History Funny / Spaceballs

** "Let's see if you know how to ''handle'' it."

* In Spaceball City when Barf and Lone Star are DressingAsTheEnemy they find the guards (whose uniforms they stole) in the hallway in their underwear.

'''Guard 2:''' ''[cowering meekly]'' And beat the shit out of us too!! ''[both then run as Lonestar fires on them]''
** The way Barf stole their uniforms is priceless too--he just waltzes around the corner, [[FlippingTheBird extends his middle finger]], and makes kissing noises at them, provoking them into a fight which he and Lone star handily won.

** A trooper takes off Dot's batteries.

'''Dark Helmet:''' What the hell am I looking at? When does ''this'' happen in the movie?!\\

'''Dark Helmet:''' ''[unfathomably embarrassed]'' KNOCK ON MY DOOR! KNOCK NEXT TIME!!!\\

'''Dark Helmet:''' Did you see anything!?\\

-->'''Skroob:''' Sandurz, Sandurz, ya gotta help me. I don't what to do, I can't make decisions, [[AcceptableTargets I'm a president!]]

** And by the way, it turns out that [[BrickJoke President Skroob has that combination on his luggage.]] He himself says so. Cue the exchanged glance between Sandurz and Helmet.

* The torture scene. Seems a bit far-fetched that torture can be considered funny, but it's the method Dark Helmet intends to torture Vespa; plastic surgery to give her back her old nose, which horrifies both her and the king. And this gets the latter to tell them the combination to access Druidia and its air. The combination is... 1... 2... 3... 4... 5.

** [[http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c20/Nekagi/thats_not_all_hes_lost.png the look Dark Helmet has on his face]] when he says that last line.

** And by the way, it turns out that [[BrickJoke President Skroob has that combination on his luggage.]] He himself says so.

* Plus, when they're getting the movie, they go over to a rack containing every previous Creator/MelBrooks movie, lots of ''Franchise/FridayThe13th'' films, and ''Franchise/{{Rocky}} I'' through ''Rocky XIV''. Which sets up a subtle BrickJoke that pays off right after Pizza the Hutt's death is announced on the news. "Coming up next, Pongo's review of Rocky Five... ''Thousand''."

-->'''Dark Helmet:''' ''[using a deep voice]'' So Princess Vespa, at last, I have you in my clutches, to have my way with you, the way I want to. ''[in higher-pitched, feminine voice]'' No please leave me alone! ''[deep voice]'' NO! You are mine! ''[imitates Lone Starr]'' Not so fast, Helmet! ''[Helmet voice]'' Lone Starr! ''[Lone Starr voice]'' Yes, it's me. I'm here to save my girlfriend. Hi honey! ''[Helmet voice]'' Now, you are going to die! ''[makes shooting noises, Lone Starr voice]'' Ahhh...ahhh! ''[imitates Barf]'' Hey! whadja do to my friend? ''[Helmet voice]'' The same thing I'm going do to you big boy! ''[makes shooting noises at "Barf"]'' And you too! ''["shoots Dot"]'' Now Princess Vespa, at last we are alone. ''[Vespa voice]'' Oh, no! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! Leave me alone! And yet... I find you strangely attractive. ''[Helmet voice]'' Of course you do. Druish princesses are often attracted to money and power, and I have both, and you know it. ''[Vespa voice]'' NO! Leave me alone! ''[Helmet voice]'' NO! Kiss me!! ''[in Vespa's voice, makes smooching noises with the Dark Helmet and Princess Vespa figures]'' OH... ohh... oh your helmet is sooo big.\\

* The abandon ship sequence is hilarious in visual humor. Not only are the soldiers and officers running about, but we also get these shots of circus performers mixed in the crowd. And through it all, the Spaceballs BraggingThemeTune is playing about how cool and mighty the Spaceballs are, while the Spaceballs themselves are panicking like their headless chickens.

* "Oh shit. There goes the planet."

[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/infinity.png]]

'''Colonel Sandurz:''' ''[voice breaks harshly]'' Prepare the ship-- ''[collects himself]'' Prepare the ship for LudicrousSpeed! Fasten all seat belts! Seal all entrances and exits! Close all shops in the mall! Cancel the three ring circus! Secure all animals in the zoo--\\

** The way Barf stole their uniforms is priceless too--he just waltzes around the corner, [[FlippingTheBird extends his middle finger]], and makes kissing noises at them. Naturally, it works.

''[Sandurz struggles to reach a lever labeled "Emergency Brake -- Never Use"; when he pulls it,'' Dark Helmet is rocketed towards the front console, where he smashes it and his helmet]''\\

* "I'm the Bearded Lady! What are you, one of the ''freaks?!''

** "It's Mega-Maid! She's [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar gone from suck to blow!]]"

''(Barf walks away, howling and moaning from the pain)''

-->''(They fast-forward past the stuff you've seen before in the movie. Dark Helmet has a bamboozled look on his face as he watches. And after seeing himself crash into the control panel earlier...)''\\
'''Dark Helmet:''' No no, go past this; past this part. ''(darts eyes to the side)'' In fact, [[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain never play this again]]. ''(awkwardly sips coffee)''\\
'''Colonel Sandurz:''' ''(to the Operator)'' Try it here. Stop.\\
''[[DrosteImage The footage is now playing at normal speed. They are now watching themselves-right-now.]] [[MindScrew Dark Helmet is very confused and proceeds to wave his arm up and down.]]''\\

[[{{Beat}} *beat* ]]\\

'''Dark Helmet:''' ''WHOOOOOOOOO?!?!'' (mask on helmet slams down)
** Plus, when they're getting the movie, they go over to a rack containing every previous Creator/MelBrooks movie, lots of ''Franchise/FridayThe13th'' films, and ''Franchise/{{Rocky}} I'' through ''Rocky XIV''.
*** Which sets up a subtle BrickJoke that pays off right after Pizza the Hutt's death is announced on the news. "Coming up next, Pongo's review of Rocky Five... ''Thousand''."

'''Gunner:''' ''[[ComicallyCrossEyed (very cross-eyed)]]'' Sorry, sir; I'm doing my best!\\

'''Officer:''' ''(also very cross-eyed)'' I did, sir! [[{{Nepotism}} He's my cousin]]!\\

''(Everyone else (but one) on the bridge stands up and waves)''\\

'''Dark Helmet:''' I knew it! [[SurroundedByIdiots I'm surrounded by Assholes!]] ''(puts his visor back down)'' '''''Keep firing, Assholes!'''''
** The 'Keep Firing' bumped it from amusing to [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments hilarious]].

'''Dark Helmet''' (''to Sandurz''): Do something!\\
(''Sandurz grabs the intercom'')\\
'''Sandurz''' (''over the intercom''): [[RuleOfThree Do something!]]

-->'''Lone Starr and Barf:''' ''(quickly stand up)'' CheckPlease!

''(The entire crew gasps.)''\\

''({{Beat}})''\\
'''Colonel Sandurz:''' ''(voice breaks harshly)'' Prepare the ship-- ''(collects himself)'' Prepare the ship for LudicrousSpeed! Fasten all seat belts! Seal all entrances and exits! Close all shops in the mall! Cancel the three ring circus! Secure all animals in the zoo--\\
'''Dark Helmet:''' ''(snatches PA voice box from Sandurz's hand)'' Give me that, you [[StealthPun petty excuse for an officer]]! Now hear this! Ludicrous speed--\\

''(Dark Helmet clings to his console, screaming as he sees various warp trails on the monitor. Meanwhile, there are signs lighting up indicating "[[AC:Light Speed]]", "[[AC:Ridiculous Speed]]", and a flashing "[[AC:LudicrousSpeed]]" sign.)''\\
'''Dark Helmet:''' ''(straining)'' [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone What have I done?!]] My brains...are going into ''my feet!''\\
''(The StreamingStars soon turn into a plaid pattern. Lone Starr and Barf duck as ''Spaceball One'' rockets past them)''\\

'''Colonel Sandurz:''' ''(whimpering)'' We can't stop, it's too dangerous! We've got to slow down first!\\

''(Sandurz struggles to reach a lever labeled "[[AC:Emergency Brake -- Never Use]]". When he pulls it,'' [[RealityEnsues Dark Helmet is rocketed towards the front console, where he smashes it and his helmet).'']]\\

'''Dark Helmet:''' ''(dazed)'' Fine. How have you been?\\

''(Dark Helmet collapses.)''

-->'''Radar Technician:''' Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhit! ''(taps his helmet, making beeps. Talks into the communicator in a high staticky voice)'' [[AC:Sir?]]\\

'''Radar Technician:''' [[AC: Can I talk to you for a minute please, sir?]]\\

'''Radar Technician:''' [[AC: I'm having trouble with the radar, sir!]]\\
'''Colonel Sandurz:''' You don't need that, private. ''(takes the communicator and puts it back on its place)'' We're right here, now what is it?\\
'''Radar Technician:''' [[AC: I'm having trouble with the radar, sir!]]\\
'''Dark Helmet:''' ''(angrily grabs and throws the communicator away)'' NOW WHAT IS IT?\\
'''Radar Technician:''' ''(normal voice)'' I'm having trouble with the radar, sir!\\

'''Radar Technician:''' You know, the bleeps... ''(Makes beeping noise)''... the sweeps... ''(Makes vibrating noise)'' and the creeps. ''(Makes squeaking noise)''\\
'''Dark Helmet:''' ''(Quietly, to Sandurz)'' That's not all he's lost.
** [[http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c20/Nekagi/thats_not_all_hes_lost.png the look Dark Helmet had on his face]] when he says that last line.

-->'''Dark Helmet:''' ''(using a deep voice)'' So Princess Vespa, at last, I have you in my clutches, to have my way with you, the way I want to. ''(in higher-pitched, feminine voice)'' No please leave me alone! ''(deep voice)'' NO! You are mine! ''(imitates Lone Starr)'' Not so fast, Helmet! ''(Helmet voice)'' Lone Starr! ''(Lone Starr voice)'' Yes, it's me. I'm here to save my girlfriend. Hi honey! ''(Helmet voice)'' Now, you are going to die! ''(makes shooting noises, Lone Starr voice)'' Ahhh...ahhh! ''(imitates Barf)'' Hey! whadja do to my friend? ''(Helmet voice)'' The same thing I'm going do to you big boy! ''(makes shooting noises at "Barf")'' And you too! ''("shoots Dot")'' Now Princess Vespa, at last we are alone. ''(Vespa voice)'' Oh, no! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! Leave me alone! And yet,...I find you strangely attractive. ''(Helmet voice)'' Of course you do. Druish princesses are often attracted to money and power, and I have both, and you know it. ''(Vespa voice)'' NO! Leave me alone! ''(Helmet voice)'' NO! Kiss me!! ''(in Vespa voice, makes smooching noises with the Dark Helmet and Princess Vespa figures)'' OH..ohh.....oh your helmet is sooo big.\\
'''Colonel Sandurz:''' ''(barges in)'' Lord Helmet!\\
'''Dark Helmet:''' ''(startled, hiding his action figures)'' WHAT!!??\\

'''Dark Helmet:''' ''(unfathomably embarrassed)'' KNOCK ON MY DOOR! KNOCK NEXT TIME!!!\\

* The torture scene. Seems a bit far fetched that torture can be considered funny, but it's the method Dark Helmet intends to torture Vespa; plastic surgery to give her back her old nose, which horrifies both her and the king. And this gets the latter to tell them the combination to access Druidia and its air. The combination is... 1... 2... 3... 4... 5.
--> '''Dark Helmet:''' So the combination is 1-2-3-4-5... That's the STUPIDEST combination I've ever heard in my life! That's the kind thing an idiot would have on his luggage.

* President Skroob orders Helmet to 'comb the desert', and he makes his men follow the order. Literally.
** "We ain't found shit!"
*** Making that funnier? That's [[Series/StarTrekVoyager the fellow who went on to play Tuvok]]!

* "I ain't shooting this thing! [[DoesntLikeGuns I hate guns!]]"
** Followed by Princess Vespa's BerserkButton: "My hair! He SHOT MY HAIR!"[[HypocriticalHumor *cocking]] [[DramaticGunCock gun*]] "Son of a BITCH!"
--->'''Vespa:''' How was that?\\

-->"Why didn't someone ''tell'' me my ass was so big!?"

'''Vespa:''' ''(trying to open the cockpit door)'' What about this one?\\

'''Lone Starr:''' (in a dubious voice) The [[Franchise/StarTrek Vulcan Neck Pinch]]?\\

'''Lone Starr:''' Like this? (correctly performs the move)\\
'''Guard:''' Yeah! (collapses)

'''Dark Helmet:''' ''(Pause for thought)'' Yes! I always have coffee when I watch radar, you know that!\\

'''The Crew:''' ''(covering their genitalia due to [[ShareTheMalePain an earlier guy who got zapped]])'' OF COURSE WE DO, SIR!\\

''Then a final visual gag as the radar machine is right next to the coffee machine, looks pretty much the same, and is titled "Mr. Radar"''.
** And in a later scene, where they look for the ''Spaceballs'' movie to find the heroes--the video tape display is labeled "Mr. Rental".

-->'''Guard 1 (pointing angrily):''' HEY!!! THOSE ARE THE GUYS WHO STOLE OUR UNIFORMS!!\\
'''Guard 2 (cowering meekly):''' And beat the shit out of us too!! (Both then run as Lonestar fires on them)

'''Barf:''' Yeah well normally I... ''(tries to get up but still had his seat belt on)'' Ooh! That's gonna leave a mark.\\
'''Vespa:''' Now listen you... ''(she's struck by his looks, then shakes it off)''\\
'''Lone Starr:''' ''(similarly look-struck)'' ''You'' listen! On this ship, you refer to me as "idiot", not "you captain"! [[{{Beat}} ...]] I mean... you know what I mean!

''(ship explodes)''

-->'''Helmet:''' Uh... ''(points at Lone Starr)'' [[NeverMyFault he did it!]]\\

''(They resume their fight)''