation ''or'' witnesses, meaning the entire wedding can just be the couple saying their vows to each other alone. It doesn't get more private than that.

* In the United States, seven states[[note]]California, Colorado, Illinois, Kansas, Maine, Nevada, and Pennsylvania[[/note]] and the District of Columbia offer self-solemnizing/uniting marriage licenses upon request. This allows couples to conduct their own wedding ceremony without needing a judge or minister to officiate, though most states will still require an adult witness or two. In Pennsylvania this is also known as a "Quaker wedding" as the practice originated with the Quaker Church, which doesn't believe in ordained clergy. Some states require couples to be members of a clergy-less religious sect to hold such a wedding, while others don't. DC and Colorado are the most permissive in this regard, as they don't require religious affiliation ''or'' witnesses, meaning the entire wedding can just be the couple alone saying their vows to each other. It doesn't get more private than that.

* In the United States, seven states[[note]]California, Colorado, Illinois, Kansas, Maine, Nevada, and Pennsylvania[[/note]] and the District of Columbia offer self-solemnizing/uniting marriage licenses upon request. This allows couples to conduct their own wedding ceremony without needing a judge or minister to officiate, though most states will still require an adult witness or two. In Pennsylvania this is also known as a "Quaker wedding" as the practice originated with the Quaker Church, which doesn't believe in ordained clergy. Some states require couples to be members of a clergy-less religious sect to hold such a wedding, while others don't. DC and Colorado are the most permissive in this regard, as they don't require religious affiliation ''or'' witnesses, meaning the entire wedding can just be the couple saying their vows to each other. It doesn't get more private than that.

* In the ''WesternAnimation/BojackHorseman'' series finale, when Bojack is surprised that Judah would leave ''his own wedding'' to work, Princess Carolyn admits that the two of them had a private ceremony a week ago and ''this'' wedding was simply for networking purposes. Bojack's offended that he wasn't important enough to attend the real wedding, but flattered that he's still considered important enough to attend the industry wedding, considering all that happened.

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/BojackHorseman'': When Bojack expresses surprise that Judah would leave ''his own wedding'' to work, Princess Carolyn admits that the two of them had a private ceremony a week ago, and ''this'' wedding was more for networking purposes. Bojack's offended that he wasn't important enough to attend the real wedding, but flattered that he's still considered important enough to attend the industry wedding, considering all that happened.

* In book 3 of the Literature/WaxAndWayne series, ''Literature/TheBandsOfMourning'', the arranged wedding of Waxillium Ladrian and Steris Harms is halted when a water tower on the building next to the church collapses and floods the church before they can say their "I Do"'s. Wax is secretly pleased, as he still hasn't gotten over the tragic events of [[Literature/ShadowsOfSelf the previous novel]]. At the end, Waxillium arranges for he and Steris to be met on their return to Elendel by a priest. Wax and Steris have [[PerfectlyArrangedMarriage fallen in love over the course of their adventure]], and Wax has come to terms with his grief. When he proposes to Steris, asking her to marry him on the spot not for duty or politics but because they love each other, Steris tearfully points out that everyone will be expecting a huge wedding:

* In book 3 of the Literature/WaxAndWayne series, ''Literature/TheBandsOfMourning'', the arranged wedding of Waxillium Ladrian and Steris Harms is halted when a water tower on the building next to the church collapses and floods the church before they can say their " I Do"'s. Wax is secretly pleased, as he still hasn't gotten over the tragic events of [[Literature/ShadowsOfSelf the previous novel]]. At the end, Waxillium arranges for he and Steris to be met on their return to Elendel by a priest. Wax and Steris have [[PerfectlyArrangedMarriage fallen in love over the course of their adventure]], and Wax has come to terms with his grief. When he proposes to Steris, asking her to marry him on the spot not for duty or politics but because they love each other, Steris tearfully points out that everyone will be expecting a huge wedding:
'''Steris''': Tonight? So soon? Don't the others deserve to attend a wedding?

* In book 3 of the Literature/WaxAndWayne series, Literature/TheBandsOfMourning, the arranged wedding of Waxillium Ladrian and Steris Harms is halted when a water tower on the building next to the church collapses and floods the church before they can say their " I Do"'s. Wax is secretly pleased, as he still hasn't gotten over the tragic events of [[Literature/ the previous novel. At the end, Waxillium arranges for he and Steris to be met on their return to Elendel by a priest. Wax and Steris have [[PerfectlyArrangedMarriage fallen in love over the course of their adventure]], and Wax has come to terms with his grief. When he proposes to Steris, asking her to marry him on the spot not for duty or politics but because they love each other, Steris tearfully points out that everyone will be expecting a huge wedding:

* In book 3 of the [[Literature/WaxAndWayne]] series, [[Literature/TheBandsOfMourning]], the arranged wedding of Waxillium Ladrian and Steris Harms is halted when a water tower on the building next to the church collapses and floods the church before they can say their " I Do"'s. Wax is secretly pleased, as he still hasn't gotten over the tragic events of [[Literature/ the previous novel. At the end, Waxillium arranges for he and Steris to be met on their return to Elendel by a priest. Wax and Steris have [[PerfectlyArrangedMarriage fallen in love over the course of their adventure]], and Wax has come to terms with his grief. When he proposes to Steris, asking her to marry him on the spot not for duty or politics but because they love each other, Steris tearfully points out that everyone will be expecting a huge wedding:

Do note that many jurisdictions require at least two adults known to the couple to witness the ceremony, requiring a generous definition of "private" as the couple would have to ask their closest non-judgmental friends to fill that role. Still, this trope is almost always a SugarWiki/{{Heartwarming Moment|s}}. The couple is showing that ''getting married'' is far more important than having a big flashy wedding, and they'd rather handle things on their own terms. Arguments about flowers and who escorts whom take away from the beauty of the day, and they refuse to let that happen. But they still care about their friends and families too much to deny them a celebration. But the ''real'' ceremony will always be the one the couple cherishes.

Either way, this is almost always a SugarWiki/{{Heartwarming Moment|s}}. The couple is showing that ''getting married'' is far more important than having a big flashy wedding, and they'd rather handle things on their own terms. Arguments about flowers and who escorts whom take away from the beauty of the day, and they refuse to let that happen. But they still care very much about their friends and families to deny them their celebration. But the ''real'' ceremony will always be the one the couple cherishes.

* In ''WesternAnimation/ThePrincessAndTheFrog'', Tiana and Naveen's ''real'' wedding happens in the swamp while they're frogs, but once they become human again, they have a more standard ceremony in a church.

* ''ComicStrip/{{Retail}}'': Cooper and Val decided to just go down to the courthouse and get married there so they could spend the money on a honeymoon in Hawaii instead. The deal was Cooper had to tell everyone at work they're married, while Val had to tell her parents. Cooper and Marla agree he got the better end of the deal.

[[folder: Real Life]]

* ''FanFic/ThePiecesLieWhereTheyFell'': In the sequel ''Picking Up the Pieces'', Sweet Surprise explains that she and her marefriend and coltfriend had a private wedding in Las Pegasus so they wouldn't be swarmed by the press and media.

* In the ''Tales of Symphonia'' fanfiction [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7037669/1/Worth_It Worth It]], (the last in a series of eight) Zelos and Sheena find themselves facing two weddings in order to keep the peace - a huge, pretentious, overly-extravagant wedding held by the King in Meltokio and a long, boring, stuffy, traditional wedding in Mizuho. Neither wedding appeals to the couple, and as they are bound and determined to enjoy their own wedding, they grab Lloyd and Colette as witnesses and have a private ceremony at the hot springs.

* ''Manga/{{Evangelion 303}}'': Touji nearly ends up ruining his relationship with Hikari after he gets a lap dance during his bachelor party. After a day of arguing, they end up getting a Vegas wedding at three in the morning with Shinji and Asuka acting as witnesses. It's never stated if they still planned on having the regular wedding, but it's implied that they just told everyone else when they woke up.

* In ''Manga/ShonanJunaiGumi'', Ryuji and Ayumi sneak into an empty church at night and say private vows to each other (without a priest or witnesses). [[spoiler:Too bad she leaves the next day.]]