History Main / GenderNormativeParentPlot

[[folder: Fan Works]]

* Subverted in ''Manga/DanceDanceDanseur''. Junpei's father is reluctant to let Junpei study ballet, seeing it as "unmanly", but it isn't long before he relents and allows him to do so. [[spoiler:Unfortunately, he dies of a heart attack shortly after, forcing Junpei to give up ballet for the time being in order to help support his family at his father's job and ends up pursuing the manly Jeet Kune Do. It isn't until a few years later that Junpei is able to pursue ballet in earnest.]]

* Subverted in ''Manga/DanceDanceDanseur''. Junpei's father is reluctant to let Junpei study ballet, seeing it as "unmanly", but it isn't long before he relents and allows him to do so. [[spoiler:Unfortunately, he dies of a heart attack shortly after, forcing Junpei to give up ballet for the time being in order to help support his family at his father's job and ends up pursuing the manly Jeet Kune Do. It isn't until a few years later that Junpei is able to pursue ballet in earnest.]]

* ''TheHouseOfEliott'':

* The aftermath is shown on ''Series/TheHouseOfElliott'', the 1990s BBC costume drama about fashion in the 1920s. Daniel Page is engaged to marry Evie Elliott, and she insists on meeting his parents, a family of ordinary farm labourers. His father is bitter about him leaving them to go to art school, but [[spoiler:he comes round eventually on meeting with Evie, and attends their wedding]].

* The entire point of the manga series ''Manga/{{Otomen}}''. The main character likes ALL girly things. Played with in that it's the mother that's pushing her son to be manly, out of fear that he might become a transsexual like his father.

* ''WesternAnimation/HowToTrainYourDragon'' takes this in a fairly interesting direction with the relationship between Hiccup and his father Stoick. Hiccup starts out as a bookish NonActionGuy who struggles in vain to live up to the expectations of [[TestosteronePoisoning uber-manly]] Viking culture, while his father looks on and wonders [[JockDadNerdSon just how on earth that talking fishbone came from his genes]]. Hiccup discovers that, while he does not have what it takes to kill dragons like the perfect, tough Viking son, he is a pretty fair hand at a somewhat less "masculine" activity - befriending and training said dragons. This results in a bit of friction with his father, who considers dragon-slaying as both the courageous thing to do and the only proven, effective way of defending his clan's village. In the end, Hiccup [[TakeAThirdOption gives up on neither ideal]], utilizing dragon training as a means of defending the village, essentially becoming the most badass leader the clan has ever had while still remaining true to himself... his father is just as bewildered as he is proud.

* It could be argued that this is a major plot in the ''Manga/RanmaOneHalf'' manga and anime - Ranma being compelled by his parents to be a "Man Among Men", while his Magical Curse compels him to be female part of the time. By the end of the manga, he seems to have pretty much accepted that he changes from one to the other and has even learned to enjoy the perks he can get in his female form, like cooking, wearing nice clothes, even tricking other guys into doing his bidding. That said, he still considers himself to really be a man, and will still leap at the possibility of a cure, even running away from Akane in the final wedding to try and grab a cask of Nanniichuan.

* Inverted, as in the Monty Python example below, in ''Anime/MacrossFrontier'', but played for drama (mostly): Alto wants to be a fighter pilot; his father wants him to be a female-impersonating Kabuki actor.
* In ''Anime/DigimonAdventure'', part of Sora's backstory (and quite a bit of her {{Angst}}) is due to this. Sora is a {{Tomboy}} and wants to go out and play soccer and her mother wants her to be a "proper" young lady, stay in and learn flower arranging. As such, Sora came to believe her mother was disappointed in her and didn't like her (hence the angst).
* This forms a recurring subplot in ''Manga/{{Kekkaishi}}'' where Yoshimori wants to get good at baking cakes, even enlisting the help of the ghost of a recently-deceased pastry chef to help him; his grandfather, naturally, disapproves. The coming-out story elements don't really factor in, though; Yoshimori is doing it mostly to impress Tokine.
* {{Manga/Bartender}}: It's only hinted at, but Ryu's backstory has a strong flavor of this. Piecing together what we've learned so far, Ryu's father was a high-ranking politician referred to as "the monster of Nagata-Cho", and Ryu grew up in a privileged home, but threw away his father's support in order to become a bartender.

* ''ComicBook/ImmortalHulk:'' One issue focuses on a Roxxon security guard who's appalled by his daughter not confirming to his idea of gender roles, having dyed hair and piercings and being an activist. One day at work, he's confronted by a bunch of protesters, one whom has dyed hair and piercings. He draws a gun on her, rationalizing that it's not his fault, and that it's not ''really'' his daughter anymore, "the Devil got into her". Just he fires, the Hulk lands in front of him.

* The premise of ''WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse'' fanfic ''Fanfic/LincolnGetsLimber'' is that when Lincoln's parents request Lincoln to find a sport he can do in order to get regular exercise, he tries out gymnastics at the local sports center because Girl Jordan suggested it and he ends up really liking it. However, he claims that he's actually doing dodgeball instead because he's afraid his friends and family will mock him for doing a traditionally girly sport. Fortunately, his parents, his closest friends, and the sisters that know about it so far ([[spoiler: Lynn, Leni, and Lucy]]) are supportive of it because they can tell Lincoln really loves doing the sport. This is lampshaded by Chris, the gymnastics coach, who isn’t surprised that Lincoln lied about what sport he was really doing because Lincoln’s not the first male gymnast he’s known to have done so out of fear of mockery.

* In ''WesternAnimation/TheBookOfLife'', Manolo Sanchez wants to become a musician, while his father Carlos wants him to become a bullfighter. Even though Manolo does have the skills of a bullfighter, he refuses to kill a bull, even in the Land Of The Unremembered, where he had to fight a hundred bulls that all morphed into one gigantic bull. Eventually, Carlos sees for himself that his son does much better as a singer when the song of apology that Manolo sings for the bulls that were slaughtered by the Sanchez family is so moving that it just turns the gigantic bull into a pile of flower petals.

* The former TropeNamer was ''Film/BillyElliot'', where this makes up a good deal of the first half of the movie. The "girly" hobby is ballet, the "manly" one is boxing. [[spoiler: After Billy's dad gets over this, he sells the last of Billy's deceased mother's things and almost becomes a scab during the miners' strike to support Billy's professional dancing dream.]] It's an atypical example in that Billy's family doesn't come around because they want him to "be himself" -- they realize that he's good enough at dancing that he might be able to escape the poverty that has the rest of them trapped. They even have this exchange, albeit in jest:

** ''Film/IcePrincess'' is this but with a GenderFlip and the "girly" hobby is still "girly" (figure skating) but the "manly" one is replaced with a "brainy" one (math). However, it's her knowledge of physics and math that helps her be a great figure skater.

* Two gender-flipped examples in ''Film/BendItLikeBeckham'':
** Main protagonist Jess is a second-generation Indian living in the UK. Her parents disapprove of her playing football, although not because of the boyishness; they want her to go to university and think football is distracting her. They come around when Jess is offered a scholarship to play in America.
** Jules meanwhile is an outright {{Tomboy}} with a mother who keeps trying to pressure her into being more feminine - fearing she'll never get a good boyfriend or husband because of her tomboyishness. Thanks to some bad eavesdropping, she [[MistakenForGay thinks Jules is actually a lesbian]] and that she and Jess are a couple. She also ends up coming around actually sooner than Jess's family - getting her husband to teach her about football and attending a match (in a ridiculously feminine outfit too).

* A tragic version of this plot is one of the driving forces behind ''Film/DeadPoetsSociety''. More exactly, the subplot with Neil Perry and his dad: Neil wants to become an actor whereas his father is adamant that he pursue a career in medicine. [[spoiler: Neil ends up DrivenToSuicide]]
* ''Film/SearchingForBobbyFischer'' plays with this trope, but never goes full hog with it, as Josh Waitzkin's dad, Fred, realizes after playing '''one game''' of TabletopGame/{{chess}} with his son that it would be better to let his son play a brainy boardgame than try to force baseball onto him. And when one of his teachers tries to discourage Josh from playing chess, Fred tears her a new one.
--> '''Fred Waitzkin:''' "I want you to understand something. He's better at this than I've ever been at anything in my life. He's better at this than you'll ever be at anything. My son has a gift. He has a gift, and when you acknowledge that, then maybe we will have something to talk about."
** Ironically, the real Josh Waitzkin eventually gave up chess for martial arts.
* Subverted in ''Film/KinkyBoots'' with the DragQueen and his father, a boxing lover who rejected his son even on his deathbed. However, the queen turns out to be very good at boxing in addition to performing.
* Played straight in ''Film/ConnieAndCarla'' with a DragQueen, except it's his brother trying to come to grips with it.
* In a way, the relationship between George Banks and his children Jane and Michael play out this way in ''Film/MaryPoppins''. George wants them to eliminate their childish notions, and grow up as proper English bankers like their dad. He is incensed at the example Mary sets for them and finds the children's adventures and playfulness frivolous and chaotic. He does eventually come around in the end.
* ''Film/BringItOn'' has a similar case to the ''Ice Princess'' example. Torrence's mother hates that her daughter is a cheerleader and instead wants her to be an honours student. When Torrence announces that she's been made captain, all Mom does is complain that she's not taking an extra lab.
* ''Film/HunkyDory'': Davy is discouraged from acting and singing, even though he has won the lead role; he even quits at one point.
* The intellectual version forms the main conflict of ''Film/OctoberSky''. The protagonist, Homer, wants to be a rocket scientist and has the aptitude. However, he lives in 1950s coal country, and his miner father is not impressed with his lofty goals; he basically thinks Homer should get his head out of the clouds and work in the mines after high school. [[spoiler: He eventually changes his mind, even crossing a picket line to provide Homer with a necessary piece of equipment for his science fair project when the original model is stolen, and thanks to this Homer and his fellow "rocket boys" all get science scholarships.]]
* ''Film/FloatLikeAButterfly'' is a GenderFlip version. Frances, a Traveller girl in 1970s Ireland, desires to become a boxer against her father's wishes. Interestingly, Frances has a mild-mannered younger brother who would be a straight version of this trope were he the protagonist.
* In ''Film/INowPronounceYouChuckAndLarry'', a secondary plot point involves Larry, a firefighter, wanting Eric, his AmbiguouslyGay ten-year-old son, to grow up as a real man. Whenever Eric tries to show off his tap dancing abilities or wants to talk about Broadway musicals, Larry yells at him to knock it off and focus on sports instead. However, by the end of the movie, Larry makes the decision to love Eric for who he is, and stop trying to force him to be what he thinks a boy should grow up to be.

* There are about a zillion children's stories with this theme. One of the best known is Charlotte Zolotow's fairly {{Anvilicious}} 1972 story ''William's Doll'', which was adapted into a song number in the TV special ''Free to Be...You and Me'' in 1974 and a short film in 1981. Podcast/{{Rifftrax}} got hold of the short, and Mike, Bill, and Kevin act as if they're as disgusted by the idea of a boy with a doll as some of the characters are.

* ''Literature/OliverButtonIsASissy'': [[PlayingWithATrope Played with]]. Oliver's dad tries to persuade Oliver to play sports with the other neighborhood boys, even though he's not good at them. Nevertheless, he supports his son's decision to enroll in a dancing school and congratulates him on his performance at the talent show. Taking both actions into account, it seems that Mr. Button's more worried about Oliver spending too much time doing activities by himself, rather than ashamed of his interests in and of themselves.

* The whole Maxxie / Bill Bailey subplot on ''Series/{{Skins}}'' features Maxxie, a StraightGay ClubKid who wants to become a dancer being pushed by his dad into becoming a builder. Somewhat ironically though, Bailey's character is already a dancer (albeit the manlier "line dancing with dogs" rather than the tap / modern dance fusion Maxxie's into).
* ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus''':
** Inverted by the "Northern Playwright" sketch, in which the prodigal son the Yorkshire coal miner comes back to his old homestead in London to visit his father the theater playwright -- the whole scene is written like the aftermath of this sort of setup gone wrong, only with the actual jobs reversed.
--->'''[[Creator/GrahamChapman Father]]:''' [[UsefulNotes/OneLondonThirtyThreeBoroughs 'Ampstead's]] not good enough for you, eh? You had to go poncin' off to [[OopNorth Barnsely]]!
--->'''[[Creator/EricIdle Ken]]:''' One day you'll realize there's more to life than culture. There's dirt, and smoke, and good honest sweat!\\
'''Father:''' GetOut Get out, you ''LABOURER!''
** Even better is that the father is dressed like a working-class man, living in a working-class house, speaking with a [[OopNorth Yorkshire accent]], and the son speaks a middle-class accent and is wearing a suit and tie...because that's the only thing he has to wear apart from his overalls.

* On ''Series/{{Glee}},'' Finn is the football quarterback but is also interested in glee club. He is notably fatherless rather than motherless. The main people opposing him joining the glee club are his jock friends, especially his best friend Puck, who ends up joining the club himself in episode 4. It's averted with the CampGay character Kurt who, despite having a blue-collar father and dead mother, actually enjoys playing football and his father is supportive of him being gay and in glee club.

* A variation occurs on ''Series/TheBradyBunch''. While Mike doesn't have a problem with Peter enjoying the glee club, his football teammates sure do and their jeers nearly cause Peter to quit the club. It takes a well-timed visit from guest star Deacon Jones to not only give Peter a lesson in Being Himself but to nip the other boys' old-fashioned perception of "manly" in the bud by telling them about how [[RealMenWearPink he and several other tough football superstars love to sing in their spare time]].
* Subverted on Series/{{Spaced}}. Brian actually pretends to be a lawyer to his parents so they won't know he's an artist. They then express disappointment that he didn't become an artist.

* An episode of ''{{Series/House}}'' has (not a spoiler, since the viewer finds out in the cold open before the opening credits) a person born with ambiguous sex characteristics who had surgery to appear male and has been raised, as a boy. The "boy" was interested in ballet; his dad was okay with this, but his mother pitched a fit when she found out and make him go out for basketball instead, which he doesn't feel he's good at and isn't particularly excited about anyway. This is ''not quite'' this trope exactly, since the boy himself doesn't know that the "vitamin" shots his mom's been giving him are actually testosterone to make up for his lack of natural hormones, and he has a bit of a meltdown when he finds out the truth. This is a confusing one as the 'boy' also has female sex characteristics. He also claimed he was interested in a member of his baseball team, which is also ambiguous.
* Inverted in an episode of Australian news satire show ''The Roast'' satirising speculation about cuts to the civil service. A boy explains he dreams of being a bureaucrat to his gruff, Northern father, who shuts him down, insisting he'll be a ballet dancer - as being a civil servant "just isn't a secure job."
** This [[HilariousInHindsight got weird]] when the budget was actually released, as, alongside cuts to the public service, [[LifeImitatesArt it also allocated $1 million to a ballet school.]]
* A fairly early television example comes from the 1979 Series/AfterschoolSpecial "A Special Gift"; featuring a small-town boy named Peter who is playing on his school's basketball team and also takes ballet lessons, with his father and classmates not particularly happy with his taking ballet lessons. The father later reveals that as a kid, he [[spoiler:sang boy soprano in his church choir]].
* ''Series/GreysAnatomy'' subverted this with one patient of the week, a young man with a talent and passion for ballet. The boy's father was a burly football-loving dude... who bragged about his son "kicking the other kids' ASSES" at ballet as enthusiastically as if his son were excelling at any other traditionally masculine sport.

* Elliot in ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfHeroesTrailsOfColdSteel'' follows this trope. Although his hobby, performing as a musician in an orchestra, isn't exactly girly by the standards of this trope, his father is a FourStarBadass who leads an entire tank company and is famed as one of the best military generals in the country. He forcibly enrolled his son in a military academy rather than let him attend the music school he wanted to, hoping to toughen him up. While Elliot is grateful for the friends he ends up making at the academy, he does wish that his dad would be less harsh on him. [[spoiler: By the sequel, his father finally accepts his son's hobby and goals and apologizes for trying to force him to be something he's not.]]

--->'''Sniper:''' ''[on phone]'' I'm not a crazed gunman, Dad. I'm an ''[[InsistentTerminology assassin]]''.\\
''[{{Beat}}]''\\
'''Sniper:''' ...The difference being one is a ''job'', and the other's ''mental sickness!''[[/folder]]

* {{Inverted}} and {{Parodied}} on the ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' episode "[[Recap/SouthParkS12E13ElementarySchoolMusical Elementary School Musical]]" -- the ''Film/HighSchoolMusical'' spoof involves a boy named Bridon who wants to try out for basketball, but has an [[AbusiveParents abusive]], CampStraight father who forces him to sing and dance instead.
* Spoofed (sans the father element) in ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' episode "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS6E17HomerVsPattyAndSelma Homer vs. Patty and Selma]]". Bart is forced to join the ballet class after all the other PE activities had been taken, and to his surprise turns out to really enjoy it. On his first recital (in front of the entire school) he performs in a [[PaperThinDisguise Paper Thin]] mask to conceal his identity. When the other boys are moved by the performance, Bart reveals himself. [[SubvertedTrope The others then rush the stage to beat him up]]. Krusty's father [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS3E6LikeFatherLikeClown Hyman]] also fits this trope because he wanted Krusty to be a rabbi instead of a clown. When he found out Krusty was a clown during a club in his youth, he disowned him and didn't talk to him for 25 years.

''[{{Beat}}]''\\

'''Hank:''' ''[offended]'' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I don't]] ''[[ComicallyMissingThePoint hate]]'' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint you, Bobby!]]\\

* In an episode of ''WesternAnimation/{{Arthur}}'', Arthur learns to knit during a storm and finds he actually enjoys it, but doesn't want anyone, save for Buster, to know that he knits because "it's for girls". In the end, when he's found out, no one but Binky teases him about it, and even then Arthur's piano teacher offers a rebuttal by commenting on how beautiful Binky's performance was... in ''Swan Lake''.
* In ''WesternAnimation/AngelaAnaconda'', an episode features Gordy Rinehart making strawberry soufflés, even though his football-coach dad wants him to be a football player. [[spoiler:Eventually, Mr. Rinehart decides it's better for Gordy to just be himself... and that he really likes the strawberry soufflés.]]
* One episode of ''WesternAnimation/FatAlbertAndTheCosbyKids'' revealed that Rudy took home economics instead of gym because he loved to cook.
* Done in an episode of ''WesternAnimation/BabyBlues'' with cooking as the subject.

* Parodied in an episode of ''WesternAnimation/TheGrimAdventuresOfBillyAndMandy'' titled "[[WholePlotReference Billy Idiot]]," where Billy's said to be a dance prodigy ([[InformedAbility although we never actually see him dance]]) and has been accepted into a prestigious performing arts boarding school as a dance a major--Billy's dad, Harold, initially refuses to let Billy pursue dancing. It's later revealed that Harold was a dancer himself in his youth, but was discouraged from pursuing it by his own macho father. Of course, it's eventually revealed that the school is run by a powerful witch who feeds on the souls of great dancers.
* In ''WesternAnimation/ILoveToSinga'', Professor Fritz Owl is a classical musician and wants his children to follow suit. Most of them do, but one of his sons Owl Jolson wants to be a jazz singer instead. This upsets Fritz so much that he throws Owl Jolson out of the house, though he quickly regrets it. Fritz ultimately encourages his son that if he loves to singa, then he should singa.

In both portrayals, the character is often torn between their love for their parent(s) and their love for their hobby. In the end, their parents find out about it and they’ll either be against it at first but eventually come around to it, or [[MilhollandRelationshipMoment it's revealed that the parent never had a problem with it in the first place]]. Either way, the child will usually either give up the hobby for a more conventional one, or they’ll find a way to continue pursuing both at the same time. The teenage years are usually the focus since that's generally when people start to find their way as individuals. If the character is a boy, it's also common for these characters to be [[MissingMom motherless]]. In many cases, the character's opposite-sex parent isn't in the picture. But if they are, they might be supportive of the hobby compared to the other.