History Funny / Oxventure

--> '''Merilwen'': Anyway, here's [[Music/{{Oasis}} Wind Wall]].

* The mash of ludicrous disguise subsequent absurd political diatribe between tentacle monsters manages to get the ''entire table'' corpsing, especially once Dob manages to keep the whole thing going with a ludicrously high Charisma roll.

** He then goes for a humidor and smokes a fine Cuban cigar. Despite the [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything insinuations]] of the audience, Johnny insists it's a finger. After another Wisdom roll of 3, Johnny remarks that Corazón can tell the cigar is [[JustForPun hand-rolled]].

* Prudence questions the validity of whether or not parleying with Vex is an option after Egbert lit him on fire. This causes the group to remember when she flirted with the monster many years ago, causing them to lead into a discussion of Prudence's choices for a partner, and being on fire might be one of them. Egbert sheepishly remarks that there are, after all, [[JustForPun hot singles]] in her area.

* Chet gives Corazón a smooch. Egbert is jealous, but he can at least take comfort in the fact that he's [[JustForPun smoking hot]].

* Dob comes up with a [[IndyPloy new plan on the fly]]: He'll launch himself, Rust, and cat-form Merilwen into the bandit camp using saplings as a catapult. He remarks that he picked those two because it's a [[JustForPun "cat"apult]].

* Corazón makes a peace offering to Rust, by drawing a picture of the two of them together as pirates. Or [[JustForPun "purr-rates".]]

* Egbert, Dob, and Merilwen investigate the DistressedDamsel, only to find it's a trap and the floor falls away. Johnny has each of them roll Constitution checks. Merilwen biffs it, and lands first. Dob lands on Merilwen and knocks her out, while Egbert lands on Dob and knocks him out. Then Egbert gets shot with a dart.

* Corazón and Prudence see through the DistressedDamsel trap, only to get caught anyway. Once reunited, the Oxventurers meet their kidnapper, Rodrigo Bellforte, who says he's kidnapped them for a party. Dob is on board, and immediately offers JumpingOutOfACake.

-->'''Ellen:''' (laughing) Sounds like a Franchise/{{Pokemon}}, sorry...\\

'''Ellen:''' (dies laughing)

'''Shopkeeper:''' (sleepily) What do you want?\\

'''Merilwen:''' [meows]

* Mike apparently had a bad experience at IKEA given that he keeps proposing that various furniture sellers do things like force people to assemble the stuff themselves and charge the same amount, or build a one-way system in to confuse and exhaust people into buying something.

* The team decides to wear some pretty weird stuff to the party, as if their masks weren't enough. Egbert ends up wearing a coat made of eighty wolves, Dob wears an electric blue tuxedo he has for some reason, Merilwen wears a {{ComicBook/Deadpool}} costume, and Prudence and Corazón both choose [[SexyWhateverOutfit Sexy Whatever Outfits]] (Prudence a [[WesternAnimation/DespicableMe Minion]], Corazón a nurse).

* For Oxventure moments from story 25 and onwards, plus ''Lasers and Feelings'', go [[Funny/OxventurePart2 here]].

* For Oxventure moments from story 25 and onwards, plus ''Lasers and Feelings''), go [[Funny/OxventurePart2 here]].

* For Oxventure moments (story 25 and onwards, plus ''Lasers and Feelings''), go [[Funny/OxventurePart2 here]].

* For more Oxventure moments (story 25 and onwards, plus ''Lasers and Feelings''), go [[Funny/OxventurePart2 here]].

* Supposedly, the mace is cursed, but it's an amusing curse: The victim can be struck by a BalefulPolymorph. Egbert loves it.

-->'''Merilwen''': [[TastesLikeDiabetes Hey, buddy...]]\\

'''Andy:''' [[UpToEleven Also, I cut the oil paintings out of their frames and roll them up, and stash them up my sleeve.]]\\

* Dob, meanwhile, still thinking of his tunnel idea, goes to buy a shovel. And remarks that he couldn't find one in the big chain shovel store, and remarks on the wisdom of going to a mom-and-pop instead. Egbert [[DumbassHasAPoint wonders why the town has so many ruined houses, but three shovel stores]], [[UpToEleven including one large enough to be an emporium]].

** Ellen is so offended by the treatment of the cats that Johhny hands her their flask and she takes a large swig from it. The audience starts chanting "Chug" until Johnny shuts them down.

''Corazón, oh Corazón, look to the [[PainfulRhyme horizon]]''\\

* The Sorel is the last ingredient to make a serum to create some mutant dragonborns. The group tells Egbert to destroy it, however, Egbert wants to play along for a second to see this serum. Once the Sorel is mixed into the brew, Egbert jumps up and drinks it. This renders everyone else speechless. And Johnny [[INeedAFreakingDrink leaves to get some booze.]]
* The serum gives Egbert the ability to shoot Dragonborns from his hands.

* In the middle of describing what the Captain of the Guard looks like, Johnny remembers it's a masquerade ball and thus his face shouldn't be as visible as they just described it. He decides to fudge it and say he's just wearing a very small mask.

* In the middle of describing what the Captain of the Guard looks like, Johnny remembers it's a masquerade ball and thus his face shouldn't be as visible as he just described it. He decides to fudge it and say he's just wearing a very small mask.