History Main / LeavingYouToFindMyself

* Ramona Flowers did this in ''ComicBook/ScottPilgrim''. Though she does come back. [[spoiler:And it turns out she spent her time away doing basically the exact same thing as Scott was during their separation; that is moping around and playing videogames.]]

* On ''{{Series/NCIS}},'' Ziva becomes increasingly erratic and emotionally unstable following the death of her father. After resigning from NCIS for an unrelated reason, she returns to Israel and is confronted with her past as a trained assassin, which makes her re-evaluate [[HeWhoFightsMonsters]]. She becomes the target of an attack and realizes she doesn't want this life anymore, and when [[LoveInterest Tony]] tracks her down, she chooses to remain in Israel to reconnect with herself and rebuild her life. When she cameos in season 17, it's discovered this was never able to happen, because her past caught up with her and things got [[{{Understatement}} complicated.]]

* On ''{{Series/NCIS}},'' Ziva becomes emotionally unmoored following the death of her father, and starts to re-[[HeWhoFightsMonsters evaluate her past]] as a trained assassin. She goes underground and is found by [[LoveInterest Tony,]] but chooses to remain in Israel to rediscover herself and rebuild. And then things got [[{{Understatement}} complicated.]]

* On ''Series/NCIS,'' Ziva becomes emotionally unmoored following the death of her father, and starts to re-[[HeWhoFightsMonsters evaluate her past]] as a trained assassin. She goes underground and is found by [[LoveInterest Tony,]] but chooses to remain in Israel to rediscover herself and rebuild. And then things got [[{{Understatement}} complicated.]]

* In ''Webcomic/FriendlyHostility'', you could argue that Fox was reckless, empathy-challenge, and occasionally downright stupid, but one thing no-one could question was his devotion to his boyfriend, Collin. The pair weathered family woes, financial hardship, and employment issues together, with each prepared to make massive sacrifices for the other...until the denouement, where a more "developed" Collin decided Fox was no longer meeting his needs. All of Fox's positive deeds were obliterated by Collin's AccentuateTheNegative tendencies, and the "grown-up" Collin makes it clear that he wants to move on. He would probably have received the audience's unreserved sympathy if Fox hadn't been [[KarmaHoudiniWarranty trying to change for the better]] while Collin was dithering and angsting while messing with Fox's head.
** WordOfGod has Collin's decision to terminate his relationship with Fox as a major CharacterDevelopment hallmark, explicitly stating in ''Webcomic/OtherPeoplesBusiness'' that Collin was a much more rounded character after ditching Fox, marrying Leon, and returning to [[ManipulativeBastard his parents']] good graces. Meanwhile, Fox had such a complete [[HeroicBSOD romantic BSOD]] that ''his'' family struggled to pick up the pieces. Mitigating factor: Fox and Collin ''did'' try counselling before this. Non-mitigating-factor: by all indications, Collin wasn't half as interested in repairing the relationship as Fox was, and rather than terminate the relationship honestly and face up to the pain he knew he'd cause, Collin tried to do a [[NotStayingForBreakfast moonlight flit]].
* Before ''Friendly Hostility'', the friendship version occurred in ''Webcomic/BoyMeetsBoy''. Skids "grows up", reclaims his proper name, Gio, [[ItsAllJunk gets rid of his hat]]...and moves to New York, resolving never to see his old friends again.

* The first season finale of ''WesternAnimation/ScoobyDooMysteryIncorporated'' has [[spoiler:Fred [[BreakTheCutie find out that]] [[YoureNotMyFather Mayor Jones isn't his real father and took him from his real parents, Brad and Judy of the original Mystery Incorporated,]] [[ScoobyDooHoax to protect the Treasure of Crystal Cove]]. He then breaks up his engagement with Daphne to find his real parents, not long after he stopped being so ObliviousToLove.]]
* In the ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse'' episode "The Question," Ruby decides to be an independent Gem separate from Sapphire after [[spoiler: the reveal that Rose Quartz was really Pink Diamond]] makes them feel as if the whole basis of their [[FusionDance perma-fusion as Garnet]] was a lie. After some much-needed self-exploration [[ItMakesSenseInContext as a cowboy]], she eventually reunites with Sapphire and [[spoiler: asks her to marry her.]]
* ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverseFuture'': The GrandFinale, [[Recap/StevenUniverseFutureS1E20TheFuture "The Future"]], has [[spoiler:Steven leaving the Gems and moving out of Beach City to travel the country; [[LongDistanceRelationship he doesn't stop being Connie's boyfriend]]]].

* A riff on this is the OneLiner, usually found on [[FunTShirt t-shirts]], etc:

For some reason, the partner of such a character is discarded like a trinket in an ItsAllJunk scenario. Sometimes, it's really obvious why this happened - for example, someone that's finally mustered the courage to leave an [[DomesticAbuse abusive or neglectful partner]], or a [[ArrangedMarriage marriage they never wanted]]. But other times, it's more subtle.

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I've heard that when you love someone, you gotta let em go\\
She hollered, 'When I find myself you'll be the first to know.'\\

* The ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' Season 6 finale "Overclockwise" has Leela, aspiring to greater things than her dead-end job at Planet Express and feeling that her relationship with Fry is failing to move forward, moving off-planet and embarking on a new career. [[spoiler:Of course, it's a very brief departure and she returns and reunites with Fry at the end of the episode, confessing that she missed him.]]

* The ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' Season 6 finale "Overclockwise" has Leela, aspiring to greater things than her dead-end job at Planet Express and feeling that her relationship with Fry is failing to move forward, moving off-planet and embarking on a new career. [[spoiler:Of course, she returns and reunites with Fry at the end of the episode.]]

* In season 4 of ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'', Oz leaves Willow to go learn how to better control [[OurWerewolvesAreDifferent his inner wolf]]. He succeeds (somewhat) but when he returns, she's moved on. [[SuddenlySexuality To another girl, at that.]]

* A variation occurs in ''Film/LegallyBlonde''. At the beginning, Elle thinks her boyfriend, Warner, who has aspirations to be a politician, is going to propose to her, but he dumps her saying that he needs to marry someone who's not going to be a simple TrophyWife. She follows him to Harvard Law School, where she finds out that he only got in because his father bribed the admission council, and she earns a reputation as a competent up-and-coming lawyer. After winning a difficult trail near the end of the movie, Warner tries to get back together with Elle, saying that she would complement his brilliance and aspirations, Elle rejects him and says if she would date anyone, it would be someone who is supportive of her aspirations from the get-go.

* In ''Theatre/{{Chicago}}'', one of the girls in the "Cell Block Tango" number mentions how her lover, Al Lipschitz, would go out every night looking for himself. "And on the way, he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary...[[BiTheWay and Irving]]!"

Sentimental characters might decide they need to be "better people" before returning to their partner. Just what this actually ''means'' is left for the reader to figure out. In this case, their partner will probably [[LoveMartyr wait as long as it takes]] for their beloved to finally decide to come home. Some other characters who leave their partners in these circumstances take time out to evaluate what they want from life, since apparently it hasn't occurred to them to do that ''before'' they got married and had kids.

Others though, seem to discard perfectly good and loving partners for no other reason than that that particular person reminds them of their past...or, more selfishly, they've decided that after years in a committed relationship, they "deserve" to experience other people and leave their loyal lover in the dust, blinking in confusion. Extra KickTheDog points if this lover has stuck by them through thick and thin. The author may [[JustifiedTrope try to justify this]] with claims that their partner was "holding them back" or "too dependent on them." This explanation has varying degrees of success - a possessive partner who doesn't want their lover to cross the threshold of the house won't get much support from the audience, but a loyal husband or wife who has [[TheCaretaker nursed their spouse]] through illness, only to be dumped the instant the doctor gives them the all clear, certainly will. After all, if the partner only gets discarded after the IllGirl (or boy) gets better, it [[UnfortunateImplications begins to look like]] the ill partner was only using them to get through the illness. Surely if they wanted to get out of the relationship ''that'' badly, the illness wouldn't have stopped them?

** It's a real head-scratcher, because it isn't explained where he went or what he did while there, or what everyone else has been up to while he's gone. It looked like they were going to ''try'' to do a sequel, but for some reason never did, so it's just a CliffHanger.

* A variation occurs in ''Film/LegallyBlonde''. At the beginning, Elle thinks her boyfriend, Warner, who has aspirations to be a politician, is going to propose to her, but he dumps her saying that he needs to marry someone who's not going to be a simple [[TrophyWife trophy wife.]] She follows him to Harvard Law School, where she finds out that he only got in because his father bribed the admission council, and she earns a reputation as a competent up and coming lawyer. After winning a difficult trail near the end of the movie, Warner tries to get back together with Elle, saying that she would complement his brilliance and aspirations, Elle rejects him and says if she would date anyone, it would be someone who is supportive of her aspirations from the get go.

* One of the plot points in ''TheSolitaireMystery'' by JosteinGaarder. The main character's mother, Anita, has left them to find herself, and the protagonist and his father are taking a roadtrip to Athens to get her back.

* Sophie, from ''Series/{{Leverage}}'', in a inoffensive and justified version. She's trying to ditch the personas that make her nothing but a conwoman, and she has to leave the team in order to sort through them.
* Lily attempted this on ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'': When she was offered an art fellowship in San Francisco, she took it because she regretted not having followed her dream of becoming an artist and wanted to find out who she was without Marshall, as the two had been practically inseparable since their first week of college. She doesn't really want to break up, but Marshall told her [[CareerVersusMan she had to choose]], since he refused to put off their imminent wedding in order to wait months for her to come back and decide if she was ready yet. When she ''does'' come back, it becomes a BreakUpToMakeUp scenario for them both, once Marshall realized a break was good for them, telling her they should continue to figure out who they are without each other, and initially rejecting her when she tried to make up. However, they ultimately get back together a few months later and stay together for the rest of the series.

* Implied in the ''Series/GilmoreGirls'' when Rory's rebellious boyfriend [[{{JerkWithAHeartOfGold}} Jess]] runs away to find his real father. He pops again months later and it's obvious he [[{{AnguishedDeclarationOfLove}} never stopped loving her]], but needed to sort himself out before committing. Sure enough when he returns years later, he's a [[{{SelfMadeMan}} successful author and publisher]] whose example actually inspires Rory to get ''her own life'' together at a particular low-point where ''she'' was looking for herself.

* The song "Come Back To Me" is set through the dumped's POV. However despite the title, the lyrics suggest that the person accepts that their LoveInterest needs to find themselves, and that they will wait for the loved one to return.

* In ''Theatre/{{Chicago}}'', one of the girls in the "Cell Block Tango" number mentions how her lover, Al Lipschitz, would go out every night looking for himself. "And on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary...and Irving!"

* In ''Webcomic/FriendlyHostility'', you could argue that Fox was reckless, empathy-challenge and occasionally downright stupid, but one thing no-one could question was his devotion to his boyfriend, Collin. The pair weathered family woes, financial hardship and employment issues together, with each prepared to make massive sacrifices for the other...until the denouement, where a more "developed" Collin decided Fox was no longer meeting his needs. All of Fox's positive deeds were obliterated by Collin's AccentuateTheNegative tendencies, and the "grown up" Collin makes it clear that he wants to move on. He would probably have received the audience's unreserved sympathy if Fox hadn't been [[KarmaHoudiniWarranty trying to change for the better]] while Collin was dithering and angsting while messing with Fox's head.

* In ''Theatre/{{Chicago}}'', one of the girls in the "Cell Block Tango" number mentions how her lover, Al Lipschitz, would go out every night looking for himself. "And on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary...and [[BiTheWay Irving]]!"

* ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverseFuture'': The GrandFinale, [[Recap/StevenUniverseFutureS1E20TheFuture "The Future"]], has [[spoiler:Steven leaves the Gems and moves out of Beach City to travel the country; [[LongDistanceRelationship he doesn't stop being Connie's boyfriend]]]].

-->-- Music/{{Lonestar}}, "No News"

->''"She said 'It's just a woman thing" and pulled out of the drive\\

She hollered, "When I find myself you'll be the first to know.'\\

->''She said "It's just a woman thing" and pulled out of the drive\\

She hollered, "When I find myself you'll be the first to know."\\
Ooh. No news.''

* Ramona Flowers did this in ''ComicBook/ScottPilgrim''. Though she does come back.

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* Lily attempted this on ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'': When she was offered an art fellowship in San Francisco, she took it because she regretted not having followed her dream of becoming an artist and wanted to find out who she was without Marshall, as the two had been practically inseparable since their first week of college. She doesn't really want to break up, but Marshall told her [[CareerVersusMan she had to choose]], since he refused to put off their imminent wedding in order to wait months for her to come back and decide if she was ready yet. When she ''does'' come back, it becomes a BreakUpToMakeUp scenario for them both, once Marshall realized a break was good for them, telling her they should continue to figure out who they are without each other, and initially rejecting her when she tried to make up.

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* In ''Theatre/NextToNormal'', Dan has coped with Diana's bipolar disorder for over a decade and, recently, while struggling with his own depression. As the play nears the end, Diana decides she needs to cope on her own (oddly enough, by running off to her parents' house...) and leaves Dan behind with the farewell gift of their dead son's spectre. Needless to say, he isn't too happy about this, but both sides are seen as sympathetic.

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