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Changed line(s) 12 (click to see context) from:
-->It's because of my work ethic. My grandfather used to say, "That boy's got a lot of ''quit'' in 'im!" And that's true, too. What I didn't quit, I got kicked out of. I got kicked off the high school debate team for shouting "Yeah? Well, '''FUCK YOU!'''" I thought I'd won! [[ChewbaccaDefense The other guy was speechless.]]
to:
-->It's because of my work ethic. My grandfather used to say, "That boy's got a lot of ''quit'' in 'im!" And that's true, too. What I didn't quit, I got kicked out of. I got kicked off the high school debate team for shouting "Yeah? Well, '''FUCK YOU!'''" I thought I'd won! [[ChewbaccaDefense The other guy was speechless.]] [[LoopholeAbuse I thought that's what we were trying to do.]]
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* That hilarious, shit-eating grin he makes at the end of his "Go Find a Helmet/Put On The Damn Helmet" joke.
Changed line(s) 19 (click to see context) from:
-->If the shoe was on the other foot, I wouldn't go "Oh look, I'm spotting!" '''FUCK''' that; I'd be running down the street like my ''hair'' was on fire, screaming "MY BALLS ARE BLEEDING, MY ''BALLS'' ARE BLEEDING!!"
to:
-->If the shoe was on the other foot, I wouldn't go be all nonchalant, "Oh look, I'm spotting!" '''FUCK''' that; I'd be running down the street like my ''hair'' was on fire, screaming "MY BALLS ARE BLEEDING, MY ''BALLS'' ARE BLEEDING!!"
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** The on-stage story of how he wound up with it is made up for comic effect, but "Tater Salad" ''was'' his real nickname in the Navy.
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Changed line(s) 20 (click to see context) from:
-->They say that on a hot day when the wind's picking up, over 2 million people can smell this particular mill. That is a BIG... ODOR. If they were playing music and ''2 million people'' could hear it, they'd make 'em ''turn it the fuck off.''
to:
-->They say that depending on a hot day when which way the wind's picking up, blowin' over 2 million people can smell the stench produced by this particular mill. one paper plant at a time. That is a BIG... ODOR. big... odor. If they were playing it was music and ''2 2 million people'' people could hear it, ''hear it'', they'd make 'em ''turn it the fuck off.'''' Because it's a smell, it's okay? No, it's not okay. Find a way to make paper that doesn't stink. It's not like you're making catfish bait out of cabbage, goddammit. You're making paper out of wood. Paper doesn't stink, wood doesn't stink. You're doin' something to make it stink, fuckin' ''quit!'' ''(does a short dance at the mic)'' That's me dancing on my soapbox.
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Changed line(s) 21 (click to see context) from:
to:
* At the end of ''Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One for the Road,'' Ron, Creator/JeffFoxworthy, Creator/BillEngvall, and Creator/LarryTheCableGuy look through a scrapbook of embarrassing photos featuring them. One of which has Jeff in weird-looking glasses, while two barely-naked gay sailors are hugging each other in the background. Bill comments on the glasses, while Ron brings up the big elephant in the room.
-->'''Bill:''' [[AskAStupidQuestion What's with the glasses?]]
-->'''Ron:''' You look at ''that'' photo, and the ''glasses'' bother you? What about the two sailors in ass-less chaps, did you ever think about that, Bill?
-->'''Jeff:''' ''(laughing, to Bill)'' [[DumbassHasAPoint He's got a point!]]
-->'''Bill:''' [[AskAStupidQuestion What's with the glasses?]]
-->'''Ron:''' You look at ''that'' photo, and the ''glasses'' bother you? What about the two sailors in ass-less chaps, did you ever think about that, Bill?
-->'''Jeff:''' ''(laughing, to Bill)'' [[DumbassHasAPoint He's got a point!]]
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Changed line(s) 5 (click to see context) from:
--> "I wouldn't camp out for three days if I was ({{Beat}}) [[ShapedLikeItself camping]]."
to:
Changed line(s) 7 (click to see context) from:
--> "It's not that I think it's somehow more holy to eat meat that's been bludgeoned to death, that's not it. It's just that it's really early in the morning, it's really cold outside, and... I don't wanna fuckin' go."
to:
Changed line(s) 10 (click to see context) from:
--> "It's because of my work ethic. My grandfather used to say, 'That boy's got a lot of ''quit'' in 'im!' And that's true, too. What I didn't quit, I got kicked out of. I got kicked off the high school debate team for shouting "Yeah? Well, '''FUCK YOU!'''" I thought I'd won! [[ChewbaccaDefense The other guy was speechless.]]"
to:
Changed line(s) 12,14 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Ron:''' "Well, shoot him!"
-->'''Wife:''' "That's just like you, Ron. [[SkewedPriorities I have a genuine problem,]] and you're being sarcastic."
-->'''Ron:''' "Alright, Honey, I'm sorry... Put the dog on the phone, let me talk to him- What the hell do you want ME to do about it?! I'm in '''''DENVER!'''''"
-->'''Wife:''' "That's just like you, Ron. [[SkewedPriorities I have a genuine problem,]] and you're being sarcastic."
-->'''Ron:''' "Alright, Honey, I'm sorry... Put the dog on the phone, let me talk to him- What the hell do you want ME to do about it?! I'm in '''''DENVER!'''''"
to:
-->'''Ron:''' "Well, Well, shoot him!"
him!
-->'''Wife:'''"That's That's just like you, Ron. [[SkewedPriorities I have a genuine problem,]] and you're being sarcastic."
sarcastic.
-->'''Ron:'''"Alright, Alright, Honey, I'm sorry... Put the dog on the phone, let me talk to him- What him--What the hell do you want ME to do about it?! I'm in '''''DENVER!'''''"'''''DENVER!'''''
-->'''Wife:'''
-->'''Ron:'''
Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
--> "She's not rich at all. Her parents... are ''looooooad-eeeeed-aaaaah''. And they hate my ''guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuts''. And I'm waiting for them to ''diiiiiiiie''... And you'll know if they die, too, because you'll never see my fat ass again. I'll be in Palm Beach with all my ''new'' friends!"
to:
Changed line(s) 18 (click to see context) from:
-->"If the shoe was on the other foot, I wouldn't go 'Oh look, I'm spotting!' '''FUCK''' that; I'd be running down the street like my ''hair'' was on fire, screaming 'MY BALLS ARE BLEEDING, MY ''BALLS'' ARE BLEEDING!!'"
to:
Changed line(s) 20 (click to see context) from:
-->"They say that on a hot day when the wind's picking up, over 2 million people can smell this particular mill. That is a BIG... ODOR. If they were playing music and ''2 million people'' could hear it, they'd make 'em ''turn it the fuck off.''"
to:
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Added DiffLines:
* The bit about paper mills and the horrific stench they produce:
-->"They say that on a hot day when the wind's picking up, over 2 million people can smell this particular mill. That is a BIG... ODOR. If they were playing music and ''2 million people'' could hear it, they'd make 'em ''turn it the fuck off.''"
-->"They say that on a hot day when the wind's picking up, over 2 million people can smell this particular mill. That is a BIG... ODOR. If they were playing music and ''2 million people'' could hear it, they'd make 'em ''turn it the fuck off.''"
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Changed line(s) 11 (click to see context) from:
* Ron recounts one time when he was on tour, when his wife called him to complain about their dog pooping on the floor:
to:
* Ron recounts one time when he was on tour, when his wife called him to ''to complain about their dog pooping on the floor:floor'':
Changed line(s) 13,14 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Wife:''' "That's just like you, Ron. I have a genuine problem, and you're being sarcastic."
-->'''Ron:''' "Alright, Honey, I'm sorry... Put the dog on the phone, let me talk to him. What the hell do you want ME to do about it?! I'm in ''Denver!''"
-->'''Ron:''' "Alright, Honey, I'm sorry... Put the dog on the phone, let me talk to him. What the hell do you want ME to do about it?! I'm in ''Denver!''"
to:
-->'''Wife:''' "That's just like you, Ron. [[SkewedPriorities I have a genuine problem, problem,]] and you're being sarcastic."
-->'''Ron:''' "Alright, Honey, I'm sorry... Put the dog on the phone, let me talk tohim. him- What the hell do you want ME to do about it?! I'm in ''Denver!''"'''''DENVER!'''''"
-->'''Ron:''' "Alright, Honey, I'm sorry... Put the dog on the phone, let me talk to
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Changed line(s) 3 (click to see context) from:
* The whole bit about [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3rBBRIVYsc sitting in a bean bag chair naked eating cheetos]] is undoubtedly the funniest thing involving RobertTilton that doesn't include dubbed-in flatulence.
to:
* The whole bit about [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3rBBRIVYsc sitting in a bean bag chair naked eating cheetos]] is undoubtedly the funniest thing involving RobertTilton Creator/RobertTilton that doesn't include dubbed-in flatulence.
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Changed line(s) 10 (click to see context) from:
--> "It's because of my work ethic. My grandfather used to say, 'That boy's got a lot of ''quit'' in 'im!' And that's true, too. What I didn't quit, I got kicked out of. I got kicked out of. I got kicked off the high school debate team for shouting "Yeah? Well, '''FUCK YOU!'''" I thought I'd won! [[ChewbaccaDefense The other guy was speechless.]]"
to:
--> "It's because of my work ethic. My grandfather used to say, 'That boy's got a lot of ''quit'' in 'im!' And that's true, too. What I didn't quit, I got kicked out of. I got kicked out of. I got kicked off the high school debate team for shouting "Yeah? Well, '''FUCK YOU!'''" I thought I'd won! [[ChewbaccaDefense The other guy was speechless.]]"
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Changed line(s) 11 (click to see context) from:
* Bill recounts one time when he was on tour, when his wife called him to complain about their dog pooping on the floor:
to:
* Bill Ron recounts one time when he was on tour, when his wife called him to complain about their dog pooping on the floor:
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Changed line(s) 17,18 (click to see context) from:
* His bit about how amazed he is that women are so blasé about menstruating, when the thought of going through the same thing terrifies him:
-->"If the shoe was on the other foot, I wouldn't go 'Oh look, I'm spotting!' '''Fuck''' that; I'd be running down the street like my ''hair'' was on fire, screaming 'MY BALLS ARE BLEEDIN', MY ''BALLS'' ARE BLEEDIN'!!'"
-->"If the shoe was on the other foot, I wouldn't go 'Oh look, I'm spotting!' '''Fuck''' that; I'd be running down the street like my ''hair'' was on fire, screaming 'MY BALLS ARE BLEEDIN', MY ''BALLS'' ARE BLEEDIN'!!'"
to:
* His bit about how amazed he is that women are so blasé about menstruating, when the thought of going through the same thing terrifies him:
-->"If the shoe was on the other foot, I wouldn't go 'Oh look, I'm spotting!''''Fuck''' '''FUCK''' that; I'd be running down the street like my ''hair'' was on fire, screaming 'MY BALLS ARE BLEEDIN', BLEEDING, MY ''BALLS'' ARE BLEEDIN'!!'"BLEEDING!!'"
-->"If the shoe was on the other foot, I wouldn't go 'Oh look, I'm spotting!'
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Changed line(s) 11,12 (click to see context) from:
* Bill recounts one time when he was on tour, when his wife called him to complain about their dog pooping on the floor.
--> "Well, what do you want ME to do about it?! ''I'm in Denver!''"
--> "Well, what do you want ME to do about it?! ''I'm in Denver!''"
to:
* Bill recounts one time when he was on tour, when his wife called him to complain about their dog pooping on the floor.
-->floor:
-->'''Ron:''' "Well,what shoot him!"
-->'''Wife:''' "That's just like you, Ron. I have a genuine problem, and you're being sarcastic."
-->'''Ron:''' "Alright, Honey, I'm sorry... Put the dog on the phone, let me talk to him. What the hell do you want ME to do about it?!''I'm I'm in Denver!''"''Denver!''"
-->
-->'''Ron:''' "Well,
-->'''Wife:''' "That's just like you, Ron. I have a genuine problem, and you're being sarcastic."
-->'''Ron:''' "Alright, Honey, I'm sorry... Put the dog on the phone, let me talk to him. What the hell do you want ME to do about it?!
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* His bit about how amazed he is that women are so blasé about menstruating, when the thought of going through the same thing terrifies him:
-->"If the shoe was on the other foot, I wouldn't go 'Oh look, I'm spotting!' '''Fuck''' that; I'd be running down the street like my ''hair'' was on fire, screaming 'MY BALLS ARE BLEEDIN', MY ''BALLS'' ARE BLEEDIN'!!'"
-->"If the shoe was on the other foot, I wouldn't go 'Oh look, I'm spotting!' '''Fuck''' that; I'd be running down the street like my ''hair'' was on fire, screaming 'MY BALLS ARE BLEEDIN', MY ''BALLS'' ARE BLEEDIN'!!'"
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Changed line(s) 9,10 (click to see context) from:
* Talking about his lack of commitment to things:
--> "What I didn't quit, I got kicked out of. I got kicked out of. I got kicked off the high school debate team for shouting "Yeah? Well, '''FUCK YOU!'''" I thought I'd won! [[ChewbaccaDefense The other guy was speechless.]]"
--> "What I didn't quit, I got kicked out of. I got kicked out of. I got kicked off the high school debate team for shouting "Yeah? Well, '''FUCK YOU!'''" I thought I'd won! [[ChewbaccaDefense The other guy was speechless.]]"
to:
* Talking about his lack of commitment to things:
why he wasn't in ''Blue Collar TV'':
-->"What "It's because of my work ethic. My grandfather used to say, 'That boy's got a lot of ''quit'' in 'im!' And that's true, too. What I didn't quit, I got kicked out of. I got kicked out of. I got kicked off the high school debate team for shouting "Yeah? Well, '''FUCK YOU!'''" I thought I'd won! [[ChewbaccaDefense The other guy was speechless.]]"
-->
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* Talking about his first wife's family:
--> "She's not rich at all. Her parents... are ''looooooad-eeeeed-aaaaah''. And they hate my ''guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuts''. And I'm waiting for them to ''diiiiiiiie''... And you'll know if they die, too, because you'll never see my fat ass again. I'll be in Palm Beach with all my ''new'' friends!"
--> "She's not rich at all. Her parents... are ''looooooad-eeeeed-aaaaah''. And they hate my ''guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuts''. And I'm waiting for them to ''diiiiiiiie''... And you'll know if they die, too, because you'll never see my fat ass again. I'll be in Palm Beach with all my ''new'' friends!"
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Added DiffLines:
* Bill recounts one time when he was on tour, when his wife called him to complain about their dog pooping on the floor.
--> "Well, what do you want ME to do about it?! ''I'm in Denver!''"
--> "Well, what do you want ME to do about it?! ''I'm in Denver!''"
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Added DiffLines:
* Talking about his lack of commitment to things:
--> "What I didn't quit, I got kicked out of. I got kicked out of. I got kicked off the high school debate team for shouting "Yeah? Well, '''FUCK YOU!'''" I thought I'd won! [[ChewbaccaDefense The other guy was speechless.]]"
--> "What I didn't quit, I got kicked out of. I got kicked out of. I got kicked off the high school debate team for shouting "Yeah? Well, '''FUCK YOU!'''" I thought I'd won! [[ChewbaccaDefense The other guy was speechless.]]"
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Changed line(s) 4 (click to see context) from:
* The bit about waiting in line for GarthBrooks tickets:
to:
* The bit about waiting in line for GarthBrooks Music/GarthBrooks tickets:
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add
Changed line(s) 2 (click to see context) from:
* In one skit, he suggests that the Ayatollah be replaced with "that guy they kicked out of Music/TheOakRidgeBoys" and call him "Ayatollah Oom Papa Mow Mow".
to:
* In one skit, he suggests that the Ayatollah be replaced with "that guy "[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Lee_Golden that guy]] they kicked out of Music/TheOakRidgeBoys" and call him "Ayatollah Oom Papa Mow Mow".
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Changed line(s) 7 (click to see context) from:
--> "It's really early in the morning, it's really cold outside, and I don't wanna go."
to:
--> "It's not that I think it's somehow more holy to eat meat that's been bludgeoned to death, that's not it. It's just that it's really early in the morning, it's really cold outside, and and... I don't wanna fuckin' go."
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Changed line(s) 3 (click to see context) from:
* The whole bit about [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3rBBRIVYsc sitting in a bean bag chair naked eating cheetos]] is undoubtedly the funniest thing involving Robert Tilton that doesn't include dubbed-in flatulence.
to:
* The whole bit about [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3rBBRIVYsc sitting in a bean bag chair naked eating cheetos]] is undoubtedly the funniest thing involving Robert Tilton RobertTilton that doesn't include dubbed-in flatulence.
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Changed line(s) 5 (click to see context) from:
--> "I wouldn't camp out for three days if I was ({{Beat}}) camping.
to:
--> "I wouldn't camp out for three days if I was ({{Beat}}) camping.[[ShapedLikeItself camping]]."
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Added DiffLines:
* In one skit, he says that he discovered there's a place called Bumfuck, Egypt, "and the only way to get there is to go up Shit Creek."
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Changed line(s) 5 (click to see context) from:
-> "I wouldn't camp out for three days if I was ({{Beat}}) camping.
to:
Changed line(s) 7 (click to see context) from:
-> "It's really early in the morning, it's really cold outside, and I don't wanna go."
to:
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Changed line(s) 3 (click to see context) from:
* The whole bit about [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3rBBRIVYsc sitting in a bean bag chair naked eating cheetos.]]
to:
* The whole bit about [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3rBBRIVYsc sitting in a bean bag chair naked eating cheetos.]]cheetos]] is undoubtedly the funniest thing involving Robert Tilton that doesn't include dubbed-in flatulence.
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Added DiffLines:
* The bit about waiting in line for GarthBrooks tickets:
-> "I wouldn't camp out for three days if I was ({{Beat}}) camping.
* His explanation for why he doesn't hunt:
-> "It's really early in the morning, it's really cold outside, and I don't wanna go."
-> "I wouldn't camp out for three days if I was ({{Beat}}) camping.
* His explanation for why he doesn't hunt:
-> "It's really early in the morning, it's really cold outside, and I don't wanna go."
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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
* The Tater Salad story
to:
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pTlCtUMvjs The Tater Salad storystory.]]
Changed line(s) 3 (click to see context) from:
* The whole bit about [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3rBBRIVYsc sitting in a bean bag chair naked eating cheetos]].
to:
* The whole bit about [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3rBBRIVYsc sitting in a bean bag chair naked eating cheetos]].cheetos.]]
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Added DiffLines:
* The whole bit about [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3rBBRIVYsc sitting in a bean bag chair naked eating cheetos]].
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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
* The Tater Salad story
to:
* The Tater Salad storystory
* In one skit, he suggests that the Ayatollah be replaced with "that guy they kicked out of Music/TheOakRidgeBoys" and call him "Ayatollah Oom Papa Mow Mow".
----
* In one skit, he suggests that the Ayatollah be replaced with "that guy they kicked out of Music/TheOakRidgeBoys" and call him "Ayatollah Oom Papa Mow Mow".
----