History Main / ItsNotYouItsMe

* Mixed with [[spoiler:SinsOfOurFathers]] in ''Anime/{{Penguindrum}}'', when [[spoiler:Shouma cuts off contact with his friend/love interest Ringo, as his family has connections with the incident in which her older sister Momoka died]]. [[spoiler:Subverted later: after a certain incident in an ''onsen'' with Ringo and Yuri, the contact is re-taken]].
* In ''Manga/CandyCandy'', [[spoiler: Terry leaves the BoardingSchool half to rebel against his neglectful father, half to stop causing troubles to Candy.]]
* Lucy in ''Manga/ElfenLied'' loves Kouta, but feels she can't be with him [[spoiler: because she killed his family in front of him, and because as the Diclonius Queen, she is meant to wage war on humans for the sake of her species]].

* In the ''Series/{{Friends}}'' episode "The One with the Thumb", the characters discuss "dating language":

* ''[[ComicBook/RobinSeries Robin]]'': When Tim breaks off his relationship with Zoanne he puts all the blame on himself. Their relationship was already failing due to him standing her up when they were supposed to go on dates and the fact that they were both still trying to figure out if they liked each other romantically when Stephanie came back into Tim's life and he realized he still loved her.

* Kanon tries this in the second arc of ''VisualNovel/UminekoWhenTheyCry''. He does this to spare Jessica heartbreak from loving someone who can't love her back. After all, [[CatchPhrase he is furniture]]. [[spoiler:Considering how it's revealed later on that there's something ''very'' wrong with Kanon physically due to injuries from being thrown off a cliff, he's probably justified in doing this.]]

* ''Series/{{Farscape}}'' plays it straight, sort of:
-->'''Aeryn''': (after an unsuccessful pickup attempt by another character) Now, don't feel bad. It's not you, it's me. ''I'' don't like ''you''.

* ''Fanfic/TheChildOfLove'': After losing badly against an Angel, Shinji gets depressed because he thinks he is unable to protect Asuka and their child, ergo, he is unfit to be her boyfriend and Teri's father, so he breaks up, thinking she will find someone better and stronger. [[ArmorPiercingSlap Asuka reacts as calmly as you would expect]], and Misato and she spend an entire month trying to reason with him until [[spoiler:Asuka had a long talk with him and they reconciled.]]

* "All Too Well" says, "Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much / But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up."

* George from ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' claims to have invented this trope (see the quote).

* Subverted in ''Series/{{Coupling}}'' when Patrick tries to break up through her answerphone with one of his numerous conquests :
-->Um, I want to put this as gently as possible: I've been thinking a lot about the future, and you're not in it. So, sorry, it's not me, it's you...No, hang on, it's the other way around, isn't it?
** Steve does it in the first episode to Jane, who of course asks him why she's getting dumped instead of her dumping him. Steve runs with this, telling her to dump him, to which she replies "Noooooo! We can work on your problems!'

* When Robin on ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'' once broke up with a boyfriend, she also "broke up" with his 10-year-old son. On realizing that nobody had broken up with him before, she was relieved that she could throw every cliched breakup line at him and he would believe her. "It's not you, it's me." "I'm going through a lot of stuff right now." "I just want to focus on my career." etc. etc.

* In ''Manga/ServantXService'', this is the reason why Lucy rejected Yutaka's offer to start dating. Initially, Yutaka was oblivious to it, and upon discovering it, he was quite happy � it means there's still a chance he can change her mind.

[[caption-width-right:350:The sadistic version]]

* In ''Literature/{{Pact}}'', Blake Thorburn turns down an offer from his friend Alexis to be FriendsWithBenefits, telling her that it's due to his [[TheFirstCutIsTheDeepest issues with intimacy]] and assuring her that if it weren't for that, he would go for it.

* In ''Fanfic/BecomingTheMaskTrollhunters'', after Claire kisses him on the cheek twice, Jim decides to let her down easy and tell her that he is not into her.
* This is Harriett's reaction in ''Fanfic/TheRigelBlackChronicles'' to finding out that [[spoiler: Draco Malfoy]] is interested in her. She really can't afford to date anyone in her cover identity as Rigel Black, or she'll be found out and face a life sentence in Azkaban -- but also, because she's hiding so much, she's not sure that anyone who falls for Rigel really knows her.

* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Minions}}'', after jailing the Minions, Scarlet starts to tell them "It's not you..." then changes her mind. "No wait, it is you."

* Literature/{{Oblomov}} to Olga.

* In the twelfth ''Literature/TanteiTeamKZJikenNote'' novel ''The Valentine Knows'', Sunahara used that twice in an attempt to distance from Aya, animated as episodes 14 and 15. Neither of them works, as Aya's having a crush on him and was overly troubled by his apparent association with JapaneseDelinquents.

* ''Series/TheITCrowd'' plays with this when Douglas discovers that his TemporaryLoveInterest is {{Transgender}}:

* Mixed with [[spoiler:SinsOfOurFathers]] in ''Anime/MawaruPenguindrum'', when [[spoiler:Shouma cuts off contact with his friend/love interest Ringo, as his family has connections with the incident in which her older sister Momoka died]]. [[spoiler:Subverted later: after a certain incident in an ''onsen'' with Ringo and Yuri, the contact is re-taken]].

* In the Pre-Crisis universe, Franchise/{{Superman}} had several personal reasons to resist a romance, and they vary depending on the story and era. In ''Comicbook/KryptonNoMore'', he considers himself an outsider. In ''Comicbook/WhatEverHappenedToTheManOfTomorrow'', he cannot choose between Comicbook/LoisLane and Comicbook/LanaLang because his choice would hurt Lana, and he would never want to hurt her.

* In the ''VisualNovel/KatawaShoujo'' fanfic ''FanFic/{{Sisterhood}}'', Hanako says basically this when (attempting to) breaking up with Hisao. The reason she feels that way is when Hisao had a heart attack in front of her, she suffered a panic attack and froze up, resulting in a passing stranger having to call the ambulance for the both of them. Hisao rejects this reasoning and manages to convince her that it's okay that she has issues too: they can work through it.

* In the twelfth Literature/TanteiTeamKZJikenNote novel ''The Valentine Knows'', Sunahara used that twice in an attempt to distance from Aya, animated as episodes 14 and 15. Neither of them works, as Aya's having a crush on him and was overly troubled by his apparent association with JapaneseDelinquents.

* Mixed with [[spoiler:SinsofOurFathers]] in ''Anime/MawaruPenguindrum'', when [[spoiler:Shouma cuts off contact with his friend/love interest Ringo, as his family has connections with the incident in which her older sister Momoka died]]. [[spoiler:Subverted later: after a certain incident in an ''onsen'' with Ringo and Yuri, the contact is re-taken]].

[[folder: Anime and Manga ]]

[[folder: Comic Books ]]

* ''[[ComicBook/RobinSeries Robin]]'': When Tim breaks off his relationship with Zoanne he puts all the blame on himself. Their relationship was already failing due to him standing her up when they were supposed to go on dates, and the fact that they were both still trying to figure out if they liked each other romantically when Stephanie came back into Tim's life and he realized he still loved her.

[[folder:FanWorks]]

* In the ''VisualNovel/KatawaShoujo'' fanfic ''FanFic/{{Sisterhood}}'', Hanako says basically this when (attempting to) breaking up with Hisao. The reason she feels that way is when Hisao had a heart attack in front of her, she suffered a panic attack and froze up, resulting in a passing stranger having to call the ambulance for the both of them. Hisao rejects this reasoning, and manages to convince her that it's okay that she has issues too: they can work through it.

[[folder: Films -- Animated ]]

* Played for laughs in ''WesternAnimation/StrangeMagic'' when Princess Dawn says this verbatim to the Bog King. She had only been in love with him because of an accidental hit with a [[LovePotion love potion]] and had been very annoying and clingy during that time. Needless to say, he is very relived. [[spoiler: He's also in love with her sister anyways.]]

[[folder: Films -- Live-Action ]]

* Jacob does this in the film version of ''Film/NewMoon'', when he tries to distance from Bella after discovering he's a werewolf.

* A non-romantic example comes up in ''Film/WhatAboutBob''. The title character suffers from pantophobia (fear of everything.) While sanitizing a pay phone, he says this trope word for word to the woman who has just finished using it.

[[folder: Literature ]]

* In the twelveth Literature/TanteiTeamKZJikenNote novel ''The Valentine Knows'', Sunahara used that twice in in an attempt in distancing from Aya, animated as episodes 14 and 15. Neither of them work, as Aya's having a crush on him and was overly troubled on his apparent association with JapaneseDelinquents.

[[folder: Live Action TV ]]

-->Um, I want to put this as gently as possible : I've been thinking a lot about the future, and you're not in it. So, sorry, it's not me, it's you...No, hang on, it's the other way around, isn't it?

* When Robin on ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'' once broke up with a boyfriend, she also "broke up" with his 10 year old son. On realizing that nobody had broken up with him before, she was relieved that she could throw ever cliched breakup line at him and he would believe her. "It's not you, it's me." "I'm going through a lot of stuff right now." "I just want to focus on my career." etc. etc.
** [[ShipperOnDeck Lily becomes really, really excited when she finds out that Robin and Barney kissed,]] but they tell her that it was just a one time thing. Brokenhearted, Lily asks if it's something she did. "Oh God no. It's not you, Lily, it's us." (With "We'll totally [[JustFriends still be friends]]" thrown in as a bonus). Her response is [[IJustWantMyBelovedToBeHappy "As long as you're happy, I'm happy."]] Cut to her sobbing and eating a gallon of ice cream in bed.

[[folder: Professional Wrestling ]]

[[folder: Theatre ]]

[[folder: Video Games ]]

** Anders gets in on the action as well if you choose to romance him. He constantly declares all the reasons why he and Hawke couldn't be together (including the fact that he is an apostate, could never give Hawke a normal life and the [[BrainwashedAndCrazy fact he is]] [[DemonicPossession possessed by Justice]]) but in the end, if Hawke continues to pursue him, he gives in anyways.

[[folder: Webcomics ]]

[[folder: Fan Works ]]

* The PlayerCharacter can use this line to break up with Leliana in ''VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins''. She will call you out on doing so, however, and demand the real explanation.

* In the TV adaptation of Creator/TerryPratchett's ''Discworld/GoingPostal'', guilt-ridden [[TheHero Moist von Lipwig]] says to his love interest, "But you really have to stay away from me. It's not you, it's me." She replies, "Oh! [[{{Cliche}} Cliches]], as well, now I really am insulted." It takes Lipwig's written confession of his crimes to make her believe he did mean the last part.

** Later in the same episode, when Spike gets a call from Natalie, he answers with, "Hey. It still isn't you."

''Natalie:''' Okay. (''{{Beat}}'') But...it's not me, right?\\