History Main / MermaidProblem

* ShelSilverstein's song "The Mermaid," [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihEew4v1xyc recently covered by GreatBigSea]], is about this problem. The album cover for GreatBigSea's ''The Hard and the Easy'' even shows a fish with women's legs in reference to it.

* The Great Big Sea song "The Mermaid" tells of a sailor falling in love with a type A mermaid, breaking up with her (not, however, for the reason you're all thinking), and then falling in love with a type B. "But I don't give a damn 'bout the upper part / 'cause that's how I gets me [[IncrediblyLamePun tail]]..."

* Belgian painter René Magritte has a painting of a reverse mermaid.
* Polish painter Jaroslaw Kukowski has a painting of a mermaid looking in puzzlement at a magazine page showing a vagina.

-> ''"Would it be weird for you, if I touched your fishy half? [[FetishRetardant I know it would be for me...]]"''
-->-- '''{{Flight of the Conchords}}''', "Mermaid"

* T-Pain claims to have done it with a mermaid somehow in TheLonelyIsland's [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU "I'm on a Boat".]]

* Many H-series suggest that the tail begins at the upper thigh, rather than at the hips.
** Alternatively, some of her scales slide away when she is aroused. [[YouFailBiologyForever Still looks too painful.]]
* In ''OnePiece'' Brook imagines what mermaid panties look like, until he is told that mermaids don't wear panties. Later we see that when a merperson turns 30, their tail splits into a pair of legs and they can walk on land.
** The character Kokoro is actually a mermaid past 30, who married and had children with a human.

** [[DoubleEntendre Revert if they come in contact with water, just for clarification]]

** The Starbucks Coffee logo features a mermaid of this [[http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e9/Sbux_logo_pre_1987.gif type]]. She's essentially giving whoever's looking a free show. Apparently this was too risque (what's a flashing mermaid got to with coffee anyway?), so they [[http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/35/Starbucks_Coffee_Logo.svg zoomed in]]. Now it looks like a woman's face with two random fin things next to her head. This can lead to confusion to those who don't know the origin.
*** The original logo itself was merely a less-risque version of [[http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2163/2415951013_1e8e668524.jpg an old woodcut]] in which the mermaid is obviously quite human above the tails. Starbucks, in addition to a few other retouches, covered her with scales from the waist down in order to allay any suspicion that she might actually have a vulva.

* [[strike:French]] Belgian painter René Magritte has made a painting of a reverse mermaid.
* Polish painter Jaroslaw Kukowski has made a painting of a mermaid looking in puzzlement at a magazine page showing a vagina.

** Well, it could be a bikini bottom with side string-ti- ...Okay, you know what, I'm not going there anymore. If anybody wants me I'll be [[BrainBleach removing the affected parts of my brain with an ice cream scoop and incinerating them as hazardous waste]].

* The mermaids in [[JackChalker Jack L. Chalker's]] ''River of Dancing Gods'' series are 100% mammal (more half-dolphin than half-fish), and when a male character gets involved with one it's explicitly mentioned that their bits are human-compatible.
** Conversely, the mermaid-like Umiau from his WellWorld series are [[{{Hermaphrodite}} hermaphroditic]], not shy about that fact, and not at all interested in sex outside their species.

** Likewise, an earlier Piers Anthony book (''Mute'') included a "mermaid" who is actually a mutant woman with legs that are fused from the knees down, allowing her to squat. And yes, he is explicit about why she'd want to do that.
** In ''{{Xanth}}'', mermaids and mermen can assume human form, but when they mate with each other, they prefer to do it underwater, in their half-fish shape. When a (human) character asks how it's done, she is told to mind her own business.
** Meanwhile, in ''{{Incarnations of Immortality}}'', a mermaid states that "My scales are only external; I am mammalian inside." Of course, the mermaid in question was a {{Half Human Hybrid}}s born from [[AWizardDidIt a wizard's curse]] that made her father see human women as fish and fish as human women.
* A classic Frederick Brown short horror story had a protagonist who fell in love with a mermaid. It wasn't until ''after'' he successfully petitioned Triton to turn him into a merman that she informed him merfolk spawned like fish.

* Wittily averted in JohnRingo's ''[[CouncilWars Emerald Sea]]'': [[TheSpartanWay "Blood Lord" ]] Herzer Herrick ''tries'' to use the MermaidProblem as an excuse for his lack of romantic adventures among the merfolk (Herzer eventually gets over his shyness) Later [[OurElvesAreBetter Elf-babe Bast]] comments on their obvious genital slits. Interestingly, it's the ''post-partum'' aspects of mermaid reproduction that form the major MacGuffin of the story.
** For the curious, the problem was [[spoiler: the mer are warm blooded and their babies don't have nearly enough body mass to avoid succumbing to hypothermia if they spend too much time in the water. Since the adults are about as helpless as seals on land (an explicit comparison is made to baby fur seals) mer babies have to be raised in protected nurseries if they're going to have any hope of survival. So anyone who seizes the nursery caves could hold the entire species hostage.]]

** In a possibly-not-true-inside-the-overall-story story in [=deCamp's=] ''Reluctant King'' Trilogy a mermaid and a human attempt to have sex. Since the mermaid is dolphin-based, finding the opening isn't a problem. However, almost drowning is.

** Similarly, [=McIntyre=]'s genetically-engineered "divers" are more like humans with a few seal or otter traits (fur, claws, webbed hands) than traditional merfolk.

* Non-merfolk example: A comparable Problem confronts a young man in love with a Remade woman in ''[[PerdidoStreetStation The Scar]]'', as her legs are permanently embedded inside a steam engine. Lucky for them, her actual genitalia were still human, and both of them were pretty flexible.

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3fleVhxLq8 This scene]] from ''{{Scrubs}}''.

** This brings up another thing about mermaids. Since they have breasts, that makes them sea-mammals. However, sea-mammals typically need a considerable amount of fat for health, whereas mermaids are typically portrayed as being very slim. Older depictions, such as Renaissance paintings are a bit more realistic as the models were typically somewhat full-figured.
*** [[FreudWasRight That's just because mainstream ideas of attractiveness used to be a lot fatter.]]

** "...Her hips were a swayin', she was a work of art, the sad irony, her legs wouldn't part!"
*** It gets dirtier... "...They asked us to follow, so we turned and headed south, they had no lower half... but they still had a mouth!"

* In the old ''{{World of Darkness}}'', ''[=~Changeling: The Dreaming~=]'''s mermaids reproduced by kissing, and were understandably shy about doing so. However, they still had sex, and frequently, since no pregnancy would result.
** It's a little more complicated than that. They still needed to have sex to have babies. It's just that kissing "stimulates" the women in ways that sex alone doesn't, making pregnancy possible.
** It's worth noting that they grow legs on land.

* The Problem must've somehow been averted in the Mystara D&D setting, in which the queen of Aquas is a HalfHumanHybrid of human and merfolk. Shapechanging magic by one or the other parent is implied to have been involved.

* In ''[[HarvestMoon Harvest Moon DS]]'', there's a cutesy mermaid named Leia (Retasu in the original, which was probably changed because, yes, she's an {{Expy}} of [[TokyoMewMew that Retasu]]) whom you can marry. She never gains human legs, and [[GRatedSex manages to get pregnant]] despite ''living in your duck pond and being unable to leave the water for extended periods of time.'' Also, the pregnancy resembles that of a human, even though she's part fish. The [[HalfHumanHybrid child]] is normal enough, but still, [[MST3KMantra It's best not to think about any of this for too long]], [[FetishFuel unless you're into that sort of things]].
** At least the [[RomanticTwoGirlFriendship "Best Friend"]] pregnancy makes sense. The Harvest King impregnates one of you [[IsThatWhatTheyreCallingItNow by magic]], because he can do that sort of stuff.

* [[{{Goblins}} Dellyn Goblinslayer]] has a pet yuan-ti (top half woman, bottom half snake). When it's finally made explicit that he does, in fact, have sex with her, Minmax wonders how that could be possible. Dellyn only replies that it works... it works very well. We aren't given any more details, [[{{Squick}} which is probably a good thing]].
** In a later episode, Kin [[TooMuchInformation explains how yuantis mate.]] [[spoiler: It's closer to the snake method than you might expect.]]

* ''FamilyGuy'' had a similar scenario where Lois is rescued by a reverse merman. She declines his invitation to have sex with him, as his upper half is [[WhatMeasureIsANonCute too repulsive]].
** When she mentions she'd rather him be a regular merman, the merman becomes indignant and invokes this trope. When she can't answer how she would have sex with a merman without a penis, he forces himself on her. She pushes him over and he flops around like a normal fish. [[RapeAsComedy Hilarious!]]

* In the Batman:TAS episode "The Laughing Fish", the Joker seems to be flirting with Harley Quinn by asking her to "be [his] little mermaid." He then puts a giant fake fish head over her head, to which Harley responds, "You're really sick, you know that, boss?" Funny this got past the censors.

* This is just a thought, but, uh...ever heard of handjobs or anything? Ever? Anyone? Hello?
** Or giving head, for heaven's sake. (Though it might be difficult to give one's mermaid girlfriend corresponding pleasure, which may be the trouble.)
*** Indeed, an organism whose nervous system was somehow a perfect fusion of human-torso-fish-bottom, and somehow has avoided going ''[[AndIMustScream completely insane]]'' from the disconnect, would almost certainly be unable to orgasm in ''any way'' without some sort of direct-to-brain electric [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_substitution sensory substitution]] system, whether or not there are other humans/merfolk of the "correct" sex, or sex toys, etc. (Fish do not orgasm, whereas humans, who do, nearly always need stimulation of the parts that are "replaced" by fish-parts. Even if any fish did orgasm, there's the [[PlugNPlayTechnology PlugNPlay]] problem of sending that information to the human brain.) If merpeople independently evolved, of course, it's no problem — but then they wouldn't look very much like humans, and/or much like fish. Given that fact, one may as well say that merfolk ''have'' evolved; see the next entry on this list, '''if you dare'''.
* Somewhat disturbingly, the Mermaid's real-life counterpart inverts this problem, depending on how you look at it. Female [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manatees Manatees]] (aka "Sea Cows"), which many historians believe inspired the Mermaid legend, happen to have a set of reproductive organs that would be very familiar to us humans (especially the Dugong). Simply put, "Tab A" would fit into "Slot A" very comfortably (aside from the obvious {{Squick}} factor), moreso in fact than with any other non-human creature on earth. The UnfortunateImplications of [[ButYouScrewOneGoat a bunch of lonely sailors discovering this phenomena]] (and subsequently mythologizing it) will have you running for the BrainBleach, if you weren't already.
** There is a type of fish known as the "fisherman's friend" for broadly similar reasons. Its up to you to decide whether this is better or worse that that activities ascribed to lonely shepherds and the Welsh. Or the New Zealanders, for that matter.
** Of course, it doesn't involve the problem from the male manatees' point of view.

* Somewhat disturbingly, the Mermaid's real-life counterpart inverts this problem, depending on how you look at it. Female [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manatees Manatees]] (aka "Sea Cows"), which many historians believe inspired the Mermaid legend, happen to have a set of reproductive organs that would be very familiar to us humans (especially the Dugong). Simply put, "Tab A" would fit into "Slot A" very comfortably (aside from the obvious {{Squick}} factor), moreso in fact than with any other non-human creature on earth. The UnfortunateImplications of a bunch of lonely sailors discovering this phenomena (and subsequently mythologizing it) will have you running for the BrainBleach, if you weren't already.

* French painter René Magritte has made a painting of a reverse mermaid.

* In the original ''DragonBall'', Muten Roshi asks Goku to bring him a "fine young girl" in order to become his disciple. The second girl Goku ends up bringing to Kame House (after the first one turned out to be a total dog) is Roshi's ideal girl... or least she would've been if wasn't for the fact that she's a mermaid. Disappointed by her lack of a lower human body, Roshi nonetheless asks her if he could fondle her breasts instead. The mermaid is not amused by Roshi's request to say the least...

* ''{{Splash}}'' used the aforementioned HandWave: Madison only had a tail while exposed to water.

That isn't to say, of course, that mermaids are completely lacking in sexual organs. Real fish, of course, have actual genitals. They just aren't compatible with those of a human, let alone easy to find or obvious to point out. A few biologists have a hard time even calling Piscine reproductive organs "genitals" because they are so very different from anything we, as mammals, would recognize. Most fish, quite simply, do not (and could not) have sex, even with each other.

->''Why couldn't she have been the other kind of mermaid, with the fish part on top, and the lady part on the bottom?''\\
-- '''Fry''', ''{{Futurama}}''

-> ''"Would it be weird for you, if I touched your fishy half? [[FetishRetardant I know it would be for me...]]"''\\
-- '''{{Flight of the Conchords}}''', "Mermaid"

* The genders are reversed in ''{{Slayers}}''.
** Not always. There was actually a female fish-person in the third season, although she was about as ridiculous looking as the males, although somehow cuter.
*** The novel actually addressed the problem in the same way as Futurama. When instructed to kiss Lina, Nunsa comments that he's considered one of the best catches in his school, then sits down and patiently waits for...something. It turns out that, as a fish, Nunsa is only aware of the concept of "kissing" as being vaguely related to mating, so he's waiting for her to lay the eggs.

* ''OnePiece'' both plays this trope straight, when Brook imagines what mermaid panties look like, until he is told that mermaids don't wear panties, and subverts it in the fact that when a merperson turns 30, their tail splits into a pair of legs and they can walk on land.

[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/reverse-mermaid-thumb.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:350:Neither, we'll just stick to our imagination and hands, thanks.]]

[[caption-width-right:350:Neither, we'll just stick to my imagination and hands, thnx.]]

[[caption-width-right:350:Neither, I'll just stick to my imagination and hands, thnx.]]

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/reverse-mermaid-thumb.jpg
[[caption: Neither, I'll just stick to my imagination and hands, thnx.]]

-->''Why couldn't she have been the other kind of mermaid, with the fish part on top, and the lady part on the bottom?''
-->-- '''Fry''', ''{{Futurama}}''

-> ''"Would it be weird for you, if I touched your fishy half? [[FetishRetardant I know it would be for me...]]"''
-->-- '''{{Flight of the Conchords}}''', "Mermaid"

* The sea people in Vonda [=McIntyre=]'s ''The Moon and the Sun'' have two "tails" (actually hind limbs adapted for swimming) and human-like genitalia. Sea people are aquatic humanoid mammals (and, apart from their aquatic adaptations, have a lot of anatomical similarity to humans), not hybrid creatures.
** This is so much the case that [[MeaningfulName Sherzad]] shocks a 17th-century human crowd by flashing them.

** Meanwhile, in ''{{Incarnations of Immortality}}'', a mermaid states that "My scales are only external; I am mammalian inside." Of course, the mermaid in question was a {{Half Human Hybrid}}s born from [[AWizardDidIt a wizard's curse]] that made her father see human women as fish and fish as human women. SoYeah...

* In Milo Manara's ''City Hunter'' (not to be confused with ''CityHunters''), there's a scene where Odysseus and his friends go off to catch some mermaids. He ends up with the traditional one, and his friend gets her ugly friend, with the parts mixed.