History Funny / TheGoodPlaceSeason2

* The FailureMontage of [[NoodleIncident the various reboots and attempts]]. RapidFireComedy doesn't even ''begin'' to describe it.

'''Janet:''' I have tickets to ''{{Theatre/Hamilton}}'' next week! And there's a rumor that Daveed Diggs is coming back!\\

--> '''Michael:''' Oh! New scent? "{{Film/Transformers}}".\\

'''Michael, Attempt #333:''' This is your soulmate, a golden retriever.

'''Michael:''' Okay, I know what you're thinking: Birth is a curse and existence is a prison. But don't think about that! Don't be sad, you guys! Focus on something great, like Drakkar Noir. ''[sniffs wrist]'' Whoo! Which I am wearing a ''lot'' of tonight! Or! The Sharper Image catalog! What can't those guys ionize? By the way, I am feeling ''amazing!'' I'm gonna do some push-ups, then we'll go round the room and name our favorite cheese!\\

'''Michael:''' Oh, I know, I know, I'm sorry, babe. Listen, when you guys first took over, I was upset. But it's all good now! I mean, anger is toxic, I'm not about that negativity. ''Mi'' torture es ''su'' torture. I am so happy you're in charge.\\

'''Eleanor:''' ''[more choked up]'' So the parent toothbrushes can be close to the kid toothbrushes and... watch over them and... ''[audibly crying]'' they can all talk about their... toothbrush feelings and... and they can... hold their little toothbrush hands when they're sad? And... make sure no harm ever comes to their little bristles?\\
'''Greg:''' ...Sure?\\

'''Eleanor:''' ''[sniffs]'' Thank you...,Sorry, I'm so embarrassed....''[takes tissue, then sees box]'' A ''[[ComplimentBackfire family pack]]!?'' ''[sobs even louder and continues weeping into the plunger]''
** "And in the words of a very wise Bed, Bath, and Beyond employee I once knew: Go ahead and cry all you want. But you're gonna have to pay for that toilet plunger."

'''Eleanor:''' So... let me get this straight. You want me to convince Michael to turn you into a marble, because you're causing earthquakes, because you're sad about Jason, who whom you were once married, because he's currently sleeping with Tahani.\\

* Bad Janet delivers many hilarious lines as she and Shawn confront Michael, like making fun of him supposedly [[BringMyBrownPants junking his jeans]] and telling him to shove up the marbleized Good Janet (whom she found in like two seconds since she had the audacity to be ''polite'' to people in the halls of the Bad Place) up his wiener for safekeeping. These liners become funnier with the revelation that she's actually Good Janet in disguise.

'''Tahani:''' Oh, yes, sorry: Maggie Smith is my godmother. ''[Eleanor rolls her eyes]'' Anyway, I took a deep breath, told them I ate a Cheeto, and walked away.\\

* Attempt #3 features a completely over-the-top ObviouslyEvil black-and-glowing-red obelisk inscribed with strange runes and constantly emitting fog, ostensibly sent to reclaim Eleanor for the Bad Place.

'''Vicky:''' ''[fuming]'' I never even got to play my stupid triangle.

-->'''Michael:''' There you guys are!\\

* The montages of [[NoodleIncident the various reboots and attempts]]. RapidFireComedy doesn't even ''begin'' to describe it.

'''Eleanor:''' No.\\
'''Michael:''' Jason Mendoza!

-->'''Jianyu:''' I can't go! I'm too young to die! And too old to eat off the kids' menu! ''What a stupid age I am!''\\

--> '''Tahani:''' I always have to have my sashes custom-made, due to my height and bosom size.\\
''[Eleanor looks at Tahani's bosom]''\\

'''Eleanor:''' Go fork yourself, you mean giraffe!
** During the chaos sequence the next day, Michael pauses in his running and screaming to specifically tell Eleanor that "Mean giraffes are destroying the neighborhood."

--> '''Eleanor:''' Is one of these nerds like a teacher or a life coach or an Instagram fitness model or something?

--> '''Eleanor:''' Hang on one second, Chibi.
-->'''Eleanor:''' Hang on one second, Cheeto.
-->'''Eleanor:''' Hang on one second, Chili. ''[to Janet]'' This guy sucks. Who else you got?\\
'''Chidi:''' [[ImStandingRightHere I can hear you.]]

--> '''Jianyu:''' I can't go! I'm too young to die! And too old to eat off the kids' menu! What a stupid age I am!\\

* When Eleanor realizes once again that they are in the Bad Place, Michael briefly attempts to laugh it off, gives up, announces "Ah, farts", and resets them again.
* In Attempt #11, Eleanor's soulmate is a... musician, if the word is used somewhat loosely. And his backing instrumentalists: Michael, in dark glasses and a suit, on bass; Janet, in dark glasses and a wig, on drums; and Vicky. On ''triangle.''
--> '''Sebastian:''' ''[to jazzy music]'' My love, my sweet dewdrop. I have written you a three-hour spoken-word jazz opera!\\

* The montages of the various reboots and attempts. RapidFireComedy doesn't even ''begin'' to describe it.

'''Janet:''' I have tickets to {{Theatre/Hamilton}} next week! And there's a rumor that Daveed Diggs is coming back!\\

'''Eleanor:''' ''[sitting among the crowd of residents in the town square]'' Wait a minute.\\

---> '''Pasta theme:''' "[[{{Theatre/Annie}} Lasagne Come Out Tomorrow]]", "[[Film/LaLaLand Ziti of Stars]]", "(You Do the) Hokey Gnocchi (and You Get Yourself Some Food)", "[[Music/FrankSinatra The Pesto's Yet to Come]]"\\

* In Attempt #108, Michael is making observations to his audio log when Eleanor discovers she's in The Bad Place when she walks in because [[FailedASpotCheck the door was open and she overheard]]. He immediately resets, and on Attempt #109 notes aloud that he's closed and locked the door. Then looks over at it, just to make sure.

-->'''Michael:''' ''[with [[BeardOfSorrow unkempt facial hair]] and bow tie askew, [[CallBack in his stress hoodie]], [[INeedAFreakingDrink pouring a glass of alcohol]]]'' I mean, why even bother at this point? I'm ''obviously'' never gonna get it right. ''[mocking]'' "I'm Eleanor! I'm so smart! I'm actually in the Bad Place! Bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh!" Shawn still thinks I'm on Version #2. I just keep lying to him, it's really bad but I... I mean I have to keep trying, I'm in too deep! And I'm really ''fat'' right now! I'm stress-eating and, and I'm gaining weight in my thighs, I mean look at them, ''[shakes legs]'' bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh! Ugh!\\

'''Todd:''' ''[in lava monster form]'' [[VocalDissonance Uh, yeah, obviously I have a light]]. You know, you guys aren't supposed to be smoking.\\

* Chidi and Eleanor run away from the demons:
--> '''Chidi:''' Oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God!\\

--> '''Eleanor:''' Hi. You gotta help us. I'm Eleanor, this is Chidi, and, see, we thought we were in the Good Place, but as it turns out--\\

* The smirk Michael makes when Chidi tells him knows more than him about ethics. You can basically ''hear'' Michael thinking, "Oh, I'm gonna mess with this guy so bad."

* [[invoked]] Tahani's smug evaluation of her party: "I would say I outdid myself, but I'm ''always'' this good, [[AccidentalInnuendo so I simply... did myself]]."

'''Chidi:''' Okay, sure, but philosophy is about questioning things that you take for granted, and I, I just don't think that you're doing that. I mean, ''[reading]'' "I personally know that Victor Hugo is in the bad place being tortured. He's a real wuss, too; if one of the lava monsters even gets near the guy he's like, ''[Michael begins mouthing along]'' 'Sacre bleu, I peed in m'pants'."\\

''[in the background, Eleanor comes to a realization and shakes her head in disapproval]''\\

'''Michael:''' What?\\

'''Michael:''' ''[walks away, then turns back, confused]'' [[JerkJustifications But I said "my bad"]].\\

** The realization that somewhere, there's a pile of broken down Bad Janets with melted body parts from before Michael gave up and just stole a Good Janet. Kinda like the gag from ''Film/{{Dogma}}'': "Humans don't have either the aural or physical capacity to withstand the awesome power of God's true voice. Were you to hear it, your head would cave in and your heart would explode. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out."

--> '''Val:''' Where did you get this? Did you actually get into the Good Place somehow?\\

--> '''Tahani:''' ''[reading]'' "First man to send an unsolicited picture of his genitals". ''[presses button; a man photographs his genitals with an old-timey box camera, complete with flash powder]''\\

* [[SkewedPriorites Tahani's concerns]] when told there is a potential transport to the Good Place: "Well, is--is it nice? Is there a business class? Can I pre-board?"

* Jason's [[SkewedPriorities priorities]]:
--> '''Jason:''' Michael sucks now. He pretended to be our friend, he's gonna torture us for eternity, and you know what the worst part is? He doesn't remember the name of my favorite football player.\\

* The newest exhibit is unveiled: Replicas of the four humans.

'''Tahani:''' [[SkewedPriorities Is that what they think my hair looks like?]]

---> '''Tahani replica:''' I'm Tahani Al-Jamil, a vainglorious attention seeker with enough jealousy to power Elon Musk's underwater mansion. Which I've been to, by the way.\\

'''Tahani replica:''' It's remarkable.\\

'''Chidi replica:''' I'm Chidi Anagonye. Or, maybe I'm not. I can't decide anything. Or maybe I can. Aaaah. I can't decide. My stomach hurts.\\

'''Eleanor replica:''' I'm Eleanor Shellstrop. I mock others to distract myself from the emptiness inside me.\\

'''Jason replica:''' I'm Jason Mendoza. ''[{{beat}}]'' Duhhhhhhhh.\\
'''Jason:''' ''[delighted]'' That's me!
* The group are cornered by the crowd of demons, including Shawn and his security.
--> '''Tahani:''' What do we do?\\
'''Jason:''' This. ''[removes his pocket square, stuffs it into a nearby bottle of alcohol, and uses it to light a Molotov cocktail]'' Jortles! ''[hurls it to the ground]''\\

** She criticises Chidi's inability to choose a hat for 82 minutes. He asks if he at least chose the right one, but Gen retorts, "There is no right one! ''They're hats!''"