History Funny / Postal

* The Farm level in Postal 1 can be bizarrely humorous, given that the farm Postal Dude stumbles upon isn't just an ordinary farm, but an ''ostrich farm.'' The absurdity of this scenario is even [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded]] by the Dude in his "War Journal" in ''Redux,'' [[{{Irony}} which actually starts making him question his own already deteriorating sanity:]]

* The Farm level in Postal 1 can be bizarrely humorous, given that the farm Postal Dude stumbles upon isn't just an ordinary farm, but an ''ostrich farm.'' The absurdity of this scenario is even [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded]] by the Dude in his "War Journal" in ''Redux,'' [[SkewedPriorities which actually starts making him question his own already deteriorating sanity:]]

-->'''War Journal:''' Looks like a farm. Birds? ''OSTRICHES?'' Good Lord, am I infected, mad like the others?

* The Farm level in Postal 1 can be bizarrely humorous, given that the farm Postal Dude stumbles upon isn't just an ordinary farm, but an ''ostrich farm.'' The absurdity of this scenario is even [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded]] by the Dude in the "War Journal" in ''Redux,'' [[SkewedPriorities which actually starts making him question his own already deteriorating sanity:]]

-->'''Wife:''' Hey, did you get Gary Coleman's autograph? I can get a small fortune for it on eBay.\\

'''Wife:''' Yes. Why?\\

* The petition-signing mission is pretty funny, and a good change of pace from the run-and-gun nature of the rest of the game. All you need to do is walk up to multiple random people and ask them to sign the petition. However, not everyone will immediately sign it. If you ask once, it's a friendly ask. The second attempt is the Dude irritatingly asking again, wanting to be done with the whole thing in general. The third time has the Dude ''threatening the person with violence to themselves and loved ones if they do not sign the petition''. Most cases, [[CaptainObvious the person runs in terror at the third attempt]]... or [[InvertedTrope kindly signs the petition.]]

* [[spoiler: Postal 3!Dude]] manifests himself as the voice in the Postal Dude's head and often encourages him to just be violent (for example, he tells you to just kill vendors during some very long waits). That's right, ''[[HatesEveryoneEqually The Postal Dude]]'' has [[UpToEleven an evil voice in his head]].

--> "I suppose it would be more [[PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad politically correct]] to kill the women and the minorities first."

-->[[NonSequitur "Butt sauce!""]]

'''Champ is licking himself'''

'''Warden:''' Good, you're hired.

* Peeing on Mike J while's he's in human form will result in [[spoiler:him dancing a little jig while the music from the nightclub plays.]]

--> '''The Postal Dude:''' Hey, you. How about offering to help some poor unspecified group of today's society?
--> '''The Postal Dude (Annoyed):''' I know you've got some unwanted cash burning a hole in your pocket. HAND it over!
--> '''The Postal Dude (TranquilFury Mode/Pissed):''' Here's the deal: You make a donation and [[BrutalHonesty you won't end up as food for the worms in the next five seconds]]./Are you gonna show some generosity OR will I have to beat it into you?

* In ''Apocalypse Weekend'', after the elephant hunting mission, you are tasked to partake in a pigeon hunting mission. However, before you can do anything, the game is interrupted with a message claiming that Running With Scissors doesn't have the budget to include the pigeon hunting mission. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-Mqdm6X5Po Then the game cuts to this]].

--> '''The Postal Dude:''' IsThereADoctorInTheHouse
--> '''The Postal Dude (At the beginning of EZ-Mart level):''' [[FlatWhat What?]] You don't sell ''POSTAL''?
--> '''The Postal Dude:''' Here's your low-price guarantee.
--> '''The Postal Dude:''' Now do you agree the customer's always right?
--> '''The Postal Dude:''' Sorry! He checked out already!
--> '''The Postal Dude:''' What do YOU MEAN this lane is closed?!
--> '''The Postal Dude (Emotionally):''' You must be freezing! [[KillItWithFire Let me warm you up...]]
--> '''The Postal Dude:''' Sorry, I'm out of hot towels. Will this do?
--> '''The Postal Dude:''' [[SpoiledBrat Rich bastard!]]

''mechanical noises from within, before the machine dispenses [[MagicAntidote anti-gonorrhea pills]]''\\

* The entire encounter with Gary Coleman. When waiting in line for his autograph, the things the people say to him are hysterical. One guy greets Gary about them both going to the same rehab together, while another will scold Gary for a time they went to bar and all Gary did was hit on women. Gary will simply [[NiceCharacterMeanActor shrug each person off]] and move the line along. It's especially funny what The Postal Dude says to Gary once they meet:

** It's made funnier when Gary threatens you with violence if he ever catches you selling it on eBay, which becomes a BrickJoke at the end of the day:

** The second is the charity drive on Wednesday, where one of your errands is to quickly get three-thousand dollars, so the Dude runs around town with an old-time cup asking for loose change. Like the petition, he starts out asking sweetly (though conspicuously dodging explaining exactly what cause he's raising money for), gets annoyed if he asks to ask a second time, then threatens them for the third time. Unlike the petition, it's very time-consuming and not expected of the player [[note]] though there's an achievement for it [[/note]] to actually make enough money normally, as the split-personality starts hinting at after you've passed around 400 bucks.

* [[spoiler: Postal 3!Dude]] manifests himself as the voice in the Postal Dude's head and often encourages him to just be violent (for example; he tells you to just kill vendors during some very long waits). That's right, ''[[HatesEveryoneEqually The Postal Dude]]'' has [[UpToEleven an evil voice in his head]].
* Even though the Postal Dude now sounds like an actual lunatic in ''Redux'', but [[BlackComedy his dark sense of humor is still retained]] in several lines. Even with emotion added:
--> '''The Postal Dude:''' [[SarcasmMode Is there a doctor in the house?]]
--> '''The Postal Dude (In the beginning of EZ-Mart level):''' [[FlatWhat What?]] You don't sell ''POSTAL''?

* [[https://youtu.be/KKQX2k91Opk?t=15 The karaoke scene in Paradise Lost]]. The way the microphone keeps screeching as the Postal Dude ''doesn't even try to sing'' is just the icing on the cake.

* [=NPCs=] in Postal 2 are programmed to start vomiting if another NPC vomits on them. If these two [=NPCs=] happen to be facing each other, then this can lead to a constant loop of them repeatedly vomiting on each other.

* [[KickTheDog Using a cat]] [[BlackComedy as a silencer for your shotgun or Machine Gun]].

* The petition-signing mission is pretty funny, and a good change of pace from the run-and-gun nature of the rest of the game. All you need to do is walk up to multiple random people and ask them to sign the petition. However, not everyone will immediately sign it. If you ask once, it's a friendly ask. The second attempt is The Postal Dude irritatingly asking again, wanting to be done with the whole thing in general. The third time has The Postal Dude ''threatening the person with violence to themselves and loved ones if they do not sign the petition''. Most cases, [[CaptainObvious the person runs in terror at the third attempt]]... or [[InvertedTrope kindly signs the petition.]]
** Oh, and the reason for the petition? [[TakeThat To make whiney congressmen play violent video games.]]

** The second is the charity drive on Wednesday, where one of your errands is to quickly get three-thousand dollars, so the Dude runs around town with an old-time cup asking for loose change. Like the petition, he starts out asking sweetly (though conspicuously dodging explaining exactly what cause he's raising money for), gets annoyed if he asks to ask a second time, then threatens them for the third time. Unlike the petition, it's very time-consuming and not expected of the player[[note:though there's an achievement for it]] to actually make enough money normally, as the split-personality starts hinting at after you've passed around 400 bucks.

* [=NPCs=] in Postal 2 are programmed to start vomiting if another NPC vomits on them. If these two [=NPCs=] happen to be facing each other, then this can lead to a constant loop of them repeatedly vomiting on each other.
* In Paradise Lost, Fire In The Hole has become a nightclub. Run by real life gay fascist white supremacist Milo Yiannopoulos, played by the real man himself. He wields a dildo as a weapon. You can of course kill Milo, in any way you'd kill any other Postal 2 NPC. Catharsis, thy name is Postal 2.

** The second is the charity drive on Wednesday, where one of your errands is to quickly get three-thousand dollars, so the Dude runs around town with an old-time cup asking for loose change. Like the petition, he starts out asking sweetly (though dodging explaining exactly what cause he's raising money for), gets annoyed if he asks to ask a second time, then threatens them for the third time. Unlike the petition, it's almost impossible to actually make enough money normally, as the split-personality starts hinting at after you've passed around 400 bucks.