History Funny / MissionImpossible

For the Funny page of the ''Mission: Impossible'' films, see [[Funny/MissionImpossibleFilmSeries here]].

For the Funny page of the ''[[Film/MissionImpossibleFilmSeries Mission: Impossible]]'' films, see [[Funny/MissionImpossibleFilmSeries here]].

For the Funny page of the ''[[Film/MissionImpossible1996 Mission: Impossible]]'' film, see [[Funny/MissionImpossible1996 here]].

!!First film:
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* Jack's deadpan warning to Ethan about the explosive gum: "Just don't chew it."
* In the climax Ethan is nearly killed when he hooks the line from the helicopter [[spoiler: Jim Phelps]] planned to escape in to the back of a speeding train as it enters the Chunnel and blows it up. When it's over the camera pans from Ethan on the outside of the rear car breathing a sigh of relief to a shocked train conductor inside who had witnessed the whole thing and promptly faints.
* As the disavowed team is about to go into full silence mode for the Langley heist, Krieger sneezes loudly, causing their sound meters to briefly go haywire.
-->'''Ethan''': Krieger, from here on in...''absolute silence''.
-->(''Krieger nods, then gives his giant nose one last wipe'')
** Krieger, the most ax-crazy character in the movie, with a look of horror (and allergies) at the rat slowly making its way toward him, enough to nearly blow the mission by dropping Ethan in order to quickly snuff it out.
* The poor CIA employee getting hit with the sickness fluid. At one point during the heist, he emerges from the bathroom thinking it's over, takes two steps, and promptly runs back into the bathroom. The worst of all is that [[BadBoss Kittridge]] is so pissed off that Ethan stole the List that he wants the man being sent somewhere in Alaska for his failure.
* Ethan disguising as [[GrumpyOldMan the US Senator]] during the Golitsyn mission.
* While Jack's upload of Sarah's info into the embassy database is taking longer than expected, forcing security to run it again, both Ethan and Sarah snark at him via IHaveThisFriend, while staying in character.
-->'''Sarah''': Tell me, Senator, do you all have someone on your staff named Jack?
-->'''Ethan''': Jack... I believe we did have a Jack. An unreliable fellow as I recall. Constantly ''late'' and behind in his work. I was forced to tie him behind one of my best stallions and drag him around my barn for a few days.
-->'''Jack''': Relax your crack, Foghorn. I'm working on it.
** When Ethan and Sarah finally gain entrance into the elevator, Ethan looks up at Jack through the ceiling grate with annoyance.
-->'''Ethan''': [Your] date with Sarah is definitely ''off''.
* The magic trick scene. Ethan gets Krieger to think he has a fake [=NOC=] List by doing some illusionist movements with the disket which annoys Krieger very much. Cue Claire having the time of her life without ever trying to {{Corpsing}}.
* After Ethan shows off some sleight-of-hand with the discs and hands one to Luther, Luther futilely tries it out on his own to no avail.
* Phelps motions to Krieger to pick him up in the helicopter, despite his ridiculous situation of being locked to a train in the Chunnel. Jean Reno gets a spectacular "What the hell does he expect me to do?" expression.

* Phelps motions to Krieger to pick him up in the helicopter, despite his ridiculous situation of being locked to a train in the Chunnel. Jean Reno gets a spectacular "What the hell does he expect me to do?" expression?

-->(Krieger nods, then gives his giant nose one last wipe)
** Kreiger, the most ax-crazy character in the movie, with a look of horror (and allergies) at the rat slowly making its way toward him, enough to nearly blow the mission by dropping Ethan in order to quickly snuff it out.
* The poor CIA employee getting hit with the sickness fluid. At one point during the heist, he emerges from the bathroom thinking it's over, takes two steps, and promptly runs back into the bathroom.

* After Ethan shows off some sleight-of-hand with the discs and hands one to Luther, Luther futilely tries it out on his own to no avail.

** Kreiger, the most ax-crazy character in the movie, with a look of horror (and allergies) looking at the rat slowly making its way toward him, enough to nearly blow the mission by dropping Ethan in order to quickly snuff it out.

** Kreiger, the most ax-crazy character in the movie, gets genuinely terrified looking at the rat slowly making its way toward him, enough to nearly blow the mission by dropping Ethan in order to quickly snuff it out.

-->'''Jack''': Relax your crack, Foghorn. I'm working on it

!!Mission: Impossible (first film)

!!Mission: Impossible II
* In the second film, Ambrose and his crew catch up to Ethan trying to get Chimera out of the building it's housed in, causing a huge firefight; Luther is unable to warn Ethan beforehand because he was tied up getting out of the van as a henchman had put a bomb on it. As Luther finally escapes the rubble, Ethan has already been pinned behind cover from being outnumbered. Ethan then gets a warning from Luther that Ambrose was on his way up.
* Ambrose's remark that the hardest part about impersonating Ethan was "Grinning like an idiot every fifteen minutes". The sheer venom in Dougray Scott's voice is what sells it.
* Pretty much all of Anthony Hopkins [[OneSceneWonder limited screentime]] but special mention goes to, "To go to bed with a man and lie to him? She's a woman. She has all the training she needs." He gets the film's best line with "This isn't Mission: Difficult. It's Mission: Impossible. Difficult should be a walk in the park for you."

!!Mission: Impossible 3
* As Ethan escapes IMF HQ in the third film, he jams the walkie-talkies by holding down the talk button, disabling Brassel's ability to communicate with security. As Ethan comes out of the cover building, he pins the walkie-talkie next to a radio playing "We Are Family" on his way to freedom. Brassel is in disbelief as the song comes over the walkie-talkies, turning to his partner stating, "You have GOT to be kidding me."
* "Turn the switch on and off. Don't forget the off." Such a serious line delivered so seriously shouldn't be funny, but it is!
** "I'm going to die unless you kill me."
** While instructing Julia how to use a gun, she doesn't realize she's pointing the gun at him.
* When Ethan!Davian gets in the Lamborghini with Zhen and Luther opens the pothole below the false console of the car.
-->'''Ethan!Davian''': What's up?
-->'''Luther''': Nothing, what's up with you?
-->'''Ethan!Davian''': Nothing. *climbs down into the hole*

!!Mission: Impossible: Ghost Protocol
* At the the world's tallest building in Dubai, Benji returns to the room and sighs with relief: Changing all those room numbers was really hard! Meanwhile, the rest of the team is collapsed on the floor after Ethan almost plunged to his death, and Brandt and Jane almost died saving him. They are decidedly unsympathetic.
** The reason he has to pull this death-defying stunt is because the rope he was using to climb down wasn't long enough. When he realizes this, he's about ten feet above the open window he needs to get through, and this conversation occurs:
-->'''Brandt''': [[CaptainObvious Your line's not long enough!]]
-->'''Ethan''': [[PrecisionFStrike No shit!]]
* All of Creator/SimonPegg's scenes.
* From Ethan's not-briefing.
-->'''[=SecDef=]:''' Now I've been ordered to take you to Washington where they will hang the Kremilin bombing on you and your team. Unless you were to escape after assaulting Brandt and me.\\
'''Brandt:''' ಠ_ಠ Sir?
* [[ChekhovsGag The glove]] stuck on the Burj when Ethan had to take out his right glove because it was malfunctioning.
* In Mumbai, the team is using planets as code names; Ethan is Jupiter, Jane is Venus, Brandt is Saturn, and Benji is Pluto. Benji doesn't like his code name, though:
-->'''Benji''': Why am I Pluto? It's not even a planet anymore!
-->'''Brandt''': (sarcastically) I think Uranus is still available.
-->'''Benji''': (more sarcastically) Heheheh, [[DontExplainTheJoke it's funny 'cause you said anus!]]
* Brandt's understandable hesitation to drop down the server fan, with everyone practically screaming "JUMP!"
-->'''Brandt''': "Should I not have jumped? 'Cause I ''jumped''!"
** When he finally (barely) gets out of the computer:
-->'''Brandt:''' "Next time, ''I'' get to seduce the rich guy."
* The prison guard's subtitled reaction to the riot: *%@$#!
* Ethan's One-Liner of "Mission accomplished!" before hitting the button to stop the nuke. Ethan's bewildered when the countdown continues ticking.

* "Next time ''I'' get to seduce the rich guy."

-->'''Brandt''': [[CaptainObvious The line's not long enough!]]

* Pretty much all of Anthony Hopkins [[OneSceneWonder limited screentime]] but special mention goes to "To lie to a man and go to bed with him? She's a woman. She has all the training she needs" and he gets the film's best line with ''This isn't Mission: Difficult. It's Mission: Impossible. Difficult should be a walk in the park for You".

* All of SimonPegg's scenes.