History Funny / PokerNightAtTheInventory

* When the Heavy loses with a good hand and a considerable stake in the pot, he gets understandably and visibly angry. He then proceeds to [[FlippingTheTable flip the table]] and [[ShoutingShooter spin up his minigun while roaring one of his inarticulate battle cries.]] That's funny enough, but then he realizes ItWorksBetterWithBullets.

-->'''[[TheBrute Heavy]]:''' These cards are weak, like [[JustForPun BLU]] baby team! ''*folds*''\\

-->'''Strong Bad''': I hear the Cold Ones here are pretty good.\\
'''Tycho''': Aren't you, like, ten?\\
'''Strong Bad''': You, shut face. They also shake up some decent... bananaang. Banang. Banaaa-aaang. Baaaaa-\\
'''Max''': STOP IT!\\

'''Strong Bad''':...nang.
* When the Heavy gave an [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFAMTBxJ8yM increasingly brutal story]] of how he dealt with an Engineer as if building up to a joke. The [[DudeNotFunny reactions of the other three players]] are priceless!
-->'''Strong Bad''': ''([[{{Beat}} after a beat]])'' '''''That is some [[SoundEffectBleep bleeped-up bleep]], man!!!'''''

'''Tycho:''' In the early 1600's, [[SophisticatedAsHell it was when the King would take a shit on a peasant]]. I fold.

-->'''Tycho:''' Where was I? Oh...''Christ!''

** He's obviously making stuff up in that second one. Everyone knows that [[Literature/{{Discworld}} the Hedgehog Can Never Be Buggered.]]

-->'''Heavy:''' You have hands like young girl!
-->'''Tycho:''' I got a regimen, yo. I keep them shits ''moist''.
-->'''Heavy:''' So you are more of sneaky, stabbing type?
-->'''Tycho:''' In an extreme cirsumstance, maybe. Or if someone's being a huge asshole.
-->'''Heavy:''' ...I keep my eyes on you.
-->'''Tycho:''' Nononono! I wasn't implying...
-->'''Heavy:''' ''[Gives him a ridiculously angry face]''
-->'''Tycho:''' ...[[OhCrap shit]].

-->'''Strong Bad:''' What's your poison, nerd-monger?
-->'''Tycho:''' A gin-fizz, depending on the occasion.
-->'''Strong Bad:''' Ha! You're a girl. You pledged to a sorority in college, and you learned to make that drink there.

--> '''Totalbiscuit:''' Do you have the testicular fortitude Heavy? Will you risk everything?
--> '''Heavy Weapons Guy:''' NO! [*folds*]

-->'''Tycho:''' So Heavy, find any rare drops lately?
-->'''Heavy:''' I do not understand.
-->'''Tycho:''' When you get a kill, sometimes you get a present, right?
-->'''Heavy:''' When I get kill, I get honor of team! ... [[ShellShockedVeteran Sometimes, I also get nightmares.]] A man does not go home to his wife and children.
-->'''Tycho:''' So... no loot then?
-->'''Heavy:''' [[MoodWhiplash OH! You mean HAT! Yes, I LOVE hats!]] Sometimes I get these!
-->'''Heavy:''' (Creepy stare towards camera and large smile) They are the best!

-->'''[[TheBrute Heavy]]:''' These cards are weak, like [[JustForPun BLU]] baby team! ''*folds*''
-->...
-->'''[[DeadpanSnarker Tycho]]:''' ''*flatly*'' Fuck this shit. ''*folds*''

-->'''Max''': It's boring times like these that make me sit back and ponder life's intricacies. Like why do my nipples exist? I don't even use them that much anymore.

-->'''Max''': I fold... WAIT! What's the one where I bet my stupidly large pile of chips all at once?
-->'''Tycho''': That's going "all in".
-->'''Max''': *excitedly* Yeah that! I wanna do that!

-->'''Strong Bad''': (Bangs head against the table several times)
-->({{Beat}})
-->'''Strong Bad''': [[BlatantLies Raise.]]

-->'''Tycho''': Do you know the [[FromTheLatinIntroDucere etymology]] of the word "flop"?
-->'''Max''': Nope!
-->'''Tycho''': In the early 1600's, [[SophisticatedAsHell it was when the King would take a shit on a peasant]]. I fold.

--->'''Tycho:''' Hey, Max, [[CallBack remember when you found that machine and went back to 1964 and met Momma Bosco?]]
--->'''Max:''' Yeah!
--->'''Tycho:''' Out of curiosity, did anything happen with that?
--->'''Max:''' Well, Sam and I jumped through time and encountered a cow-hybrid version of Bosco on a spaceship.
--->'''Tycho:''' No, I meant with Momma Bosco. Like, between you and her.
--->'''Max:''' Uh...
--->'''Tycho:''' You know, did you guys get down to anything "untoward?" Or "toward," even? Maybe while Sam was in the time machine? You can tell me; I'll put it in the vault. ''Deep'' in the vault.
--->'''Max:''' ''[[[HeroicBSOD Audibly shocked]]]'' ...are you asking me if I ever [[InterspeciesRomance schtupped Momma Bosco]]?
--->'''Tycho:''' No? Never mind then.

-->'''Tycho''': [[LadiesAndGerms Ladies, gents]], [[ItHasBeenAnHonor it's been an honor.]] Also, go fuck your respective selves.

-->'''Heavy''': Strong and Bad, how is boxing career?
-->'''Strong Bad''': ''[[BerserkButton THESE. ARE. MY. HAAAANDS!]]''

** Just goes to show how, even among this group of psychopaths, the Heavy takes the cake for being the most AxCrazy. Max sees it perfectly moral to set kittens on fire, and [[HorrifyingTheHorror even ''he'' was stunned speechless.]]

-->'''Tycho:''' I commend your restraint. Gabe would be showing me his balls... unless you're planning to do that now.

-->'''[[DeadpanSnarker Tycho]]:''' ''*flatly*'' [[spoiler:Fuck]] this [[spoiler:shit]]. ''*folds*''

-->'''Tycho''': [[LadiesAndGerms Ladies, gents]], [[ItHasBeenAnHonor it's been an honor.]] Also, go [[spoiler:fuck]] your respective selves.

* When the Heavy gave an [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFAMTBxJ8yM increasingly brutal story]] of how he dealt with an Engineer as if building up to a joke. The [[EvenEvilHasStandards reactions]] [[DudeNotFunny of the other three players]] are priceless!

-->'''Heavy:''' When I get kill, I get honor of team! ... [[ShellShockedVeteran Sometimes, I also get nightmares.]] [[WarIsHell A man does not go home to his wife and children.]]

-->'''Heavy:''' [[MoodWhiplash OH! You mean HAT!]] [[Memes/TeamFortress2 Yes, I LOVE hats!]] Sometimes I get these!

-->'''Tycho''': [[LadiesAndGerms Ladies, gents,]] [[ItHasBeenAnHonor it's been an honor.]] Also, go [[spoiler:fuck]] your respective selves.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khkmoTLmHCE Tycho busting out]] and deciding to reach for a granola bar in his pants to comfort himself leads to a hilarious situation where all the other character [[ShootHimHeHasAWallet misinterpret the action as reaching for a gun and try to shoot them]]. Cue them aiming their guns at him in defense, then reeling back as they realize their error. Except Strong Bad, who demands Tycho to hand over the granola bar anyway. Tycho refuses, and walks away.
** As a bonus, if you listen closely, there are ''four'' distinct "gun draw" noises that get played in that scene, implying the player ''also'' pulled a gun on Tycho.

-->'''Heavy:''' When I get kill, I get honor of team! ... Sometimes, I also get nightmares. A man does not go home to his wife and children.