History Main / ItsNotYouItsMe

* Prue in ''Series/{{Charmed}}'' uses this line repeatedly when her boyfriend Andy gets upset that she's keeping secrets from him and missing dates, and also when she eventually breaks up with him.

* A non-romantic example comes up in ''Film/WhatAboutBob''. The title character suffers from pantophobia (fear of everything.) He says this trope word for word when explains to a woman why he's sanitizing a pay phone she has just finished using.

-->'''Douglas:''' It's not you, it's me. No actually, it is you.

* ''Series/TheITCrowd'' plays with this when Douglas discovers that his TemporaryLoveInterest is a {{Transsexual}}:

* In ''LadyInTheDark'', Liza says this to Kendall Nesbitt.

* In the Swedish comic ''ComicBook/{{Rocky}}'', the titular character's girlfriend tells him that there are a couple thing she needs to talk with him about. Rocky, being GenreSavvy, predicts that the breakup clichés are going to pile up, and correctly enough, his girlfriend proceeds to tell him that "I don't know what I feel anymore" and "I need to be alone for a while", after this she, with tears in her eyes, asks him to say something, and he simply and bitterly answers "You forgot 'It's not you. It's me'!"

* Some political pundits have described [[UsefulNotes/WithBritainButNotOfIt Britain's Article 50 letter to the European Union]] (basically the geopolitical equivalent of a divorce) as this. See [[https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/mar/29/end-of-the-affair-may-finds-breaking-up-with-eu-is-hard-to-do here]] and [[https://order-order.com/2017/03/29/pmqs-article-50-double-bill/ here]], which both use the exact phrase.

* ''Webcomic/TheGodsOfArrKelaan'' played this with a God dismissing his High Priest.
* The [[http://www.leasticoulddo.com/comic/20030211 second strip]] of ''Webcomic/LeastICouldDo'' combines this with BrutalHonesty and JerkAss.
* Spoofed in ''Webcomic/SomethingPositive''. "It's not you, it's me. I don't want to be involved with a pussy."
** Also referenced [[http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp01142005.shtml here]].
* [[http://headtripcomics.comicgenesis.com/d/20100308.html Used]] in ''Webcomic/HeadTrip'', without any romantic connotations to a demon.

* In a ''{{Speedbump}}'' cartoon (by Dave Coverly), he gives an example of the worst use of this line, in which an angel tells this to her devil boyfriend.
* This is [[InvertedTrope inverted]] in ''Webcomic/WapsiSquare'' where this phrase is used to [[http://wapsisquare.com/comic/10212004/ start a relationship.]] The inversion is then promptly [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded.]]
* In ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive'', [[spoiler:Susan]] [[http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2012-03-19 uses this]] in an attempt to let Matt down easy after rejecting his advance. She goes on to justify the line though, explaining why it is probably her and not him.

[[folder: Film ]]

* Subverted and inverted in ''Film/EuroTrip.''
-->'''Fiona:''' Scotty, it's not you, it's me. ({{beat}}) There I go, lying again. No, it was you.
%% * Played straight in ''Film/HotTubTimeMachine'', when Adam dumped his girlfriend. [[spoiler: And also in the AlternateTimeline, when ''she'' dumped ''him'' (which she was gonna do in the original timeline anyway).]]
* Jacob does this in the film version of ''Film/NewMoon'', when he tries to distance from Bella after discovering he's a werewolf.

* Uhura gave Spock the "It's not you, it's me" speech when they broke up at the beginning of ''Film/StarTrekBeyond'': [=McCoy=]'s take on the situation? "When an Earth woman says 'It's not you, it's me', it's definitely you."

[[AC:{{Anime}} and {{Manga}}]]

* In ''Manga/ServantXService'', this is the reason why Lucy rejected Yutaka's offer to start dating. Initially, Yutaka was oblivious to it, and upon discovering it, he was quite happy — it means there's still a chance he can change her mind.

[[AC:ComicBooks]]

* In the Swedish comic ''ComicBook/{{Rocky}}'', the titular character's girlfriend tells him that there are a couple thing she needs to talk with him about. Rocky, being GenreSavvy, predicts that the breakup clichés are going to pile up, and correctly enough, his girlfriend proceeds to tell him that "I don't know what I feel anymore" and "I need to be alone for a while", after this she, with tears in her eyes, asks him to say something, and he simply and bitterly answers "You forgot 'It's not you. It's me'!"

[[AC:FanWorks]]

'''Shinji:''' I'm… not going to leave.\\

'''Asuka:''' You … what? Why?\\
'''Shinji:''' You told me that if I couldn't live for myself, then … I should live for those around me. I … I can't live for myself, Asuka. So I'll live for someone else instead. I'll live for you."

[[AC:{{Film}}]]

[[AC:{{Literature}}]]

[[AC:LiveActionTV]]

* Simone of ''Dårfinkar & dönickar'', masquerading as a boy, uses this line on a girl who's interested in her. The truth is, of course, that the attractive boy Simon is really a she.

[[AC:Professional Wrestling]]

[[AC:{{Theatre}}]]

[[AC:VideoGames]]

[[AC:{{Webcomics}}]]

->''"Why do I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive?"''

* Uhuru gave Spock the "It's not you, it's me" speech when they broke up at the beginning of ''Film/StarTrekBeyond'': [=McCoy=]'s take on the situation? "When an Earth woman says 'It's not you, it's me', it's definitely you."

* Kanon tries this in the second arc of ''VisualNovel/UminekoNoNakuKoroNi''. He does this to spare Jessica heartbreak from loving someone who can't love her back. After all, [[CatchPhrase he is furniture]]. [[spoiler:Considering how it's revealed later on that there's something ''very'' wrong with Kanon physically due to injuries from being thrown off a cliff, he's probably justified in doing this.]]

* Ellen of ''SlingsAndArrows'' gives this line to her much younger boyfriend Sloan shortly after he asks her to marry him, saying that he deserves better than a middle-aged woman caught up in a drama-filled world (the theatre) that she can't let him into.

* Subverted in ''{{Coupling}}'' when Patrick tries to break up through her answerphone with one of his numerous conquests :

* DawsonsCreek: Played honestly at the end of season 4 when Pacey and Joey break up because he believes she can do better and he's holding her back from her future after graduation.
* In the ''{{Friends}}'' episode "The One with the Thumb", the characters discuss "dating language":

* Caroline in ''TheVampireDiaries'' manipulates her boyfriend Matt into breaking up with her since, as a young vampire, she lacks the self-control to not rip his throat out in an intimate moment.

* In ''That70sShow'', Nina breaks up with Fez using this line. When she wants to get back together later in the episode, he blows her off with a mocking "It's not me, it's you".

* Joked with in ''Franchise/OnePiece'', Chapter 489/Episode 381.
-->'''[[{{Gonk}} Lola]]:''' Thanks. In the end, you've done everything for us!! We could never hope to repay you, even with a lifetime of thanks!! I'll offer to marry you.\\

* In CandyCandy, [[spoiler: Terry leaves the BoardingSchool half to rebel against his neglectful father, half to stop causing troubles to Candy.]]

* ''[[Manga/YoureUnderArrest You're Under Arrest!]]'' plays this straight in episode 33, when [[DaChief Kachou]] finally reveals why he doesn't reciprocate Natsumi's feelings for him:
-->'''Kachou: (aloud, to himself)''' "You're [[SingleWomanSeeksGoodMan a good girl, Tsujimoto.]] If only I were 20 years younger..."