History Main / CleanPrettyChildbirth

Obviously, in real life, this isn't the case. The miracle of birth may be beautiful and natural, but it's also ''pretty damn disgusting,'' what with amniotic fluids, blood, the placenta, screaming, and in some cases fecal matter, urine, vaginal tearing, and all other bits [[VomitIndiscretionShot and]] [[PottyEmergency fluids]] you can think of. The mother also has a tendency to end up drenched in sweat and red in the face due to exertion, as well as knocked out or giddy due to pain or pain medicine. Meanwhile, a healthy newborn, after spending its first few minutes of life crying up a storm (a good thing, since this means it's breathing properly and isn't in distress) will probably be very drowsy or even fast asleep, bright red, and covered in a white waxy substance called vernix, plus a bit of blood and amniotic fluid for good measure. On the rare occasion that the placenta ''is'' mentioned in media, it is usually to set up a DeathByChildbirth situation.

* [[spoiler:On the path to the Family Ending in ''VisualNovel/{{Melody}}'', the title character gives birth to a clean-looking baby.]]

This is usually necessary or desired for the sake of not grossing out audiences. Another factor is the influence of the Moral Guardians; films with G and PG ratings and TV shows scheduled to air during certain hours aren't supposed to show great quantities of blood. A part of UsefulNotes/TheHaysCode: "Scenes of actual child birth, in fact or in silhouette, are never to be presented." And even without those concerns, a genuinely realistic birth would be very demanding and time-consuming (read: expensive) for cast and crew alike). Sometimes they'll just do a TimeSkip: you'll see the mother pushing and probably screaming and then skip to a few minutes later when the baby's already clean and wrapped up.

* In ''VideoGame/ValkyriaChronicles'', a woman gives birth in a tank with no signs of a mess being made. Not only that, she did it quietly enough that the two people who were piloting the tank at the time were able to ''fight a battle'' without being distracted.
* In ''VideoGame/TheSims'', birth is accomplished by the mother (or [[MisterSeahorse father]], if he was kidnapped by aliens) making a few yowling noises, spinning around, and instantly regaining their pre-pregnancy shape. Furthermore, the kid comes out already diapered.
** In the original version, they arrive with a bassinet in a shower of daisies (and can be produced just by kissing passionately enough times), already wearing a sleeper and a little wool hat, to a round of applause from all the Sims in the house.
** Though handily averted in ''VideoGame/TheSims3'', as birth starts with a dash to the hospital, where the family will spend several in-game hours. This takes place after a period of pregnancy (only a few in-game days, with the compressed timescale), during which the mother will suffer soreness, nausea and become less and less mobile as her balance gets moved.
** In ''VideoGame/TheSims4'', if the ''Get to Work'' ExpansionPack is installed, Sims can go to the hospital and have the baby delivered by a machine.
* Grotesquely {{averted|trope}} in the ''VideoGame/{{Bloodborne}}'' DLC "The Old Hunters": The FinalBoss, the Orphan of Kos, is in a cutscene prior to the fight shown to be born out of its EldritchAbomination mother's corpse. The sounds of this birth are nauseating, the Orphan seems to drag out most of its mother's spiny innards with it as it pulls itself out from her, and is there a placenta? You bet there is. It happens to be [[ImprobableWeaponUser the Orphan's weapon of choice.]]

* ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyX2'': Lulu and her baby not only look perfectly clean after she gives birth, she wears her ridiculously tight, form-fitting outfit both during the birth and also the entire time she's pregnant (without ever showing any signs of pregnancy).
* ''VideoGame/StoryOfSeasons2014'' The birth of your children isn't seen, regardless of whether you're the male or female player; the father's off [[PanickyExpectantFather pacing in the lobby]] and only comes to the back room after the twins have been cleaned up and are ready to be named.

Obviously, in real life this isn't the case. The miracle of birth may be beautiful and natural, but it's also ''pretty damn disgusting,'' what with amniotic fluids, blood, the placenta, screaming, and in some cases fecal matter, urine, vaginal tearing, and all other bits [[VomitIndiscretionShot and]] [[PottyEmergency fluids]] you can think of. The mother also has a tendency to end up drenched in sweat and red in the face due to exertion, as well as knocked out or giddy due to pain or pain medicine. Meanwhile, a healthy newborn, after spending its first few minutes of life crying up a storm (a good thing, since this means it’s breathing properly and isn’t in distress) will probably be very drowsy or even fast asleep, bright red and covered in a white waxy substance called vernix, plus a bit of blood and amniotic fluid for good measure. On the rare occasion that the placenta ''is'' mentioned in media, it is usually to set up a DeathByChildbirth situation.

This is usually necessary or desired for the sake of not grossing out audiences. Another factor is the influence of the Moral Guardians; films with G and PG ratings and TV shows scheduled to air during certain hours aren't supposed to show great quantities of blood. A part of UsefulNotes/TheHaysCode: "Scenes of actual child birth, in fact or in silhouette, are never to be presented." And even without those concerns, a genuinely realistic birth would be very demanding and time consuming (read: expensive) for cast and crew alike). Sometimes they'll just do a TimeSkip: you'll see the mother pushing and probably screaming and then skip to a few minutes later when the baby's already clean and wrapped up.

* In ''WesternAnimation/IceAgeDawnOfTheDinosaurs'', the baby mammoth Peaches is born, then shown dry and fluffy within seconds after birth. Given that modern day elephants are born in an absolutely torrential downpour of blood and fluids, and it's a movie for kids, this is probably for the best.

* Inverted in ''Film/{{Prometheus}}''. [[spoiler:Not only is Shaw's cesarean section far more gruesome than most real childbirths, but [[BodyHorror it's not even a human child]] being birthed in the scene, but an alien parasite that she removes via TraumaticCSection before it can burst out of her.]]

* ''Literature/{{Patternist}}'': {{Justified|Trope}} in ''Clay's Ark'' for people who carry the symbiotic Clayark microorganisms. Thanks to their HealingFactor, childbirth isn't much worse than stomach cramps and the newborn recovers from the ordeal and adapts to the outside world almost immediately.

--> '''50s Narrator:''' Congratulations! You're expecting! Don't worry; your doctor will tell you everything you need to know. Hi, doctor!\\
'''50s JD:''' You'll fart, pee, puke, and poop in front of ten complete strangers who'll be staring intently at your vagina! Which, by the way, has an 80% chance of tearing! [[GoodLuckGesture Thumbs up]]\\
'''50s Housewife:''' [To 50s husband] You do it.

* ''Series/{{Angel}}'': It was a unique birth, since Darla couldn't give birth naturally and dusted herself, but there's no sign of blood or anything on Connor at all when Angel picks him up. Granted, it was raining, but still...

* ''Series/ArmyWives'' ends their pilot episode with one of the characters giving birth to twins on top of a pool table in a bar. Lucky for the customers, the only bodily fluids that seemed to get out was a few beads of sweat on her forehead, as even the babies were freshly cleaned.

* Played straight in the TV-movie adaptation of ''Literature/TheMistsOfAvalon'', in which we learn that the time between "baby's first cry as it emerges" and "baby clean and pink and swaddled in a blanket, cradled in the arms of smiling fully-dressed mother, ready to receive visitors" is approximately 2.2 seconds. This being set in the sixth century C.E.

* ''Series/WandaVision'': In keeping with the "family sit-com" aesthetic of Westview, apart from some screaming and contractions, Wanda's birth of the twins in episode three goes very cleanly. Both Billy and Tommy are clean and dry as soon as they're born, and Wanda doesn't even bother to change out of the dress she gave birth in, which seems untouched. [[spoiler: Since Wanda is responsible for the rules of the sit-com, she's pretty obviously inclined not to make it too difficult on herself.]]

** Though handily Averted in ''VideoGame/TheSims3'', as birth starts with a dash to the hospital, where the family will spend several in-game hours. This takes place after a period of pregnancy (only a few in-game days, with the compressed timescale), during which the mother will suffer soreness, nausea and become less and less mobile as her balance gets moved.

* In ''WesternAnimation/IceAgeDawnOfTheDinosaurs'', the baby mammoth Peaches is born, then shown dry and fluffy approximately 5 minutes after birth.

[[folder:Web Comics]]

* The High Priestess of Aku from ''WesternAnimation/SamuraiJack'' Season 5 manages to deliver septuplets in a cave with no medical aid or assistance and still has enough energy left over to give a sermon to her fellow cultists. Most real mothers would have died from such an experience, but for the High Priestess, it is just one more step in her plan to kill Jack.[[spoiler: It helps that she’s not entirely human.]]

'''50s JD:''' You'll fart, pee, puke, and poop in front of ten complete strangers who'll be staring intently at your vagina! Which, by the way, has an 80% chance of tearing! [[GoodLuckGuesture Thumbs up]]\\

* In ''Webcomic/TheBirdFeeder'' [[http://thebirdfeeder.com/comic/64 #64]], "Birthday," one of Darryl and Edna's children breaks out of its shell, looking quite like a fledgling cardinal, at which point they both yell, "Happy Birthday!"

Obviously, in real life this isn't the case. The miracle of birth may be beautiful and natural, but it's also ''pretty damn disgusting,'' what with amniotic fluids, blood, the placenta, and in some cases fecal matter, urine, vaginal tearing, and all other bits [[VomitIndiscretionShot and]] [[PottyEmergency fluids]] you can think of. The mother also has a tendency to end up drenched in sweat and red in the face due to exertion, as well as knocked out or giddy due to pain or pain medicine. Meanwhile, a healthy newborn, after spending its first few minutes of life crying up a storm (a good thing, since this means it’s breathing properly and isn’t in distress) will probably be very drowsy or even fast asleep, bright red and covered in a white waxy substance called vernix, plus a bit of blood and amniotic fluid for good measure. On the rare occasion that the placenta ''is'' mentioned in media, it is usually to set up a DeathByChildbirth situation.

** UpToEleven in the original version: they arrive with a bassinet in a shower of daisies (and can be produced just by kissing passionately enough times), already wearing a sleeper and a little wool hat, to a round of applause from all the Sims in the house.

* Averted in Creator/WilliamBlake’s “Infant Sorrow”, a counterpoint to “Infant Joy”, another poem written for ''Songs of Innocence and of Experience''. In this poem, Blake shows that childbirth can be a painful and upsetting experience for just about everyone involved:

This is usually necessary or desired for the sake of not grossing out audiences. Another factor is the influence of the Moral Guardians; films with G and PG ratings and TV shows scheduled to air during certain hours aren't supposed to show great quantities of blood. A part of UsefulNotes/TheHaysCode: "Scenes of actual child birth, in fact or in silhouette, are never to be presented." Sometimes they'll just do a TimeSkip: you'll see the mother pushing and probably screaming and then skip to a few minutes later when the baby's already clean and wrapped up.

* The High Priestess of Aku from ''WesternAnimation/SamuraiJack'' Season 5 manages to deliver septuplets in a cave with no medical aid or assistance and still has enough energy left over to give a sermon to her fellow cultists. Most real mothers would have died from such an experience, but for the High Priestess, it is just one more step in her plan to kill Jack.

A variation is when creatures hatch from eggs looking mostly dry and clean. Modern reptile and bird eggs have moisture inside, not to mention bits of leftover membranes -- a baby chicken needs about an hour of drying time to go from 'damp dinosaur' to 'adorable fluffball.'

* In ''WesternAnimation/IceAge3DawnOfTheDinosaurs'', the baby mammoth Peaches is born, then shown dry and fluffy approximately 5 minutes after birth.

* In series 3 of ''Series/{{Poldark}}'', Demelza is digging potatoes in the garden when she goes into labour. [[InstantBirthJustAddWater In no time at all]], she then gives birth to her daughter solo, bathes her, wraps her up, and is sitting up in bed, looking glowy and beautiful by the time her husband Ross is back. The childbirth was so pretty, he does not realise she has given birth and Demelza then reveals their new baby as a ''surprise''.

SubTrope of PregnancyDoesNotWorkThatWay and related to InstantBirthJustAddWater. When a live baby is shown, it is never an actual newborn, and is often a ThreeMonthOldNewborn, due to legal reasons. Compare OutGivingBirthBackInTwoMinutes, for births taking place off-screen and in less time than they should.