History Main / AbuseMistake

* The "Something actually abusive is mistaken for something that doesn't need worrying about" factor is often the reason why reports of Female on Male abuse are treated in an off-hand way in comparison to Male on Female abuse. A man hauls off and slaps a woman in public, everyone is concerned for her safety because he's obviously a monstrous abuser. A woman hauls off and slaps a man in public, no one reacts in the same way because she probably had a good reason for doing so. Some witnesses will even assume he deserved being slapped.

** Or that bullying is "just part of growing up".
*** And [[SarcasmMode girls couldn't possibly be anyone's tormenter, because the only kind of bullying ever is physically beating people up.]] (Of course, plenty of female bullies *do* beat up their victims, [[AbuseIsOkayWhenItIsFemaleOnMale not that anyone ever notices or cares...]])
*** Heck, there's a whole bunch of excuses used to ignore/justify bullying, but a whole list would fill up the page.

* In one episode of Girls (a James Bond parody about a reluctant MartyStu named Lester Girls), our hero rescue a man from getting tortured by a beautuful woman. However, the "victim" gets mad at him for ruining the scene. What first [[WrongGenreSavvy looked like]] the AbusivelySexyWoman kind of FanService turned out to be simple [[SafeSaneAndConsensual consensual]] CasualKink.

* Abiru of ''SayonaraZetsubouSensei'' has her injuries mistaken for the result of domestic abuse.
** Specifically, she gets those injuries after tugging on the tails of animals she cares for at the zoo.

** Another episode had Fran repeatedly having actual accidents that are often used as excuses by abuse victims, i.e. falling down stairs, getting hit by an opening door, etc. Given Stan's... [[{{Understatement}} aggressively macho]] personality, everyone assumes the worst.

*** And [[SarcasmMode girls couldn't possibly be anyone's tormenter, because the only kind of bullying ever is physically beating people up.]] (Of course, plenty of female bullies *do* beat up their victims, [[AbuseIsOkayWhenItIsFemaleOnMale not that anyone ever notices or cares...]]

*** And [[SarcasmMode girls couldn't possibly be anyone's tormenter, because the only kind of bullying ever is physically beating people up.]]

* In ProtectorOfTheSmall, Keladry goes to the public baths one day to enjoy soaking in the warm water. Concerned women rush over to assure her that whoever he is, even if he's a noble, he'll be caught and tried and made to pay. Keladry is a squire, and her day-to-day injuries from combat training are apparently rather alarming out of context.

+Author David Sedaris tells a story in one of his books about [[AmySedaris his sister Amy]], when she was invited to be part of a magazine's photoshoot on "Women in Comedy." While the other women got glammed and made-up, Amy's only instruction to the make-up artist was "I want to look like someone beat the shit out of me." So she had her photo taken in a couture dress with fake blood, bruises and a black eye. The real kicker came when she decided to go shopping afterwards ''without removing her make-up,'' and when a concerned citizen asked her if she was OK, she replied "I'm better than OK! I've finally found a man who loves me!"

* ''{{Jam}}'' plays this for BlackComedy in sketch wherein a wife is upset about her husband's apparent affair and he's making stereotypical excuses i.e. it was purely physical, the other woman didn't mean anything to him, it was an isolated incident. His wife is finally reassured of his fidelity after he reveals that he and the other woman weren't having an affair; he was just raping her.

See also FriendlyWar, CasualKink and SafeSaneAndConsensual for non-abusive stuff that can be mistaken for abuse. Compare YouJustRuinedTheShot, for cases where the "victim" was an actor in a movie rather then a participant in a sexual game. Contrast AbusivelySexy (with the subtropes BastardBoyfriend and AbusivelySexyWoman) as well as AbuseIsOkayWhenItsFemaleOnMale for situations that are clearly abusive but the audience isn't really intended to care.

'''Warning!''' Expect unmarked spoilers, since this trope is about situations being revealed o be different then they looked.

When PlayedForLaughs, the mistake is almost always Type A, and quickly corrected. When PlayedForDrama, however, a real victim might be denied help (Type B), a innocent person might get his life ruined with unfair accusations of abuse (Type A), or the designated "victim" (again Type A) gets stalked or outright oppressed by unwanted "rescuers". These helpers might even go to great lengths [[ManufacturingVictims trying to force her to "realize" that she's a victim of abuse]]. And no, not the actual abuse that ''they'' are subjecting her to.

* LoveHina. The girls of the house will think that Keitaro, being extremely unlucky and clumsy, is trying to molest/abuse them, so type A. However, some of their punishments of him will slip the show into type B.