History Funny / QI

* Rhod Gilbert mistaking Norway for Denmark (prompting Sandi to claim that is like saying the Scottish and the Welsh are the same) and then repeatedly claiming that Denmark only gets three hours of daylight in winter.
-->'''Alan''': ''(about their latitude)'' Denmark's the same as Scotland, where you're from!

* The parlor games in Noel.

** "Are You There, Moriarty?" in Noel consists of one blindfolded person grasping the hand of another blindfolded person, calling out "Are you there, Moriarty?" and then beating them around the head with a rolled-up newspaper. Alan starts beating up poor Josh as soon as Sandi explains the rules.

** KLAXON**

* In the "CallMyBluff" round in "Gallimaufrey," Phill announces that he's going to do his "in the style of the usual customary [[ClassicallyTrainedExtra out-of-work actor]] they used to have on ''Call My Bluff'', who would then [[ChewingTheScenery really lean into his definition]] in an effort to [[MoneyDearBoy beg for work]]."
-->IMAGINE IF YOU WILL... a lone figure walking across Hampstead Heath, the sun GLINT-ing off his very eyes. For! He is making his way back from an evening at the INN, where he has partaken of mead, and other... [[FascinatingEyebrow lascivious beverages]]. ADORNING THE CHIN OF SAID STOUT FELLOW... are pimples! For! They betray his excesses, and these, at the time, were known... as... ''[looks straight into the camera]'' Marty Fitch, 01-287-469, available for panto... ''[looks back at the panel]'' '''[[MundaneMadeAwesome grog blossom]]'''.
** Also from the XL version of "Gallimaufrey", the discussion of various unusual alarm clocks, such as one that donates money to a political cause you hate each time you press the snooze button or one that runs off and hides when you press the snooze button.

* The extended gag in "Groovy," with [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-nTSAuokRs Alan Davies and Bill Bailey pretending to be the horribly malformed hidden Osmond brother]] who writes all their songs, ending with Bill glomping onto Creator/DavidTennant and chewing on his boutonniere.[[note]]Unfortunately becomes somewhat FunnyAneurysmMoment when you learn that the Osmonds really do have two mentally ill brothers who live outside of the public eye.[[/note]]

** In the same episode, it was suggested that Creator/DavidTennant knew so much from all his [[Series/DoctorWho time traveling]]:

* From the 6th episode of the G series "Genius", the surreal digression prompted by Alan Davies' observation that a man in a Renaissance painting of the death of da Vinci bears an uncanny resemblance to 1970s British actor [[Series/WhateverHappenedToTheLikelyLads Rodney Bewes]].
-->'''Dara Ó Briain''': So, Rodney Bewes is the Franchise/{{Highlander}}?
-->'''Creator/{{David Mitchell|Actor}}''': What a weird, unsettling thing to discover that would be. In the context of the credit crunch and everything, suddenly to discover that Rodney Bewes was immortal... I mean, can you imagine on the news them going [serious voice] "And today it emerged that actor Rodney Bewes has been alive for as long as time"?

* From the "Groovy" episode, Bill Bailey suggesting the word 'cool' originated with "jazz Nazis."
-->'''Bill Bailey''': ''[German accent]'' "Zees new uniforms are ''cool''!"\\
'''Alan Davies''': ''[German accent]'' "I joined ze Nazi party. Zey're cool, daddy-o! And bezides, I had no choice."\\
'''Bill Bailey''': "I burnt down ze Reichstag." "Cool!"
* From the episode on Germany...
-->'''Stephen Fry''': What happens on November 11th in Germany?\\
'''Alan Davies''': ''[German accent]'' Everything proceeds as normal.

* The "Gardens" episode features a discussion of bees and feeding them honey to help them get better, which is followed up by Alan accusing Dara Ó Briain of being a murderer after he says his normal reaction is to just kill them, which is then itself followed by a discussion about feeding bees more honey than they make in a lifetime, which ends with them talking about killing bees ironically by ''drowning'' them in honey.
-->'''Dara Ó Briain:''' This is more honey than this bee has ever before seen in its ''life''!!\\

* In the XL version of Gardens, reciting the "I'm a little teapot" rhyme, only to realise, in mid-flow, "Oh bugger, I'm a sugar bowl."[[labelnote:*]](Neither of his arms was in the correct position for "spout". Long-term viewers of such children's fare as ''Lamb-Chop's Playalong'' may recall the gag was used there as well.)[[/labelnote]]
** Alternatively it may be a reference to the fact that sugar bowl pie is gay slang for analingus?

* In the episode "Germany", Rob Brydon keeps going on and on and on about his new, long socks. He [[ShowSomeLeg shows them off]], waxes poetic about the feeling of security he gets from them, even draws the audience in on it. The rest of the panel mocks him ''mercilessly'' for this.
-->'''Rob Brydon''': They laughed at Edison, you know, they--\\
'''Stephen Fry''': They laughed at a lot of weirdos as well, though, Rob. ''[beat]'' You know, they ''did!'' I was just saying...
** And then eventually a picture of Hitler appears on the screen, ''wearing long socks.''
--->'''Rob''': Say what you want about the man... But nice socks.
* Stephen attempting to provoke David Mitchell with a double bluff in the Series G episode "Geometry." David stayed calm. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cg1a5QlCdYo Johnny Vegas, on the other hand...]]
-->'''Johnny''': ''[upon hearing that the columns on the Parthenon look straight because they are]'' That's not a question! "Why does this man look thin? Because he is." ... This is why I struggled in school! "If a train travels at 40 miles an hour and leaves at 9 o'clock and arrives in Glasgow at 12 o'clock, how did it get there?" And you're going, "'Cause it did!"... ''[holds up his notebook with a squiggly line drawn on it]'' "Why does that look straight?" "Because it's not!" That could have been a question. ''[draws a straight line]'' "Why does that look straight? Because it IS!" ''[breaks down sobbing]'' Because it is...

** After Jonny's response about playing in God by water-skiing down the International Date Line:
--->'''Rob:''' I wouldn't be surprised now if my parents came in and had a quiet word with you and asked if Jonny could be taken to another class because they feel that Rob isn't learning.
* During the Groovy episode, Stephen explains that "groovy" may also have had sexual connotations for the "lady bits".
-->'''David Tennant''': Ooh hello...
* From the G series: when [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXKoBpG19bI Alan is given a saw]]. First, he attempts to saw a notebook, then a QI cheat card, then his desk - and ''succeeds''. And then he attempts the ''plastic trees''.
-->'''Creator/{{David Mitchell|Actor}}:''' I ''really'' wish they hadn't made this set out of asbestos.

*** Stephen gets in on the fun, as well:
---->'''Stephen:''' Of course, you never knew Hitler, did you?

* In "Germany", several of the '[[Series/FawltyTowers Don't mention the war]]' moments are pretty funny. In one, Sean Lock says that the Germans simply walked into Holland whenever they wanted. When he hears the klaxon, he says that he didn't mention the war: "I was talking about the Great Geschmertznift of 1762 when they just walked into Holland." Also this one:
-->'''Stephen:''' ...the Hollanders were at war with Britain many times...\\

'''Sean (pointing at Jo):''' But ''you'' did.\\

* In the series opener, "Hodge Podge", Alan [[spoiler: got the klaxon for his buzzer ''again'', putting him at -10 before the first question of the series was asked.]]
* In the episode "Hocus Pocus", the buzzers were magic words - Creator/DanielRadcliffe, of course, got, "''[[Franchise/HarryPotter Expelliarmus!]]''"
** From the same episode, there's [[SustainedMisunderstanding Lee Mack's confusion]] over the "[[http://youtu.be/duqlZXiIZqA I before E except after C]]" rule, in particular his constant suggestion of "ceiling."
*** And Stephen's response to it: [[BerserkButton "Are you incapable of rational thought?!"]]

* In "H-Anatomy", Alan Davies tying a wire around the arm of the skeletons behind Fry, and proceeding to wait until all eyes are on Stephen to slowly inch the arm towards him...
-->'''Stephen:''' Ah, I have been goosed by the palm of a skeleton.
-->'''Alan:''' I've been sitting here for ten minutes thinking "when should I do it, when should I do it?"

* From the XL version of "Hoaxes", Sean Lock and David Mitchell's discussion on whether or not NASA was responsible for the death of Michael Jackson. Their conclusion? [[spoiler: Not NASA, no. ''Buzz Aldrin''.]]

* In "Hypnosis, Hallucinations & Hysteria", Stephen brings out a live lobster from under his desk, demonstrates how to hypnotize it (you stroke its back), and then expects it to wake up when he lifts it off of the desk... except it doesn't wake up. So he stuffs it quietly underneath his desk and pretends it never happened.
-->"Well. Dinner's sorted..."

* From "I-Spy", in a discussion about how aye-ayes are so ugly they don't want to mate with each other, but they live in the dark:
-->'''Lee Mack''': That's how Jimmy mates.
-->'''Jimmy Carr''': I can't believe your wife told you that story.

** in International, Bill Bailey jokes about using his "Nobody Knows" card when the subject of the scoring system comes up. Funny by itself, but a minute later Stephen checks the scores and announces Bill has 3 points (note that was before any questions had been asked) while everyone else is at 0.

** Stephen's giant fake mustache - and the comment that it'll probably have its own website soon - and the weird gadgets men used to use for them.
*** And then [[http://stephenfrysmustache.tumblr.com/ it did]].

* A hesitant display of [[GenreSavvy Genre Savviness]] in "Imbroglio":
-->'''Stephen''': What do the signal bars on your phone mean?
-->'''Alan''' [''hesitantly'']: Well... it means... how much signal you can...
-->'''Stephen''': Don't be scared...
-->'''Sean Lock''': It means... um... well... how well the speaker... in the sky... and it comes through... and all gone...
-->'''Stephen''': I need it in English, I'm afraid, in order to give you points...
-->'''Sean''': Talkie -- talkie power all gone away! Sky no fly down in ear -- hair -- ear!
-->'''Alan''': Big bird in sky -- you're either connected...

* From "Invertebrates", Alan's reaction to learning about 'worm charming', and the fact that at a recent worm-charming festival there were [[EpicFail no worms found by anyone]]:
-->'''Alan''': At least when you go trainspotting, there are trains!
-->'''Johnny Vegas''': The trainspotters are over a hill, shouting "GET A LIFE!"
** In the same episode, we get to see Stephen, Alan, and Johnny Vegas all eat candy-covered insects with varying results of disgust and distress.
*** With Johnny Vegas claiming (a la Franchise/SpiderMan) that eating a scorpion gave him the superpower of... being able to do a forward roll.
* The entire discussion from the Incomprehensible episode about [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5r_TlPwZOvU throwing Ewoks into lakes of methane]].

* On the Illness episode, Jo Brand attempted to answer every question with an insult to Creator/MichaelWinner. After about four questions, the phrase "Michael Winner" set off the klaxon.

-->'''Stephen''': Now, I'm feeling extremely '''angry'''! What should I do?
-->'''Alan''': "Calm down, dear!"
** From the same episode, the response to Ben Goldacre's discussion of how pharmaceutical companies pushed discussions of female sexual dysfunction, choosing to bring up the phrase: "Clitoral blood flow imaging."
-->'''Alan''': I think that might have been the most disgusting thing I've ever heard. "Clitoral blood flow imaging...?"
-->'''Stephen''': [[AGoodNameforaRockBand "...dot com?"]]

* From "The Immortal Bard", Sue Perkins' reaction upon being told ''WesternAnimation/TheLionKing1994'' was based on Theatre/{{Hamlet}}:
-->'''Sue:''' At which point does Hamlet say "Hakuna Matata"?!

* From "Jargon", Victoria Coren reveals she had a nightmare about her first appearance on the show, where Stephen asks "Why was the March Hare so important to the Aztecs?" and she got the klaxon on "Worship It." What was the last question on the show? You guessed it. And did Victoria set off the klaxon? Of course she did. (The words were misaligned, indicating it had been hurriedly typed in. Hopefully, she didn't get docked actual points, since it wasn't a real question, though she won the game in any case.)

* From "Jam, Jelly and Juice", when Stephen tells the team to eat miracle berry, his instructions become a veritable innuendo storm:
-->'''Stephen''': Don't swallow it. Roll it around your tongue. Try and do a bit of action on it. Spread it all over your tongue. Don't swallow it. I want it to cover all of your tongue. It does something extraordinary to your tongue.
-->'''Alan''': I must remember this speech.

* In 'J-Places', Music/BillBailey using the same twiddling-his-fingers impression to represent a wide range of activities as a RunningGag.

* In "Jungles", GenreSavvy Alan managed to trick Greg Proops into a penalty.
-->'''Stephen''': What would be the best way for Tarzan to get around the jungle?
-->'''Alan''': He gets around by swinging... what does he swing on, Greg?
-->'''Greg''': Vines?
--> ''[klaxon]''

* In "Jumpers", when a conversation about loo rolls has somehow, ''somehow'' managed to find its way to the idea of the seats being outfitted to double as sex toys:
-->'''Stephen''': I have to tell you that the little baby Jesus, whom I have never believed in until this minute, has told me to change the subject.

* In "Justice," Brian Cox used his buzzer to great effect in the discussion [[ItMakesSenseInContext about the size of Alan's penis]]. [[spoiler: All rise!]]

* "Knits and Knots" brings us [[https://youtu.be/Fp266vZy59s Ross Noble and Alan Davies trying to separate cuffs]], complete with inadvertent GroinAttack.
-->'''Sue Perkins''': I think technically you're now married.

* L-animals: Ross Noble mimes dolphins making noises with a conch shell in a slightly suggestive manner, one thing leads to another, and the whole group is miming pleasuring a sperm whale penis. Culminating in "She's gonna blow!" with the expected look on Stephen's face.

* Location, Location, Location: when the panelists are given a plate of what looks like wasabi and asked to identify it, Stephen tells them that is isn't wasabi and Johnny Vegas proceeds to eat a big spoonful of it... only for Stephen to continue explaining it's the British ''equivalent'' of wasabi. By the end of Johnny's resulting rant, he claims to have obtained superpowers.
-->'''Johnny:''' I'm seein' through walls!

* Literature: The panelists are given a bunch of unfinished limericks by Edward Lear. HilarityEnsues, both from their made-up endings to the limericks and from their reactions to the actual endings.

* Liblabble: A question of the most depressing radio broadcast leads to a discussion on Simon Bates' ''Our Tune''.
-->'''Stephen''': ''(Imitating Simon Bates)'' But surely, that's the story of people who fell in love. She ''did'' die of the cancer, but-\\

* Lethal: The panelists are discussing the Ventouse method of assisted birth when an audience member shouts "[[IncrediblyLamePun Inconceivable!]]"
-->'''Alan''': [[LamePunReaction Right. You]], ''[[GetOut out]]!''

-->'''Stephen''': Why do people fall over when they've been shot?[[note]]Because media has trained them to[[/note]]
-->'''Jason''': [[AskAStupidQuestion Because they've]] [[ShapedLikeItself been shot]]. ''(Klaxon)''

* Ladies and Gents: Ross Noble doing a perfect impersonation of Creator/BrianBlessed [[ItMakesSenseInContext catching an unnameable disease off a toilet]].
-->'''Ross:''' MY SOFT ENTRANCE HAS BEEN VIOLATED!\\

-->'''Sue:''' Uh... [[spoiler: *%$#]]? ''(Klaxon)'' In for a penny. [[spoiler: *%$#]]! [[spoiler: *%$#]]! [[spoiler: *%$#]]! [[spoiler: *%$#]]! [[spoiler: *%$#]]! [[spoiler: *%$#]]! [[spoiler: *%$#]]! [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Knobgobbler]]!
* Lying: Stephen asks the panelists to name a blue sea creature. Alan ''dives'' for the buzzer but is beat out by Jack Whitehall, who defers to the guy who's been shouting answers from the audience for the past few questions. "Shouty Man" picks the blue whale, which is correct.
** Shouty Man then goes on to actually get a score alongside the panelists at the end: -39, last place.

* Military Matters: Jeremy Clarkson takes umbrage over being corrected on an answer he'd given ''eleven years'' ago.

* Naming Names: Alan successfully avoids the trick with the question "What caused the first mass extinction?" The dinosaur extinction was ''not'' the first.
-->'''Phill:''' After fourteen years, he understands the format.

** Sandi seeking out and asking the name of the ''specific'' audience member who tripped the klaxon by shouting "Spongebob Squarepants" in response to asking who has green sponge balls.
*** The audience lost 10 points for that answer and still came in ahead of Alan, who finished at -25.

* "Ology" starts off Sandi's second series with one of the most epic cases of OffTheRails ever. Sandi attempts to explain the hypothetical maximum speed of a sailboat, only to realize the prop's broken and tries to start over. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiNVeqjCbIw What follows must be seen to be believed]].

* "Oceans" continues David Mitchell's feud with the klaxon. After a clip of a shark is shown with Film/{{Jaws}} music, the question is asked:
-->'''Sandi:''' What's the scariest thing about that clip?\\

''(Klaxon: "[[{{Troll}} WR]][[TheTapeKnewYoudSayThat ONG]]")''

* "P-Animals":
** [[https://youtu.be/aHv2lJCyeL0 Teri Hatcher]] shamelessly winding up Phill with double-entendres, when the panelists are asked to identify fossils without using their hands.[[note]]Pieces of bone are porous and stick to the tongue, even after fossilization, so there was really [[NotWhatItLooksLike no other way that segment was going to go]].[[/note]]

-->'''Lee:''' Trust me.\\

-->'''Jason:''' Where's the bad language in ''Paddington''?!\\

-->'''Gyles''': The younger people won't know who she was, she was a television chef, a sort of interesting cross between [[Series/TheGreatBritishBakeOff Mary Berry]] and [[Series/TopGear Jeremy Clarkson]].\\

* "Parts":
** One challenge has the panelists trying to gauge the shape and size of some holes in pieces of plastic, while blindfolded. The best way to do this turns out to be using the tongue, and it isn't long before the innuendos start.

* "Pubs":
** Alan pretending to beat up [[ItMakesSenseInContext the man dressed as a giant chicken]] from the challenge earlier [[SoundtrackDissonance while everyone else is singing "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"]].
* "Potpourri":
** The panelists are given cardboard periscopes as part of the first challenge, and Alan and Phill spend the next 5 minutes acting like, in Sandi's words, two five-year-old boys, hiding under their desks and looking up with the periscopes, pretending to walk up and down some stairs, and yelling that they can see each other.
* "Procrastination":
** Sandi asks Alan to put on an oddly-designed hat, then has the panelists guess its purpose.
--->'''Holly Walsh''': Is it a contraceptive?
--->'''Sandi''': It's exactly the reverse of a contraceptive...
--->'''Aisling Bea''': It's an erection hat?
--->'''Sandi''': It is kind of an erection hat.[[note]]It's used to collect bird semen for captive-breeding programs.[[/note]]
--->'''Alan''': [[TooMuchInformation It's not working.]]

* "Revolutions"
** Gyles' anecdotes, yet again, due to how he's seemingly related to ''everybody'' that was mentioned that episode.
--->'''Jessica Fostekew:''' [[LampshadeHanging It’s not so much a family tree as a family]] [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] [[LampshadeHanging forest!!]]
*** One family relation is actually brought up by Sandi, that being Jeremiah Brandreth, the last person in Britain to be beheaded for treason, with an illustration of his head being shown onscreen. [[GallowsHumor They then show a photoshopped version of the image with Gyles' eyes and mouth on it]].

*** The QI official Youtube channel even got in on the fun, and released [[https://www.youtube.com/post/UgytXVUcr0dHfp4XIJZ4AaABCQ this]] "Gyles Brandreth Anecdote Generator" on the same day the episode dropped.

*** The real answer is apparently Sergei Rachmaninoff, who could play piano chords spanning an octave and a half, one-handed.[[note]]For those of us who aren't piano-literate: them's some big paws.[[/note]] Sandi takes [[HappyDance great pleasure]] in getting half the panel to answer "Rasputin" and get the klaxon.

-->'''Lee:''' It has to be the antibacterial.\\

*** The record Gyles then speaks about is for longest on-screen kiss, which he attempted twice on breakfast television. The first failed because about two minutes in, they had to cut to coverage of Leonid Brezhnev's funeral and it felt inappropriate.[[note]] This record was later re-visited when Gyles appeared on ''Series/WouldILieToYou''; his team's "This is My" guest was former Bucks Fizz singer Cheryl Baker, who was the other participant in Gyles' second, successful attempt to break the record for longest on-screen kiss. She revealed that he had coffee breath at the time![[/note]]

--->'''Ed''': [[TrueArtIsIncomprehensible Mine is a satirical piece about climate change]].\\

** Lou's sandcastle is little more than all the sand to one side of the tray. Sandi immediately calls her's the best when she plants her shovel into it.

** Sindhu's mother once bought a bikini she found beautiful, but was worried it was too immodest or could even cause her husband a heart attack, so she only ever wore it inside the house.

* "Quests Part I": The [[LatinLover dating profile]] of Romeo, the endangered Bolivian frog.

* "Quests Part II": Joe Lycett objects to the klaxon, but not for the reasons you'd think.
-->'''Joe:''' Can I just say, I've watched this show loads, and I've always hated that font."\\

"Sick":
* The panel gets into a discussion on whether or not "agoraphobia" is pronounced "a-GOR-aphobia" (Sandi and the elves) or "AG-raphobia" (everyone else). A few minutes later, they're asked which soap cleans you up the best.

"Secrets, Spies and Sleuths":
* Daliso (whose father worked for the UNHCR, and later for the Malawian government) once had to meet with a spy at a Wetherspoons pub.
-->'''James Acaster:''' Was it 'Shaken, Not Stirred Saturdays'?
* Sandi imitating Creator/SeanConnery while serving the panel ''stirred'' martinis.
-->'''Sandi:''' Martinis are better shtirred than shaken, and underpants are better shilk than shatin.
"Sideshows, Stunts & Scavenger Hunts":
* Gyles Brandeth is on the panel, which means more anecdotes. The looks on Sandi's face whenever this happens as the show progresses get more and more hilarious.
** Gyles demonstrates how you can't lift your hand off your head with your other hand, which amazes Rosie Jones.
--> '''Rosie''': Someone told you that when you were two...
--> '''Gyles''': Yes.
--> '''Rosie''': ...and you remembered it?
--> '''Gyles''': Yes.
--> '''Rosie''': How?!
--> '''Giles''': I treasured it.
--> '''Rosie''': I don't--
--> '''Sandi''': Never ask Gyles a follow-up question.
** Gyles then quickly names the first professional male bodybuilder because he was Gyles' great-uncle's godfather.
---> '''Nish Kumar''': Gyles, I've wanted to ask you this for a long time, and I want you to give me a straight answer: Are you, quite literally, Forrest Gump?
** Gyles talks about how he had to go to the bathroom during his record-breaking continuous speeches.
--> '''Sandi''': You know, it's very funny, they said "See if Gyles can be persuaded to reminisce", [[GoneHorriblyRight and you were]].
** Trying to get to the next record, Gyles [[SchmuckBait asks if any of his other records will be questions.]]
--> '''Sandi''': No, darling, what are your other records?
--> '''Gyles''': Oh, well...
--> '''Sandi''': ''(realizing it)'' [[OhCrap Oh, I can't believe I asked you that!]] (FacePalm)
** The record Gyles then speaks about is for longest on-screen kiss, which he attempted twice on breakfast television. The first failed because about two minutes in, they had to cut to coverage of Leonid Breshnev's funeral and it felt inappropriate.
** Alan says he recently cut the umbilical cord for one of his children, which triggers Giles explaining how Creator/BrianBlessed managed to help a woman in labor give birth and that he bit through the umbilical cord.
** Sandi tries to talk about Lieutenant Commander Martin-Dunbar Naismith, but when Gyles tries to interrupt, she shouts "Not your godfather!" [[note]] Actually, Giles says that he lives where Naismith was born. [[/note]]
--> '''Nish''': I feel like we've really breezed past the fact that this whole show has turned into a posh white version of ''Film/SlumdogMillionaire''.
--> '''Sandi''': There's the film they should have made!
--> '''Alan''': A film called ''Posh White Millionaire''.
* Rosie (who has cerebral palsy and talks slow) says she can break the record for longest speech by just saying four sentences.
* Nish explains how while touring with Rosie in 2018-19, he would have a meal too close to the show and break wind in the dressing rooms, which would frequently annoy her. Rosie chimes in, "You could not imagine the stench!"
* Rosie's excitement when she answers "Where are ponchos from?" (Peru) in General Ignorance saying it's the greatest moment of her life.
--> '''Nish''': She's got a few follow-up questions on how you knew it!
"Smörgåsbord":
* The panel has a prolonged chat about food that Creator/JimmyCarr decides to order takeout and have it delivered to the studio while they are still recording. The food only arrives just as they are wrapping up the episode because the courier got confused about directions to the studio.

"Sexed-Up":
* The panellists' buzzers are very much in keeping with the episode's theme. Suzi Ruffell's plays "Let's Get It On," Sara Pascoe's plays "You Sexy Thing," Ahir Shah's plays "Sex Bomb," and Alan's plays... [[ButtMonkey "All By Myself."]] For [[OverlyLongGag way too long.]]
-->'''Alan''': Yes, all right!

-->'''Alan''': After several months of lockdown, in a family of five with a dog, [being all by himself] is just a fantasy.
* Sandi and Ahir try to have a conversation in different languages, one Danish and the other Indian.

* On the subject of potatoes:
-->'''Sandi''': Why would your mother-in-law give you one of these? ''(screen shows a handfull of extremely knobbly potatoes)''\\

** When Ahir guesses (correctly) that they're used as a test of one's peeling skills:
--->'''Alan''': Those have got [[CuttingTheKnot "skin-on fries"]] written all over them.
** The discussion migrates to instant potatoes, and then to instant tea packets:
--->'''Ahir''': These teabags take too long! [[TheEighties I've got cocaine to do and industry to privatise!]]
* The question "Who couldn't perform without an audience?" leads to everyone trading horror stories about their worst-attended comedy gigs.

"Sun Sea and Sandi":
* All four panelists are given a tray of sand to create sandcastles.
-->'''Ed''': [[TrueArtIsIncomprehensible Mine is a satirical piece about climate change]].
-->'''Sandi''': Yes, it looks like a [[FakeBoobs breast implant]].
-->'''Ed''': It's also a breast implant.

* Sandi shows the panel what grains of sand look like under a microscope and comments on how unique and beautiful they are. Then, as if it were a huge revelation, Lou chimes in with her take.
-->'''Lou:''' Nature ''is'' quite good in the end.
* Sindhu's mother once bought a bikini she found beautiful, but was worried it was too immodest or could even cause her husband a heart attack, so she only ever wore it inside the house.

* Episode 8 - Anstötande (Offensive)
** Anders' buzzer. After the previous three were disgusting bodily functions...

--> '''Johan:''' ''(about the deadliest creature that ever existed)'' It's the bacteria Methanosarcina. Methanosarcina released so much methane that it may have caused the greatest disaster in human history. It was called the "Great Death" and happened 250 million years ago. 90% of all species died as methane is a greenhouse gas half of all oxygen disappeared in the process.
--> '''Anders:''' But the 10% that were left had tons of fun!
--> '''Buzzer:''' Sex bomb, sex bomb, you're my sex bomb...

--> '''Suzanna:''' Something completely worthless.
--> '''Anders:''' Why would that make him famous? "Look, I found something completely worthless!"

--> '''Anders:''' "We're having a great time; one of my granddads has malaria and the other's dead, so..."

--> '''Karin:''' But he's a bit embarrassed over it, you can see that.
--> ''[...]''
--> '''Anders:''' ''(about what the conman did with his money)'' He bought rouge with it!
* Episode 6 - Blandat (Mixed)
** The whole discussion about [[ItMakesSenseInContext burning libraries]].

** After Gyles finishes telling a story about eating fish pie that had people in it, we cut to Sandi in StunnedSilence with a "Really, what am I supposed to say to that?" expression.

* The moonwalking [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAySycTIau0 manakin bird]]. The backwards walk is already funny, but it's when it moves sideways back into view that really makes the clip.

** The best part is that if you look closely, you can notice the camerawork gets a little shaky at points because the operator is clearly laughing too hard.

"Sun Sea and Sandi"

'''David''': '''''[[RantInducingSlight IT'S CRUEL!]] IT'S SO CRUEL!''''' ''[turning to Stephen]'' It's just the technique of the bully! You ''hit'' us, then you go, "Oh, what, did you think I was going to hit you? [[FalseReassurance No I'm not going to hit you, no]]. This is my hand...to ''stroke you''." And we're here going ''[whimpering]'' '''''"Aahh! Aaaahhh! He's stroking me!!!"'''''

-->'''Johnny''': ''[upon hearing that the columns on the Parthenon look straight because they are]'' [[RantInducingSlight That's not a question!]] "Why does this man look thin? Because he is." ... This is why I struggled in school! "If a train travels at 40 miles an hour and leaves at 9 o'clock and arrives in Glasgow at 12 o'clock, how did it get there?" And you're going, "'Cause it did!"... ''[holds up his notebook with a squiggly line drawn on it]'' "Why does that look straight?" "Because it's not!" That could have been a question. ''[draws a straight line]'' "Why does that look straight? Because it IS!" ''[breaks down sobbing]'' Because it is...

—->'''Bridget:''' I’m sorry, have you not been mocking me all evening?
-->'''Alan:''' I haven’t been mocking you: I’ve been sympathetic.

** Bridget Christie off-handedly mentions that she suffers from trypophobia (fear of clustered holes). It’s discussed for a few seconds then it’s quickly forgotten about until it coincidently becomes relevant again about twenty minutes later. While Sandi is telling the panel that anything produced by bees is not considered vegan, the picture on the screen is a honeycomb.
Bridget lets out a distressed “Oh, God!” and covers her eyes. There’s a beat as everyone else tries to figure out the issue and they start killing themselves laughing at the coincidence.

* Lenses: Stephen explains that Vincent Van Gogh sold tons of paintings in his lifetime--it's just that [[ExactWords most of them weren't his]]. The absolute ''resignation'' in Alan's "Oh, shut up" is a reminder of just how long he's been doing this show.

* Sandy imitating Creator/SeanConnery while serving the panel ''stirred'' martinis.

** Alan says he recently cut the umbilical cord for one of his children, which triggers Giles explaining how BRIAN BLESSED managed to help a woman in labor give birth and that he bit through the umbilical cord.

--> '''Nish''': I feel like we've really breezed past the fact that this whole show has turned into a posh white version of ''Slumdog Millionaire''.

* The panel has a prolonged chat about food that Jimmy Carr decides to order takeout and have it delivered to the studio while they are still recording. The food only arrives just as they are wrapping up the episode because the courier got confused about directions to the studio.

--> ''Ed'': [[TrueArtIsIncomprehensible Mine is a satirical piece about climate change]].
--> ''Sandi'': Yes, it looks like a [[FakeBoobs breast implant]].
--> ''Ed'': It's also a breast implant.

--->'''Sandi:''': Put your hand up if you haven't got hemorrhoids at the moment.\\

-->'''David:''' Now this is just giving you time to type "Mitchell is a cock".]]

--->'''Stephen:''' They say of the Acroc - Ap - Acropolis, where - where the Parthenon'n is... ''[pauses and makes odd noises as though to loosen his tongue]'' They ''say'' of the Acropolis, where the Parthenon is...\\
'''Jimmy:''' Are those the magic words?\\
'''Stephen: They ''say'' of the Acropolis, where the Parthenon is, that they... ''[beat, then he puts his head on his desk]'' It's all been to my...\\
'''Jimmy:''' It turns out, they didn't say anything at all!\\
'''Stephen:''' ''[he tries again while Jimmy and Bill mimic him]'' They ''say'' of the Acropolis, where the Parthenon is... ''[he breaks down laughing]''\\
'''Bill:''' ''[breaking into song]'' They ''say'' of the Acropolis where the Parthenon is...\\
'''Jimmy:''' ''[to the audience]'' Everyone!\\
'''Bill/Jimmy/Rob:''' ''[singing, as the audience claps and Stephen just laughs helplessly]'' They ''say'' of the Acropolis, where the Parthenon is! They ''say'' of the Acropolis, where the Parthenon is! They ''say;; of the Acropolis, where the Parthenon is! They ''say'' of the Acropolis, where the Parthenon is... ''[Jimmy and Rob trail off]''\\
'''Bill:''' ''[still in rhythm, banging his fists on the desk]'' Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!\\
'''Alan:''' Bloody ''hell'', Stephen. ''[Stephen glances over at him]'' This better be good!\\
'''Stephen:''' ''[laughs himself into tears, then tries to recover]'' Right, moving on! So. The triglyph is a remnant of the stone, er... oh... ''[having lost the thread again, he looks down in defeat]''\\
'''Jimmy:''' Sorry, Stephen - I've just got a question. ''[evil grin]'' What do they say... about the Acropolis, where the Parthenon - ''[sings]'' is?\\
'''Stephen:''' They say - ''[Bill hums a bit of the impromptu tune]'' They ''say'' of the Acropolis -\\
'''Alan:''' ''[jovially]'' What do they say? What do they say?\\
'''Bill:''' ''[bouncing in his chair alongside Rob as Stephen buries his face in his hands]'' He's gonna say! He's gonna say! He's gonna say! He's gonna say! He's gonna say! He's going to saaaay.\\
'''Stephen:''' ''[through laughter]'' I can't breathe! My tummy hurts!
'''Jimmy/Bill:''' ''[in the same impromptu tune, but with exaggeratedly deep voices]'' What do they saaaay? About the Acropoliiiiis?\\
'''Bill/Rob:''' ''[still singing]'' Where the Parthenon iiiiiis?\\
'''Stephen:''' ''[struggling massively through his giggles] Oh-h! Can I write it down? Read it! It says it there. ''[starts to hand one of his cards to Alan, but retains it]'' It's...\\
'''Jimmy:''' You've gotta tell us now!\\
'''Stephen:''' It's - They ''say'' of the Acropolis, where the Parthenon is - ''[nearly loses it again at the audience's reaction]'' - that there are... '''no'''... ''straight''... '''''lines!'''''\\
'''Rob:''' Yay! ''[he and Bill raise their arms delighted triumph]''\\
'''Stephen:''' Oh! ''[calms down a bit]'' Damn, that hurt.\\
'''Jimmy:''' ''[suddenly subdued]'' Yeah. ''[shrugs]'' Do they?\\
'''Stephen:''' Yeah.\\
'''Alan:''' ''[makes the "W" sign with his hands]'' Whatever!

** I think they broke Stephen...
--->'''Stephen''': I can't breathe!

--> ''Ed'': [[TrueArtIsIncomprehensible Mine is a satyrical piece about climate change]].