History Main / IdealizedSex

* ''Series/{{ER}}'''s Doug and Carol's first time in a year and a half is realistically awkward--she's uneasy about the changes in her body following her pregnancy and he's fearful of hurting her, resulting in him taking things incredibly slowly to try and ease both of their anxieties.

* In the ''Film/TheHobbit'' borderline CrackFic [[http://archiveofourown.org/works/3808996/chapters/8487733 Ettëlea]], a very drunk Thranduil and equally drunk OC ''attempt'' sex, but they're both so hammered that it initially consists of snark, inept clothing damage, and one near-concussion. Eventually, they manage it, more or less, but when she (who has not had sex in years) wakes the next morning, there's soreness, mess, and a brutal hangover. (Subsequent sex scenes are usually PlayedForLaughs.)

* In ''Manga/KaguyaSamaLoveIsWar'', Kashiwagi implies that her boyfriend ended up scratching her during TheirFirstTime while they were engaging in foreplay.

* There have also been a growing number of mainstream films in which the realism of the sex scenes is unquestioned since the actors are actually having sex (''Shortbus'', ''All About Anna'', ''Film/BaiseMoi'', ''9 Songs'', etc.). However, it can be debated whether this trope applies since as of 2010, no major mainstream production has featured such explicit material, with the possible exceptions of the "reality TV movie" ''The Real Cancun'' and the heavily censored swingers scene in ''Film/{{Bruno}}.''

* The first ''[[VideoGame/LeisureSuitLarry1InTheLandOfTheLoungeLizards Leisure Suit Larry]]'' game can have Larry lose his virginity to a prostitute. To say the least, it is nasty, brutish, and short, and doesn't count toward the game goal; it continues with Larry seeking more. (Peter Spear's novelization had Larry note that instead of full-out fireworks, all he felt was "a single firecracker that just laid there and banged".) In short, it was not worth the pimp's asking price. At all.

In the same way that CPR is presented as [[CPRCleanPrettyReliable clean, pretty, and reliable]], sex in fiction has a tendency to gloss over the more awkward aspects. Sure, maybe it's explored if it's TheirFirstTime to highlight the characters' inexperience, but most of the time sex is very different to how it is in real life. Issues like impotence, pregnancy, [=STDs=] ([[STDImmunity or not]]) can come up, but generally only when it's a plot point, deployed for drama. Realism is simply a lower priority than RuleOfSexy, RuleOfFunny, {{Fetish}}, avoiding FetishRetardant, avoiding FanDisservice, and so on.

* ''{{Manga/Berserk}}'': As far as GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex goes in this series, Guts and Casca's first time isn't exactly picture perfect, with Casca bleeding from penetration and being in mild discomfort during Guts' rough, frantic, and all-in-all inexperienced love-making. Not to mention that Guts suffers a flashback to his rape as a child partway through, which causes him to almost choke Casca before he comes to his senses.

* ''Film/EnemyAtTheGates'' had a realistically awkward sex scene between the main protagonist and the love interest. It's awkward because they do it in the subways below Stalingrad, surrounded by sleeping people because it's being used as a bomb shelter, and so they have to try to not wake anybody up and don't have much room for themselves. So they just kinda roll over each other, try to take off each other's clothing and try to get his penis into her without waking up a guy sleeping a foot away.

In the same way that CPR is presented as [[CleanPrettyReliable clean, pretty, and reliable]], sex in fiction has a tendency to gloss over the more awkward aspects. Sure, maybe it's explored if it's TheirFirstTime to highlight the characters' inexperience, but most of the time sex is very different to how it is in real life. Issues like impotence, pregnancy, [=STDs=] ([[STDImmunity or not]]) can come up, but generally only when it's a plot point, deployed for drama. Realism is simply a lower priority than RuleOfSexy, RuleOfFunny, {{Fetish}}, avoiding FetishRetardant, avoiding FanDisservice, and so on.

* The trope is referenced in ''Discworld/NightWatch'' with a porno novel entitled 'The Amorous Adventures of Molly Clapper', which had been passed around the Watch House for years. A fifty-plus-year-old Sam Vimes reminisced that he learned a lot from reading that book when he joined the Watch in his early twenties... and when he got married in his late forties, he discovered that most of what he had learned was wrong.

Also, note that this trope [[TropesAreNotBad is not necessarily bad]]. Sometimes the audience might genuinely enjoy idealized, torrid, steamy sex. Hell, there's a multi-billion-dollar industry built around it: pornography.

** Played straight, then subverted when Buffy wakes up and sees just how grungy Parker's apartment is [[Recap/BuffyTheVampireSlayerS4E3TheHarshLightOfDay the harsh light of day]]. This foreshadows the revelation that he's TheCasanova instead of a new LoveInterest.

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* The "gymnastic sex scene" in ''Film/TheBronze''. Even if you ''and'' your partner are Olympic-level gymnasts (as the two participants in the film are) you could get exhausted just by ''watching'' the scene, which combines a two-person gymnastic routine with lovemaking, set to music. Or rather, a well-choreographed routine with the ''illusion'' of sex added to it. (Not something you'd truly want to try, even if you ''are'' trained.)

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* Also played for laughs in ''Film/{{Crank}}'', where the protagonist has been poisoned, and he needs to constantly maintain an adrenaline rush to slow it's effects and stay alive. Usually done by fighting bad guys, but it leads to quite a few DeusSexMachina scenes, the one that ''really'' takes the cake being where he's stuck in Chinatown with no such action to be found. He somehow convinces his girlfriend to do the deed right there. As in, in public, on a crowded street. (Possibly, the ''most'' unrealistic part is how willing she seems to do it.)

* In ''Film/TheIsland'', [[Creator/EwanMcGregor Lincoln]] and [[Creator/ScarlettJohansson Jordan]] are clones who have been raised separate from normal people, and have no concept of love or sex. Doesn't stop them from having passionate sex near the end of the movie without any problems. Though a major plot point is that Lincoln has been receiving memories from his original donor, so it ''might'' be handwaved in his case at least.
* During the WallBangHer sex-scene in ''Film/RoadHouse'', the relative positions of both Creator/PatrickSwayze's and Kelly Lynch's bodies either means either Swayze's wing-wang is two-and-a-half feet long, or else they were dry humping. Still a hot scene, mind, but physically impossible.

* Any of Samantha's sex scenes in ''Series/SexAndTheCity'' count, though injuries are frequently shown in this instance. There's still a ludicrous amount of screaming, thrashing and athleticism.

* In ''Manga/FushigiYuugi'', Tamahome and Miaka decide to consummate their relationship knowing that this could very well be their last day together. [[BigEater Miaka's]] stomach grumbles, and they are both embarrassed by this awkward noise. (So much so that Tamahome can't continue!)

* ''Manga/BGataHKei'' portrays not only the (almost) sex itself as awkward and difficult, but the relationship leading up to it, too.
* ''itai ITAI itai'' by Mentaiko is a BL manga where one of the characters is a masochist. His friend, who's in love with him, gets mad at his friends confession about liking TheBully and practically rapes him. The rough sex turns on the protagonist, but after the sex his friend is surprised to see he's covered in blood; mostly coming from his injured anus. This harms their friendship and the story is going to a DownerEnding. (By the way, ''itai'' means OUCH.)

* In Creator/AkikoMorishima's Angelic Girl, when Negama and Tsukimiya, both inexperienced, have sex for the first time, we see them talking afternath, and while they both enjoyed it, Tsukimiya mention that she was not able to come. Later in a Omake, Negama and Nana discuss the YuriGenre trope of two girls climaxing at the same time, the more experienced and more pragmatic Kei point out how rarely it really happen, and how if it do it's likely that one partner was faking it.

* Leave it to [[http://www.fimfiction.net/user/kalash93 Kalash93]] to not play artistic license. All the sex he shows, or at least describes, is fairly realistic.
** In [[http://www.fimfiction.net/story/93809/a-pleasant-surprise A Pleasant Surprise,]] the male protagonist is a total virgin. Therefore, Fluttershy has to educate him how to make love properly, and even then he isn't exactly a pro at it. Still sweet, though.

* In ''Manga/{{Evangelion 303}}'', when Shinji and Asuka had sex for first time, it was painfully obvious that they were twenty-year-old virgins and they had no idea what they were doing. Shinji unintentionally hurt her when he entered her, and the whole experience was pretty awkward for both. Fortunately they got better at it after a lot of practice.

* In ''Fanfic/TheSecondTry'', Shinji and Asuka’s first time was awkward. Shinji hurt her when he entered her, and he tried to hold back his orgasm as long as possible because he didn’t want to deprive her of her own climax. Back in the past she said that he owed her a better first time.

* In the ''Film/TheHobbit'' borderline CrackFic [[http://archiveofourown.org/works/3808996/chapters/8487733 Ettëlea]], a very drunk Thranduil and equally drunk OC ''attempt'' sex, but they're both so hammered that it initially consists of snark, inept clothing damage, and one near-concussion. Eventually they manage it, more or less, but when she (who has not had sex in years) wakes the next morning, there's soreness, mess, and a brutal hangover. (Subsequent sex scenes are usually PlayedForLaughs.)

* Although there's no actual on screen sex, the act is portrayed realistically as awkward and confusing in ''Film/TheFortyYearOldVirgin'' for a 40-year-old who's never done it. ConservationOfDetail is averted when he tries numerous times to put on a condom. [[spoiler: When he finally has sex, it goes pretty much as you'd expect]].
* Comical subversion in ''Film/AFishCalledWanda''-- Otto makes some utterly ''hilarious'' O faces.
** And there's absolutely no evidence that Wanda came at all. She just sort of lies there as Otto [[AsLongAsItSoundsForeign jabbers meaningless Italian phrases at her.]]

* ''Film/EnemyAtTheGates'' had a realistically awkward sex scene between the main protagonist and the love interest. It's awkward because they do it in the subways below Stalingrad, surrounded by sleeping people because it's being used as a bomb shelter, and so they have to try to not wake anybody up and don't have much room for themselves. So they just kinda roll over each other, try to take off each others' clothing and try to get his penis into her without waking up a guy sleeping a foot away.

* There have also been a growing number of mainstream films in which the realism of the sex scenes is unquestioned since the actors are actually having sex (''Shortbus'', ''All About Anna'', ''Film/BaiseMoi'', ''9 Songs'', etc.). However it can be debated whether this trope applies since as of 2010 no major mainstream production has featured such explicit material, with the possible exceptions of the "reality TV movie" ''The Real Cancun'' and the heavily censored swingers scene in ''Film/{{Bruno}}.''

* Explored in detail in ''Film/DonJon''. The main character is addicted to porn to the degree that actual sex is not as interesting or exciting to him, as porn offers experiences [[GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex that most attractive women would not be interesting in doing]] and he gets caught up in the awkward moments of real sex that takes him out of the moment. The film contrasts (brief) images of porn that idealizes a sexual experience with grandiose passion next to an encounter he had that is almost clinical in how they were both just trying to get it over with.

* Played with in the ''Slave World'' novels: Many masochism stereotypes are lampshaded and justified with AppliedPhlebotinum. In the first few books, this include the stereotype that all real submissives enjoy everything in the kinky spectrum. This is backpedaled in the later books, where it's established that most people have some things they just can't handle, much less enjoy, no matter how many [[GettingSmiliesPaintedOnYourSoul smilies you paint on their soul]].

* ''Literature/AFoxTail'' makes sure to have lubrication for anal sex most of the time, on a couple occasions they go without it causing intense pain.
* 'Bad sex' is actually not an uncommon fanfiction trope, sometimes for humour reasons, sometimes for dramatic or characterisation reasons, or sometimes, less paradoxically than you might think, because more realistic sex is just more interesting or hot to read about.
* Dealt with in ''Literature/TheSharingKnife''. Fawn's first time with a farmhand in a field while being bitten by gnats was not at all what she expected, and ended with her an unwed mother. On the other hand, her first time (and every other time) with ''Dag'' is one of the most joyful experiences of her life, but that's due to his intentional effort, the fact that he knows what he's doing and there's plenty of communication between them.

* As well as showing quite a considerable amount of Idealized Sex between the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood, Lizzie Siddal and various prostitutes, ''Series/DesperateRomantics'' does at least depict Lizzie encouraging Gabriel to abandon the prophylactics they have apparently been using prior to their marriage. There is also some awkwardness shown between Millais and Effie the first time they're in bed together, though they get over it later in the series.

* The first sex scene between Rachel and John in ''Series/{{Alphas}}'' is another rare example of a couple who the audience are supposed to ship not having very good sex the first time, due to a combination of her superpowers leading to SensoryOverload and his body shame about his burn scars. The second time goes much better.

* Sex in ''VideoGame/ADanceWithRogues'' is very... realistically... described. The game even tracks an integer for how experienced your character is, and varies the descriptions depending on that (though it is more often used to determine if you can use the 'if I have really good sex with this guy he will give me what I want' tactic). Most possible sexual partners are quite experienced, so acting like it makes sense for them, but Anden is understandably awkward.

* Basically, all commercial pornography. This makes sense if you think about it: in real sex, the purpose is the participants' pleasure; in porn, it's for the viewer's pleasure. Unfortunately, it's also many people's first exposure to "real life" sex, which can lead to those people thinking RealityIsUnrealistic.
** Especially bad in homemade and amateur porn. Leave it to the pros, folks!
*** Conversely, amateur/homemade porn also often totally disregards the presence of the camera(s) or eventual viewers, averting this trope entirely.
** Averted in a release featuring mega-stars Lisa Ann and Zoe Voss that endeavored to show somewhat more natural sex. Still pretty hot.

* ''FanFic/WolfSpider'': Subverted, when [[spoiler: Taylor and Rachel]] have sex for the first time it is described as having been awkward and strange. This is to be expected since [[spoiler: Taylor]] was a virgin and [[spoiler: Rachel]] only had sex once before.