History Funny / TrueFacts

-->"This is sort of like an upside-down version of the balcony scene from ''Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet''. [[{{Dissimilie}} But they both have bongos and Juliet is a potentially a pissed-off cannibal]]. Six of one, half a dozen of another."

-->"This is sort of like an upside-down version of the balcony scene from ''Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet''. But they both have bongos and Juliet is a pissed-off cannibal."

** Jerry's insistence on using the term "spore boner", much to the narrator's irritation.
** One parasitic fungus causes the corpses of infected flies to release chemicals that induce healthy flies to mate with said corpses, which then become attached. The narrator mentions that the subsequent corpse stuck to your backside would make for an awkward conversation at work.
---> '''Narrator''': You know Dave from accounting is going to say something like, "Oh, looks like you had an interesting weekend." And you're like, "Yes, it was a nice weekend, ''Dave''. Went antiquing, planted some herbs, f***ed a corpse, and did some light spring cleaning, thank you very much. Freaking ''Dave''."
** The narrator immediately notes that the fungus ''Massospora'', which specializes in infecting cicadas, is yet another "dad joke time bomb". Said bomb goes off when it's revealed that ''Massospora'' first eats the abdomen of the host cicada, then creates a plug of spores to replace it:

** Going even further than that, some ''Massospora'' species pump the host cidaca full of psilocybin, the hallucinogenic compound found in magic mushrooms, as well as the stimulant cathinone. Which means the cicadas are essentially perma-tripping.
--->"Todd, what happened to your ass?!" "Who cares?! Whooooooo!"

* The RunningGag of Jerry's insistence that mustelids can fart bees, which the narrator quickly grows frustrated with. In fact, the wolverine is skipped almost entirely because Jerry didn't do ''any'' other 'research'.

* "Many sharks can swim quite quickly. This comes in handy, because sharks live in places where there are sharks."

* Jerry's insistence that mustelids can fart bees, which the narrator quickly grows irritated by. In fact, the wolverine is skipped entirely because Jerry didn't do ''any'' other 'research' other than that.

** At the end, the narrator takes Jerry to task about this, eventually admitting that [[NotSoAboveItAll yes, he too wishes it was possible.]]

-->"Even though if I do the same thing, but on a couch, naked with a bag of chips propped up on my tum-tums, for some reason, ''I'' look pathetic! It's a double standard and it's bulls***."

-->"Jerry! [[AbsurdPhobia You're afraid of butterflies!]] They aren't dangerous. No, clowns are. But butterflies aren't."

* Jerry's insistence that mustelids can fart bees, which the narrator quickly grows irritated by. In fact, the wolverine is skipped entirely because Jerry didn't do ''any'' other research.
** When they get to the badgers, Jerry hastily deletes the word 'bees' as the narrator gets to it, leaving him saying that all badgers can fart. The narrator grudgingly admits that at least it's true now.
** At the end, the narrator takes Jerry to taks about this, eventually admitting that [[NotSoAboveItAll yes, he too wishes it was possible.]]

* Jerry's insistence that mustelids can fart bees, which the narrator quickly grows irritated by.

[[folder: The Incredible Tardigrade]]

* The BaitAndSwitch involving the giraffe's family, genus and species - ''Giraffidae'', ''Giraffa'' and... ''[[TheLastofTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers camelopardalis]]''.

-->"Todd, what happened to your ass?!" "Who cares?! Whooooooo!"

* One way to tell the difference between a land pig and a sea pig is "that bacon from a land pig tastes delicious, while bacon from a sea pig tastes like a fish farted on a dirty beach cracker."

* "[Christmas tree worms' scientific name is] ''spirobranchus gigantius''. Given that they are, on average, one and a half inches long, I'd say that's a bit of hubris. If one and a half inches is 'gigantius', trust me, I'll be referring to a part of myself as very 'gigantius' from now on. Don't be a perv; I'm talking about my pinky. [[DoubleSubversion 'Pinky' is what I call my penis.]] Who's the perv now? Oh - still me."

* The BaitAndSwitch involving the giraffe's family, genus and species - ''giraffidae'', ''giraffa'' and... ''[[TheLastofTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers camelopardalis]]''.

* The abundance of jokes about how ''agaronia'' looks like a penis and testicles while it's feeding.

** One species, ''platax pinnatus'', has juveniles that ''actually'' mimic the toxic flatworm ''pseudobiceros han[[InherentlyFunnyWords cock]]anus''.

* At several points in the video [[BrickJoke stock footage of a moth is shown]], to which the narrator exasperatedly says "Jerry, that's a ''moth''."[[note]]One particular species of moth, the Hummingbird Hawk Moth, looks a great deal like a hummingbird due to convergent evolution.[[/note]]

** The narrator immediately notes that the fungus ''massospora'', which specializes in infecting cicadas, is yet another "dad joke time bomb". Said bomb goes off when it's revealed that ''massospora'' first eats the abdomen of the host cicada, then creates a plug of spores to replace it:

** Going even further than that, some ''massospora'' species pump the host cidaca full of psilocybin, the hallucinogenic compound found in magic mushrooms, as well as the stimulant cathinone. Which means the cicadas are essentially perma-tripping.

* The line afterwards informs you that echidnas were made [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs 54 seconds after God created marijuana]]. And Doritos were made literally 10 seconds later.

[[folder:True Facts Animal Awards: Tangle Worms, Creepiest Dave & Much More]]
* The single best joke in the series is one that has taken ''years'' to build up to. While dealing with colonoscopy, the narrator does the "but scientists" RunningGag, but in ''reverse'', declaring "but scientists- excuse me, ''butt'' scientists", in a kind of RussianReversal of the original gag!
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** The narrator has a little fun with the fact that beavers are coprophagous - they need to eat their own poop to get more nutrients out of it.
--->"So not only do they have to chew the crap out of their food, they then have to chew the food out of their crap!" (''reastraining laughter'') Alright, I'm done."

** ''Platax orbicularis'' has the unfortunate habit of following turtles and eating their poop. The narrator [[SidetrackedByTheAnalogy goes on to imagine]] that land bats don't want this fish named after them, as well as the awkward conversations the turtle has to have when he turns up at a party with one of these fish in tow.

* On discussing the structure of rodent teeth, the narrator notes that tooth enamel is made of crystals of a mineral called hydroxylapatite, which he describes as a "dad joke time bomb". Said bomb [[BrickJoke goes off]] when he shows a cross-section of an elderly horse, whose teeth have been worn down with age and wear:

* On discussing the structure of rodent teeth, the narrator notes that tooth enamel is made of crystals of a mineral called hydroxylapatite, which he hescribes as a "dad joke time bomb". Said bomb [[BrickJoke goes off]] when he shows a cross-section of an elderly horse, whose teeth have been worn down with age and wear:

-->''This one's looking 'guilty A.F.,' as the kids might say. That's right, you little f[bleep]er, you're caught on camera!''

-->''That's some cold sh[bleep]. You're not even born yet and you're an accessory to murder!''

-->''And look at this. It'll even try to hatch a'' Minecraft ''egg!''

-->"This horse won't be able to eat much longer, because it's [[Pun lost it's apatite]]!" (''chuckling'') "Ah, that's it..!"

** The first time this line is spoken, Jerry inexplicably decides to illustrate this with a clip of an epaulette shark swim-walking very slowly. The narrator lambasts this by saying the shark is just ruining the reputation of other sharks this way.
-->''Try putting'' that ''in a scary movie, Jerry. 'Look out, shark! Everyone walk at a moderate pace in the opposite direction!' It'd be a disaster!''"

-->"Because, to whoever discovered it first, it apparently looks like the product of a camel and a leopard. [[{{Pun}} Humping.]] (''sotto voce'') [[LamePunReaction Kill me.]]]]"

-->'''Narrator:''' Oh, for f[[SoundEffectBleep ***]]'s sake, you can't learn ''anything'' from that! That's like trying to learn the principles of Swiss minimalist design from a Lisa Frank sticker! [[EmbarrassingHobby No, I didn't collect them!]] [[subscript: Yes, I did.]]

-->"And let me tell you, if these urticating hairs get on your skin, or in your eyes or in your mucous membranes, they can ''urt'' like hell. [[LamePunReaction Kill me.]]"

** The first time this line is spoken, Jerry inexplicably decides to illustrate this with a clip of an epaulette shark swim-walking very slowly. The narrator lambasts this by pointing out that the epaulette shark is just ruining the reputation of other sharks by doing this.

* The narrator having another rant at Jerry for describing the male sharks' claspers as a double penis just because it looks (and fnctions) like one:

-->''If that were true, we'd be in a pickle! I mean, right there, pickles! You want a jar of [[CensoredForComedy d***cks]]], Jerry?!''