History Main / MeddlingParents

* FantasyForbiddingFather: A father who disapproves of his child's dreams and may take measures to prevent the child from engaging in those hobbies.

* HelicopterParents: Parents who hover over their children and get excessively involved in their personal lives, ostensibly for their own good.

* ArrangedMarriage: Others, usually parents, select a person's spouse and arrange the date and any other conditions that might apply for them.

* StageMom: A mother who pushes their children to become famous.

* BoyfriendBlockingDad: A father who strictly keeps boys from dating his daughter. Previously called "Overprotective Dad".

* FantasyForbiddingFather: A father who disapproves of his child's dreams, often out of overprotectiveness.

* MamaBear: An ActionMom who tries to get revenge against people who mess with her kids.

* PapaWolf: An ActionDad who tries to get revenge against people who mess with his kids.

[[redirect:OverprotectiveDad]]

!This trope is [[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=16737214360.29006600 under discussion]] in the Administrivia/TropeRepairShop.
->''"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.''\\
''They may not mean to, but they do.''\\
''They fill you with the faults they had''\\
''And add some extra, just for you."''
-->-- '''Creator/PhilipLarkin''', "This Be the Verse"

Older adults who are far too eager to be involved in their grown children's lives, give them advice on how they should live, etc. Often they will try to take care of their child's problems for them, ''especially'' when it comes to educational opportunities and advancement. In most cases, their efforts may be more detrimental to their child than beneficial in the long run. They view this as "helping" and can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want help and become offended if their help is rejected. May be especially critical of their son-in-law/daughter-in-law.

In real life, parents can act like this as well, making this trope an example of TruthInTelevision. These parents are called "helicopter parents" due to their tendency to "hover" over their children and are the bane of every teacher and admissions officer on the planet. A lesser-known but equally appropriate term is "curling parents", due to their habit of "sweeping" any obstacles in front of their children. Helicopter parents can effectively be put in these categories:

'''The Agent''', aka '''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JetRanger The JetRanger]]''' : Having an Agent helicopter parent is like having Max Clifford working for you round the clock--for free. They operate like a footballer's agent: fixing deals, arranging contracts, smoothing out local difficulties. It's the Agent's job to represent his or her client at events which, for whatever reason, the client feels are simply too tedious to attend. Specializes in nimble, agile bargains and deals.

'''The Banker''', aka '''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mil_Mi-26 The Halo]]''': Accessible online, face-to-face or via a personal hotline, the Banker is unique in the world of financial services for charging no APR, asking few if any questions, expecting no collateral, and being psychologically inclined to say "yes" no matter how illogical or poorly articulated the request. The Banker is also resigned to never seeing loans repaid. That's assuming they don't just do the shopping directly, and just show up with the gear.

'''The White Knight''', aka '''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eurocopter_HH-65_Dolphin The Dolphin]]''': Imbued with an almost semi-mythical status, the White Knight parent appears at little to no notice to [[Main/ManipulativeBastard resolve]] awkward situations. Once resolved, the White Knight will fade anonymously into the background. Intervention is accomplished silently and with minimum fuss. They may pretend to be a [[Main/HandsOffParenting Hands-off Parent]].

'''The Bodyguard''', aka '''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mil_Mi-24 The Hind]]''': The primary function of the Bodyguard is to protect the client from a range of embarrassing social situations - such as cancelling appointments and soaking up complaints on behalf of their client. Particularly skilled in constructing elaborate excuses. When not protecting life, limb, and reputation, doubles up as a chauffeur and personal assistant.

'''The Black Hawk''': Named after the military helicopter that specializes in clearing the way for delivering elite troops. Dreaded by teachers and educational administrators (Especially [[SadistTeacher the sadistic ones]]), the Black Hawk is unique among helicopter parents due to their willingness to go to any lengths - legal or illegal - to give their offspring a positional advantage over any competition. Particularly lethal when elected to parent-teacher associations. Lack of a civilian name emphasizes their warlike nature: always on the attack.

'''[[Main/StageMom The]] [[EducationMama Proj]][[Main/SportsDad ector]]:''' Typically an underachiever in their own life even if they're highly educated, the projector throws everything behind their child's development, tying their own ego to their child's success. Their behavior is highly protective towards the child's projects, feelings of achievement, and ego because, of course, it's really about their own ego. When failures occur, they can be often more upset than the child is and may lash out, blaming the scenario or environment or people involved. Emotions are running at 11 on a constant basis, wearing out the kids and everyone else with their toxic insecurity complex. 

See also EvilMatriarch, MyBelovedSmother, OverprotectiveDad, and FantasyForbiddingFather. IWantGrandkids is usually a subtrope. Compare with AntiClimacticParent or KnightTemplarParent for still-actually-kids kids.

Basically the family version of ExecutiveMeddling.

And no, [[JustForFun/IThoughtItMeant this is not]] where [[YouMeddlingKids meddling kids]] come from (at least, not always).

Sometimes a biological parent will abandon their kid (see ParentalAbandonment and ParentalNeglect) only to try to intrude into the kid's life years later (without intention or ability of actually taking good care of the kid) after a conscientious and loving parental substitute has already formed a bond with the kid. Examples: ''Film/LookWhosTalking'' and ''A Place For Annie''. In film, the bad biological parent is often readily identifiable either by (1) stubborn insistence on chain-smoking cigarettes around her toddler-aged child, (2) responding to any advice or concerns about parenting techniques with "it's my kid; don't tell me what to do!" and/or (3) total indifference toward spending any considerable amount of time actually interacting with the kid, much less taking on the "less fun" responsibilities of childcare (changing diapers, etc.). It is then the parental substitute's job to angrily school him on how what he's doing is only going to hurt the child.
----
!!Examples

[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:Comic Strips]]
* John and Elly Patterson of ''ComicStrip/ForBetterOrForWorse'' exhibited these tendencies, big-time, as the strip progressed.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Fan Works]]
* The saniwa from ''Fanfic/ToukenDanshiAndTheOrderOfThePhoenix'' is squarely in Black Hawk category for his adoptive son Harry. His actions upon meeting Dumbledore to discuss Harry's schooling include openly insulting Hogwarts and harassing Dumbledore into allowing Harry a team of guards with him at all times despite the headmaster's worries about Harry's becoming alienated from other students, coupled with [[SarcasmMode nicely]] promising to ''station an army of about 50 swords on Hogwarts grounds'' if Dumbledore doesn't comply.
* Downplayed in ''Fanfic/AThingOfVikings''. Having been saved and reunited with Heather, her parents have become rather clingy.
--> Two years of wanting her parents freed, three weeks of having them free, and now she desperately wanted them gone for at least a day—or at least out of the way. But she couldn't blame them for their reactions, not when they were still clawing back to control of their own lives and being able to do what they wanted without harsh punishments. So they'd been clinging to her constantly, always needing her for something...
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Film]]
* In ''Film/AugustRush'' Lyla's father is so obsessed with making sure she is a successful violinist that he intentionally separated her from her son [[spoiler:by forging her name on the adoption certificate]] and told her [[spoiler:that the baby died]]. He does redeem himself by telling her eventually what he had done although he kept the secret for 11 years, making him a classic "Black Hawk" parent.
%% * Sheelah Sugrue in ''Film/DarbyOGillAndTheLittlePeople''.
* Neil Perry's stern authoritarian father can be considered a Black Hawk version in ''Film/DeadPoetsSociety'' when he has a parent-teacher conference with Headmaster Nolan, who decides, at Mr. Perry's consultation, to discontinue Neil's participation on the yearbook staff so he can become a successful doctor, and forbidding him to voice his objections, and even forcibly withdrawing Neil after he participates in the play, enrolling him in military school. Unfortunately, this results in tragedy when Neil commits suicide, and his father launches an investigation to have Mr. Keating removed, believing that Keating was the chief instigator, with most of the students rising to their desktops in defense of Keating.
%%* ''Film/TheHungerGames'': Cashmere's actor, Stephanie Schlund, states that the parents of Cashmere and her older brother, Gloss, were extremely hard on them.
%% In what way? Elaborate?
* Every mother depicted in ''Film/StickIt'' was '''The Agent''' variation of helicopter parent; and some were a particularly abusive twist on that -- more focused on their daughter's gymnastic success than in their happiness or mental well-being.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]
* In the ''Literature/{{Dubliners}}'' short story "A Mother", the eponymous character behaves more like her daughter's agent than a parent.
* Discussed and PlayedForLaughs at the end of ''Film/GameNight''; while we never see the actual 'parenthood' part, the two main characters are a married couple who have been [[LawOfInverseFertility struggling to conceive a child]], in part due to the husband's hang-ups. The two are also intensely competitive tabletop gaming freaks, and at the end when he's ready to accept the responsibilities of fatherhood they spend a few moments delightedly bragging about how their future kid is going to be the most awesome kid in the world, with the clear implication that their future son or daughter is going to have to deal with a couple of these in the future.
* In ''Literature/LastSacrifice'', Daniella Ivashkov tries to meddle in her son's Adrian life to resolve one potential problem. [[spoiler:When Queen Tatiana Ivashkov, her aunt-by-marriage, is killed at night, Rose Hathaway stands as the most likely suspect. But Rose spend that night with her boyfriend Adrian, providing her with an alibi. Daniella decides that the alibi is not solid enough and Adrian could be accused as an accomplice to murder. So she bribes a janitor to testify that Adrian arrived in Rose's apartment later than he actually did. Providing him with an alibi and incriminating Rose. Daniella does not care that Rose could end up executed for regicide. Her help is not appreciated by her son]]. Her plan eventually backfires as she is imprisoned for interfering with a murder investigation.
* PlayedForLaughs in ''The May Donut Knows'', the third {{Spinoff}} novel from the ''Literature/TanteiTeamKZJikenNote'' series, which is set three years after the original series. Aya complained to her sister [[DitzyGenius Nako]] that their mom wants the former to marry one of the ''KZ'''s boys (she's still with them, the viewer considers it ReverseHarem while Nako sees them as her sister's boyfriends, but Aya still thinks they're JustFriends). Mom goes on discussing some of the boys ''in a completely utilitarian way'', stating, for example, [[TheSmartGuy Uesuki]]'s genes are worth inheriting, or Kozuka is {{Nice|Guy}} and is unlikely to cheat. Later that novel mom also wants Nako--11 at the time--to consider dating from her circle of boys but made it clear she won't like [[RetiredOutlaw Mei]].
* Moomin Mama and Moomin Papa in ''Literature/TheMoomins'' are an inversion of this. They let their son go comet hunting with only a flask of raspberry juice and a money-grabbing, egotistical mouse kangaroo for company.
* Agnes' parents from ''Literature/{{Run}}'' are of the hovering variety, always interfering with Agnes' life out of fear that she'll get hurt, and eventually [[spoiler: admitting that deep down they don't think she'd ever be able to leave Mursey after high school. Fortunately, they get better]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
%%* Endora [and the rest of Samantha's family, really] in ''Series/{{Bewitched}}''.
%%* Rita's mother on ''Series/{{Dexter}}''
%%* Marie Barone, Raymond's mother on ''Series/EverybodyLovesRaymond''. Frank, his dad, not so much.
* Richard and Emily Gilmore in ''Series/GilmoreGirls'' are constantly trying to "help" their daughter and granddaughter -- or, if you prefer Lorelei's interpretation, control their lives and suppress their free will. They are, in fact, so manipulative that it is often bordering on impossible to believe that they legitimately care at all, and aren't just trying to ensure the outcome that will bring the least disrepute to the family name.
* Angela Petrelli of ''Series/{{Heroes}}''. Willing to let one son blow up New York so her other son could become President one day. And that's just Season One.
%%* Mother Jefferson in ''Series/TheJeffersons''.
%%* Bert and Sylvia Buchman on ''Series/MadAboutYou''.
%%* Grandma Ida on ''Series/MalcolmInTheMiddle''.
%%** In the later seasons, Lois begins treating Malcolm this way.
%%* Caleb in ''Series/TheOC''.
* ''Parental Control'' was an MTV pseudo-reality show in which parents hated their child's current significant other, and each would each pick out a new date for them to go on in hopes of breaking them up with their current boyfriend/girlfriend.
* Jerry's parents on ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}''.
-->''I'm used to a 1200 mile buffer zone. I can't handle this. Plus I got the dinners, I got the pop-ins. They pop in! It's brutal!''
* Bunny, the mother of ''Series/SexAndTheCity'''s Charlotte's first husband Trey, who tried to interfere in every decision the couple made, from redecorating their apartment to what kind of mattress they should buy, to snootily declaring, "The [=MacDougal=] name will be carried on by ''sons'' of your own, ''not'' daughters of the South Pacific", regarding the couple's plans to adopt a Chinese baby due to their fertility struggles. This was the last straw for Charlotte, who promptly divorced Trey.
* [[SoapOpera Soaps]] love this one, to the point of them often being an obstacle that the average SuperCouple has to deal with:
** ''Series/OneLifeToLive'''s Dorian Lord to downright pathological levels. Low points include creation of a [[FalseRapeAccusation false sexual harassment]] complaint against Cassie's father-in-law so that Cassie would shun him and pay more attention to ''her''. When Cassie became so upset at learning the truth that she ''miscarried'', she then tried to take over her medical care despite having lost her license years ago, then tried to help Cassie quickly adopt [[ReplacementGoldfish another baby]] to the point of trying to help Cassie flee the country with the baby when the birth mother changed her mind, trying to bully the girl into handing her child over, demanding that Cassie leave her husband after learning of his emotional affair with Cassie's friend, etc.
** ''Series/AllMyChildren'''s Adam Chandler loathed his daughter Hayley's boyfriend Brian and pushed her into a relationship with the wealthy Will Cortlandt...who turned her into an alcoholic and tried to rape her. To his credit, despite his disapproval of nearly all her other boyfriends, Adam learned his lesson from this disaster and did his best to not interfere in her life anymore.
* Sarah Connor of the ''Franchise/{{Terminator}}'' franchise, most notably the ''Series/TerminatorTheSarahConnorChronicles'' is definite Black Hawk. It's justified in that her son grows up to save all of humanity.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Roleplay]]
* ''Roleplay/DawnOfANewAgeOldportBlues'':
** Simon's mother wants what's best for him, which manifests as her involving herself in his life and worrying over him more than he would like. They do have a strong relationship otherwise, but Simon wishes she would back off once in a while.
** Nadine's mother has been known at times to try and interfere in her life, especially given that she's split up with Nadine's father, which usually just sours things between the two women.
** Benjy's mother is a benign example, as it's shown in a side-story that she delights in giving him advice on his love life, much to his embarrassment.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Theatre]]
* Logainne's fathers in ''Theatre/TheTwentyFifthAnnualPutnamCountySpellingBee'' are obsessed with forcing her success in both the bee and life in general. [[spoiler:One goes as far as to sabotage another contestant.]]
* In ''Theatre/ByeByeBirdie'', Albert is a grown man who is still under the thumb of his racist, controlling mother Mae, which almost destroys his relationship with his significant other Rosie, the frequent object of Mae's vitriol.
* Hucklebee and Bellomy in ''Theatre/TheFantasticks'' fabricate an elaborate FeudingFamilies situation in the hopes that their children will [[StarCrossedLovers fall in love]] because kids always seem to want to do [[DatingWhatDaddyHates the opposite of what they think their parents wish for them]].
* In ''Theatre/{{Gypsy}}'', Mama Rose may be one of the ultimate examples of this trope in her relentless quest to make her daughter June (and later her daughter [[TheUnfavorite Louise]]) a star. Her refusal to allow her daughters to grow up and be independent drives both of them away in the end, leading to Rose's iconic SanitySlippageSong "Rose's Turn".
* In ''Theatre/OnceUponAMattress'', Queen Aggravain devises rigged "tests" for eligible princesses interested in marrying her son so that she can continue to dominate her family, and by extension the kingdom.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]
* Morgan Fey of ''Franchise/AceAttorney'' really, really wants her daughter Pearl to be the next Kurain Master. [[spoiler: To the point of tricking Pearl into nearly ''murdering'' the contender to the position by asking her to channel the vengeful spirit of Morgan's other daughter Dahlia, who would then kill Maya using Pearl's body.]] It's unclear if Pearl ever really understands what's going on, and given her young age, it's probably better if she doesn't.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Daria}}'', Helen Morgendorffer constantly tries to feel she is meaningfully engaged with her children when not at work, regardless of whether her daughters want it or not. However, the trope occasionally subverted, with her help being appreciated, whether it is helping Daria with a story project or defending her in a legal matter.
* In ''WesternAnimation/SofiaTheFirst'', royal sorcerer Cedric's parents (also sorcerers) keep an eye on him via a magic portrait of themselves and occasionally teleport to his workshop to give him advice.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Real Life]]
* This is part of the stereotype of the [[JewishMother Jewish mother-in-law]], who usually dotes on her son but constantly criticizes him and outright loathes her daughter-in-law. God help you if the boy married a gentile.
** Of course, the stereotype has spread to Italian mothers (or at least [[Series/EverybodyLovesRaymond Italian-American]]) and Greek mothers and mothers in the Deep South... let's just say that the stereotype is universal (whether or not it's Truth in Television depends.)
** Meanwhile, the stereotype of Asian mothers (and sometimes fathers) is the EducationMama or "tiger mother".
* ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' author Stephenie Meyer has a meddling brother. Dear Seth Morgan controls which e-mails Stephenie sees and he won't let his dear sister [[http://www.freewebs.com/thedarksidecometh/thepetition.htm read petitions from her fans and urging her to continue writing despite the leaking of "Midnight Sun".]] He's pretty much regarded as an asshole by both rabid fans AND antis.
* Aubrey Ireland, an Ohio college student who won a restraining order against her parents. [[NightmareFuel They would randomly drive from Kansas to Ohio to check on her and follow her around, keylogged her computer, and forcing her to turn on Skype so they could watch her sleep via webcam]].
* There are cases of parents who are so involved with their children's lives that they even personally attend their own children's job interviews and try to persuade the interviewer on why their child should get the job. [[NiceJobBreakingItHero This usually results in the young adult to be rejected from the job for not being able to be independent of their parents.]]
* [[StageMom Stage parents]] are usually this, getting far more involved in their children's entertainment careers than they are reasonably expected to. Like the job interview example above, there have been child actors who can't get parts solely because writers/directors/casting agents/producers simply don't want to deal with the kid's parents.[[note]]This is how Creator/MacaulayCulkin's career died; his dad was so unpleasant that no one in Hollywood wanted to even be in the same room with him, so they stopped hiring Macaulay.[[/note]]
* The [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2019_college_admissions_bribery_scandal 2019 college admissions bribery scandal]] in the USA, popularly named "Operation Varsity Blues" after the investigation into it, was a ''vast'' criminal conspiracy involving parents manipulating college entrance exams and bribing college officials to gain favourable placements at top universities for their children.
[[/folder]]
----

Sometimes a biological parent will abandon their kid (see ParentalAbandonment) only to try to intrude into the kid's life years later (without intention or ability of actually taking good care of the kid) after a conscientious and loving parental substitute has already formed a bond with the kid. Examples: ''Film/LookWhosTalking'' and ''A Place For Annie''. In film, the bad biological parent is often readily identifiable either by (1) stubborn insistence on chain-smoking cigarettes around her toddler-aged child, (2) responding to any advice or concerns about parenting techniques with "it's my kid; don't tell me what to do!" and/or (3) total indifference toward spending any considerable amount of time actually interacting with the kid, much less taking on the "less fun" responsibilities of childcare (changing diapers, etc.). It is then the parental substitute's job to angrily school him on how what he's doing is only going to hurt the child.

* This is part of the stereotype of the Jewish mother-in-law, who usually dotes on her son but constantly criticizes him and outright loathes her daughter-in-law. God help you if the boy married a gentile.

* [[StageMom Stage parents]] are usually this, getting far more involved in their children's entertainment careers than they are reasonably expected to. Like the job interview example above, there have been child actors who can't get parts solely because writers/directors/casting agents/producers simply don't want to deal with the kid's parents.[[note]]This is how Macaulay Culkin's career died; his dad was so unpleasant that no one in Hollywood wanted to even be in the same room with him, so they stopped hiring Macaulay.[[/note]]

'''[[Main/StageMom The Proj]][[Main/SportsDad ector]]:''' Typically an underachiever in their own life even if they're highly educated, the projector throws everything behind their child's development, tying their own ego to their child's success. Their behavior is highly protective towards the child's projects, feelings of achievement, and ego because, of course, it's really about their own ego. When failures occur, they can be often more upset than the child is and may lash out, blaming the scenario or environment or people involved. Emotions are running at 11 on a constant basis, wearing out the kids and everyone else with their toxic insecurity complex. 

Sometimes a biological parent will abandon their kid (see ParentalAbandonment) only to try to intrude into the kid's life years later (without intention or ability of actually taking good care of the kid) after a conscientious and loving parental substitute has already formed a bond with the kid. Examples: ''Film/LookWhosTalking'' and ''Film/APlaceForAnnie''. In film, the bad biological parent is often readily identifiable either by (1) stubborn insistence on chain-smoking cigarettes around her toddler-aged child, (2) responding to any advice or concerns about parenting techniques with "it's my kid; don't tell me what to do!" and/or (3) total indifference toward spending any considerable amount of time actually interacting with the kid, much less taking on the "less fun" responsibilities of childcare (changing diapers, etc.). It is then the parental substitute's job to angrily school him on how what he's doing is only going to hurt the child.

* [[StageMom Stage parents]] are usually this, getting far more involved in their children's entertainment careers than they are reasonably expected to. Like the job interview example above, there have been child actors who can't get parts solely because writers/directors/casting agents/producers simply don't want to deal with the kid's parents.[[note]]This is how Macaulay Culkin's career died; his dad was such an asshole that no one in Hollywood wanted to even be in the same room with him, so they stopped hiring Macaulay.[[/note]]

* The [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2019_college_admissions_bribery_scandal 2019 college admissions bribery scandal]] in the USA, popularly named "Operation Varsity Blues" after the investigation into it, was a ''vast'' criminal conspiracy involving parents manipulating college entrance exams and bribing college officials to gain favourable placements at top universities for their children.