History Main / IfIHadANickel

* ''WesternAnimation/FostersHomeForImaginaryFriends'' episode "Frankie My Dear":

* Happens at the end of ''VisualNovel/CrownDelightsDeli'' during your discussion with Mr. Javier about Maverick.
--> '''[[PlayerCharacter Jules]]''': If I had a dollar for every time he called me punk...\\

* Lara Croft gets a really strange and hilarious one in ''VideoGame/TombRaiderTheAngelOfDarkness''. Apparently, nickels don't cut it...
-->'''Lara:''' If I had a coconut for everyone who said that...
* ''VideoGame/MinecraftStoryMode'' has this exchange in Episode 7, "Access Denied":
-->'''PAMA:''' Your defeat remains... inevitable.
-->'''Jesse:''' If I only had a piece of iron for every time I've heard ''that'' before.
* ''VideoGame/PrinceOfPersiaTheTwoThrones'':
-->'''Mahasti:''' You missed your time! The Vizier has already begun to transform the women I imprisoned! You buy yourself hours at best!\\
'''The Prince:''' ''(knocks Mahasti over the edge of the rooftop)'' If I had some sands for every time someone said that to me. ''(a cloud of sand comes to him from Mahasti's corpse)'' Oh! I do!

* ''[[VideoGame/EASportsStreet NFL Street]]'' has this as a common taunt for a run play that doesn't go well: "If I had a nickel for every yard you just ran, I'd be broke! Flat broke!"

* ''Videogame/TheSecretWorld'': [[{{Mummy}} Säid]] provides his own variation, after being given some poorly-done threats he brushes off like all others:
-->'''Säid:''' If I had a pebble for every thug who tried to shake me down the last three thousand years, I'd build a great pyramid of my own.
* In ''VideoGame/LamplightCity'', during an investigation, Miles Fordham, comes across an old case about the murder of a sex worker, Lilly, which relates to a case he is currently investigating. Having learned that Serafina, the madam at the brothel Lilly worked at, still keeps her possessions in a locker [[TragicKeepsake because she cannot bring herself to get rid of them]], he asks Ruby, another woman that works at the place, if he could get to see Lilly's possessions. Ruby is hesitant to do this, as she is not sure if Serafina would approve of it, referring to how much Lilly meant to her. Miles assures her that Serafina doesn't have to know and he promises her that he is only going to "look, not touch." Ruby mutters "If I had a crown for every time I heard that..." under her breath at this.

* In the ''Series/AreYouAfraidOfTheDark'' episode, "The Tale of Station," a supernatural radio station operator for the undead, upon being told that his latest "customer" isn't actually dead, responds that, if he had a dime for every time tried to weasel out of death... it wouldn't matter to him because he's dead and has no use for money.

* In the ''Series/AreYouAfraidOfTheDark'' episode, "The Tale of Station," a supernatural radio station operator for the undead, upon being told that his latest "customer" isn't actually dead, responds that, if he had a dime for every time someone said they weren't supposed to be dead... it wouldn't matter to him because he's dead and has no use for money.

* ''VideoGame/AnimalCrossing'': One response you may get if you send a nonsensical letter: "Man, if I had a Bell for every note I didn't get, well... I'd have a lot of Bells for sure!"

* OlderThanTelevision in ''Under-Cover Man'' (1932):

* In the ''Literature/DoctorWhoNewAdventures'' novel ''Recap/DoctorWhoNewAdventuresDeathAndDiplomacy Death and Diplomacy]]'', the Doctor tells the Hollow Gods that if he had a penny for every time he'd heard the phrase "You will obey our every command", he'd have forty-seven pounds, nine shillings, and fourpence. Which he acknowledges isn't a lot of money, but is still an impressive number of times.

* In the ''Series/AreYouAfraidOfTheDark'' episode, "The Tale of Station," a supernatural radio station operator for the undead, upon being told that his latest "customer" isn't actually dead, responds that, if he had a dime for every time someone said they weren't supposed to be dead... it wouldn't matter to him beacause he's dead and has no use for money.

* ''Webcomic/{{Overcompensating}}'': Parodied in [[http://www.overcompensating.com/oc/index.php?comic=97 comic 97]]. Jeffrey wishes he had a nickel for every time he'd seen a crazy lady yell at a dog in a parking lot thinking he'd be a quadrillionaire and is visited by the Fairy Of Actual Nickels, who hands him a bag of nickels amounting to $41.65.

* On Creator/MoBrosStudios's tutorial on ''WebAnimation/YouTubePoop'', he says that if he had a nickel for every time there was a [[DiscreditedMeme WTF Boom]] joke in a [=YouTube=] Poop, there would be a calculator overload.

** In the episode "Ron Millionaire": "If I had a nickel for every time I heard that [talking about Bonnie's comment]… I could have grande-sized!" The plot of the episode revolved around Ron actually receiving a huge royalty check from Bueno Nacho tabulated as a nickel for ever Naco (a fast-food entree of his own invention) sold.

* ''WesternAnimation/TheXs'' had a double subversion. When dad said that if he had a nickel for every time his cooking skills saved his life, he stopped to make the calculation, and said he would have 5 dollars. While the money isn't a lot, that actually is a lot of Life saving.

* If a nickel popped out for every joke at the expense of [[AcceptableTargets [insert popular hate target here]]], nobody would be poor.

... for every-time I'd seen this trope, I'd have... [[WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb well, I guess I could buy a candy bar or something...]]

-->-- '''Doofenshmirtz''', ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerbTheMovieAcrossThe2ndDimension''

* ''ComicBook/Batman1966'': "Devilishly [[ComicBook/TheJoker clown prince of crime]]! If I only had a nickel for every time he's baffled us!"

* In ''ComicBook/Batgirl2009'' #14, Kara Zor-El -- alias Comicbook/{{Supergirl}} -- and Stephanie Brown -- alias Comicbook/{{Batgirl}} II -- are about to fight a sobbing Dracula (long story).

* Franchise/SpiderMan: Spidey responding to a threat made by the Green Goblin during the "Goblins at the Gate" arc.

* [[https://garfield.com/comic/1993/10/14 Jon said he'd be rich if he had a dollar for every cat hair on his rug]]. ''ComicStrip/{{Garfield}}'' said he was doing his part.

* Franchise/{{Superman}}, as Clark Kent, in ''Film/SupermanIII'': "If I had a dime for every kid who asked me to get Superman's autograph..."

* Film-related, ''Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy'' [[http://comicbook.com/2014/09/07/guardians-of-the-galaxys-global-box-office-passes-iron-man-to-be/ writer-director James Gunn]], as quoted atop our AndYouThoughtItWouldFail page:

* ''Literature/GossipGirl'':

* The ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'':

* ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'': Played with in a "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey" sketch which goes, "I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because, yahoo! I'd have all my money back!"

* ''Series/{{Supernatural}}''. In "What's Up, Tiger Mommy?", the [[DemonicPossession demon Crowley possesses Kevin Tran's mother]], and manages to combine this trope with his usual DoubleEntendre.
-->'''Kevin:''' Get out of her!\\
'''Crowley:''' If I had a nickel for every time someone screamed that at me...
* ''Series/TheProfessionals'', from "Servant of Two Masters".
-->'''Plumb:''' My name's Plumb.\\
'''Bodie:''' Hello, [[https://victoriaplum.com/ Victoria]].\\
'''Plumb:''' I wish I had a pound for every time I've suffered that one...
* ''Series/{{Wiseguy}}''. Knox Pooley is the leader of a right-wing group. While making a RousingSpeech he raises the question of who is to blame for the mess the country is in, then makes a politically incorrect quip about it.
-->"Some say it's the Jews. Hell, if I had a dollar for every time I've heard that [[GreedyJew I'd be Jewish myself!]]"
* ''Series/CrisisOnEarthX''.
-->'''Iris:''' I thought we were gonna die.\\
'''Felicity:''' If I had a dime for every time I thought that, I...I'd have $2. 40. ''(beat)'' I really thought I'd have more than that.
* From the ''Series/OddSquad'' episode "No Ifs, Ands or Robots", regarding Orchid's toy being turned into a juice box.
-->'''Olive:''' Whoa whoa. That wasn't Oscar. It was an Oscarbot.\\
'''Orchid:''' If I had a nickel every time someone said that, I would have ''[[SubvertedTrope noooooo]]'' [[SubvertedTrope nickels.]]\\
'''Oscar:''' You would have one, heh...'cause now.

* From [[http://hereandnow.wbur.org/2014/07/31/california-one-state an interview]] on [[Creator/{{NPR}} WBUR's]] ''Here and Now'' regarding a ballot initiative to split California up into six states:

* ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater''

-->'''Meji:''' ([[http://www.errantstory.com/2013-05-16/6543 responding to her familiar's doubts about her plan to seduce Ian]]) AHHH! Don't have time to kill you now, I gotta go take off all my clothes!\\

--> '''Drakken:''' Save my booty!\\

* On Creator/MoBrosStudios's tutorial on ''WebAnimation/YouTubePoop'', he says that if he had a nickel for every time there was a [[DiscreditedMeme WTF Boom]] joke in a [=YouTube=] Poop, there would be a [[UpToEleven calculator overload]].

* ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'':

* ''Film/{{IQ}}'': "If you had a nickel for every nickel he has, you'd have a whole lot of nickels!"

-->'''Jeppe:''' If I had a five kroner-coin[[note]]five Danish kroner corresponds to about one American dollar[[/note]] for each time Trucker is skipping school, I would... well... I... uh... then I... then I would have a lot of five kroner-coins!