History Funny / Payday2

--> '''Jacket (Deploying a First Aid Kit):''' I'm gonna give you [[JustForPun AIDS]]./Here's a First Aid Kit. [[NeverMyFault Don't complain to me if you die.]]

* Whenever you drive in a vehicle, you will [[OneHitKill instantly kill any law enforcement officers you touch.]] This includes the snail's pace forklifts. If you so much as gently bump into a Shield or Bulldozer, they will instantly ragdoll to the ground.

'''Wick:''' *sniff* Is it hippies?

--> '''Jacket (Dominating a SWAT unit):''' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Hands. Up. Now.]]/Kneel down like [[YourMom your mom]]./You're my bitch now!

--> '''Jacket (Ordering a cop to handcuff himself):''' Put those kinky sex cuffs on your wrists!/It's time for you to get fucking kinky!

* For the trippy, mind-screwing Halloween 2015 heist, Lab Rats, the new audio track isn't a terrifying set of strings, or a tense electronic anthem, but a mellow StupidStatementDanceMix of Houston's memetic "Don't act dumb!" on loop, named, fittingly enough, "Donacdum".

--> '''Jacket (Answering the pager):''' [[BadBadActing WHAT?! WHO IS THIS!?]] IF YOU CALL THIS NUMBER AGAIN [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I'LL GET MY HUSBAND TO CALL THE POLICE!]]/[[JustForFun/NavySealCopypasta What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals. So you should just check your privilege]], [[TakeThat you lazy pager responding cunt!]]

* Also doubling as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome, [[spoiler:the True Ending. Sure, its leadup is pretty serious, but ultimately the gang finally manages to rest, with the original four resting in a beach, alongside Jimmy (who's having the time of his life with cocaine and women and swimsuits) and Locke...who's still wearing his fatigues. On the beach. Shooting golf balls at Dallas' yacht, Medic Bag. And he gets bonked in the head with a suitcase by the Butcher.]]

* In Henry's Rock, there is a red button in the mainframe area that is locked under a plastic cover with a sign saying "DO NOT PRESS". [[SchmuckBait On Overkill difficulty and above, you can indeed press the button]]. [[spoiler:Doing so will rain down tear gas and two turrets from the ceiling. Exactly WHY this button is here and does that at all is still a mystery. You also get an achievement for destroying the turrets and completing the heist as normal.]]

--> '''Jacket (First World Bank speech):''' Hey listen up, faggots. This is a robbery. [[Machinima/ArbyNTheChief John fucking cancelled his credit card]] [[DisproportionateRetribution so now we're gonna take all your fucking shit roflmao.]] If you stand up, I'll fucking quick-scope you and [[YouBastard it'll be your own fucking fault]] [[KickTheDog cuz you're retarded.]] Now behave yourselves before I send you to the time-out corner six feet under [[CrossesTheLineTwice with your fucking grandmother.]]

--> '''Jacket (Calling to Dallas):''' [[{{VideoGame/Halo}} Master Chief]].../[[Machinima/MomentsWithHeavy Old fart]]...

--> '''Jacket (Spotting a Taser):''' Try not to cry, the Taser faggot is here./[[TheDreaded TASER TASER TASER TASER TASER GET THE FUCK AWAY!]]/Christ, it's fucking ComicBook/{{Thor}}.

* In Rats day 1 later (and Cook Off), the normally nigh-omniscient quality of Bain's intel takes a sharp nosedive into him rapidly shifting through severely misinformed websites on how to cook meth. More than once, the instructions are highly vague, and one particularly hot piece of information is outright wrong. The team botching the cooking process as a result will lead to [[StuffBlowingUp the meth lab exploding]] and [[WhatTheHellPlayer Bain scolding the crew for]] [[ExplosiveStupidity using the wrong ingredients]]:

* In Rats and, later, in Cook Off, the normally nigh-omniscient quality of Bain's intel takes a sharp nosedive into him rapidly shifting through severely misinformed websites on how to cook meth. More than once, the instructions are highly vague, and one particularly hot piece of information is outright wrong. The team botching the cooking process as a result will lead to [[StuffBlowingUp the meth lab exploding]] and [[WhatTheHellPlayer Bain scolding the crew for]] [[ExplosiveStupidity using the wrong ingredients]]:

** For extra funsies, doing so gets the "[[TooDumbToLive F in Chemistry]]" [[AchievementMockery achievement]] ([[https://i.psnprofiles.com/games/43b063/trophies/6L1e8f65.png complete with the medal showing a heister running around]] [[ManOnFire while burning from the meth lab's explosion]]): [[https://youtu.be/pOpZiNQEGP4 there]] [[https://youtu.be/9Di7znHYuA0 are]] [[https://youtu.be/nVKR-F1FZDQ dozens]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqqB6JINOxw of]] [[https://youtu.be/glK6UA47cco videos]] [[https://youtu.be/17_kTCA8ZOI online]] showing how to get this achievement, essentially meaning dozens of videos wherein the crew [[ViolationOfCommonSense deliberately mixes in the wrong ingredient at the start, basically failing the entire job from the word "go", just to get an achievement]].

* Overkill released a PAYDAY 2-themed take on the classic [[https://youtu.be/zjnJk5V9nSM Twelve Days Of Christmas]]. On the first day, Chains gets "a broke-dick piece of shit drill". Every time the song gets back to him, he becomes even more upset, to the point where day eleven is just him ''[[UpToEleven loudly sobbing over the sound of]] multiple broken drills beeping for attention''. Wolf and Twitch's lyrics progressively get louder and louder until the two of them start screaming incomprehensibly by the final day due to Twitch having his tires shot and Wolf panicking from the huge horde of cops. Some of the lyrics are also quite hilarious:

* The [[https://youtu.be/F6Xuk_cieHQ Hardcore Henry Packs trailer]], which has the Payday Gang be the [[OnlySaneMan Only Sane Men]] in the UpToEleven MindScrew of the ''Film/HardcoreHenry'' film. While it is tempting to say the ENTIRE trailer is a front-to-back funny moment, the line from Hoxton (who has had a pillow case over his head the entire time [[spoiler:after coked-up Jimmy enters the room after the other Jimmy clone shoots himself in the head]] sums it up:

** [[UpToEleven This skill also works on]] [[LightningBruiser Bulldozers]], albeit it only stuns them and negates their melee strike instead of knocking them down and [[AwesomeButImpractical being extremely]] [[{{Understatement}} risky]] towards [[MoreDakka Skulldozers]] or [[GatlingGood Minigun Dozers.]]