History GeniusBonus / Jokes

** A variant of this joke goes like this: An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first mathematician orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. "I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies. "Excuse me?" asks mathematician #2. "What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous." "Oh c'mon," says mathematician #1. "Do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along!" "There are very strict laws on how I can serve drinks. I couldn't serve you half a beer even if I wanted to." "But that's not a problem" mathematician #3 chimes in "at the end of the joke you serve us a whole number of beers. You see, when you take the sum of a continuously halving function-" "I know how limits work" interjects the bartender. "Oh, alright then. I didn't want to assume a bartender would be familiar with such advanced mathematics." "Are you kidding me?" The bartender replies, "you learn limits in like, 9th grade! What kind of mathematician thinks limits are advanced mathematics?" "HE'S ON TO US" mathematician #1 screeches. Simultaneously, every mathematician opens their mouth and out pours a cloud of multicolored mosquitoes. Each mathematician is bellowing insects of a different shade. The mosquitoes form into a singular, polychromatic swarm. "FOOLS" it booms in unison, "I WILL INFECT EVERY BEING ON THIS PATHETIC PLANET WITH MALARIA!" The bartender stands fearless against the technicolor hoard. "But wait" he interrupts, thinking fast, "if you do that, politicians will use the catastrophe as an excuse to implement free healthcare. Think of how much that will hurt the taxpayers!" The mosquitoes fall silent for a brief moment. "My God, you're right. We didn't think about the economy! Very well, we will not attack this dimension. FOR THE TAXPAYERS!" and with that, they vanish. A nearby barfly stumbles over to the bartender. "How did you know that that would work?" "It's simple really," the bartender says. "I saw that the vectors formed a gradient, and therefore must be conservative." [[note]]A mosquito is a vector of disease transmission. "Gradient" can refer to a gradual change of color. In vector calculus, a conservative vector field is a vector field that is the gradient of some function.[[/note]]

* Russian political humor practically runs on this, because you have to know the popular caricatures of every Russian leader since like 1900 in order for the punchlines to make any sense. If you don't know, they are just weird and sometimes don't even sound like jokes. If you do know, they're so hilarious it's practically impossible to be mad even if the joke is skewering a politician you agree with. Unfortunately, the humor can tend to be lost in translation since much of it operates via puns that may only work in Russian: so English-language publications talking about the jokes usually have to ExplainTheJoke.
** Although not actually Russian-made, the popular Website/YouTube video ''WebVideo/CompleteHistoryOfTheSovietUnionArrangedToTheMelodyOfTetris'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWTFG3J1CP8 (link)]] is a good example of how Russian political humor works (but in a way that an average non-Russian can understand).

* Why do mathematicians get Halloween and Christmas confused? Because [=OCT=] 31= [=DEC=] 25 [[note]]31 in octal (base 8) is equal to 25 in decimal (base 10, the base we normally use.) [[/note]]

* Why do mathematicians get Halloween and Christmas confused? Because Oct 31= Dec 25 [[note]]31 in octal (base 8) is equal to 25 in decimal (base 10, the base we normally use.) [[/note]]

* Why do mathematicians get Halloween and Christmas confused? Because Oct 31= Dec 25 [note] 31 in octal (base 8) is equal to 25 in decimal (base 10, the base we normally use.) [[/note]]

* A new preacher comes to a small town on a Friday, and decides it would be a good idea to visit each member of his congregation at home to get to know them before Sunday's service. All goes well until he comes to one house. The preacher knocks, and rings the door bell, but even though the lights are on and activity can be seen inside, no one answers the door. Exasperated, but deciding it's best not to bother them, the preacher takes a card out of his pocket and writes "Revelation 3:20"[[note]]''Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.''[[/note]] on it, before slipping it under the door and leaving. Come Sunday, after finishing his sermon at the local church, the preacher finds the card in his collection basket, and sees that the resident of the house has written "Genesis 3:10".[[note]]''I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because [[NakedPeopleAreFunny I was naked]].''[[/note]]

-->'''Q:''' When does a pentagon[[note]]The five-sided figure.[[/note]] only have ''four'' sides?
-->'''A:''' When it's bisected[[note]]Split into two equal parts.[[/note]] by a plane.[[note]]The flat, two-dimensional surface.[[/note]]

** Although not actually Russian-made, the popular youtube video ''Video/CompleteHistoryOfTheSovietUnionSetToTheMusicOfTetris[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWTFG3J1CP8]]'' is a good example of how Russian political humor works (but in a way that an average non-Russian can understand).