History Main / IfIWantedXIWouldY

* Parodied in ''FistOfFun'': During a discussion about water pollution Stuart Lee asks Richard Herring if he wants to swim in raw sewage. Herring replies "Stuart, if I wanted to swim in raw sewage I'd..." and then details a highly developed plan to break into the local sewage works. Lee quickly realises that yes, he really does.

* In ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'', a villain once tells Dresden that if the villain wanted his opinion, the villain would [[ImpliedDeathThreat read it out of his entrails.]]

* In ''Film/MortalKombat'', when Johnny Cage and Liu Kang come to Sonya's aid when confronted by Shang Tsung:
-->'''Sonya''': If I want backup, I'll radio for it.
-->(Scorpion and Sub-Zero enter the room)
-->'''Johnny''': [[SnarkToSnarkCombat Got that radio handy?]]

-->'''Johnny''': [[SnarkToSnarkCombat Got that radio ready?]]

* Doug Stanhope MoralGuardians this way:

* One comedian joked about MoralGuardians this way:
-->‘If God wanted women to practice prostitution, he would have given them free will and a vagina!’ [''{{Beat}}'']

* In one episode of ''Series/WhosTheBoss', Jonathan decides he wants to be a stand-up comedian. His routine consists of a lot of unfunny and, at time nonsensical, "what is the deal with that?" style jokes. When talking about sushi, he says "If I wanted to eat raw fish, I'd bite a river".

[[DescribeTopicHere If I wanted to describe If I Wanted X I Would Y here, I would go to TV Tropes...]] [[WhereDoYouThinkYouAre wait a minute.]]

This will almost always be said in a {{Deadpan Snark|er}} manner, and often has a TakeThat on either side of the line (or both).

This will almost always be said in a {{Deadpan Snark|er}} manner.

* ''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic'', in his review of TheodoreRex:

* Dr. Kelso pulls this one out a lot on Scrubs, along with the similar; "I'll tell you the same thing I told X, '[related pun]'."

* LewisBlack on the tax code:

[[DescribeTopicHere If I wanted to describe If I Wanted X I Would Y here, I would go to TV Tropes... wait a minute.]]

-->And if I wanted loneliness I'd chose to go

-->'''Van:''' "If I wanted to sleep through half of the episode, I would have watched..."
-->List of series flashed rapidly: WolfsRain, {{Gungrave}}, [[GhostInTheShellStandAloneComplex GitS: SAC]], Anime/ParanoiaAgent, {{Mushishi}}, BoogiepopPhantom, [[OddNameOut Hi, Mom!]], SerialExperimentsLain, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick squirrels do it]], {{Samurai 7}}, Anime/SoulTaker, CasshernSins, KinosJourney
-->'''Van:''' "''WitchHunterRobin''."

[[DescribeTopicHere If I wanted to describeIf IWanted X I Would Y here, I would go to TV Tropes... wait a minute.]]

If I wanted [[DescribeTopicHere to describe]] [[TitleDrop If IWanted X I Would Y]] here, I would go to Wiki/TVTropes... [[OhWait wait a minute]].

Compare XCalledTheyWantTheirYBack.

!!InUniverseExamplesOnly

* In a ''DragonballAbridged'' video, Nappa says he likes ''Manga/{{Naruto}}'', and Vegeta says, "If I wanted to watch a hundred episodes of {{Filler}}, I'd watch ''Manga/InuYasha''."

-->''(Present Toadsworth is freaking out)''
-->'''Past Toadsworth''': ''(...)'' Really, if I wished to witness myself embarrassing myself, I'd belch in front of a mirror.