History Funny / ThePunisher

* There are a lot in ''Welcome Back, Frank'' but the top one is probably when HilarityInzoos. Devoid of weapons Frank dispatches several mooks before finding a polar bear pen, coming up with the ''[[CrazyEnoughToWork brilliant]]'' idea of angering them to fight by ''punching'' one.

* How do you make Punisher LighterAndSofter? Just have him ramble on in Frank Miller's [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XoRGgpF2qc oh-so-easy-to-parody style of prose]] on WesternAnimation/TheSuperheroSquadShow.

--> Joan: The ducks! The ducks!
--> Frank: They had to go.

--> (On first hearing of the Punisher) "''Is he like {{Mighty Thor}}? I am fan of mighty Thor. He has big hammer, he seems like good Communist''..."

* There are a lot in ''Welcome Back, Frank''m but the top one is probably The Punisher punching the polar bear.

* He's basically a OneSceneWonder but his appearance in the Civil War was memorable: [[spoiler: He joins the Anti-Registration side and does some infiltration work for them, enters their base, sees two supervillains, shoots them dead on the spot and is promptly told to leave.]]

* There are a lot in ''Welcome Back, Frank'' but the top one is probably The Punisher punching the polar bear.

** The Russian's fight with Frank counts, too. Punching him as soon as soon as he opens the door, smacking Frank in the face with a ''toilet''...it's hilarious.

* "I am putting ten million dollars on the head of the animal that did this to me." "You--you want us to put a hit on the bear?" "On the ''Punisher''." "Oh."

!!MAX Series
* Castle and O'Brien hooking up in ''Up is Down''.
--> O'Brien: I've been in jail for eighteen months. When we get through here, you want to go jump in the sack?
--> Frank: (completely deadpan, with the same face he'd use to make a threat) Sure.
** And in ''Man of Stone''.
--> O'Brien: You cold?
--> Frank: No.
--> O'Brien: You lonely?
--> Frank: No.
--> O'Brien: You want to jump my bones anyway?
--> Frank: Sure.
--> "''Seem to remember telling myself this wasn't going to happen. But that was yesterday''."
** Later, after they've slaughtered over half of Zhakharov's men, the two of them stand over the carnage -
--> O'Brien: I'd like to fuck you right here and now, you know that?
--> Frank: Everything in moderation.
** Earlier, O'Brien and Roth rescue Frank Castle:
--> Roth: Get in the fucking car, you prick!
--> [[InnerMonologue Caption]]: Best offer I'm likely to get all night.
* MAX!Bullseye is a bottomless well of twisted, dark hilarity. After spending a few issues [[FoeYay gushing]] over how great Frank is, they finally come face to face as Bullseye sits behind bullet-proof glass. After rambling inaudibly to Frank through the glass, he gets out a pen and paper...
-->'''Bullseye's notepad''': [[AC: What's your favorite color? Red, right?]]
-->''[Frank reads, raises an eyebrow and silently pulls out and sticks a chunk of C4 on the glass]''
-->'''Bullseye's notepad''': [[AC:...Blue?]]
* During Castle's rampage in ''Up is Down, Black Is White''
-->'''Mayor''': Well, what's the good news?
-->'''Johnathan''': Crime's down.
-->'''Mayor''': '''''Fuck you''''', Johnathan.
* From the ''Kingpin'' arc, there's a moment where Frank is heading towards Fisk's home in a car and as he's driving, he notices something...
--> [[InnerMonologue Caption 1]]: Funny, could've sworn for a second there was someone following me, in a horse and buggy.
--> [[InnerMonologue Caption 2]]: [[TemptingFate That would be a first.]]

* After Frank's run-in with Agent X and Outlaw, Frank is driving off, having stolen their clothes and left them in a phone booth. The "camera" pans to the stolen clothes in the back seat, then pans to Frank wearing Outlaw's hat and listening to country, with a completely serious look on his face.
* He's basically a OneSceneWonder but his appearance in the Civil War was memorable: [[spoiler: He joins the Anti-Registration side, enters their base, sees two supervillains, shoots them dead on the spot and is promptly told to leave]]

--> (On first hearing of the Punisher) "Is he like {{Mighty Thor}}? I am fan of mighty Thor. He has big hammer, he seems like good Communist..."
--> (When offered ten million to kill the Punisher) "Ooooh. The Russian could buy many pairs of Levis with that amount. Many compact disks."

* What about Ma Gnucci leaping out of a burning building ''without arms or legs'' and trying to gnaw the Punisher's legs off? ''That,'' friends, is [[TheDeterminator determination]].

--> "Seem to remember telling myself this wasn't going to happen. But that was yesterday."

--> O'Brein: I'd like to fuck you right here and now, you know that?

* The QuipToBlack at the end of Punisher:Warzone when Frank caps a guy trying to mug Soap.
-->'''Soap:''' Great, now I got brains splattered on me.
* Budiansky's reaction to the Punisher blowing his prisoner's head off. "God damn it, Castle!"
* A fat Irish gangster attempts to sit out the climactic gunfight by hiding in an elevator, but makes the fatal decision to have a cigarette. The smoke leads frank to the elevator...
-->'''Fat Mook:''' [[OhCrap Aw,]] [[UsefulNotes/BritishAccents f'r fook's sake--]]
-->'''[[BoomHeadshot Bang]]'''

* The fat {{Mook}} Frank catches on the toilet.
-->'''Fat Mook:''' [[OhCrap Oh, shit...]]

* Budiansky's reaction to the Punisher blowing his prisoner's head off. "God damn it, Castle!"

* He's basically a OneSceneWonder but his appearance in the Civil War was memorable: [[spoiler: He joins the Anti registration side, enters their base, sees two supervillains, shoots them dead on the spot and is proptly told to leave]]

-->'''Soap:''' Great, now I got brains splattered on me.

--> [[InnerMonologue Caption 2]]: [[TemptingFate That would be a first.]]

** Earlier, O'Brein and Roth rescue Frank Castle:

--> [[InnerMonologue Caption 1]]: Funny, could've sworn for a second there was [[Foreshadowing someone following me, in a horse and buggy.]]

--> [[InnerMonologue Caption 1]]: Funny, could've sworn for a second there was [[Foreshadowing someone following me, in a horse and buggy.

* During one of his (many) rematches with [[TheBigGuy The Russian]], Frank finds himself interrupted by SpiderMan. Unable to fight the Russian toe-to-toe himself, he manages to hold Spidey up infront of him, using him as a shield as the Russian just ''wails'' on him. After the fight, as the confused and beaten Spidey regains consciousness...
-->'''Spider-Man''': Wha...what happen?

-->'''Bullseye's notepad''': [[AC: What's your favourite colour? Red, right?]]

* He's basically a OneSceneWonder but his appearance in the Civil War was memorable: [[spoiler: He joins the Anti registration side, enters their base, sees two supervillain, shoots them dead on the spot and is proptly told to leave]]

* During castle's rampage in ''Up is Down, Black Is White''

-->'''Mayor''': '''Fuck you''', Johnathan.

-->''[Frank reads, raises and eyebrow and silently pulls out and sticks a chunk of C4 on the glass]''

** While fighting off the Russian mob from Joan's cottage in the wilderness, Frank accidentally shoots Joan's ducks.
--> Joan: The ducks! The ducks!
--> Frank: They had to go.
* Pretty much everything the Russian says:
--> (On first hearing of the Punisher) "Is he like {{Mighty Thor}}? I am fan of mighty Thor. He has big hammer, he seems like good Communist..."
--> (When offered ten million to kill the Punisher) "Ooooh. The Russian could buy many pairs of Levis with that amount. Many compact disks."
** The Russian's fight with Frank counts, too. Punching him as soon as soon as he opens the door, smacking Frank in the face with a ''toilet''...it's hilarious.
* After Frank's run-in with Agent X and Outlaw, Frank is driving off, having stolen their clothes and left them in a phone booth. The "camera" pans to the stolen clothes in the back seat, then pans to Frank wearing Outlaw's hat and listening to country, with a completely serious look on his face.
* He's basically a OneSceneWonder but his appearance in the Civil War was memorable: [[spoiler: He joins the Anti registration side, enters their base, sees two supervillain, shoots them dead on the spot and is proptly told to leave]]