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* Marik tells a story about how he and Bakura tried to sneak into Kaiba's mansion but were told to go away, so they went around the back and Marik climbed in through a window, which turned out to be the bathroom.
-->'''Marik:''' And so I ''used his toilet''! Hahahahahaha! He will never know!
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-->'''Secuity Guard''' You can let yourself out.
-->'''Marik''' (mimicking) "Which is more then I can say for myself because I'm so drunk!".

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-->'''Secuity Guard''' Guard:''' You can let yourself out.
-->'''Marik''' (mimicking) -->'''Marik:''' ''(mimicking)'' "Which is more then I can say for myself because I'm so drunk!".
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* [[TsubasaReservoirChronicle THEY TOUCH BUTTS]] [[ShapedLikeItself WITH THEIR BUTTS]]!

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* [[TsubasaReservoirChronicle [[Manga/TsubasaReservoirChronicle THEY TOUCH BUTTS]] [[ShapedLikeItself WITH THEIR BUTTS]]!
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-->'''Marik''': [[MemeticMutation Well, Imma let you finish, but]] [[KanyeWest Dracula was the greatest vampire of all time]]! [[MemeticMutation OF ALL TIME]]!

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-->'''Marik''': [[MemeticMutation Well, Imma let you finish, but]] [[KanyeWest [[Music/KanyeWest Dracula was the greatest vampire of all time]]! [[MemeticMutation OF ALL TIME]]!
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* The entire battle in the apartment after Marik picks up a stray car stereo. From beating a thug that looks like JohnCena to the string of pop culture references and IncrediblyLamePun firing squad when taking out the trash:

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* The entire battle in the apartment after Marik picks up a stray car stereo. From beating a thug that looks like JohnCena Wrestling/JohnCena to the string of pop culture references and IncrediblyLamePun firing squad when taking out the trash:
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* "[[WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Marik, Teenage Mutant Ninja Marik...]]"
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-->'''Slender Man:''' (slowed down and sounding genuinely creepy for the first time) HAAAAAAAAAY GUYYYYYYYYYYYYS

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-->'''Slender Man:''' (slowed down and sounding genuinely creepy for the first time) HAAAAAAAAAY GUYYYYYYYYYYYYS'''''HAAAAAAAAAY GUYYYYYYYYYYYYS...'''''

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-->'''Bakura''': [[EvilLaugh PFSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHA!]]!

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-->'''Bakura''': [[EvilLaugh PFSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHA!]]!




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* Marik comments on the ScheduleSlip, saying he doesn't even remember what he was playing:
-->'''Marik''': What game is this? Is this ''[[VideoGame/SuperMario Mario]]''? Cause if this is ''[[VideoGame/SuperMario Mario]]'', the Mushroom Kingdom has gone to crap, man!


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* Marik finds Lily's diary:
-->'''Marik''': Oh hey, a diary! It's like the analogue version of Tumblr!

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* Marik encounters a thug he missed while trying to enter the shower:
-->'''Marik''': That does it, no one makes me wait to wash my hair! ''*sees the thug*'' Yeah, eat it! ''*shoots him in the face*'' YEAH! I've gotta tell you, that's not the first time I've [[AccidentalInnuendo shot in a guy's face]].
-->'''Bakura''': [[EvilLaugh PFSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHA!]]!
-->'''Marik''': Why are you in such a giggly mood today Bakura?
-->'''Bakura''': [[BlatantLies Oh, no reason]].



* Later, he meets a similar NPC urinating in a dark alley. Cue him approaching him to drink his blood while playing the Film/{{Jaw}} theme.

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* Later, he meets a similar NPC urinating in a dark alley. Cue him approaching him to drink his blood while playing the Film/{{Jaw}} Film/{{Jaws}} theme.



* Marik kills Chunck using a severed arm as a weapon:

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* Marik kills Chunck Chunk using a severed arm as a weapon:
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* When Nines protest in-game to the Fledgling's execution:
-->'''Nines''': THIS IS BULLSHIT!
-->'''Marik'''[=/=]'''Nines''': [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Vampires are supposed to SPARKLE!]]
-->''(whispers and agitation in the room)''
-->'''Marik'''[=/=]'''The Crowd''': I think he is right, maybe this ''is'' bullshit...
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-->'''Bakura''': Imagine being that guy and getting in the afterlife and having to explain to your friends how you died: "Oh, yes, I got killed by a vampire!" "Oh? did he suck your blood, or something?" "No, he... he stabbed me." "... Oh. Well that's rather lame. It's kind of a lame death, you being stabbed by a vampire... I mean, did you put up a fight?" "No, he got me from behind and he just sort of stabbed me." "Oh." "Well... How did ''you'' die?" "Oh, I got shoot in the face by a werewolf!" "... That's still better than mine."

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-->'''Bakura''': Imagine being that guy and getting in the afterlife and having to explain to your friends how you died: "Oh, yes, I got killed by a vampire!" "Oh? did he suck your blood, or something?" "No, he... he stabbed me." "... Oh. Well that's rather lame. It's kind of a lame death, you being stabbed by a vampire... I mean, did you put up a fight?" "No, he got me from behind and he just sort of stabbed me." "Oh." "Well... How did ''you'' die?" "Oh, I got shoot shot in the face by a werewolf!" "... That's still better than mine."
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* Marik encounters [[LookLikeOrlok Bertram]] for the first time... and FREAKS OUT. He spends the first part of the conversation screaming "I don't like!" repeatedly.

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* Marik encounters [[LookLikeOrlok [[LooksLikeOrlok Bertram]] for the first time... and FREAKS OUT. He spends the first part of the conversation screaming "I don't like!" repeatedly.
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* Marik encounters Bertram for the first time... and FREAKS OUT. He spends the first part of the conversation screaming "I don't like!" repeatedly.

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* Marik encounters Bertram [[LookLikeOrlok Bertram]] for the first time... and FREAKS OUT. He spends the first part of the conversation screaming "I don't like!" repeatedly.
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* Bakura learns his mission is to place explosives in a warehouse to blow it up. He doesn't hide his happyness.
-->'''Bakura''': Oh, Goodie, do I get to be a terrorist? This video game is full of fun activities!


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* When killing a random mook with a knife, Bakura points out how this isn't what vampires usually are known for and deliver this pearl:
-->'''Bakura''': Imagine being that guy and getting in the afterlife and having to explain to your friends how you died: "Oh, yes, I got killed by a vampire!" "Oh? did he suck your blood, or something?" "No, he... he stabbed me." "... Oh. Well that's rather lame. It's kind of a lame death, you being stabbed by a vampire... I mean, did you put up a fight?" "No, he got me from behind and he just sort of stabbed me." "Oh." "Well... How did ''you'' die?" "Oh, I got shoot in the face by a werewolf!" "... That's still better than mine."

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* Marik's tour of Santa Monica, especially around the crime scene:
-->'''Marik''': Ah, up next on our tour of Santa Monica, it is the... [[IDontLikeTheSoundOfThatPlace vicious brutal murder site]]! [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin This were people get viciously brutally murdered]]! Uh... it's kind of a weird stop on the tour... I don't know why people come here, unless they want to get murdered brutally and viciously, but there you go! There you can see [[BlatantLies Santa Monica's finest police officers]] doing [[PoliceAreUseless what they do best- standing aroud doing nothing at all and just sort of hoping the crime solves itself!]]

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* Marik's tour of Santa Monica, especially around the crime scene:
-->'''Marik''': Ah, up next on our tour of Santa Monica, it is the... [[IDontLikeTheSoundOfThatPlace vicious brutal murder site]]! [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin This were people get viciously brutally murdered]]! Uh... it's kind of a weird stop on the tour... I don't know why people come here, unless they want to get murdered brutally and viciously, but there you go! There you can see [[BlatantLies Santa Monica's finest police officers]] doing [[PoliceAreUseless what they do best- standing aroud doing nothing at all and just sort of hoping the crime solves itself!]]


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* Marik's tour of Santa Monica, especially around the crime scene:
-->'''Marik''': Ah, up next on our tour of Santa Monica, it is the... [[IDontLikeTheSoundOfThatPlace vicious brutal murder site]]! [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin This were people get viciously brutally murdered]]! Uh... it's kind of a weird stop on the tour... I don't know why people come here, unless they want to get murdered brutally and viciously, but there you go! There you can see [[BlatantLies Santa Monica's finest police officers]] doing [[PoliceAreUseless what they do best- standing aroud doing nothing at all and just sort of hoping the crime solves itself!]]
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* Marik meets a NPC dressed like a goth:
-->'''Marik''': Oh, a goth! Maybe if I stand here long enough, he will slit his wrist and save me the trouble of biting his neck.
* Later, he meets a similar NPC urinating in a dark alley. Cue him approaching him to drink his blood while playing the Film/{{Jaw}} theme.
-->'''Marik''': Just when you thought it was safe to urinate in a dark alley, fool!
* Upon hearing Mercurio is almost sixty years old:
-->'''Marik''': Yes, you do look younger than you age; so you are either a vampire, or you are an anime character.
* Also this game:
-->'''Marik''': It's like some strange alternate dimension version of Los Angeles where nobody else notices the horrible things that are going on around them! Wait, no... it's just Los Angeles.
* Marik kills Chunck using a severed arm as a weapon:
-->'''Marik''': Somehow this is more effective than simply punching him with my own arm! Weeee! How is this friggin arm so powerful, did it belong to a jedi, or something?
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* Marik's tour of Santa Monica, especially around the crime scene:
-->'''Marik''': Ah, up next on our tour of Santa Monica, it is the... [[IDontLikeTheSoundOfThatPlace vicious brutal murder site]]! [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin This were people get viciously brutally murdered]]! Uh... it's kind of a weird stop on the tour... I don't know why people come here, unless they want to get murdered brutally and viciously, but there you go! There you can see [[BlatantLies Santa Monica's finest police officers]] doing [[PoliceAreUseless what they do best- standing aroud doing nothing at all and just sort of hoping the crime solves itself!]]
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-->'''Marik''': Shut up, Bakura! ''[[Film/ThePassionOfTheChrist THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST]]'' IS A CRAPPY MOVIE! (everything starts flying around and hitting him, draining his life points) Dah! Oh! Dah! No no no! Okay, I am sorry! I am sorry! (it gets worse) Dah! Okay, I admit it, I admit it, I am gay!

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-->'''Marik''': Shut up, Bakura! ''[[Film/ThePassionOfTheChrist THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST]]'' IS A CRAPPY MOVIE! (everything starts flying around and hitting him, draining his life points) Dah! Oh! Dah! No no no! Okay, I am sorry! I am sorry! (it gets worse) Dah! Okay, Ok, ok! I admit it, it! [[spoiler:I'm gay, I'm gay! I admit it, like men, and I am gay!like men's bottoms, and I have a whole folder on my computer filled with Thiefshipping pictures!]]
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* This exchange:
-->'''Marik''': Oh, look, it's one of those things... oh... what do you call them? Eeh... a... "something-waiter"...
-->'''Bakura''': Dumb.
-->'''Marik''': ''You'' are dumb!
-->'''Bakura''': No, Marik, the word for it is "dumb"!
-->'''Marik''': The word for ''you'' is dumb!
-->'''Bakura''': No, no, MARIK! The thing you are inside right now is called a dumbwaiter!
-->'''Marik''': YOU are the dumb waiter!
-->'''Bakura''': (sigh) Whatever.
-->'''Marik''': Ah, totally won ''that'' argument!
* Marik [[BullyingADragon provoking Mel Gibson's ghost]] leads to this:
-->'''Marik''' (upon witnessing a pan falling): [[SarcasmMode Oh, no, scaaary! A frying pan fell on the floor!]] [[ReasonYouSuckSpeech Mel Gibson, you are not even trying at this point, are you? I mean, come on, I know Hollywood has basically turned its back on you and everybody thinks you're a psychopath, but you could at least put some effort in haunting me and terrorizing me!]] Oh, whatever, I'll just take this! (grabs the journal)
-->'''Female Ghost''' (whispering): Help me!
-->'''Marik''': Huh? What? Yeah, I am still not impressed, Mel Gibson! This is about as impressive as ''Film/ThePatriot''! ({{Beat}}) Do you hear what I am saying?
-->'''Female Ghost''' (still whispering): He is coming...
-->'''Marik''': Well, he shouldn't be, because I am not getting him that blowjob! (everything starts shaking in the room) Oh, what is it? Come at me, you australian pums!
-->'''Bakura''': Em... Marik? [[GenreSavvy You probably shouldn't]]...
-->'''Marik''': Shut up, Bakura! ''[[Film/ThePassionOfTheChrist THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST]]'' IS A CRAPPY MOVIE! (everything starts flying around and hitting him, draining his life points) Dah! Oh! Dah! No no no! Okay, I am sorry! I am sorry! (it gets worse) Dah! Okay, I admit it, I admit it, I am gay!
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* When he sees the wife's ghost running away, he assumes she is scared of him, and takes it as an offense to his sexyness.

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* "Well, at least this is still more interesting than the Blairwitch Project."

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* "Well, at least this is still more interesting than the Blairwitch Project."''Film/TheBlairwitchProject''."
* "This is like ''Film/TheShining'', only with Mel Gibson instead of Jack Nicholson. Which means it's ten times scarier!"
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* "Well, at least this is still more interesting than the Blairwitch Project."
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* Upon learning he will go to the beach:
-->"Great! I can work on my tan... wait. I am a vampire... I no longer have a tan... [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]]"
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* Upon being explained what a Ghoul (human who bond with a vampire by drinking their blood) is:
-->"Dude! That sounds gay even by vampire standards!"
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* "Tim Burton would love to live in a place like this: no sunlight and freaks everywhere."
* Marik's reaction upon meeting [[{{Keet}} Knox]]
-->"Oh, God... this guy is the vampire's equivalent of a fangirl, isn't he?"
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* When the Sheriff is about to behead Marik's sire with his {{BFS}}
-->'''Marik''': Hey, big guy, [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII Zack Fair]] called, he wants his buster sword back! (GoryDiscretionShot of the Sire getting beheaded).... On second thought, maybe you should keep it.

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** ''(as thugs armed with wooden stakes break into the apartment)'' "Watchtower~" ''(stakes PC and woman he was with)'' "GAH! Talk about morning wood! [[LowestCommonDenominator Heh, did that joke for Rex and Weevil]]."

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** ''(as thugs armed with wooden stakes break into the apartment)'' "Watchtower~" ''(stakes PC and woman he was with)'' "GAH! Talk about morning wood! [[LowestCommonDenominator Heh, did that joke for Rex and Weevil]]."Weevil]].
* Marik's reaction to [[MsFanservice Velvet Velour]]
-->"She makes Mai Valentine look subtle!"



-->'''Isaac Abrams''': What time is it... oh, that right, my character design doesn't have a watch.
-->'''Therese Voerman''': You think this bad? ''My'' character design [[GoingCommando doesn't have panties]]!
--> '''Guy''': This is the least accurate production of Hamlet I've ever seen!

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-->'''Isaac Abrams''': What -->'''[[CoolOldGuy Isaac Abrams]]''': Mhm, I wonder what time is it... it is... oh, that that's right, my character design model doesn't have a watch.
-->'''Therese Voerman''': -->'''[[IronLady Therese Voerman]]''': You think this you got it bad? ''My'' My character design model [[GoingCommando doesn't have panties]]!
--> '''Guy''': '''[[ScaryBlackMan Skelter]]''' (whispering to Nine): This is the least accurate production of Hamlet I've ever seen!
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-->'''Therese Voerman''': You think this bad? ''My'' character design doesn't have panties!

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-->'''Therese Voerman''': You think this bad? ''My'' character design [[GoingCommando doesn't have panties!panties]]!
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-->'''Isaac Abrams''': What time is it... oh, that right, my character design doesn't have a watch.
-->'''Therese Voerman''': You think this bad? ''My'' character design doesn't have panties!

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