History Main / LousyLoversAreLosers

This is why characters who are lousy lovers are often associated with negative traits, such as being [[EntitledToHaveYou selfish]], [[JerkAss insensitive]], [[ItsAllAboutMe self-centered]], [[SmallNameBigEgo egocentric]], [[UnfocusedDuringIntimacy emotionally distant]], or even {{narcissist}}ic. In the bedroom, they're AllTakeAndNoGive. They often simply ''[[LackOfEmpathy don't care]]'' about their partner's sexual satisfaction, only their own. Or they're IgnorantOfHisOwnIgnorance and can't even perceive the idea that they're bad lovers. Even if a character seemed like a NiceGuy before, if they're bad in bed that can indicate that they're actually SecretlySelfish or TheBore. Because of this, cheaters who betray their lousy lover partners can often be seen as a SympatheticAdulterer.

Sometimes lousy lovers can also be associated with positive traits, such as being [[HeadTurningBeauty highly attractive]] or [[TheCasanova smooth seducers]], with the idea that because of their attractiveness they think they don't actually have to put any work into the sex itself, therefore end up as unsatisfying partners. As a result, physically undesirable traits, such as ugliness or chubbiness, can sometimes be associated with being sexually satisfying lovers since they will actually put in the effort. Sometimes a good person will be portrayed as a disappointing lover due to the idea that GoodIsBoring. Someone who is considered too "vanilla" and only has sex in a missionary position, while someone who is more morally ambiguous will be more "adventurous", which is why AllGirlsWantBadBoys.

A lousy lover (or an InsecureLoveInterest who fears they're a lousy lover) who's portrayed as sympathetically will see their own lack of sexual prowess as a major flaw and redeem themselves in the eyes of their partner and the audience by trying to improve as part of a RomanceArc. This is often done by them seeking advice from friends or [[ProfessionalSexEd professionals]], communicating with their partner, working out their emotional issues, [[TaughtByTelevision watching/reading porn to learn new techniques]] or even [[FlexibilityEqualsSexAbility taking some yoga lessons]]. This usually ends with them having sex with their partner again, this time ending in a mutually satisfying conclusion.

* ''Film/{{Blockers}}'': PlayedWith. Sam's prom night date [[JizzedInMyPants climaxes before he can even get inside of her]] and promptly falls asleep without a care for her, but Sam is actually ''relieved'' since she's a closeted lesbian who was trying to lose her virginity to a guy only because her two other girl friends were planning to do the same.

--->'''Peg:''' I used to call you the Minuteman. Now I long for those days.
** {{Invoked|Trope}} in "Kiss of the Coffee Woman". Kelly and Jefferson are filming a series of coffee commercials, with the last commercial featuring Kelly's and Jefferson's characters soon after having sex. When they rehearse the scene, Jefferson takes offense at the idea that Kelly's character was left unsatisfied by his character's performance and even tells the director that he won't shoot the commercial unless the script is changed to say how he was a good lover, since he is a good lover behind the camera, unlike his actual wife, Marcie (who was standing nearby and [[ProducePelting throws a bagel at him]]).

* ''WebVideo/ZackMorrisIsTrash'': One of the many faults attributed to Zack by the narrator is that he is incredibly poor in bed; at one point in "The Time Zack Morris Dumped His Girlfriend For The School Nurse", the narrator states that even if Zack's convoluted scheme to [[AThreesomeIsHot date both Nurse Jennifer and Kelly at the same time worked out]], it still wouldn't change the fact he can't even satisfy ''one'' woman in bed, nevermind two.

* * ''WebVideo/ZackMorrisIsTrash'': One of the many faults attributed to Zack by the narrator is that he is incredibly poor in bed; at one point in "The Time Zack Morris Dumped His Girlfriend For The School Nurse", the narrator states that even if Zack's convoluted scheme to [[AThreesomeIsHot date both Nurse Jennifer and Kelly at the same time worked out]], it still wouldn't change the fact he can't even satisfy ''one'' woman in bed, nevermind two.

I used to date him\\\
I'd stroke and I'd fellate him\\\
Yeah, but when it was my turn\\\
He did no reciprocatin'\\\
A selfish imp in the sheets\\\
And just as bad in the streets\\\

-->''Oh, Blitzo?\\
I used to date him\\
I'd stroke and I'd fellate him\\
Yeah, but when it was my turn\\
He did no reciprocatin'\\
A selfish imp in the sheets\\
And just as bad in the streets\\

** In ''ComicBook/BirdsOfPrey'' #68, ComicBook/{{Huntress}} tells Dinah and Barbara that Roy Harper/Arsenal was terrible in bed, and even takes the opportunity to make a pun about arrows. [[note]]This was actually a TakeThat by Creator/GailSimone who was unhappy Creator/JuddWinick wrote that Arenal and Huntress had a one-night stand in ''[[ComicBook/BatmanAndTheOutsiders The Outsiders]]''.[[/note]]

Sometimes lousy lovers can also be associated with positive traits, such as being [[HeadTurningBeauty highly attractive]] or [[TheCasanova smooth seducers]], with the idea that because of their attractiveness they think they don't actually have to put any work into the sex itself, therefore end up as unsatisfying partners. As a result, physically undesirable traits, such as ugliness or chubbiness, can sometimes be associated with being sexually satisfying lovers since they will actually put in the effort. Sometimes a good person will be portrayed as a disappointing lover due to the idea that GoodIsBoring. Someone who is considered too "vanilla" and only has sex in a missionary position, while someone who is more morally ambiguous will be more "adventurous", which is why AllGirlsWantBadBoys and EvilIsSexy.

* ''Literature/NineteenEightyFour'': Winston Smith found sex with his estranged wife Katherine enormously boring and frustrating, mainly because Katherine showed no enthusiasm in the act and forced him to do most of the work, often simply [[LieBackAndThinkOfEngland lying there in submission]]. Ironically, it was frequently ''Katherine'' who insisted that they have sex; despite not really enjoying the act, she considered it their duty to the Party to have children.

* ''Literature/GoneGirl'': Though he hardly needs the help (given that he's already shown himself to be possessive, creepy, and with a severe white knight complex that leads him to fetishize rape and eating disorders), Amy also notes that Desi is terrible in bed and hasn't matured past their teenage hookups. [[spoiler:She then murders him and frames him as a serial rapist and a kidnapper.]]

* ''Literature/TheirEyesWereWatchingGod'': At first, Janie's marriage to her second husband Joe Stark is happy and they have a healthy sexual life. But he TookALevelInJerkass becoming more overtly sexist, arrogant, and vain, and their sex begins to become stale to [[SexlessMarriage non-existant]]. He also [[CrazyJealousGuy becomes more jealous and possessive of her]], to the point he attempts to humiliate her in public, only to end up humiliating himself when she talks back and voices his sexual inadequacies among his peers, who all laugh at him for it, deeply humiliating him.

* ''Manga/TwinStarExorcists'': An omake has Rokuro angrily denying that he wants to have a child with Benio and says that she'd probably be like a tuna in bed anyway.[[note]]a Japanese idiom with a similar connotation to "dead fish"[[/note]] Benio immediately [[ComicallyMissingThePoint thinks of the positive characteristics of tuna]] and assumes Rokuro is [[InsultBackfire praising her]] as a {{Determinator}} and LightningBruiser, causing a LuminescentBlush.

** ''ComicBook/TheRiseOfArsenal'': Roy is attacked by his ex-lover [[Characters/TeenTitansCheshire Cheshire]] who blames him for the death of their daughter. Their anger eventually gives way to [[SexForSolace grief-fueled passion and they try to have sex]]. Unfortunately, Roy's depression makes him [[TheLoinsSleepTonight unable to perform]] and his narration has him calling himself "less of a man" and when Jade attempts to comfort him he just sends her away.

** PlayedWith in ''ComicBook/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy'' vol 3 #4. Tony Stark / ComicBook/IronMan has a one-night-stand with GreenSkinnedSpaceBabe Gamora. While we never learn the details, it's clear from the post-coital scene that she was incredibly disappointed while he was mortified (it's implied she [[SpeedSex made him climax]] before her clothes were even out). This is surprising given he's known as TheCasanova back on Earth, implying she was [[SexGoddess too much for a normal human like him to handle]]. Nevertheless, things became awkward between the two ever since, with him feeling incredibly ashamed of his poor performance.

* ''Literature/SugawaraAkitada'': It's heavily implied that Count Tanibata can't pleasure his decades younger wife, being too busy acting like overprotective father than a husband.

* ''Series/GameOfThrones'': PlayedWith in "[[Recap/GameOfThronesS5E3HighSparrow High Sparrow]]". When the virgin and naïve Tommen, who's barely a teen, consummates his ArrangedMarriage to the experienced Margaery Tyrell, who's in her twenties, it's obviously not satisfying for her while he [[SpeedSex gets spent quickly]]. But she's [[PoliticallyActivePrincess too politically savvy]] to let something like that bother her and simply pretends it was an ideal wedding night in order to keep him happy. The next days in court, she acts like they're InsatiableNewlyWeds and spread rumors about how he's "a lion in bed", to create the image that the new boy-king of Westeros is a [[MenAreTough real man]].

** Chad is a massive asshole who is absolutely terrible in bed, thanks to his necrophilia. Dean Munsch finds him a poor lover and Chanel also establishes that she [[FakeOrgasm fakes it]] in bed with him. Though she does jump at every half chance to sleep with him.

* ''Series/SiliconValley'': In "Customer Service", Richard ends up sleeping with Liz and according to her the sex was horrible in every single respect and it ends saving her marriage with Dan because at least he isn't ''that'' bad. He pretends he thought was bad for him too, but it's clear by the way he talks he thought it went fine. PlayedForLaughs when the exchange becomes an OverlyLongGag

* {{Inverted|Trope}} in "Because He Liked To Look At It", from ''Theatre/TheVaginaMonologues''. This monologue is written from the POV of a woman who thanks to an attentive lover she initially dismissed as a loser (he hates spicy food, wears khaki, and does not like Music/{{Prince}}, to her horror), stops thinking of her vagina as ugly.

* ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoV'': Amanda mentions that Trevor was known as a [[SpeedSex one-pump-chump]] back when he and Michael were in a gang, and from what we see of in-game he clearly doesn't give much thought to the pleasure of the hookers he hires.

** On "[[Recap/HelluvaBossS1E7Ozzies Ozzies]]", during Verosika's solo in "House of Asmodeus" she sings about how she was a [[SexGoddess generous lover]] to Blitzo during their relationship, but claims he was selfish and never returned the favor. [[note]]His relationship with Stolas implies he's pretty good in bed, so it seems to be a case of him being selfish and not trying when he was with Verosika.[[/note]]

** In "[[Recap/HelluvaBossS2E1TheCircus The Circus]]", Stella gleefully tells her friends about how Stolas is terrible in bed, claiming he just "[[LieBackAndThinkOfEngland lays there staring at the wall]]" while she has to do all the work, and explicitly derides him for being "pathetic". Naturally, it's heavily implied he simply hates having sex with ''Stella'', mostly because he’s gay but also because she is a horrible person, as he's shown to be a far more active and participant lover when he's with Blitzo, even if he's implied to be [[AggressiveSubmissive still a bottom]].
** In "[[Recap/HelluvaBossS2E3ExesAndOohs Exes And Oohs]]", Chaz is apparently an especially shitty lover despite apparently being well-endowed; both his known exes (Moxxie and Millie) have it as yet another reason to hate the guy, and Blitzo sleeps with him thinking he'll find out what those two love only to end up deriding the shark as one of the ''worst'' lays he's ever had. The implication is that Chaz is just too much of a self-centered sleazeball to please anyone that isn't himself.

* ''Webcomic/LeastICouldDo'': Despite Rayne's ExtremeLibido and the fact he's TheCasanova he's shown to care more about [[ItsAllAboutMe his own pleasure]] than his partners, such as [[https://leasticoulddo.com/comic/20040831 in this strip]] when he walked out on a GirlOfTheWeek after having a quickie because ''he'' already orgasmed, much to her ire.

* ''Webcomic/LasLindas'': Miles is a HandsomeLech who [[SmugSnake thinks he's god's gift to women]], but most of the women he hits on think of him as an AbhorrentAdmirer. When Mora relents and has SexForSolace with him (partially to make Minos jealous) she finds he's actually really awful in bed, being a selfish lover and having [[SpeedSex poor stamina]]. She treats him with contempt and mockery after, and even in future stories after they become less hostile towards each other, she's still prone to tease him for his poor performance, establishing him as a ButtMonkey. Much later, he starts dating Rachael and TookALevelInKindness and even starts to work out to become a {{Hunk}}-body type to match his AmazonianBeauty girlfriend, but when they have TheirFirstTime he ''still'' fails to satisfy her. Miles thinks Rachael will dump him and mock him as Mora did, but due to him being less of a {{Jerkass}}, Rachael treats him much more kindly and says they just need more practice to get used to each other, [[ThrowTheDogABone much to his relief]], and the bonus material shows that he has taken that kindess to heart and improved his performance.

** The strip [[https://www.oglaf.com/submission/ "Submission"]] has a play on the "women are dead fish" type of lousy lover, where a woman propositions another while claiming she's a "submissive" in bed because she doesn't want to do any of the work. The other woman isn't impressed.

** A guy in some random town has a reputation as a SexGod, but after taking him for a tumble, one woman admits that she's underwhelmed. The guy explains that he wanted a magic amulet that enhanced his sexual prowess, but there's no such thing, so instead he got a magic amulet that [[EnslavedTongue makes everyone he sleeps with]] ''[[EnslavedTongue say]]'' [[EnslavedTongue he's amazing in bed.]]

* ''Series/ThirtyRock'': In "[[Recap/ThirtyRockS3E15TheBubble The Bubble]]", Liz is annoyed when she finds out her GuyOfTheWeek Drew is a BrainlessBeauty who's bad at almost everything he does, including sex, but [[IgnorantOfHisOwnIgnorance believes he's not because he lives in his own bubble world where everyone acts like he's great at everything]]. Funny enough, the way she says it to Jack is that Drew is "only as good at sex as I am", implying she knows she herself is bad at sex, but [[HypocriticalHumor just doesn't see the problem with it]].

** The UnsympatheticComedyProtagonist of "JizzedInMyPants", as the title indicates, is so oversensitive he's lucky to barely begin foreplay. Although his dysfunction is so severe it's almost horrifying, comedy comes from how he keeps trying to bed anonymous women he can't please and acting like it isn't a problem.

** In "[[Recap/HelluvaBossS2E1TheCircus The Circus]]", Stella gleefully tells her friends about how Stolas is terrible in bed, claiming he just "[[LieBackAndThinkOfEngland lays there staring at the wall]]" while she has to do all the work, and explicitly derides him for being "pathetic". Naturally, it's heavily implied he simply hates having sex with ''Stella'', as he's shown to be a far more active and participant lover when he's with Blitzo, even if he's implied to be [[AggressiveSubmissive still a bottom]].