History Main / MillsAndBoonProse

* ''{{R-15}}'': The protagonist is a porn writer. He does this often, [[MostWritersAreWriters in a light novel that does this just as often]].

* Common in DanielleSteel's novels.

* [[ForbiddenFruitTheTempationOfEdwardCullen MANCARROT.]]

* [[http://romance.unclewaltersrants.com/ Uncle Walter's Bad Romance Novel Quotes]] has a selection of some of the best MillsAndBoonProse in print.

* [[http://s10.zetaboards.com/SOTF_V2/topic/7243277/1/ Timely Extension of The Gift]] from ''SurvivalOfTheFittest''. The sex scene. My God.

The traditional way of handling sex in a RomanceNovel; PurpleProse to IKEAErotica's BeigeProse. Physical actions and sensations are conveyed via vague euphemisms or even overblown metaphors - while emotions are described in excessive, abstract detail. Often one suspects that the writer wishes ''he or she'' were participating in the scene. A sure sign that you've got one of these is when abstract nouns are used to refer to genitalia.

The traditional way of handling sex in a RomanceNovel; PurpleProse to IKEAErotica's BeigeProse. Physical actions and sensations are conveyed via vague euphemisms or even overblown ([[HehHehYouSaidX heh heh]]) metaphors - while emotions are described in excessive, abstract detail. Often one suspects that the writer wishes ''he or she'' were participating in the scene. A sure sign that you've got one of these is when abstract nouns are used to refer to genitalia.

* ''TheFountainhead''. Specifically, the rape scene.

* ''Literature/FannyHill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure'' may be the TropeMaker.

* The sex scenes between Claire and Adam in ''The Watermelon'' by MarianKeyes.

* The principal from ''Film/TenThingsIHateAboutYou'' tries writing one of these when not busy in her office. Hopefully the only time the word "bratwurst" is used in an erotic novel ever.

* CollegeHumor reinterprets college course texts as cheap [[http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1721631 bodice rippers]].

* ''FannyHill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure'' may be the TropeMaker.

* Any nominee or winner of the [[http://www.literaryreview.co.uk/badsex.html Bad Sex in Fiction Award]]. An example of an especially amusing TalksLikeASimile passage: "Now her grubby soles met like they were praying. Now his skin was glazed in roast pork sweat. Now she made a noise like a tortured [[TheMoomins Moomintroll]]."

* {{R-15}}: The protagonist is a porn writer. He does this often, [[MostWritersAreWriters in a light novel that does this just as often]].

* Parodied in this TheRealGhostBusters story: [[http://cartoon.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=19897&chapter=2 Sweet Temptation]]. [[spoiler:It turns out to be Slimer watching a cooking show.]]

* ''Fanny Hill: Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure'' may be the TropeMaker.

* Implied in an episode of "The Nanny", when Brighton looks up from a book he found lying around and asks: "Dad, what exactly are a persons loins, and how do you make them quiver?"

* College Humor reinterprets college course texts as cheap [[http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1721631 bodice rippers]].

* The principal from ''TenThingsIHateAboutYou'' tries writing one of these when not busy in her office. Hopefully the only time the word "bratwurst" is used in an erotic novel ever.

* Any nominee or winner of the [[http://www.literaryreview.co.uk/badsex.html Bad Sex in Fiction Award]]. An example of an especially amusing TalksLikeASimile passage: "Now her grubby soles met like they were praying. Now his skin was glazed in roast pork sweat. Now she made a noise like a tortured Moomintroll."

----

The traditional way of handling sex in a {{romance novel}}; PurpleProse to IKEAErotica's BeigeProse. Physical actions and sensations are conveyed via vague euphemisms or even overblown ([[HehHehYouSaidX heh heh]]) metaphors - while emotions are described in excessive, abstract detail. Often one suspects that the writer wishes ''he or she'' were participating in the scene. A sure sign that you've got one of these is when abstract nouns are used to refer to genitalia.

* ''TheFountainhead''. Specifically, the rape scene.

* An early episode of ''{{Friends}}'' has Rachel attempt to write some ("Do you think his 'love stick' can be liberated from its 'denim prison'?"), inspired by Chandler's mother, who writes them professionally. [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar Luckily for the broadcasters]], she's a [[RougeAnglesOfSatin terrible speller]] so the others can openly mock her typos; the female character is apparently in possession of "heaving beasts", while the man at one point whips out his "huge throbbing pens".

* ''MadMagazine'' suggested a Danielle Steel novelization of ''QVC'':

* ''That Summer'' by Garth Brooks, especially the chorus, which would not at all be out of place in a romance novel:
-->"She had a need to feel the thunder/To chase the lightning from the sky
-->To watch a storm with all its wonder/raging in her lover's eyes
-->She had to ride the heat of passion/like a comet burning bright
-->Rushing headlong in the wind/Out where only dreams have been

<<|{{Literature}}|>>

The traditional way of handling sex in a {{romance novel}}; {{purple|Prose}} to IKEAErotica's {{beige|Prose}}. Physical actions and sensations are conveyed via vague euphemisms or even overblown ([[HehHehYouSaidX heh heh]]) metaphors -- while emotions are described in excessive, abstract detail. Often one suspects that the writer wishes ''he or she'' were participating in the scene. A sure sign that you've got one of these is when abstract nouns are used to refer to genitalia.

This is becoming rare in real romances, which are beginning to eschew floweriness for harder-edged (and sometimes downright vulgar) prose. However, Mills and Boon Prose lives on in parodies, often used to invoke InnocentInnuendo. It also occurs in {{fictional document}}s as a form of StylisticSuck. Can involve AnatomicallyImpossibleSex.

-->"She had a need to feel the thunder
-->To chase the lightning from the sky
-->To watch a storm with all its wonder raging in her lover's eyes
-->She had to ride the heat of passion like a comet burning bright
-->Rushing headlong in the wind
-->Out where only dreams have been

To chase the lightning from the sky
To watch a storm with all its wonder raging in her lover's eyes
She had to ride the heat of passion like a comet burning bright
Rushing headlong in the wind
Out where only dreams have been
Burning both ends of the night."

-->"She had a need to feel the thunder To chase the lightning from the sky To watch a storm with all its wonder Raging in her lover's eyes She had to ride the heat of passion Like a comet burning bright Rushing headlong in the wind Out where only dreams have been Burning both ends of the night."