History Funny / OldManHenderson

--->"Remember when I said I was getting revenge? I brought out the big guns. I don't even have the small guns anymore. I was given some once, and promptly returned them. 'Won't be needin' these' I said. *on his phone* Hello, (Chinese food place I forget the name of)? You still got that special on the shrimp fried rice?"

* After killing hundreds of cultists and causing thousands worth of property damage, Henderson finally learns that the cult of Hastur didn't take his gnomes. His reaction? [[{{Understatement}} He feels like he might have overreacted a bit...]]

** According to WHM, the leader of the cultists [[TheUnintelligible couldn't understand a word Henderson said]] and assumed that Henderson was cursing him in an [[BlackSpeech elder tongue.]]

-->"I... I think I need a minute. Or ten."

-->"Remember when I said I was getting revenge? I brought out the big guns. I don't even have the small guns anymore. I was given some once, and promptly returned them. 'Won't be needin' these' I said. *on his phone* Hello, (Chinese food place I forget the name of)? You still got that special on the shrimp fried rice?"

** To elaborate, Henderson believes the cult of Hastur stole his lawn gnomes, and responds by [[DisproportionateRetribution murdering an entire church of cultists]] and setting the church on fire. After returning home, he realizes [[SomethingWeForgot he forgot to actually search for his lawn gnomes]], and runs back to the burning church to look for them.

** The absolute best is James Fink (the Professor's second character) failing to dodge the bomb rigged tanker truck and getting crushed to death. Of all the ways he could've died, the possessed detective, gunfire, the cultists or even the explosion itself, he got accidentally rammed.

* Henderson driving down the road smoking a bong while two teenagers are having sex in his back seat. It takes the cop he passed two blocks to process what he just saw.
** To get a bit more specific. A beat-up '92 Buick driving down the street, flooded with smoke, blasting Creedence Clearwater Revival, two teens having sex in the back, a slightly less fat Kevin Smith in the front passenger seat, and a mohawk-sporting, Hawaiian shirt-wearing old dude smoking a giant bong while driving along.
* After killing hundreds of cultists and causing thousands worth of property damage, Henderson finally learns that the cult of Hastur didn't take his gnomes. His reaction? [[{{Understatement}} He feels like he might have overreacted a bit...]]

** The absolute best is James Fink (the Professor's second character) failing to dodge the bomb rigged tanker truck and getting crushed to death. Of all the was he could have died, the possessed detective, gunfire, the cultists or even the explosion itself, he got accidentally rammed.

* Henderson and Jimmy [[HilarityEnsues smoke the Necronomicon]]. Henderson enjoys it thoroughly, but Jimmy ends up hallucinating cartoon squids and failing every sanity check, yet somehow comes out of it okay. The author compares it to tentacle horror mixed with ''WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes''.

* The description for Jimmy [[ItMakesSenseInContext smoking the page of the Necronomicon]].
-->Henderson decides to introduce [Jimmy] to the wonderful world of substance abuse, and like a bro passes the blunt. To be totally honest, I'm surprised this moment didn't make the original story, since smoking the giant book of Bad Juju was the best thing to ever happen on accident. So Jimmy took a hit, and totally failed every check the GM sent his way. [[MushroomSamba He saw Jesus, and then Jesus turned into a giant squid thing.]] In the deep distance, the Weed softened the blow by masking everything behind a cartoon-ey after-glow. So imagine for a moment WesternAnimation/ElmerFudd scream 'Cthulhu fhtagn' and shoot WesternAnimation/{{Daffy|Duck}} in the face. Only instead of a fucked up beak and a muttering of '{{this means war}}', he screams 'HE COMES!' [[https://1d4chan.org/images/8/8a/Necro_blunt_hit.jpeg and tentacles rip out of his form to molest wildlife]].\\
This is the part where I had to go to the door and retrieve the precious shrimp fried rice, [[NoodleIncident but I came back to]] "So wait, I ONLY lost 15 san?"

** To get a bit more specific. A beat-up '92 Buick driving down the street, flooded with smoke, blasting Creedence Clearwater Revival, two teens having sex in the back, a slightly less fat Kevin Smith in the front passenger seat, and a mohawk-sporting, hawaiian shirt-wearing old dude smoking a giant bong while driving along.
* After killing hundreds of cultists and causing thousands worth of property damage, Henderson finally learns that the cult of Hastur didn't take his gnomes. His reaction? [[{{Understatement}} He feels like he might have overreacted a bit...]]

** To get a bit more specific. A beat-up '92 Buick driving down the street, flooded with smoke, blasting Clearwater Creedence Revival, two teens having sex in the back, a slightly less fat Kevin Smith in the front passenger seat, and a mohawk-sporting, hawaiian shirt-wearing old dude smoking a giant bong while driving along.

* The Necronomiblunt. You will never see ''WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes'' the same way ever again.
* Henderson driving down the road smoking a bong while two teenagers are having sex in his back seat. It takes the cop he passed two blocks to process what he just saw.

* Any time Old Man Henderson causes the death of a player character, which happens a lot

* The Necronomiblunt. You will never see ''WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes'' the same way ever again.

** Patrick's confrontation with Henderson, where he punches him in the face and breaks his sunglasses only for Henderson to pull out a new pair

** Patrick's confrontation with Henderson, where he punches him in the face and breaks his sunglasses only for Henderson to pull out a new pair

* Any time Old Man Henderson indirectly causes the death of a player character, which happens a lot

* Any time Old Man Henderson indirectly causes the death of a player character, which happens a lot

* Any time Old Man Henderson indirectly causes the death of a player character, which happens [i]a lot[/i]