History Main / DisorganizedOutlineSpeech

In the first place?\\
<{{beat}}>\\

* Solomon's list of seven things God hates in ''Literature/TheBible'' (Proverbs 6:16-19) begins:
-->"There are six things that Jehovah does hate; yes, seven are things detestable to his soul."

* ''Film/HomeAlone'':

* At a 1965 live performance of Music/PeterPaulAndMary their rendition of "Puff the Magic Dragon" was prefaced by Paul giving a pompous pretend speech about dragons. After stumbling and starting over several times, he ended up referring to dragons as having "four separate and distinct nostrils and one monstrous scale...with thousands of tiny legs?"

Welcome to Wiki/TVTropes. The two things to remember are: Administrivia/ThereIsNoSuchThingAsNotability, "X. Just X." won't cut it, beware duplicate tropes... OhCrap. START over! Welcome to Wiki/TVTropes. The three things to remember are: Administrivia/ThereIsNoSuchThingAsNotability, "X. Just X." won't cut it, beware duplicate tropes, be careful if a topic might be FlameBait... [[RuleOfThree START OVER]]! Welcome to Wiki/TVTropes. The four, no, AMONGST the things to remember are: There Is No Such Flame As Thingability, Trope Just X won't cut... [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus I'll come in again.]]

** Edward Dziewoński did a Polish version of this monologue, titled "Dwanaście butelek" ("Twelve bottles"), complete with the counting at the end. We do not know who was first or whether both comedians simply had similar life experiences. But Dziewoński's version colcludes with "I have the wifest bestie in the world!"

* At a 1965 live performance of Peter, Paul and Mary their rendition of "Puff the Magic Dragon" was prefaced by Paul giving a pompous pretend speech about dragons. After stumbling and starting over several times, he ended up referring to dragons as having "four separate and distinct nostrils and one monstrous scale...with thousands of tiny legs?"

* Lilly on ''Series/HannahMontana'':

** During a playing of the Millionaire Show game, Greg Proops accidentally messes up when giving out the multiple choice answers:

* ''Theatre/IntoTheWoods'': In the "Your Fault" number, the character's arguments get increasingly confused as the song goes on:

'''Sokka:''' Not really, since you've followed us all over the world!

** [[Recap/DoctorWhoS29E8HumanNature "Human Nature"]]:

*** Even better is the extended version (including a bit in the middle for the regular episode to fast-forward through) when David Tennant just babbles on, managing to stay completely in character... even though he starts talking about [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rW1x2TmIq8s&NR=1 pears]].

* [[TropeOverdosed Epic]] ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'' example:
-->'''Sokka:''' Uhm...So, as you know today we're invading the Fire Nation. I mean, I know you know that. Because otherwise why else would you be here? Anyway... The Fire Lord's palace is here. Uh no, wait, wait, wait. It's here. And uh there's an eclipse today and Aang's going to fight the Fire Lord and the firebenders won't have any fire to use so that's good for us and uhm... I'm sorry, let me start at the beginning. (composes himself.) <MotorMouth>Katara and I discovered Aang frozen in an iceberg. Now I didn't like Aang at first but I grew to love him over time. Then we went over to the Southern Air Temple where Aang used to live and then we met Suki, who is a Kyoshi warrior. She dressed me like a woman and then she kissed me and then Aang's friend was a crazy old man and then Katara got Haru arrested and then now he's grown a mustache and if you look in the front row you can see it...
** Note that Sokka is meant to be outlining a specific battle plan, but resorts to 'explaining from the beginning', literally, when he gets confused. His dad then 'clarifies' the plan.
** And by "explaining from the beginning", we mean he gave a (pretty succinct) recap of the first six episodes, with all signs pointing to him reciting all 49 if he hadn't been interrupted.
** Two episodes later, Zuko tries to outline his reasons for approaching the Gaang. Emphasis on ''tries''. His nervousness means his pre-rehearsed speech goes belly up.

* The ''Series/StargateAtlantis'' episode "Letters from Pegasus" has various characters' funny, tear-jerking and heartwarming letters intercut with Rodney [=McKay=] sleep-deprived and babbling about who knows what. Every few sentences he'll stop and tell Ford (who was editing the videos they were sending home) to cut whatever he'd just said and start over. [[spoiler: In the very end, he remembers his sister and gets his act together long enough to send a really touching message to her.]]
** Also a SugarWiki/{{Funny Moment|s}}, as he keeps percolating back to "Where was I? Oh yes...leadership."

->'''Don Pedro:''' Officers, what offence have these men done?
->'''Dogberry:''' Marry, sir, they have committed false report; moreover, they have spoken untruths; secondarily, they are slanders; sixth and lastly, they have belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust things; and, to conclude, they are lying knaves.

!!Examples

[[folder:Comics]]

[[folder:Film]]
* ''Film/HomeAlone'':
-->'''Megan [=McCallister=]:''' You're not at all worried that something might happen to Kevin?
-->'''Buzz [=McCallister=]:''' No, for three reasons: A, I'm not that lucky. Two, we use smoke detectors and D, we live on the most boring street in the whole United States of America, where [[NothingExcitingEverHappensHere nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen]]. [[TemptingFate Period!]]
* Col. Chamberlain in ''Film/{{Gettysburg}}'', not so much for comedic effect, as it is also an effective RousingSpeech, but to hammer home just how awkward and out of place he is.

-->'''Dudley''': I should just go down there and arrest them all!
-->'''Darling''': I'll give you three reasons why you shouldn't! ...and I'd like to start with the second one first, if that's alright with you.

* In Film/BatmanVSupermanDawnOfJustice, [[Comicbook/LexLuthor Lex's]] speech at the Library Gala. It starts off well but soon becomes derailed as Lex's own philosophical musings and psychosis begin to rear their head, causing Lex to quickly cut himself off.
--> '''Lex Luthor''': Books are knowledge. And I am... No. I, emm, no, what am I? What was I saying? No. The bittersweet pain among men is having knowledge with no power... because that is [[SuddenlyShouting PARADOXICAL]]! And, uh... (nervous laugh)... thank you for coming.

* In ''Literature/SkulduggeryPleasant'', Skulduggery insists he used to be a great speaker, but the only speeches we ever hear from him either fail, or fail [[EpicFail epically]].
-->"I seem to have lost track of this speech, I'm not sure where it's going, but I know where it started and that's what I want you to remember. Has anyone seen my hat?"
** Vaurien Scapegrace is also bad at speeches, but he's a comic relief character, so that's to be expected.
-->"I have looked into the eyes of our foes! Do you know what I have seen? Faces and eyes, gentlemen. Faces... and eyes."
* Creator/BenedictCumberbatch's introduction to the Tie-in Edition of ''Series/{{Sherlock}}'''s ''[[http://deareje.tumblr.com/post/19734459414/introduction-to-the-tie-in-edition-of-sherlock-the Hound of the Baskervilles]]''
-->"Was that all right? Can I do it again? What do you mean it's not like filming...? OH!"
* Solomon's list of seven things God hates in Literature/TheBible (Proverbs 6:16-19) begins:

* The title alone of Creator/SteveMartin's book, ''The Ten, Make That Nine, Habits of Very Organized People. Make That Ten.''

* In ''Series/DoctorWho'', the Tenth Doctor does this periodically:
** In "Human Nature":
--->'''Doctor:''' Martha, before I change here's a list of instructions for when I'm human. One, don't let me hurt anyone. We can't have that, but you know what humans are like. Two, don't worry about the TARDIS, I'll put it on emergency power so they can't detect it, just let it hide away. Four -- no, wait a minute, three. No getting involved in big historical events.
*** Even better is the extended version (including a bit in the middle for the regular episode to fast-forward through) when David Tennant just babbles on, managing to stay completely in character... even though he starts talking about [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rW1x2TmIq8s&NR=1 pears.]]
** In "Voyage of the Damned":
--->'''Doctor:''' First things first. One: We are going to climb through this ship. B ... No. Two: We are going to reach the bridge. Three, or C: We are going to save the ''Titanic''. And, coming in a very low four, or D, or that little (iv) in brackets they use in footnotes: Why?
** "Blink" gets it down to basics:
--->"Listen, gotta dash. Things -- happening. Well -- four things. Well -- four things [[NoodleImplements and a lizard]]."
* One of the central jokes in the Spanish Inquisition sketch on ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus'':
-->"Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our four...no... amongst our weapons.... amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again."

-->'''Casey:''' How am I conversationally anal-retentive?
-->'''Dana:''' Let me answer that question in four parts, with the fourth part first and the third part last. The second part has five subjects --
-->'''Casey:''' All right, all right.

* ''Series/MadAboutYou'' had a recurring joke where Paul would make a rambling speech where he would make his points as "Okay, A... and 2...".

* Ricky in the Series/TrailerParkBoys episode "Take Your Little Gun and Get Out of My Trailer Park" gives this quick breakdown of the situation to the documentary crew:
--> '''Ricky''': Me and Julian can definitely take care of the Cyrus thing, it's just like number one: we're on probation. I don't really think that it's a big deal, but I just don't want to go back to jail again. And number two or three or whatever number I'm on: I'm not going back to jail for Julian because I don't even hang around with him anymore.
* In ''Series/TheITCrowd'', when everyone thinks Jen has died, Denholm pulls one when giving a eulogy:
--> '''Denholm''': God I miss Jen. She reminded me of me at her age. ({{beat}}) I mean, when I was her age, she reminded me of her age. (beat) She reminded me of my age at her age. (beat) When I was her age, she was ''reminded of me?''

[[folder:Theater]]

* Shows up once or twice in ''WesternAnimation/CowAndChicken''.
-->'''The Red Guy:''' What do I know about Supercow? A: She's a superhero. 2: She speaks Spanish...
* In ''WesternAnimation/TheSpectacularSpiderMan'', [[JerkAss Flash Thompson]] does the usual A-then-2 speech to Peter Parker when convincing him to help him get a girl to notice him.