History Funny / StreamFourStar

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[[folder: TFS at the Table: Dungeons & Dragons]]
* Zito's introduction as the GM in the advertisement video:
-->'''Zito''': Oh, hello. It's me, Chris Zito, and I'll be your guide on this high-seas adventure. Did I say guide? [[SuddenlyShouting I]] [[VoiceOfTheLegion MEANT]] [[GlowingEyesOfDoom GOD!!!]]
** Eloy's introduction also deserves mention. Lani and Grant are both deathly serious as they describe Wake, a man looking to avenge his family, and Ezra, the LovableRogue. Ben starts out equally serious only to [[MoodWhiplash suddenly switch to a hillbilly accent as he describes Eloy, a literal ass-man who only wants to make others happy, with the dramatic music abruptly cutting to a banjo.]]
* At the start of the first stream, Zito begins building up the epic homebrew adventure he's made, then holds up the gamebook for ''Tales of Equestria'', the official ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' tabletop RPG. After realizing what he's holding, he quickly tosses it aside and holds up the real gamebook. The others note that it was $30 well spent just for that one joke.
** Lani jokes that it's a tax write-off as a business expense, then proceeds to roll for IRS.
* ''Everything'' about 'Grammy' the Old Soup Lady Slave and her SecretIngredient (particularly Zito's 'Old Lady voice') [[spoiler: Though it turns out she's not actually a slave and the SecretIngredient was Seagull]].
* Some of the incidents in the battle in the cargo hold:
** Thanks to the ship rocking, an orc's blunderbuss aimed at Wake (Lani's character) misses and instead kills another orc.
-->'''Lani''': Well that guy doesn't look pretty anymore.
-->'''Zito''': No, he [[YourHeadASplode blew his head clean off.]]
** Wake prepares to smack an Orc with his spear, and [[EpicFail rolls a natural 1]], while Zito rolls a 99 percentile. The spear slips out of his hand and crashes against the wall behind him, breaking open a hole that causes a wave of water to crash into the room. The force of the wave causes Ezra (Grant's character) and Skrung (a goblin NPC) to crash into a crate face first.
** As the battle is going on, an orc is more focused on opening a giant crate with a crowbar. Ezra fires his crossbow and impales the orc's hand as he's reaching for the crowbar for max damage. In a blind rage, he throws a hatchet at Ezra and misses completely.
** The blunderbuss orc goes to fire again.
-->'''Ben''': He does have disadvantage, though, because of actions that I took! 'Cause I'm the best!
-->'''Zito''': He has disadvanta-[[EpicFail he rolled a 1.]]
-->'''Ben and Grant''': Hooray!
-->'''Lani''': That's the most disadvantageous.
-->({{beat}})
-->'''Zito''': It explodes in his hand and takes his upper torso with him.
-->'''Lani''': Well, good! He's gone!
-->'''Grant''': I was gonna say. I was sensing an [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes Elmer Fudd]]-esque "looks down the barrel and gets blasted".
* In the second session, the party meets a friendly ogre with a lisp named Timothy. Lani points out that with Ben's character being a centaur, they now have [[{{WesternAnimation/Shrek}} an ogre and a talking donkey.]] Zito immediately follows this up by having Timothy say "So [[MemeticMutation somebody once told me...]]"
* [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Drunk. Eloy.]]
-->'''Grant''': (After attempting to haul a passed out Eloy up a flight of stairs and taking 5 points of damage for his trouble) Alright, note to self: [[CantHoldHisLiquor Keep Eloy away from the sauce.]]
* In the third session, Zito introduces fruit-shaped finger puppets to make it clearer which NPC is speaking. Lani and Zito soon get into an argument over which fruit each puppet represents, and end up rolling Knowledge to determine who's right. Zito, after fumbling with the dice due to all of his fingers having puppets, rolls a nat 20.
-->'''Zito''': *Holding two of the puppets in front of Lani's face and speaking in a falsetto pitch* [[MemeticMutation Don't talk to me or my son ever again!]]
* Also during the third session, while trying to find the thieves guild Wake and Ezra get separated from Eloy, who went the right way. When Wake manages to hear Eloy's yells, he moves back towards him, dragging...
--> '''Zito''': *having just pulled a very excited face after a roll* Alright, well, you grab him and you pull this way.
--> '''Lani''': I head back to where he was calling from.
--> '''Zito''': Yep. You head back to where he was calling from. *turns to Hbi and Grant* He's pulling an old lady along with him.
--> '''Hbi (as Eloy)''': Hi Wake! Hi... hello! Who are you?
--> '''Lani (as Wake)''': *Turns to look at who he's holding* ...hello.
--> ''Everyone bursts into laughter''
* Trying to distract a bunch of rat children, Eloy sings "The Ballad of Billy Punchyface", a legend about a rat kin with amazing punching powers. The whole thing was so popular that on a later session when Lani was absent, Ben ran an entire one-off adventure featuring the origin story of Billy Punchyface.
* Grant's repeated botches are funny but it all culminates in [[spoiler: accidentally shooting Wake with a crossbow.]] If anything, this episode cements Ezra's status as the ButtMonkey.
** Making it funnier is Lani reacting as though he hit the arm only for Zito to wordlessly inform [[BoomHeadshot where it actually hit.]] [[spoiler: Wake spends the rest of the fight utterly delirious from the head injury and the boss worsening it by draining his blood.]]
* After a toucan leads them to some loot, Eloy decides to play it a song on his flute as thanks. [[EpicFail Cue nat 1]]. The bird takes his flute and flies to a higher branch. Eloy threatens to shoot it if it doesn't give him the flute back, causing Ezra to note that the bird has been helpful, so they should chuck a rock at it instead. Ezra does just that, the bird drops the flute and Eloy runs to catch it. [[EpicFail Cue yet another nat 1 ]] and one broken flute. Ezra tries to comfort the distraught Eloy:
--> '''Grant (as Ezra)''': Look Eloy, worse case scenario, we can get this back to the [[MadScientist Gimme brothers]] and they can make you a new flute.
--> '''Hbi (as Eloy)''': AWW THEN I'LL HAVE A MURDER FLUTE ELOY, BY MURDERERS! I DON'T NEED A FLUTE FULL OF MURDERER!
** Wake manages to fix the flute, prompting Eloy to thank and apologise to Wake and Ezra. [[HilarityEnsues And then the bird speaks up]]:
--> '''Zito (as toucan)''': Apologise to me asshole.
--> '''Hbi (as Eloy)''': [[BerserkButton YOU CAN-]] [[PrecisionFStrike YOU CAN EAT MY GIANT DONKEY DICK BIRD!]] [[RageBreakingPoint YOU ARE LUCKY I DO NOT GROW WINGS AND FLY UP THERE AND STRANGLE YOU!]]
* After getting stuck in Quicksand underwater, Wake tries to raise his spear up the water so that the others can see him. Grant comments on how familiar this scene is.
-->'''Grant:''' It's like a Sword in the Lake scenario...
-->'''Wake:''' (Garbled) Help...
--->Everyone laughs.
-->'''Eloy:''' Ezra, I recon we can become the King of the Swamp!
-->'''Ezra:''' I don't know...
-->'''Zito:''' You see an Ogre in the distance...
-->'''[[{{Expy}} Ogre:]]''' (In the distance) '''[[MemeticMutation THIS]] [[{{WesternAnimation/Shrek}} IS MY SWAMP!!!]]'''
* The lizard folk are depicted as DeepSouth swampfolk who spend most of their time trophy hunting and really don't give a shit about possible death or mutilation.
** Old Young Cledus is a young lizard folk who lost so much of his body he was forced to retire early, hence his name. The party tricks him and his crew into buzzing a Navy ship and imagine it's something out of a ''Duke of Hazard'' episode.
* Ben's [[PunnyName punny character names]] in the Billy Punchyface 'Gaiden' session.
** A gnome named Chompski.
** A clay golem named [[UsefulNotes/MuhammadAli Cassius]]
** Three gnolls named Lee, Harvey and Oswald, who work at the Grassy Gnoll.
* Also, Billy constantly having to be restrained from punching everybody by the other party members.
* Just the very fact that the Gaiden episode is one WholePlotReference to TheGodfather. The player's reactions upon realizing this is hysterical.
* The end of the Gaiden's teaser, where the camera pans onto Gaijin Goombah, seeing Zito, Grant in a "werekangaroo" (re: fox) mask, and Kirran shadowboxing with tissue paper handwraps.
--> '''Gaijin Goombah (with arms raised in amused confusion)''': What the hell did I just walk in on? (''laughter from Ben and the other three offscreen'')
** Even better, when the camera is pointed at Grant as he dons the mask, you can see the reflection of the glass behind him showing that Gaijin just entered the office at that very moment. Considering a couple of minutes had likely passed between that and then Kirran's intro as Billy, he was just standing there in sheer bewilderment, with Ben, holding the camera, only realizing he was there the whole time.
* A good chunk of the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8XJz8fpxXs fifth session]] is spent arguing with "Trunky", a [[ChestMonster mimic]] who sounds an awful lot like [[AquaTeenHungerForce Meatwad]], and is probably the snarkiest mimic ever. The second mimic, [[AerithAndBob Kevin]], is also a laugh.
** During a battle, Grant observes that the miniature he's using to represent Ezra looks like he's [[MemeticMutation dabbing]], which leads to jokes both in this session and the next that Ezra is doing it all the time in battle.
* Onslow, their companion lizard folk, is constantly happy until things start getting weird at the cave where his clan's favorite prey usually shows up. When they learn that the local slimes have been used for experiments with Abyssal contamination in a prelude to doing the same to his clan, he's angry... that it messed with the hunt.
* The party infiltrates a Navy base with Ezra acting as a distraction, claiming he was attacked by the crocodile people. The crew immediately buy this as a "Yee-haw!" is heard in the distance.
* Eloy learned how to create and control fire, an obviously magical display from somebody who claims to have no magic. He is quite certain he's just summoning will-o-the-wisps. In the middle of the day.
* They find a new mimic named Roy in Episode 6 who was made to consume biological waste from his creator's experiments. They end up getting him drunk feeding him wine-infused slime and realize it's a really good way to get rid of the monsters. This leads to a debate of building a stand to funnel it into Roy while Zito incredulously asks if they're going to kegger stand the poor trunk.
** {{Squick}} ensues when they suggest taking him to dispose of... ''other'' waste during long ocean trips. Roy refuses as he only wants to eat ''bodies'', not stuff that's already gone through them. The offer of stuffing it into seagulls first earns a scream of disgust.
* At the beginning of Episode 7, Ezra discovers that the mysterious ring he found in Yeldin's Cave grants him [[NoSell immunity (or at least extreme resistance) to fire.]] Cue half the party trying to ''experiment'' with this, ie: Repeatedly setting Ezra on fire.
-->'''Lani:''' "Stress Test! Stress Test! Stress Test!"
* The carnival is introduced to the party by a pimply, much put-upon teenager wearing a ridiculous crab costume. Their snake person companion thinks it's an Abyssal, Ezra thinks it's a brilliant idea, Eloy tips him, and [[{{Jerkass}} Wake plans to tell the kid's boss he's breaking character]].
* Eloy buys a set of bagpipes in Episode 7. In his haste to show the others, he plays a tune......by rolling a natural 1. Everyone is deafened by the display.
* Everything about Nedra, outside of her combat state. She's adorably sweet, friendly, and energetic, completely at odds with the fact that she's a nine-foot-tall Tiefling barbarian with monstrous strength. Especially visible with her interactions with the straight-laced Wake.
** While commissioning a drawing of her, Zito instructed the artist to "Think the girl from ''Film/TheRing'', but on pixie sticks". The chat starts comparing her to Caulifla from ''Anime/DragonBallSuper''.
* When the group meets the owner of the carnival, Ezra claims that the party are traveling entertainers. He asks what Skrung's role is; Wake says he's the StraightMan, which the owner takes to mean he's the clown. Cue BigWhat from Skrung. Ezra convinces him to play along, resulting in Skrung (with teeth clenched so tight they could turn coal into diamonds) declaring "That's me, Botchy the Clown!"
** Later on at the arena, Skrung bets against Wake; when Wake wins, Skrung lets out an AtomicFBomb for the ages.
** Eloy, the only one to bet on Wake, walks away from the match rich. This causes Ben to lament that the wealthiest character he's ever had is the [[IdiotHero thundering dumbass with no concept of money.]]
* In the eighth session, Zito has a slip of the tongue and says "goose" instead of "ghost". After everyone gets a good laugh, he declares "Roll initiative to fight the dire goose!"
** During the same session, Lani (due to rolling a Nat 1 on a knowledge check on the undead) decides to make Wake a FlatEarthAtheist who doesn't believe in the idea of undead. This leads to the guys joking about the planet being flat, with Zito holding back laughs as he says "Please, one of you tell me your character's a flat-earther."
*** Just to drive the point home, the guys soon after meet with Rattles - the local ''lich''. Wake has to perform some mental gymnastics to justify his existence.
* In Session 9, Eloy asks Risf about the various gods, trying to find out more about religion. One of the gods Risf mentions is "Zuhan, the Wanderer of Balance and Neutrality". Eloy quips "Ooh, I hear [[Film/YouDontMessWithTheZohan you don't mess with him]]", which elicits a simultaneous double {{Facepalm}} from Grant and Lani and makes Zito say he doesn't want to read the rest of the pantheon now. Extra funny if that implies that the names Zito picked for his gods are all as pun-worthy.
** In the same episode, after hearing her voice in the distance repeatedly for the past episodes whenever her [[spoiler: seagull]] stew or bottles of cat's grace came up, Grammy returns in the flesh, this time with a pie for our boys to try. Wake is the first taster...and discovers it's [[MasochistsMeal raw pufferfish]]. Lucky for him, Lani rolled high enough to gain the +1 AC bonus...but his tongue starts numbing though he keeps on eating, genuinely liking it. [[ButtMonkey Ezra and Eloy]] don't have quite the same luck, but SKRUNG does!
** Wake does get some really bad luck right before that. Having to wake up so early and leave for the southern islands as discreetly as possible before anyone else in the town is up, Wake has to go get his upgraded spear from the Gimme Brothers. At first, he just fails punching their metal door, cracking his middle finger. Then, when he tries to stop the door from closing with the same hand, which not only damages it, but, [[EpicFail Zito having rolled max damage, DISLOCATES IT!]] Fortunately, Troy the naval paladin is able to all but completely restore the hand (10 out of the 12 HP restored).
* In Session 10, [[ItMakesSenseInContext Wake dismembers a dead velociraptor to get its pheromone gland]] so they can throw off other raptors. Gopher offers up an alchemical smoke grenade, suggesting Wake mix the pheromones in with it. Lani dubs this a "Raptor Sex Bomb", to which Grant replies "[[AGoodNameForARockBand That's the name of my punk band!]]"; as they high-five, Zito sighs and says "[[SurroundedByIdiots The shit your players come up with, I swear to God...]]"
** Ezra and Skrung mount the same raptor, only for Skrung to kick its side and throw Ezra off and under the raptor's feet. He tries again and gets headbutted. Third time's the charm, despite Skrung trying to agitate the raptor.
** Poor Eloy can barely keep up with the raptors while carrying a dwarf of his back. Said dwarf mockingly tells Eloy to go faster than throws banana peels in front to trip him up. Grant wonders why they've chosen to surround themselves with all these ''assholes'' and let the nice ones leave.
** Eloy uses Suggestion to convince an Abyssal amalgam that it's a living yuan-ti that wishes to save the island. The newly sentient creature ''flips the fuck out'' at the horror of its new body.
--->'''Wake''': Oh my god. Eloy, what have you done?
* Session 11 sees Lani, tired of his string of nautral 1's, inadvertently naming their group the Natural One-ders.
** After another red cap escapes, Skrung tosses an (inert) explosive rune to Wake and laughs with Gofer at the possibility of it going off when Wade caught it. Then Skrung bungles a force rune trap, showering Eloy with a hail of glass. As an apology he gives Eloy what the red cap had hidden behind it... and gets a natural 1 while opening the bag, setting off a (dud) rune.
--->'''Eloy''': Guys, based on how the day is going so far...\\
'''Zito''': Says the guy who has velociraptor wounds on his face and now glass shards.
** Skrung and Wake get their hands covered in a sticky substance. Wake gets his hand stuck to a wall until Eloy frees him with alcohol, making a joke in the process. Skrung holds out his fist to get it dissolved and Eloy fist bumps him, sticking the two of them together.
** [[spoiler:Yeldin]] the depressed Mimic Boat. They end up leaving Gulfur with him while chasing Victor... and Wake sticks an ''explosive rune to his neck''. Grant notes it's probably going to be a little hard to get him to work with them in the future.
--->'''Zito''': Gulfur will remember this.

** [[spoiler:Yeldin]] the depressed Mimic Boat. They end up leaving Gofer with him while chasing Victor... and Wake sticks an ''explosive rune to his neck''. Grant notes it's probably going to be a little hard to get him to work with them in the future.
--->'''Zito''': Gofer will remember this.

** [[spoiler:Yelder]] the depressed Mimic Boat. They end up leaving Gofer with him while chasing Victor... and Wake sticks an ''explosive rune to his neck''. Grant notes it's probably going to be a little hard to get him to work with them in the future.

** [[spoiler:Yelder]] the depressed Mimic Boat. They end up leaving Golfer with him while chasing Victor... and Wake sticks an ''explosive rune to his neck''.

** [[spoiler:Yelder]] the depressed Mimic Boat.

*** Just to drive the point home, the guys soon after meet with Rattles - the local ''lich''. Wade has to perform some mental gymnastics to justify his existence.

** During the same session, Lani decides to make Wake a FlatEarthAtheist who doesn't believe in the idea of undead. This leads to the guys joking about the planet being flat, with Zito holding back laughs as he says "Please, one of you tell me your character's a flat-earther."

* In Session 9, Eloy asks Risf about the various gods, trying to find out more about religion. One of the gods Risf mentions is "Zuhan, the Wanderer of Balance and Neutrality". Eloy quips "Ooh, I hear [[Film/YouDontMessWithTheZohan you don't mess with him]]", which elicits a simultaneous double {{Facepalm}} from Grant and Lani and makes Zito say he doesn't want to read the rest of the pantheon now.

** In the same episode, after hearing her voice in the distance repeatedly, Grammy returns in the flesh, this time with a pie for our boys to try. Wake is the first taster...and discovers it's raw pufferfish. Lucky for him, Lani rolled high enough to gain the +1 AC bonus...but his tongue starts numbing and he can't stop eating it. Ezra and Eloy don't have quite the same luck, but SKRUNG does!

* The stream after Thanksgiving was on Tuesday, swapping places with the normal DnD stream since Grant was away. Except Lani ''and'' Kirran, who were supposed to be on, both got sick, so the stream ended up being Zito and Ben just dicking around the whole time. They start off the stream as [[https://clips.twitch.tv/AgitatedSteamyPeachPJSalt "Dumpling" and "Dead Yamcha"]] (who sounds like Skeletor/Papyrus), and it just [[https://clips.twitch.tv/ChillyCovertHumanTwitchRPG goes downhill from there]] in the most hilarious way.

-->'''"Dumplin": So, usually Team Four Star does this but they're all dead!